The Perfect Drug
by ProfessorFerrars3256
Summary: Hermione Granger has returned to Hogwarts as potions professor and finds a connection with (not dead) Severus Snape. Trying to establish herself in the potions community and balancing the family she's formed post war, takes her life down paths she least expected. T for mild themes of sexuality, senicide, and other dark themes. Ignoring the DH epilogue, EWE,eventual happy ending.
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: Welcome to another of my crazy stories. I promise an eventual happy ending but plenty of angst...I tried to minimize the angst, but unfortunately, it's just the way I write. Thank you for reading and let me know what you think! This story is going to be longer than "Away from the Sun" if you are familiar, in terms of length. This story is finished in raw form at 25 chapters and over 145,000 words. I promise this fic is not as dark as "Enjoy the Silence", although there are some dark themes, they are brief and get resolved, so in the end things are happy it's just as realistic as I believe life is sometimes.**

The room was dark and smoky, she didn't think Rosmerta allowed anyone to smoke in The Three Broomsticks anymore, but here they were, fogging the place up. Before she could even order a drink, one appeared at her hand, from a lad down at the end of the bar, obviously unaware who she was or what her purpose was in the bar that evening. Still, she bowed her head to him and took an inventory of the drink, tapping her fingers on the edge making sure there weren't any toxins or multi-purpose lust or love potions in the mix. When she was sure there nothing in the drink, she downed in one gulp. It didn't matter how many drinks she consumed, she could still smell his scent on her arm, the feel of his fingers on her own, and most disturbing of all, the tiny spot behind her ear where his mouth had planted the gentlest of kisses, inhaling her scent as he did, sending unbearable chills down her spine. The headmaster certainly knew what he was doing.

A second drink appeared next to her hand, from a different gentleman who did not meet her eye. The same routine, different hand signals for different toxins, but this time it glowed a particularly interesting shade of purple; she looked to the man two down from her and saw his smirk; did he really think she would drink it without testing it for toxins? She'd been drugged before and this was not the night. Although she wouldn't have had the drink in the first place, the juniper berries on the rim being an immediate problem as she was allergic, she knew that the toxins in the drink would do far more damaged if an effort to play the damsel in distress, she pretended to drink the rum and simply cast a spell turning the liquid to oxygen as it hit her throat. She wasn't the smartest witch of her age for nothing.

"Rosmerta, firewhiskey please." Hermione walked over to the gentleman who'd given her the laced drink, her arm laced through his.

"Thank you for the drink, that was awfully generous." But as soon as he turned to her, she knew it was a losing battle. The man was already gone, so drunk he could barely form a complete sentence. Rosmerta handed her the firewhiskey and she pretended to understand everything the drunk wizard said.

"That is fascinating." She replied to his inane babble. It was better than being alone in her rooms, pretending to ignore the odd and uncomfortable behavior from the headmaster and her own feelings towards him. When the drunk was ready to leave, she accompanied him, but not to shag him or even to find any sort of comfort, instead she hexed him and placed a charm on him, covering his arms with, 'I drug women for sex.'

"Perhaps you'll rethink your efforts in the future, disgusting pig."

At least he'd been a distraction, at least she was obsessing about something else instead of the man she knew she'd see bright and early in the morning in the Great Hall, her boss Headmaster Severus Snape. It was all too confusing; he'd barely spoken more than a few sentences or words to at a time her since she'd come back to teach potions while Horace Slughorn was on sabbatical. He was mostly polite, perhaps curt was a better term, but he didn't go out of his way to be cruel to her as she'd felt he had during her time as a time. It hadn't hurt that escaping the wooing of her friend Ron Weasley had made the decision quite easy, to come to Hogwarts and teach. It wasn't that she didn't love Ron, she did, but not as a spouse; they fought far too often and about things that were important for her to ever agree to marry him. She wished he hadn't asked at all, especially now that things were awkward between them, but she might not have broken it off with him otherwise.

The crunching snow between her feet broke her thoughts for a moment. She became immediately consumed with thoughts of Severus, his hand on her shoulder then her neck, moving her hair out of the way, and placing his rather warm lips behind her ear, sending shockwaves down her spine. Maybe she'd misinterpreted his actions, he might've been removing something from her hair, steadying her hands while she worked, holding her arm to help her reach for an ingredient. It didn't have to mean anything if she didn't dwell on it, but as she rounded the cobblestones to the gate, he was there, watching her. They'd almost kissed twice in their reacquaintance, years before at Grimmauld Place for Christmas when Ron had laced the pumpkin juice with a mild lust potion he and George had been developing, which had immediately backfired on him when she had eyes only for Severus Snape, whom she had to admit was a much kinder man since surviving the Final Battle. And then, once more they'd almost kissed two nights into her moving back to Hogwarts to teach. As though it were a habit, she'd stood on her tiptoes to tell him goodnight after they'd shared tea, his way of welcoming her and trying to smooth any awkwardness there might be since they hadn't spoken often following her efforts to save his life after the battle. When she'd interviewed for the position, she'd spoken mostly with Deputy Headmistress Aurora Sinistra and not Severus, so he'd some to make amends and show her that he could be amiable. She hadn't expected it, and when he'd risen to leave, she stood on her toes to kiss him as though he were Ron, immediately blushing and apologizing but noting that he hadn't seemed too put out by the action, and had seemed almost forlorn that her kiss had planted on his cheek instead of his lips. Stepping into the gates, she felt the heat of his breath on her cheek as she turned to speak to him, his eyes swept over her in alarm.

"I've hexed a villager for trying to seduce me with rum, in case it's in the Daily Prophet tomorrow." His eyebrow raised, but he didn't say anything straight away, instead he closed the gates as she came through and walked steadily behind her.

"I didn't intend to bring any attention to the school, but I cannot tolerate a rapist." Still nothing, he simply walked behind her, his shoes tapping against the stone in time with hers, though her legs were quite shorter than his and she struggled to stay ahead of him, lost in thought again thinking about the kiss.

"We have plenty of wine and whiskey here, Professor, perhaps next time you feel like escaping into the village, you ask an elf to supply you with toxin free alcohol?" His voice was low and deep- did he normally wait up on professors who were in Hogsmeade for a little rest and absence of teenagers? His tone was not reproachful nor cruel, but she did feel rather like her father was giving her a stern talking to.

"I'll take that under advisement, Headmaster. Anything else, or am I free to go to my quarters?" She felt chastised, talked down to like she'd been when she was his student. It never occurred to her that when she became a professor at Hogwarts, that his candor would not change. But, the more she thought about it, the more it seemed as though he was being protective and not chastising her at all.

"As you are aware, my own quarters are in this direction, you are under no scrutiny from me." But she could hear it in his voice, the sneer on his lips. He was normally curt, not tenaciously kind, but still pleasant enough for the Governors to keep him in command. Suddenly, she couldn't get the thought of his hands on her shoulder, one in her hair turning her head slightly, as he moved closer to her, laying one kiss behind her ear and saying nothing. She hadn't made it up, it did happen, yet here they were, saying almost nothing as they walked through dimly lit hallways to the dungeons. Had she imagined it? Had she imagined all the pleasant things he'd done? Her thoughts drifted, perhaps she was losing her mind.

"Goodnight, Headmaster." Hermione said charmingly, wanting somehow to undue the tone she'd taken with him before. It had seemed that he was looking out for her at the gates. Before she could turn her doorknob, he stopped and watched her, the light illuminating the small smile that played on her lips and the glow of her eyes, her beautiful brown eyes.

"Stay safe, Professor Granger." And he stalked away, but not before putting his hand on her door as he passed, once it was safely closed, of course.  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Severus Snape was not a romantic, he was not a particularly kind man most of the time, though he did have his moments, but there was something about Hermione Granger that weaved a spell through his mind. She was not traditionally beautiful, sure she had a nice body and it had not proven worse for the war, but it was her attitude, her thirst for knowledge, the thing he'd broken her down about many times- he could no longer deny how much he wanted to talk to her, to woo her as it were, but he didn't allow himself for fear of not only rejection but the impropriety of it all. Instead, he stole moments with her, even when he allowed himself to go too far, like kissing her in the potions laboratory. Stolen moments were better than nothing, especially with the woman who'd saved him and given him another chance at life. It had surprised him when he'd reached out to her for the potions job; she was in limbo at the ministry and rumored to be engaged to Ronald Weasley, but he tried anyway. Her NEWT score in potions, and all other subjects, rivaled his own and Slughorn's, her abilities on record as well.

Every time he'd tried to thank her, he'd fallen flat. How do you thank someone who has saved your life? There was no adequate gift or admonishment; the six years which had passed served only to leave him desperate to do something for her, but had also increased his need to be around her, if only to show her that he wasn't wasting her gift. Admittedly, he had not been a good person, he'd believed for many years that purebloods were the only appropriate magical members of society, he'd killed and watched others be killed, he'd been unable to save his first love, he killed his predecessor; and yet she'd still thought enough of him to save him, even before she'd seen the memories. She still sat near him at staff meetings or even at meals, sometimes chatting him up even he appeared disinterested. Some days it took all he had not to yell at her, to tell her that her morning conversations were unnecessary and unwelcome, even if he didn't completely believe those sentiments. His anger and indifference boiled up in him, a life lived with the absence of affection or true stability, except for the stone wall of Hogwarts; he didn't know how to temper himself in her case and there were many times when he was thankful he had not, she was getting too comfortable or too close, and even though he longed for her company, he didn't know how to approach her or have a stable companionship with someone who wasn't a maniacal killer or supporter of said maniacal killer, or staff at Hogwarts.

Sighing, he dimmed the lights in his quarters and lay still on his bed, rubbing his temples and wishing he'd not waited at the gates. She was a free woman, no head of house, she could leave the caste unattended whenever she wanted, but he didn't want her to or at least not without him. His conflicting feelings kept him from sleep for a further three hours before he finally gave in, turned the lights out with a simple flick of his wand, and burrowed under the covers. Perhaps he could try to be pleasant in the morning?


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Thanks for reading! I own nothing you recognize!**

 **Chapter 2:  
** "Men like you can never change, but you must." He heard as he sat at the head table, looking to his right where Professors Flitwick and Granger were sitting, in deep conversation. Had he misheard them? What were they talking about and were they speaking to him?

"All I am saying is, when someone knows they don't care for haggis, they know they don't care for haggis."

"But, Filius, have you even tried it?" Hermione asked, edging some onto his plate, waiting for him to try a bite. He was obstinate, he would not try it.  
"Are you force-feeding professors now, Granger?" Severus heard himself say without looking her way.

"I just think if you live in Scotland, it should be something you try. No harm in trying new things." Her giggle reminded him of the students, and he remembered she was not much older than her them. He looked over as Flitwick took her bite and immediately spit it out, drinking copious amounts of pumpkin juice as he did.  
"See, now you've tried it, you can legitimately say you don't like it. I'm sorry, friend, I won't push you to try anything else, well not today at least." Her smile spread across her face and it almost made Severus smile, to see her fitting in well with people he'd worked with for over twenty-two years, and they treating her as an equal and not simply a student returned. He needed to be better about that, but recognizing that he needed to do many things better didn't mean he actually would.  
"Good try, Hermione, I will forgo the haggis. But, you should try the liver and onions for dinner, as a fair tradeoff." Flitwick offered his hand to her and she took it.  
"Deal." She laughed, finishing her haggis and neeps, an odd breakfast for a chilly late November morning. Before completely finishing and as Flitwick left the table, she leaned to Severus. "He has no idea I grew up ten miles from a dairy farm, we had liver every Thursday my entire childhood." Severus nodded politely, but the details of her childhood did nothing to cement that she'd had so many things he hadn't. He hated being morose, he hated that she made him feel that way, even if it wasn't her attention.

"Indeed." It was all he could muster so early, without being a dolt. She crinkled her nose, apparently avoiding a sneeze and sipped her pumpkin juice slowly, obviously lost in thought as she did because she was decidedly quiet. He chanced to look at her hands, so delicate but perfect for potions, so soft and warm. His mind took him to the Shrieking Shack, those hands at his neck, stopping the bleeding miraculously and administering all the antivenin she'd found in the castle, most likely in his personal stores, coming back when the others had believed him gone. Some days, that moment played over and over in his mind. If he'd died, he wouldn't be thinking about her, he would be portrait in his current office, most likely tormenting the new headmaster and enjoying the solace of Elysium, if he was lucky enough to find absolution. No, instead he was still alive and watching her sip her juice, be friendly with professors, and every now and then, looking at him for something, always searching his face. He shouldn't have kissed her and he was still surprised she hadn't said anything about the incident.

"Good morning, Professor Snape, enjoy your day." She quickly stood and placed her napkin on her plate, leaving him as he'd been musing about her.  
"Good day." He mustered, it was something.

OOOOOooooooooOOOOOOO  
Hermione had double potions with sixth year Ravenclaws and Slytherins before first years and third years after lunch. It was a job she loved, showing students how to create something from ingredients and turn it into something that could cure a cold or save someone's life; it was far more rewarding than her job at the Ministry had been. When she started with the Creature Welfare division, she'd hope to actually be helping but instead it was all bureaucracy and paperwork, no one actually got helped. Six years of that was enough, so when Professor Snape sent her a letter inquiring about the potions position, she accepted immediately. Fresh on the heels of quitting her job and turning down a marriage proposal, she felt that the familiarity of Hogwarts was the perfect place to be, plus she wanted to try her hand at working on improving some potions, which was why Severus Snape had been in her potions lab in the first place. She'd asked him for practical help regarding the wolfsbane potions, to help Bill Weasley who was suffering side effects from his attack and for Teddy Lupin, who was showing signs that he might become a werewolf at puberty. Harry and Ginny, who had been married for four years, were raising Teddy and they wanted all the help they could get. It became Hermione's major project, beyond her regular classroom duties. In the few months she'd been at Hogwarts, she'd had more practice with potions than in her regular job at the Ministry and it felt rewarding, unlike the paperwork. Though she still had grading, marking essays and testing beakers was not the same as filling out the same bloody forms in triplicate, just for her boss to say whatever she wanted was impossible. She heard a knock at her door between classes and in time for lunch.  
"Enter." She called out cheerfully, her quill in hand and her tea steeping softly at her side.

"Harry!" Her best friend walked the door, dressed in his auror uniform and sat squarely in the chair in front of her desk.

"What are you doing here?" She asked, giving him a huge hug and then joining him in her second chair.

"Snape asked me to help with some defense lessons." But suddenly Hermione's face fell. "Ron isn't here, it's just me. You know Snape..." She rolled her eyes, of course he'd asked Harry and not Ron, he wasn't entirely fond of the Weasleys. "Thank goodness, I couldn't have done with a row today. How's Ginny?"

"Great, Teddy is learning loads and loads. We actually have a little announcement of our own." Hermione beamed at him, she knew exactly what he was going to say.  
"It's very early, but she wanted me to tell you before you heard from a Weasley."  
"She shouldn't worry about that, Molly isn't speaking to me."

"Well you did say no at Sunday dinner in front of everyone." Harry laughed, patting her hand.  
"He shouldn't have asked me at dinner, he should've known better, he..." But she stopped as she saw Snape out of the corner of her eye.

"Potter, thank you for coming. Professor Crowe has fifth year OWL students in twenty minutes." Harry looked to his former professor and stood, shaking his hand. No great conversation between them concerning Lily, his mother, or all the things he'd done to protect Harry had ever happened, but an easy respect and understanding existed between them now, especially since Harry was no longer his student.

"Thanks, Severus. I'll be right along. Talk with you later, Hermione." Hermione nodded and returned to her marking, her tea cold. Snape lingered in her doorway as Harry exited as though he wanted to say something, but he didn't. She was jealous, in a way, that Harry so easily called him Severus; it was something she had yet to bring herself to do.

"Is there something you need, headmaster?" She asked, with a cheek in her voice, almost teasing him. Taking her cold tea, she warmed it with the touch of her finger, trying to show him she was adept at wandless Magic. After all this time, she was still seeking his approval.

"No, professor, though I should say your students were speaking about a particularly effective lesson on Felix Felicis. I'm sure Horace would be grateful." Was he actually complimenting her? Had he bumped his head on the way down to her office?

"I'm glad to hear that, it was a fun lesson for me. They don't typically care much for potions that actually cure things or solve problems, but show them some liquid luck, and you've got them." The sarcasm in her voice was new, the discussion with Harry which brought up Ron had made her terse.  
"Undoubtedly."

"I know you understand, I saw it every lesson in your class, well when Neville wasn't destroying another cauldron." It was his turn to roll his eyes, which made her smile. He looked exactly as she remembered him when she was a student, except now he looked less severe, less like his life was on the line every day.

"I'm testing some new properties with wolfsbane this month, if you are available to help, the process takes twenty-four hours. I understand if you're busy..." He waved her off, of course he'd make himself available for her.

"Which day will you be attempting this?" Making himself sound incredibly busy.  
"Saturday into Sunday, Teddy is going to take it the following Thursday, which is a full moon. "

"Is that wise?" She leaned back in her chair and folded her arms across her chest, not realizing she was boosting her breasts as she did. It took all of his will not to stare at them, her teaching robes unzipped and beneath her button-up white shirt, unbuttoned to show just enough cleavage to be seen now that she was propping them up.

"He will suffer no adverse effects, simply not go through the irritations he's been having during the full moon since he isn't a full werewolf. I've tested this four times now, if Harry and Ginny have consented, I feel strongly it is best to give it to him now, before he becomes a full werewolf in a couple years. It will not be associated with this school should it fail, I promise that is the last thing I would ever want. If something goes awry, I will take full responsibility and leave, Horace said he'd come back if I needed to leave." He had a puzzled look on his face, as though to question why Horace would already be prepared to return if she needed to leave.

"Your marriage?" He asked, the words again escaping before he could temper himself.

"My what?" She was shocked. Who did she think she was marrying?

"Potter implied you were engaged this summer at his birthday party, I assumed we'd have you for a year, if." This was quite an odd conversation to be having midday, in her office, considering that he hadn't asked her about it in his welcome interview or since.

"Harry was under the impression that I would say yes to Ron, which I did not. Horace agreed to return if my research with the wolfsbane became too worrisome to be an effective teacher. I'm sorry you were misinformed, Professor." She scratched ruthlessly at a student's essay and finished her tea, standing to meet him at her door, classes would be resuming in ten minutes and she refused to be tardy. As she met him at the door, she slipped on her outer robes and smoothed a few strands of her hair which escaped her ponytail.

"Don't you have students to scare and intimidate, headmaster? I'm sure the little scoundrels are just waiting to see those black robes fly down the hallway." Her smirk hit just as she closed the door to her office, Snape standing quite still on the other side, looking rather pleased with himself.

"Indeed." With that, Hermione let out a slight huff, there was just no pleasing her headmaster. No joke, no anecdote, nothing seemed to make him see her as a human being. She'd seen him laugh once and even give a grin to Harry. Maybe it was because she didn't need saving or surveying?

That night at dinner, Harry on one side and Snape on the other, Hermione did her best to appear lively and happy, the life of the conversation. They talked about their first year, how excited they'd been and how she'd almost been a Ravenclaw, which caused a raised brow from Snape, whose brows raised even higher when Harry reminded her he'd almost been a Slytherin.

"And the troll? How did we even survive that?" She buttered her roll and made sure Flitwick saw her eating the liver and onions, which Harry thought were disgusting.

"I still don't understand how we survived most of it, little alone you setting Snape's robes on fire." Harry joked, leaning around Hermione to nudge Snape on the arm.  
"She survived because I didn't know it was her."

"I thought you were trying to kill him, I did what any good friend would do." She tried to defend herself, noting that Snape was not looking at them, but at the crowd of students before them.

"You also disarmed and stunned me, you recall, in the Shrieking Shack your third year." He added, but it brought another memory back, the one in which she'd saved his life. It played across her face, he could see it, the recognition that many things had happened in the Shrieking Shack.

"Hermione was always the best with stunning spells, why aren't you teaching defense? You should've seen what she did when we were hunting horcruxes, a little scary sometimes, really." Harry sounded drunk, but Hermione knew there was no wine or spirits at their table. She was thankful to Harry for moving the subject along. To her left, Snape actually made a sound almost like a laugh, either implying she wasn't actually good at stunning spells or that she was scary. But, he was thinking neither, he was recalling the memories he'd seen in her mind the night she'd saved him, his legilimency able to breach her walls immediately. He knew she was fierce and a force to be reckoned with.

"Harry, I'm sure Professor Snape has had enough reminiscing, tell me more about Ginny, when is she seeing a healer?" Harry cut into his roast and jabbed a potato before stuffing his mouth.

"Next Wednesday, before we give Teddy the potion on Thursday, formality really since Angelica saw her on Sunday and everything with both of them is fine. No twins."

"Oh god, could you imagine Potter/Weasley twins, I would hope I was not still teaching." Hermione laughed, putting her hand on Snape's arms as she did.

"Congratulations, Potter, I hope for an easy pregnancy for your wife and the continued hope that there is only one child." Hermione turned to him, surprised at his half joke.  
"Thank you, Severus, she's pretty nervous, but Teddy has already taught us a lot. Being here helps, too, seeing exactly what I don't want my child to be or do. I don't know how you've done it all these years."

"Well, I don't always have three stragglers setting me on fire or solving my riddles, or God forbid thinking I'm the enemy when there is a werewolf present." Even though they all knew he meant it as a joke, Hermione didn't quite see the laughter in his eyes. Perhaps it hadn't been a fair question, he had been a spy the entire time they were students and completely preoccupied with saving Harry's life.

"Well, gentlemen, it is time for me to settle in for more grading, goodnight." Shoving off from the table, Hermione said goodnight to the other professors and headed to her quarters.

"She seems rather preoccupied." Harry finally said, gulping his pumpkin juice down.

"I've noticed." Severus added, afraid to get too personal about the situation but not uncaring enough to lie to her best friend. "And thanks for the misinformation regarding her engagement, perhaps that's it, I brought it up this morning thinking they were engaged. She was rightfully annoyed, as an I."

"I really thought she would say yes, I mean they were together for six years. Sorry about that."

"It's of no consequence, but I believe I might have made her cross."

"Doubtful, she holds you in too much esteem to be cross with you, at least not to your face." Severus met his eyes finally, Lily's eyes, and found himself lost for a moment. A student dropping her plate brought him back, wondering if perhaps he should bring up the kiss, he needed to explain himself. He had let his physical attraction overpower his emotions and steady head.

"Goodnight, Potter, and thanks again. Crowe is about as apt in defense as a fly trying to escape a glass door."

"Goodnight, Severus." Harry said as Snape stalked off, his mind still lost on Hermione. Why couldn't he have simply found a village girl or even someone from Cokeworth, his home? Why did he find himself so attracted to his former student?


	3. Chapter 3

**AN:I own nothing you recognize! This chapter has some allusions to unwanted sexual advances, not in detail, just a warning. Thanks for reading! This is a long chapter!**

 **Chapter 3  
** Saturday came quickly, Harry said goodbye that morning before returning to Grimmauld Place. It took most of Friday for Hermione to organize and label all of the ingredients she would need for the new trial wolfsbane and then organize her steps. When she found Snape at breakfast, she reminded him she'd be brewing.  
"Around noon, I've asked Winky to bring up meals when we are ready and then we can work in shifts, unless you feel you can remain awake until Sunday."  
"I was a spy for more years than you've been alive, Professor, I believe I can handle whatever you ask of me."  
"Be that as it may, I don't want you complaining on Monday when you're tired that I've kept you up all weekend. " 'I wish you'd keep me up all weekend', he thought, his eyes traveling over her.  
"I will be there promptly at noon."  
"Thank you, headmaster." She finished her pudding and left, her robes billowing oddly like his as she went. 'I wish I could keep him up all weekend', she thought, licking her lips as she did. She immediately chastised herself, though, wondering why she even found the thought appealing; though he was more her type than Ron, not that she'd had much time to figure out her type. Between Viktor Krum and Ron, there certainly was nothing aside from quidditch in common, and since Ron she'd had a few dates with people from the Ministry she'd worked with, and one disastrous weekend when she'd been given a lust potion. It was not her finest hour. But, Snape was different, he was tall and brooding, dark and mysterious. He was snide and cruel some of the time, but she caught him often enough admiring her form, even if he rarely commented on her abilities. They had an easy professional relationship in terms of her being able to speak to him whenever she needed or him being able to consult her on potions related materials.

Opening her faux windows she'd transfigured when she realized she'd be in the dungeons, she let the cool, albeit fake breeze hit her. She suddenly felt wrong in her attraction to Snape, as though there was no possible way she could convince herself it would amount to anything. It had become her task to beg familiarity from him, to touch him as he touched her, just to see if he tingled as much as she did whenever he touched her. And there was still the matter of the kiss from the week before that the hadn't discussed, perhaps they would have time to revisit that kiss while they were working together.

OoooooooooooooooooooooO

At noon, he strolled through the doors of her lab wearing his typical Saturday garb, a black button up, long sleeved shirt that looked a bit like leather and pants that matched, with equally menacing black boots. He looked ever the former death eater in those clothes, she'd only ever seen him in non-black clothing twice, and even then he wore dark green or a dark blue shirt. She, too, wore black, but a dress with capped sleeves and a fitted bodice. Many of the wolfsbane ingredients stained her clothing, so opted for black out of necessity.

Taking the notes she'd carefully organized and labeled out, she grabbed her cutting boards and cauldrons, placing them in close enough proximity so that they could work but not close enough to disturb each other as they worked. He didn't say anything, simply looked over her notes and the order of progression and nodded to her, his hair tied back. Snape painted an odd picture when he looked almost muggle, his hair back and his face softened, brewing gave him escape and that was why she asked him to help so frequently.

"I will prepare these ingredients and you, these. We can leave the asphodel in stasis for six hours, but I'd rather we wait until we absolutely need it as Plutarch wrote, there's nothing worse than wasted asphodel." The left side of his mouth turned upwards slightly, making her smile before they focused again. An hour later, the heat from her cauldron making her hair fall loosely, she stepped away to wash her hands and fix it, her eyes stinging slightly from the garlic paste.

"How do you get your hair to stay so sleek? I've used every ruddy product and it never stays, especially in the humidity down here." She called over to him, in the middle of squishing snails and removing their shells. He cast a quick stasis spell and came over to her, cast a scourgify on his hands and took a small metal container from his pocket.

"Muggle pomade; it leaves your hair in a dreadful state once you don't need it, but while you're brewing, it's the best fix. Here." He put a small amount on his finger tips and worked it through her hair, from root to end, and pulled it all also slowly back into a tight bun, something she'd rather been able to do. If he hadn't been her headmaster and former potions master, she might've melted in his arms straight away, those hands had skill.

"Thank you, that feels remarkably better." Resting her hand on his forearm, she gently squeezed him and then went back to her work station, noting how she sort of smelled like him now and it dawning on her why his hair always looked so very greasy. She liked the smell, she wanted to make a memory of it.

Hours later, when all the preparations were finished and the beginning of the potion brewed, Hermione called Winky in for their dinner. At first, they sat quietly, they'd spent time like this before but not a full twenty-four hours and certainly not since he'd kissed her. In trying not to look silly, Hermione found that her mind was too focused on eating and not on the man before her.

"There was an article about an unfortunate man in St. Mungos yesterday. Seems he had an interesting phrase practically tattooed on his arms." Hermione's eyes widened immediately, she'd almost forgotten about the cad.

"Serves him right, he shouldn't be putting drugs in people's drinks, perhaps if he had any sort of personality, he wouldn't need to." He stopped his knife and fork, and looked to her. She seemed rather more sad than angry, her face scrunched into a tight knit and her eyes nearly on the verge of tears.

"Did something happen? More than you implied, I mean?" She was taken aback, had he read her mind?

"Not that night." Hermione chose her words carefully, she didn't want him to feel sorry for her but at the same time, she wanted him to know that she had been abused before. His confused but apathetic look gave her pause, should she tell him? She'd told no one else aside from her friends.

"This has happened before?"

"Yes, as a joke right after the war or at least I assumed it was a joke. We were all at the Leaky Cauldron and someone thought it would be a laugh to see the prudish Hermione Granger let loose. It was a lust potion; I didn't know then how to check for them then and I certainly never suspected someone would do that to my drink. We were celebrating, you know. Needless to say, no one could call me a prude after that, at least if they'd known how much worse things got after we left the bar. It took a full seventy-two hours before it wore off." He had resumed eating his steak and kidney pie while she spoke, but pushed it away, his appetite completely gone. Even when things with Voldemort were bad, even when he'd taken strange women to bed, he never once imagined taking a woman against her will. It sickened him that at eighteen, the woman before him had gone through something so traumatic directly after the war, probably weeks after she'd saved him.

"Don't pity me, please. I didn't die nor get pregnant, though I am surprised I didn't go into anaphylactic shock since one of the ingredients was juniper berries and I've almost died ingesting those before. Besides, I had practically forgotten it even happened until that man at the Three Broomsticks."

"I don't pity you, Professor Granger." But the look on his face said otherwise. As she finished her pie, her hand trembled for a second and she stilled it on her lap, remembering the strange men she'd encountered during that night, how desperate she'd been to take them back to Grimmauld Place. Their faces, the men she'd kissed, even Harry and Ron, flashed before her, but the image of the man she'd taken back to Grimmauld Place, a complete stranger, stayed with her longer. She could've died, he could've killed her. When she thought about the lust potion that way, it angered her more than anything that had happened in the war. Her virginity lost to a stranger and Ron livid for months, her trust broken. It was never clear who had put the potion in her drink, and that that point, she didn't want to know for fear of going to Azkaban for killing someone.

"At least I learned something." She finally said, breaking the tension.

"Only you would look at a traumatic event and say,'At least I learned something'."

"I'm going to take that as a compliment. Are you finished?" His face was pensive, his lips almost pursed as he nodded and pushed his plate away, taking the last drink of his water and wiping his mouth. Boldly, she took an ice cube from hers and rubbed it around her neck, eventually holding it at the base.

"This potion always makes me so warm, do you find that?"

"Undoubtedly." He couldn't take his eyes off the condensation trickling from the ice cube over her collarbone and down her chest, each drop disappearing to a land he'd very much enjoy to visit. Although the thought made him feel like a lech considering she'd just told him about an accidental lust potion and weekend of debauchery.

"Did you get Harry's invite to the Christmas Party?"

"Yes, though I might have to turn him down this year owing to my deputy leaving for her honeymoon." She remembered the first Christmas after the war, when Snape had surprisingly turned up at Grimmauld Place for Harry's first Christmas party. He'd looked so thin and so very melancholy; it had broken her heart to see him in that state. That was the first time since seeing his memories about Lily Evans Potter and saving his life that she'd wanted nothing more to wrap him in a hug and force him to live with them at Grimmauld Place, just so he'd have someone to be around all the time. She'd pitied him then, but she didn't now.

"I didn't know Aurora was getting married so soon, good for her. Jolly good." She would've been getting married that Christmas, too if she'd said yes. Why was she suddenly so morose, she wondered as she rang for Winky to clear their plates. The potion wasn't quite ready for the next phase, so she took her journal out and started scribbling not about what they'd done so far, each minute detail included.

"Do you always keep such detailed notes?" Snape asked peering over to her side of the table as Winky bustled about them, trying to make as little noise as possible. She'd also brought tea and coffee, for their caffeinated pleasure.

"Yes, or did my essays for you make it seem like I have a difficult time being verbose?" He laughed then, an honest laugh and she quickly saw him lighten, the creases around his eyes soften as he did. "That bad, huh?"

"Worse. Do you know how difficult it was to read your essays? Your writing has much improved."

"You've read my publishings? But they're all so boring and bureaucratic." He agreed, putting a bit of cream in his oolong tea.

"Bureaucratic, sure, but from your mind. You're passionate about your causes, that's undeniable. Plus, I have a staff of house elves who now speak very highly of you and your efforts." His words forced her to blush and feel fourteen again, seeking his praise and finally receiving it.

"Well, when this potion is successful, I hope you will collaborate with me on the essay; it's not my work alone."

"I look forward to it, though you are pretty optimistic about this potion working." She put her quill down and eyed him fiercely, matching his own traditional scowl.

"It will work and I will make you eat those words."

"Gryffindor." He took a look over at the potion and smirked, many had tried to brew a more effective wolfsbane, but none had been successful.

"Mock me all you want, my next goal is to cure it. Maybe you won't think me too optimistic when I do that." He could see she was teasing him, but was also completely serious.

"That ambition is positively Slytherin. Are you sure the sorting hat didn't mean to place you in a house all your own?" She took another ice cube and repeated her earlier action, this time leaving her notes and standing at the cauldrons, careful not to drop even a whisper of liquid in them.

"Perhaps I will always be an anomaly, but you understand that, don't you." Her brown eyes met his, to what was she referring?

"Meaning?"

"You survived against all odds, you were a spy who effectively fooled thousands of people, even Minerva McGonagall, you loved a Gryffindor and muggle-born whilst in the most dangerous time for that occurrence, I think that qualifies you as an anomaly as well, sir." Solemnly, he nodded to her. Things certainly had gotten deep.

"I wouldn't have survived at all without you and in fact, I've been horribly recalcitrant in thanking you for that."

"Anyone would've done the same, no thanks required." She tried not to think of him covered in blood, his eyes leaking of tears and his heart barely beating. For a moment she thought she would cry, herself.

"No, they wouldn't have."

"You thanked me in the hospital, do you remember? I came to see you several times, you were out for most of them but once you weren't, we played muggle chess and you didn't say much, just thank you." She'd returned to the table, scratching on her parchment about the color and consistency of the potion.

"I do remember, but it's still not enough."

"Fine, make it up to me." A smile played on her lips as she pulled the top of the quill across her bottom lip, not looking at him as she did. If she had looked at him, she would've seen the same sultry eyes he'd given her as he left the potions lab after kissing her.

"How do you propose I do that, Professor Granger?" She paused, deciding exactly how she should respond.

"You can start by calling me Hermione, I'm the only staff member I've yet heard you call by their given name, it makes me think you rather don't like me." The spark in her eye was not lost by him, he hadn't even noticed that he hadn't said her name or maybe he had, maybe he purposely didn't say her name to make himself distance his behavior from her. He was unwilling to concede that by saying her name he was admitting that she was an adult and that the precarious feelings and attraction he had been feeling would also be real. It was the the same reason he hadn't asked or pressed her to call him Severus; hearing her name from his lips would mean, again, that she was somehow more than his former student. But she was, she was more than his former student; she was his colleague and now someone he quite believed would someday turn the entire wizarding world on its ear.

"I suppose that is asking a lot, though." She laughed, reaching across to his hand and taking it lightly in hers, a bold move she'd decided on only moments before.

"If I must, though it may take some getting used to, it's not a particularly easy name to say, like Granger."

"And Severus is?" She remarked, pulling her hand away. He knew as soon as he heard her utter the syllables of his name that he would want to hear it once more.

"Ahh, but you don't call me by my given name." Severus looked over to her notes, the scratching resumed, a sort of cadence to their conversation, a sound he quite loved.

"True, though I've never been invited to, either. You seem the sort of person who would only allow a former student or even new colleague to call you by your given name with permission, aside from Harry who simply does whatever he wants."

"You saved my life, Granger...Hermione, I believe you of all people should feel free to call me by my full name, hell even my christened name, which if you ever figure that one out I'll know you've done a great deal of investigative digging." They both had a small laugh before she ceased writing for a moment and then met his particularly fine gaze, watching her hands and then her eyes.

"You really saved your own life, having the antivenin here and…"

"Don't be modest, we both know who did the work and who didn't. I lay in a pool of my own blood on the floor of that ruddy shack and you came back." She could see the distress on his face, the pain revisiting him as he obviously thought about what he'd been through. "We're bordering on morose here, in a dark, humid dungeon. That's depressing, even for me." It was another joke, a rare treat for the day and rather liked it, his dry and obviously sarcastic wit.

"You know in the space of, what ten hours, you've spoken to me more than you have from September to now combined. Perhaps I should try and invent new potions more often." She was dipping her foot in the deep end, hoping he'd allow her to be familiar and friendly. If nothing else, she knew she wanted his friendship, especially since her friends weren't around as often.

"Indeed."

"You're far funnier than you give yourself credit, you know. If students knew how funny you were, they wouldn't be nearly as frightened." He might have laughed at her words if he hadn't considered the deplorable things he'd done in the service of Lord Voldemort, both before and during his time as a double agent.

"I like a good sense of fear in them, keeps them from thinking I'm their friend. No lemon drops in my office."

"Am I your friend, or would you rather I have a healthy sense of fear as well." Now her entire foot was in the deep-end, beckoning for the rest of her leg and perhaps her entire body. He looked rather shocked at her words, like he didn't know how to respond, so she thought she might backtrack, scribble a few more words and check the potion again. It abruptly hit her that he was the one who'd kissed her, he was the one who had initiated contact; so instead of busying herself, she stared him down. He deserved to feel a little intensity from her, having taken liberties with her without a real understanding between them.

Before he answered, he was out of his seat pacing, walking to the potions and checking on them for a moment, before walking to stand behind her, his hands on the back of her chair, peering over he shoulder to read her notes.

"I believe everyone should have a healthy fear of me, even you, no, especially you." His hand descended upon hers, taking the quill from hers and writing directly below hers his own notes regarding the snails, basil, and toad spleens, something she'd added to her new potion.

"Well, I don't and I probably never will. You know I've faced men and even women more evil than you, right?" She turned her arm and removed the glamour from the word 'mudblood' given by Bellatrix Lestrange. She couldn't show him the scars given by the slicing spell cast by Antonin Dolohov, but if she could, she would've. Snape had done terrible things, she knew this, but she'd killed and defended herself as well, and that truth kept her from being afraid of her headmaster. His eyes moved over the word, seeing it for the first time, and his eyes fell. He hadn't known the full force of her encounter with Bellatrix LeStrange.

"But if it makes you feel better, I'll tremble when you're near." She'd felt the tension building again, bordering on the morose once more, so she attempted to lighten the mood while also flirting with him. When she turned, he still writing on her notes as though she'd given him permission, his face was rather close to hers, and she could smell the pomade again, so musky. His face turned slightly to hers and she made herself tremble, and mimed how scared she was, making her bottom lip quiver as well. She wasn't quite sure it had worked, until he quickly dropped the quill and stalked back to the cauldrons. It was time to add the ingredients they'd chopped and then stir for a full thirty minutes.

"Wormswort, please." She commanded, slowly stirring as he poured the shredded wormswort into her cauldron, repeating the same in his and then they began stirring, a yawn catching her. Covering her mouth as she did, she continued to stir and found that he was watching her hands, each turn he repeated the same, matching her turn for turn. It was a pleasant feeling, having someone to brew with, even if it meant standing for many hours and having lower back pains the next morning.

"Okay, in one hour we have to add the remainder of the ingredients. I'll stew and chop the asphodel if you want a break." He didn't move, he simply stood and watched her put the asphodel in the third cauldron, stewing it for ten minutes and then taking them away from the heat, dividing them evenly on their copper chopping blocks and allowing them to cool.

"I wish I had appreciated how difficult this was to brew before I decided to champion this project. How did you do this for an entire year?"

"An entire year? I did it when Lupin wasn't employed here, as well. Though I wasn't brewing the frankenstein version and I could put the potion in stasis when I needed to sleep."

"You brewed it all those years? It's wonder he didn't learn to brew it himself."

"That would require a talent in potions, as you are aware, and he never did, whether in school or out...and before you say anything about my prejudices, it is a known fact. He did not continue to NEWT level potions." Hermione noted that he didn't sound quite as flippant as he normally would've about Remus Lupin or any of the Marauders for that matter, but he still seemed annoyed. Perhaps people didn't give him enough credit for all the things he'd done throughout his time as a spy and professor at Hogwarts, though he did receive and Order of Merlin, most people had no idea what he'd sacrificed for it, aside from Hermione, Harry, and Ron. The others who knew were dead.

"He may not be able to thank you now, but I am sure he was grateful." He simply nodded and continued to stir. Their conversation was done for the time being; he didn't say another word for hours, simply sat at the table and read through mail, letters upon letter from parents or the Board of Governor's, letters from Shacklebolt and other Ministry officials. For her time, she wrote to Harry and Ginny, reminding them to meet her in Hogsmeade to exchange the potion, she also congratulated them on the pregnancy, though she'd already told Harry. She also wrote to Ron, trying to mend the rift between them and resolve their difficulties, though she didn't know if he would ever be willing to make amends. Lastly, she wrote to a fellow potions professor at Beauxbatons regarding the exchange of some sixth year student portfolios and trials to see to challenge them for NEWT level potions. Without thinking, she propped her feet on the chair next to her, her dress falling to her thigh as she did, but she focused only on her writing, her quill teasing her lips again she wrote in fluent french, often reading certain phrases aloud as she did, to make sure her french was still accurate.

"Do you speak french?" She asked randomly as she finished the next paragraph, crossing and uncrossing her legs as she did.

"Not as well as you do, I imagine." He replied sarcastically, eyeing her over his parchment, reading his last letter from Shacklebolt and took in the entire scene, his time be dripping with sarcasm. She was slouched in her chair, her parchment taut as she wrote, one hand resting across her stomach and the other holding her quill, often between her lips as she readied herself for the next sentence and then her legs, crossed at the ankles her dress hem hitched to her mid thigh, if he'd bent only slightly, he might've been able to see her underwear. He could certainly see the full length of her muscles, the tightness of her calves as she pointed her toes. Was she trying to unhinge him?

She noticed him looking at her legs as she wrote, so she decided to uncross them for a moment, almost raising one before she recrossed them, knowing that he couldn't see her underwear due to the charm of the hem of her dress staying exactly mid-thigh, but she enjoyed the sharp inhale of breath as she did, forcing herself to keep a stone face, mimicking her typical thinking face as she did. When she couldn't stand to torture him a moment longer, she pulled her legs to her and stood, checking in the potions once more and watching it brew, already emitting the odd smell it always did, a mix between a wet dog and blood.

"Foul." She whispered, returning to her notes and writing about the color and smell, noting that Snape now admiring her writing again.

"Urgent message from the Ministry, Headmaster." Professor Sinistra had knocked on the door, but when neither acknowledged her, both trapped in their flirtations, she burst through.

"Thank you, Aurora. I will return." With that he turned on his heel and walked quickly, leaving his letters and correspondence on the table. She manned the two cauldrons, rather bored now that she wasn't trying to distract him. Turning the alarm on her charmed watch to remind her to stir the potion at exactly four am, she returned to her letters. Upon finishing those, she fetched a couple books from her study and called for Winky to bring more coffee and tea, thinking that perhaps when Snape returned, he would also need something to keep him awake. Before drinking too much tea, she asked Winky to stay until she returned from the loo, and when she returned the potions were normal and her tea perfect for consumption.

When it hit three am and Snape had not returned, Hermione began to worry that she might not make it through the morning to their last stirring, heating, and bottling, so she whipped up another potion for clearness of mind and alertness; it was one of her own creation, though she hadn't named it yet. As she finished and her clock reminded her to stir the potions, she felt a sudden surge of energy, and acute awareness of her lab, her life, and everything that had happened since she'd turned Ron down and moved to Hogwarts. Trying to read her book, she returned to her chair, but she found that she could barely sit still, so she walked and read, circles after circles in the lab, far away from the table where the potions were brewing, a charmed phonograph played her favorite classical tunes as she continued to move. She was so attuned her to book that she didn't hear Snape return nor see him check the potions and then watch her practically dancing around the room, his letters in a huge pile undisturbed. He wanted to ask her if she'd read them, he had been gone for hours and she must've been curious, but she was so lovely, spinning around the room, reading something he couldn't quite see, and murmuring to herself, the full range of emotions displayed on her face as she did. Finally, when she almost bumped into him, she looked up, a smile so wide on her face he took a step back, unable to handle how happy she was to see him.

"We're not in danger, are we?" Hermione asked, returning to her book and walking around their table.

"No, simply a misunderstanding about some singers we have coming for enrichment for the sixth and seventh years. Apparently the minister in the Czech Republic doesn't want his singers traveling here if I cannot maintain their security, which we have discussed upwards of twelve times. Shacklebolt is assigning aurors to them while they travel and while they're here."

"Oh, that sounds lovely, when are they to be here?" She stopped, put a marker in her book and walked over to him, as close as she normally sat at the staff table in the Great Hall, rather close for normal conversation.

"February, near St. Valentine's Day. We received some money for an enrichment grant, much like the one we received your third year, music programs and opera, acting, etc. We don't have much in the way of the arts here." Hermione practically jumped as he spoke, so excited about bringing more culture to Hogwarts she could barely contain her ideas.

"Brilliant! The students will love it and so many who are interested in the arts will find themselves swept away. What are they to perform?"

"Selections from Dante: the Inferno, Purgatorio, and Paradiso. Your illustrious former head of house, Minerva, found them for me before her retirement, so I've been trying to get them here for three years." He paused as she continued to bounce, her behavior making him think she was giddy.

"Are you drugged?" He finally asked, noting her extremely odd behavior; sure she'd always been rather exuberant and headstrong, rather eager to please.

"No, of course not, I brewed a potion, do you want some, I made enough for both of us. It's an alertness and concentration potion I invented." She flew to the beaker and brought it to him, her hands placing it in his, still surrounding his as he stood there gaping at her.

"If this is the intended result, I do not wish to ingest this potion, professor."

"Hermione. And it's wonderful, I know I won't be drowsy now. I was worried when you didn't return that I may fall asleep because I was so lost in my thoughts, but now everything is so clear." She still hadn't convinced him, but her lingering hand felt pleasant and he didn't want to disappoint her.

"I promise it will not do this to you, I always have this reaction but Harry and Ron never do, they simply become extremely focused on a task. For some reason, it makes me insanely happy." Finally letting go of his hand, she went back to her book and sat down for a moment, ready to read a few more chapters before her next alarm to adjust the temps to a much higher heat.

"You can tell no one the consequences of this potion, Hermione. Do you understand?"

"Perfectly, all your secrets are safe with me." He swallowed it all in one fell swoop and sat across from her, putting his letters in a neat pile and then sending them to his office through a house elf he didn't recall. The potion hit him in waves, each wave like a shot of espresso. Everything came into focus, every sound, every smell. She smelled like lavender and bergamot, like his childhood in Cokeworth running through the lavender with Lily and Petunia, like his mother. It almost made him weep.

"Have you read this before? It's The Return of the Native by Thomas Hardy." Snape shook his head, so she read him a paragraph, she'd always loved Hardy.

"I don't know how much time you have for novels, but his are particularly good. There is always a moral message, or immoral really in the case of Tess of D'Ubervilles and Jude the Obscure. But you seem like a tragic hero just like this characters, I think. Was that rude? I'm sorry." His eyes traveled across her, the way she leaned on the table for a moment, then back into her chair, resting her head against the back, but curling her legs over the armrest, her shoes removed.

"It wasn't rude. You can read more if you'd like, I'm sure I've more letters I should write." So they continued, Hermione reading Hardy to him as he wrote, except he wasn't simply writing letters to required people, he was writing her a letter, confessing how much he admired her, her tenacity and optimism, her belief in him, and the fineness of her body. The potion made him so hyperaware of everything, he could even hear her swallow as she breathed between sentences, her tongue hitting her teeth or the roof of her mouth as she enunciated words, he wanted to sit directly next to her as she read, so he did. He folded his letter to her and placed it neatly in his pocket before sliding his chair over, and sitting beside her, though the way she was sitting, he was peering over her shoulder to see the text. Eventually, she reached for his hand for a moment.

"I want to check your pulse so I know I haven't killed you, you're so quiet." But she didn't let go, he simply shifted so it didn't hurt his muscles to drape his arm over the armrest and into her hand. He was holding her left hand, the one that had been on her stomach and it felt simply wonderful to hear the softness of her speech, to watch her imaging the story in her brain, and to hold her hand for a moment. It was the first time she had initiated prolonged contact.

"Drats, that's my alarm." She jumped up quickly, setting the book down and rushed to the potions. She increased the heat and stirred with Snape for a further thirty minutes. Each turn around the cauldron rang in his ears.

"Did Potter and Weasley ever comment that your potion causes them hyperawareness, such as increased hearing and vision?" She didn't pause, but she looked to him; he could hear her eyelashes meet as she blinked.

"Not that I can recall, but it does create different results for everyone I've given it to. I can make an antidote if it is bothersome."

Waving her away, he replied, "It's actually quite nice, with the nerve damage I have found my senses compromised, this is a welcome change." She beamed at him, almost jumping at him again, wanting out of nowhere to kiss him.

"As long as you can't read my mind." Giggling, she stirred a further ten more times and met his gaze again.

"And why would that be, may I inquire?"

"Oh, well, you'd probably find some pretty interesting things in this noggin, the least of which…" But she stopped, she was thinking of his kiss, his fingers in hair, trailing down her neck.

"Now you intrigue me, Hermione. What could you possibly be thinking about?" She blushed, she was now thinking about unbuttoning his shirt, taking him on the table behind him and forgetting all about the potion they'd been brewing.

"It's a good thing for me your intrigue stops here, sadly I will not divulge my thoughts because I am sure I have already convinced you how silly a woman I am, and that's enough embarrassment for one evening, well morning." Her steps to the chair rang in his ear, his intrigue did not end. Could she possibly want him too?

"If not Hardy, have you read Dickens? Collins? Didn't you attend muggle school before coming to Hogwarts?"

"It wasn't a very good one, though you wouldn't know it by Petunia, she made it seem like we were at a resort and not a school. She was bloody awful. And yes, I have read Dickens and Collins, both of which were wizards, you know." He followed her back to the chair, but as he sat, he noticed she had never re-glamoured her scarred 'mudblood' and it made him increasingly guilty. Seeing his distress, she saw his eyes turn to her arm so she pulled his over her shoulder so he couldn't see it and she could hold him again. This time, he rested his head on her chair as she read, smelling her hair which smelled remarkably like his, and he tried to capture the moment in his memory. He imagined what life would be like if every night he came home to her in his study, curled up with a book or working on a potion, to sit next to her and feel her near. Her voice whirled through his ears, making his heart leap with each syllable. Her desire to hold his arm, to place it so near her breasts, almost curling it around her neck made him feel, without a doubt, that she returned his affections. Her potion had made him vulnerable and less reluctant to keep his distance, and it scared him.

"Eustacia cannot be happy about his hearth, his home. He's such a good man, and she's pitiful." She'd paused, annoyed with the book.

"And you, you would be happy in a cottage like this?"

"It's not even a question. A happy home, cozy, and land for planting. Who wouldn't be happy with that life? As long as there's a room for brewing and a study, I could live anywhere, especially with someone I truly loved." His fingers teased her collarbone as she spoke.

"Well you are not most people, that's for sure. You'll find, especially in our world, that status is more important than being happy with someone you love."

"That life sounds a pretty terrible existence to me, and why I couldn't marry Ron, he wanted that life and was not content with what we would have, which is the least of the reasons marrying him would've been a mistake. But, I'm talking too much again." His fingers stopped and he turned her chin to face him.

"You made the right decision."

"I hope so, his family certainly doesn't think so, aside from his sister. Even Harry told me it was a worthless cause, all we ever did was fight. I'm so judgmental and bossy sometimes, and he has so much to prove." He could kiss her if he just leaned down, she looked so kissable in that moment, but he didn't. He let go of her chin and placed his arm where she'd put it.

"Thank you, even if you don't mean it. It's kind of you to entertain my problems when they aren't yours and are so small."

"They aren't small to you, and as a member of my staff, I don't want you to feel you cannot speak with me." 'A member of his staff, he's two fingers away from my breasts and he remarks about being a member of his staff?' She thought, perhaps she would have to be the one to admit her feelings, since his stolen moments were amounting to nothing except confusion.

"Well, that's quite reassuring, I'm thankful as a member of your staff I can come to you regarding my trouble with other wizards." It almost made her laugh, to tease him, instead she returned to her book, greedily reading to herself.

"I didn't mean that you can only come to me because I am headmaster, I meant...blast." He let her go, and went to the potions, he couldn't take being that close to her and not being to say what he needed to. Feeling as though she pushed him too far, Hermione joined him at the cauldrons, adjusting the heat as the sun would've risen outside.

"I'm being foolish, sir, I should know better." Her voice didn't make it better, him trying to ignore that she was even in the room.

"You, alone, are not being foolish." Those words pushed her over the edge, she placed a hand on his and finally said what she wanted to since it first happened.

"Why haven't you kissed me again, Severus?" Bold and brave, Hermione pulled him away from the cauldrons, keeping his hands in hers and making it virtually impossible for him to stalk away, brooding to his chair or even his quarters.

"It was exquisite. Did you think I'd forgotten how you pushed my hair aside, right here, and your fingers, here." She pulled his hand up, placing his fingers in her hair and behind her ear. He was speechless, his own breathing echoing in his head, like a clock ticking between his heart and lungs, her touch sending his senses into overdrive.

"I've wanted to kiss you again, but as I stole the last one, I thought it pertinent not to steal another." She took that as her cue and stood to place her lips on his, his hand still on her neck and her around his, before realizing she instead wanted them at his waist, pulling him closer.

"You need never steal kisses from me; I will give them freely." She whispered into his mouth, continuing to kiss him, her tongue playing against his, his teeth softly nibbling her lower lip.

"Is this what you were afraid I would see if I looked into your mind?" Severus asked, his hands traveling her sides and then back to her neck, the base of her hair.

"No, it was far more depraved than this." She gave him one more kiss, deepening as she stood, and then broke away from him to sit in her chair, returning to her book. If he wanted to tease at his leisure, she would return the favor. When he finally came to join her, she took the seat next to her and this time put his hand under her arm, at her waist, resting his head on hers as she read.

When the potions were finally finished, they walked in a comfortable closeness to the hallway of their quarters. She wondered who would make the next move and if it was her, what would she do? Did it mean that they were both open to something more or was this simply a flirtation?

"Have a good rest, Headmaster."

"I doubt I'll sleep until your bloody potion wears off, though perhaps you could brew me more, a tinge weaker."

"Nope, it's full recipe or none, no inbetweens, wimp." Pushing him towards his door, she walked backwards for a moment and grinned at him, turning finally and going down the hallway to her quarters, finally collapsing on her bed and wishing she had kissed him one more time.


	4. Chapter 4

**AN: I own nothing you recognize! Wee bit o' angst towards the end of this chapter.**

 **Chapter 4**

Hermione managed to sleep eventually, but only for a few hours before making sure to go over her notes and find time to read a few journal articles on potions, reminding herself that she could only feasibly do one project at a time. At odd moments, she was reminded of her behavior with Snape the night and early moming; it embarrassed her but also made her excited. It was something she never thought would happen while she was at Hogwarts and with someone so unexpected. Respect and general kindness had always been afforded towards Snape, but she'd never looked at him in the way she did presently; moony and starstruck, like she was meeting a celebrity she'd seen on BBC.

At dinner that night, she popped down to the Great Hall to have a light meal and then return for more research, bringing her journal with her in case she remembered anything as she ate; ideas or theories often came to her when she least expected it. There were fewer children and professors than normal that evening, so it was quiet and calm, the ones who were there generally kept to themselves or talked in small conversation with their neighbors. She hadn't expected Snape to be there, he seemed far more tired than she when they'd left her lab, but he strolled in ten minutes after she did and took the seat next to her. Scribbling in her journal, she didn't notice him at first, only the rush of air as his robes deposited in the seat and the scrape of his knife against the beef roast and potatoes on his plate. That brought her back to the Great Hall and to his sideways look, reading her notes, as a lefthander it was quite easy for him to read everything she was writing. When she finally finished her paragraph, she tucked her quill and ink neatly into her bag but left her journal out and flipped through the pages.

"How did you possibly fill that notebook since we left your lab?" He asked, taking it for a moment and scanning the pages, each one full of her perfect handwriting, but none of his.

"That's not the one I had earlier, I also finished that one out. I started this one when I woke up from my nap. You know, sometimes I don't even know how much I've written until I'm on the last page; probably drivel, but at least I have some record of all the time I've spent theorizing." Aghast, he put the journal back where she'd had it and continued staring at her.

"Does your brain ever stop?"

"Frighteningly, I don't think so.I thought I'd get a proper nap, but I just couldn't. Probably better, though, so I don't stay up all night and miss my first years tomorrow." Her beef roast was so tender she didn't need a knife; she'd really missed the food at Hogwarts, always so delicious.

"That would be a pity." His sarcasm forced a laugh from her and a little snort, making him grin for a moment. She was thankful it didn't seem awkward or forced, to be around him after being a brazen as she felt she'd been. When she filled her pumpkin juice again, she immediately filled his without asking.

"I'm sorry, I didn't even ask."

"It's quite fine, thank you." Taking his cup, he clinked it against hers and they locked eyes, both sipping at the same time. Time was frozen again; she could drown in his dark eyes, the slight upturn of his mouth, the seriousness of his brow. And then she felt his knee brush hers, subtly and most likely unintentional, but he didn't move it, letting it rest against hers. They didn't talk much for the rest of the meal, but sat in happy solitude and ate their meal. When she was finished, she put her hand on his knee for a moment and said goodnight, pushing back from the table and taking her bag and journal, so thankful for the weekend.

OoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooO

The remainder of the week saw much the same in their habits, still sitting next to each other at meals and at their weekly staff meeting, flirtation and anticipation in each meeting, but no more kisses or close contact aside from the graze of a hand or leg, which still made each meeting far more bearable. She met Ginny and Harry in Hogsmeade on Wednesday, which was a pleasant diversion from her obsessions with Snape. They shared that the baby was fine and growing normally, and that pleased her greatly. When Harry went to the bathroom, Ginny turned from listening to a conversation about quidditch by two drunk wizards to Hermione.

"Spill it." She said frankly, causing Hermione to spit her drink.

"What?"

"You can't hide anything from me, you know. We're practically sisters. Who is he?" Ginny ate a chip and swallowed her butterbeer, eyeing Hermione the entire time.

"It's nothing, I'm just glad this potion is finished and Teddy will feel better this month."

"Please! We have about thirty seconds before my husband returns, tell me." Hermione could barely contain herself, wanting to tell someone so badly.

"You are going to be shocked, but it's um...um...Snape. It's nothing though, just some flirtation and perhaps some kissing." It was Ginny's turn to spew forth butterbear, grinning madly as she did.

"I knew it! Harry said something about seeing you two together, nothing untoward of course, but...wow! That makes sense, I guess." Hermione felt silly, talking about it as though they had an understanding or even as though she knew how he felt.

"It's nothing, like I said, just a crush. Please don't tell Harry, not until I know it's more. I'd hate for everyone to know and then Severus to think I've gossiped about him."

"Severus, wow...of course I won't tell Harry. Ron will be so pissed." Hermione's face fell, she hadn't considered Ron much at all and didn't want to.

"You ladies look deep in discussion, anything new Hermione?" Harry said, joining them again at the table.

"Nothing besides the potion." Grinning at Ginny, they finished and said their goodbyes.

"Floo me immediately if you need me, I have more regular wolfsbane for him if something with this potion should go awry." Hugging them both and giving them each a kiss on the cheek, she started the walk back to Hogwarts, snow crunching once more beneath her feet. Christmas would arrive so quickly and with it her awkward sojourn to Grimmauld place. She wondered if perhaps she should stay at Hogwarts this year, avoid drama with the Weasleys and give Snape company as she knew he didn't leave for holidays, but then she wondered if she ought to, knowing he most likely enjoyed the solitude of the school without so much commotion. Lost in thought, she didn't see him at the door as she walked through, watching her arrive from another evening meeting in Hogsmeade.

"You appear unharmed." The bass of his voice broke her thoughts, forcing her to meet his eye and smile.

"Harry didn't hex me, nor Ginny. They sent their hellos and thank yous." He followed her to the hallway of their quarters, turning on the evening torches as he did, his wand movements succinct.

"Yes, Potter sent me an owl preemptively. I merely stirred and prepared."

"Stop, that's not true. I couldn't have done it without you, you are the potions master, not me." She'd placed her arm on his, forcing him to stop and look at her, full sincerity on her face.

"Have you considered become a potions mistress?" He asked, keenly interested in whether he might be able to keep her at Hogwarts for more than six more months.

"Not recently, I'd put that thought on hold to work on the wolfsbane and write. Do you think I could really pursue that?" Resuming their walk, Hermione pulled her hand back, though reluctantly, more afraid of castle gossip that Snape pushing her away.

"You act as though your skills are lacking in some way."

"Well, honestly, sir, until I came back here, I wasn't encouraged in potions, so I find that often I am unsure that what I am doing is correct." She hadn't meant it to insult him, only to remind him that whilst she'd been his student, he'd been a spy and cruel, unable to reward any Gryffindor for good or even excellent work. At her door, after some time had passed, she took down her wards and put her wand back in her robes.

"You do often seek approval, I will not disagree that there was a time when I would've rather called on Longbottom instead of you; you practically a walking textbook." Now she felt slightly insulted and it must've shown on her face because he placed a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Don't take my words as an insult, I merely mean your theory has caught up your knowledge, you have admirable skills in many subjects, and if you were to pursue a potions mistress program, I would support you."

"Thank you, Severus."Looking both ways down the hall, noting that the torches around her quarters he hadn't lit, nor at his own, she stepped up and kissed him lightly, hugging him quickly, though tightly and went into her rooms. She slid against the door and pulled her legs to her chest as she finally exhaled, her heart fluttering madly.

He stood at her door for another moment and walked to his rooms, the taste of her still on his mouth. She'd kissed him again without hesitation; an obvious sign that her feelings were as genuine as his own. It was confusing for him, what would a woman like Hermione Granger want in a cranky ex-death eater and often curmudgeonly man?

OooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooO

As Christmas approached, Hermione noted that Severus had seemed a bit more distant than he'd been, but knew it was a difficult time of year, the Hogwarts express leaving and students staying and going having to be accounted for. She decided to keep her distance as well, perhaps she'd pushed him too hard or invaded his personal space in a way that made him uncomfortable. He hadn't changed his behavior in the Great Hall or at staff meetings, still resting his leg gently against hers or sometimes resting his hand rather closely to hers, making sure to sit on her right so their free hands would mingle every so often, and that made Hermione confused. He didn't go out of his way to be rude to her, but he was unable to help her brew the new wolfsbane, which had been successful for Teddy. Now she needed twice the batch for Teddy and Bill Weasley. A last minute meeting with the Governor's concerning some structural issues with the Astronomy Tower pulled him away, so she asked a few seventh year students to help her in rotations, all going to bed at curfew and finding her again early on Sunday before they left the following day for Christmas holidays. When she'd poured the potions into vials and put stoppers in them, she placed them on her shelf and then cleaned the cutting boards, her cauldrons, and gathered all of her notes and her journal, walking like a zombie to her quarters. It had been so much better with Severus.

An hour after finally showering and settling in, Hermione wrote a few things at her desk, in soft pajamas and her night robe, she didn't plan on going to the Great Hall for her evening meal. She heard a light knock on her door, so she tied her robe and decided her hair wasn't worth the effort, having spent most of the night in humid duress, it was as large as it had ever been. Opening the door, she found Severus looking oddly at her.

"May I help you?" She asked, deciding perhaps her hair was looking rather ragged, so she pulled in into a ponytail.

"I wanted to make sure nothing happened while brewing, Misses Stern and Brock looked rather tired at lunch." His hand was on the door jam, the other in his pocket and for a moment he looked like a muggle, if she squinted.

"They were excellent help. I sent them to bed at nine and they returned at six, and they were awarded house points." She couldn't tell if he was concerned for their welfare or merely curious about the brewing itself.

"And nothing happened?"

"Nothing abnormal happened, except they saw me positively giddy this morning because I almost fell asleep twice and was forced to take my unnamed potion. Brandy couldn't stop laughing at me." He remembered how silly she'd been and the light twitch of his lip almost formed a smile.

"Would you like to come in? Or are you finished?" She thought he looked rather uncomfortable standing there, in her doorway, though students would rarely be on their hall, two other professors had quarters near them. He didn't say anything, simply walked through.

"I rather expected this room to look far more garishly red and yellow." The subtle lilac around the room and deep royal purple of her sitting chair complimented each other nicely, and seemed more her style.

"My own house, remember?" He raised his eyebrow and sat on her sofa, it was leather and brown, cold against his touch as he ran his hand over the armrest. Hermione had nowhere else to sit, aside from her desk, so she joined him on the sofa, but her back against the other armrest and her leg curled toward her chin. He thought she looked quite like a seventh year herself, and it made him feel improper. He didn't even know if the headmaster of the school was permitted to date staff.

"You know, I've been thinking about Teddy Lupin, and I don't think his issues are related to Remus having been a werewolf as much as Tonks being a metamorphmagus. I think he needs to see someone at St. Mungos."

"What has led you to this conclusion?" He asked, turning slightly to face her, crossing his legs broadly as he did, crossing his arms at his chest as per normal.

"Well, when he was born he had blue hair, everyone thought for sure he would take after Tonks, but when they died, he became completely normal. About a year ago, he started having issues around the full moon, we thought at least, and so Harry was concerned he might become a werewolf, but since I've been working with him for five months, I've noticed that he doesn't have any traditional markers and should have already transitioned...it's as though his metamorphmagus nature it manifesting as a werewolf right now." Snape rubbed temple, taking in her words and thinking to what he knew about Tonks and Lupin, their odd marriage and coupling probably making the poor child quite complicated.

"Interesting theory, but what of your potion? If he is a metamorphmagus, he shouldn't be experiencing any relief from the potion or an altered state."

"True, I think, perhaps because he thinks it is, it is. It's psychosomatic. Which means, unless Bill Weasley shows some improvement, all of my research is wasted." She bit her lip and rested her leg beneath the other, her robe untying a little as she did. Her pajamas were plaid and completely old lady, but the action made him look at her, really look at her.

"If that is the case, we will just find you other participants. All of Greyback's victims are on a registry and I know Shacklebolt would love to see them subdued."

"They were who I started this for, and family of course. My office dealt with them frequently and even though I tried, he pushed me back every time. It was the main reason I quit, actually, that and the bloody paperwork. Shacklebolt can get bent." She immediately brought her hand to her mouth, but couldn't contain her giggle at the look on Snape's face, his arms relaxing. As if on cue, Winky arrived with tea and her dinner.

"You've eaten, right?" He nodded, she didn't want to eat alone.

"But I didn't get pudding, if you don't mind, Winky." The little elf disappeared and reappeared so quickly Hermione hardly had time to blink. Transfiguring her desk into a table, she lifted it with her wand over to them and moved her chair, allowing Snape to sit on the comfy sofa.

"I'm so glad it's chicken divan night, I missed this so much." She tucked right into her food, trying to pace herself, though she was famished from working all night. Yawns took her many times, making her eyes water slightly.

"I admit that the elves cook better than anyone I know, though sometimes I tire of them popping in to check on me. Apparently Albus and Minerva liked that, but I do not."

"Me either, Winky only knows she can come if I've left the light on in the loo. Otherwise, I do not want to be disturbed." He looked to the washroom and saw the light was still on.

"So she can take the dishes when we're done." Hermione said, reading his mind.

"Clever." Another compliment. Hermione positively radiated happiness as she sipped her Earl Grey tea and finished her dinner, looking at the bread pudding and deciding she had nowhere to put it.

"Do you want a double serving? I don't think I can eat another bite." He took it easily from her and dug in. Before coming back, she wouldn't have imagined Snape a pudding man, but he looked as happy as she did. Sipping her tea, she suddenly felt his ankle at hers, his boots rather hard against her soft feet. The idea had been lovely, but the tough leather felt cold touching her socks, so she shifted his pant leg and found his own socks, wool like hers and felt far more comfortable.

"Are you staying for Christmas?" He asked, finishing the pudding and wiping his mouth.

"I haven't decided. I know I'll go to Harry's party, but being at Grimmauld Place for an extended time will most likely be awkward."

"Mr. Weasley?" She nodded in agreement.

"He can be rather stubborn and I don't want him to see it as some sort of open door." She couldn't read his face.

"Losing out on family because of one bad egg doesn't seem fair." She reminded herself he had no family and his friends, aside from her and loosely Harry and Draco Malfoy, were all dead.

"Molly Weasley would rather set me on fire than see me at her table right now. No, I'm not losing family, they just don't care for me much right now. Harry and Ginny would love to have me, but I think this year being here might do me more good than staying in my old room at Grimmauld Place and wondering if Ron is going to try and corner me." He waxed possessive or jealous, she couldn't tell which, but only for a moment until his face returned to normal.

"Besides, I don't want you to be alone." Her hand found his across the table, forcing a little jolt from him.

"I won't be alone, I'll have a hundred students and I think ten staff, eleven staff. Sinistra has decided to leave on the 28th, so I will come to Harry's party." Did he not want her around? Perhaps she'd misread him once again.

"Good, I won't worry about you then, depressed and moping around the halls with no one to talk to." Her voice was playful, but she pulled her hand away and sipped her tea, warming it again with her finger and stirring it with the same finger.

"I did not say I would not be pleased if you stayed, I simply meant you shouldn't concern yourself with my 'depressed moping', as it were." This did nothing to alleviate her concerns. He had come to her rooms, he had pressed his foot to hers and even complimented her. What kind of game was he playing?

"Then I won't." She snapped for Winky, who quickly cleared the table, allowing Hermione to turn it into her desk, moved it back to the faux window, as well as her chair, taking a book from her shelf and going back to her sofa, crossing her legs towards him and reading from Persuasion, by Jane Austen. Of all her works, she felt that she most identified with it and especially Anne, whom everyone expected to fix everything yet no one considered.

"What is this one about?"

"A young woman who rejects a suitor based on her family's pride and then finds him after eight years, rather angry and cruel to her at first, but they eventually find each other again. She is the middle daughter, expected to do everything when no one thinks of her, ever, unless they need something. It's Jane Austen's last work, rather unpolished but brilliant."

"Sounds romantic." He admitted, watching her eyes bore over the pages. She heard the sneer in his voice, but she didn't care, it was a lovely book.

"It is romantic in the sense that it is optimistic, that's probably why I love it so much. You don't know she will end up with her love until the very end, and there are so many fine passages." That look; he loved that look on her face the most. The one where her eyes were rather large and sparkling and her mouth wide in a smile.

"Come over here and let me pretend I'm not reading it over your shoulder." She flipped back to the first page and hesitated only a second before scooting over to him, practically on his lap and leaning against his shoulder, his arms behind her as she did. The longer she sat that way, the more she realized it would be more comfortable if he shifted and allowed her to place her head on the armrest and throw pillow, so she moved again, laying across his lap, his arm moving her ponytail slightly so he could see the text. At some point, his hands found their way into her hair and one at her hip, his thumb rubbing gently across her robe. She never wanted to finish the book.

"So this Lady Russell, she'd really the one who talked Anne out of marrying Captain Wentworth and throughout is always trying to set her up with appropriate suitors. It's clear she loves Anne and has her best interests at heart, but I normally hate her the whole way through." Hermione put her thumb in the book and looked up to him, her eyes glazed and sleepy as they'd been during dinner, but she didn't want him to leave.

"It's not bad, for what it is." As much compliment she would receive on the book. He took the book and charmed the page to remember where they'd left off and brought his face to hers, finding her lips just as soft and sweet as they'd been before. Hermione turned onto her back and put her arms around his neck, their kiss deepening more than it had ever previously, making her wonder if this meant he did want more with her. When he pulled away, she opened her eyes and saw a man she wish she saw more, one free of the weight of his existence, craving her.

"You need sleep and I am keeping you." He whispered against her lips as she ran her thumb across his jawline, reaching up to kiss kim on the trail she'd made, almost unnerving him with each soft kiss. He felt like a teenager, making out on the couch, waiting for someone to walk in and catch them.

"You're right, but this is so much better than sleep. I've missed you this close." She finally replied, leaning back against the pillow, her lips swollen from his attentions.

"I have as well."

"You can't stop me from worrying about you, even if you didn't care for me, I would still worry." Her hand tucked a bit of his hair behind his ear as she searched his eyes, hoping to find contentment or even happiness in them. But he was shielded, his eyes bore into hers like coals of a fire and she thought she saw lust.

"I am not accustomed to someone showing concern for my well-being, aside from Minerva and I certainly didn't spend a Sunday evening eating, reading, and sniffing her on a sofa." Hermione laughed against him, her breasts jiggling below his chest, making him kiss her again.

"Can I schedule a Sunday like this again? Perhaps when I haven't brewed all night?" Tentatively she asked, moving into new territory, the sort of 'what are we' territory without having to actually ask the question.

"I believe that can be arranged." Pulling her against him, he traced circles on her shoulder blades and kissed her neck, causing her to almost whimper against him.

"You're going to get yourself in trouble, there." She moaned, forcing him to face her.

"I'll remember that one." She leaned up and off of him, knowing that he was ready to leave by his tone. Standing to hug him, she encircled her arms at his waist and held him so tight his found it difficult to breath.

"I'm not going to dissolve, you know."

"I take no chances, Severus." Her last kiss seemed desperate, for him to come back, to not distance himself again, to admit to her that he cared for her.

"Goodnight, Severus.

"Goodnight, Hermione." And he was out the door, her heart as light and fluttering as it had been the night she'd come back from meeting Harry and Ginny. The smile she wore did not fade as she slept.


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note: I own nothing you recognize. I updated a small part concerning Hermione's parents and their deaths. This was for a plot event much later in the story. Thank you for all the reviews!

Chapter 5

"Snape's here and with wine!" George yelled, opening the door. Grimmauld Place was decorated to the hilt with Christmas garb, so very muggle. He searched the rooms for Hermione, but didn't see her or Potter, though Longbottom and his fiancee and all the Weasley's were present, thankfully sans their young children, and just when he wished he hadn't decided to come, he saw Kingsley Shacklebolt walk into the room with a rather large Christmas cracker in his hand. After years of dealing with Dumbledore's crackers, he didn't want to have another go at it. He immediately made a beeline to the dining room and saw Ginny Potter and her mother helping put out the spread and the only child he'd seen so far, Teddy Lupin, raced into the room and out before he could say hello. He uncorked his wine and let it breath in the kitchen, this home as familiar as his own, perhaps slightly more. Finally, he felt her hand at his lower back.

"Happy Christmas." She said, giving him a side hug. He poured her wine as well and offered it to her.

"Happy Christmas." They clinked glasses.

"Miss me?" She asked, having been gone for four days.

"Not at all, in fact there is something so wonderful about a quiet room free of scratching quills and light humming." She rolled her eyes and poked his chest. She would've replied but Ginny and Ron walked in, arguing about the Chudley Cannons and the Irish, forcing Hermione to sincerely roll her eyes.

"Ron, you are pigheaded and you know it. Stop arguing with me, I do this for a living." Ron stopped and saw Snape and Hermione at the counter, sharing a glass of wine.

"Ginny, are you telling everyone tonight?" Hermione asked, trying to break the odd modd.

"Yes, though I think most everyone knows now because of someone." Ginny smacked Ron and he walked out. Hermione hadn't seen him the entire time she'd been at Grimmauld Place, which had made her feel incredibly pleased.

"Hermione, can you help me with these?" Ginny called out, Hermione put her drink down and went to her, seeing the trays of cookies and pastries, all of which looked so incredibly delectable.

"So, how are things with him?" She'd wanted to gossip, having been working the entire time Hermione was at their home.

"Odd, we've certainly gotten closer, but we still haven't had any sort of discussion about what we are and I normally wouldn't care...except he's my boss and he's so secretive and complex." They watched him walk into the living room where most everyone had gathered, drinking liberally and catching up.

"Perhaps he is unsure of what he wants, I mean he's always been secretive, you complicate his life." Hermione hadn't thought about it that way, that she was a liability, someone else he potentially lose. She decided to go back to get her wine and found Ron alone in the kitchen.

"Having fun?" He asked as she took her wine in hand.

"Yes, you?"

"As much as can be expected." Hermione, annoyed, drank her wine in one gulp and poured another, refusing to meet his eye. "It'd be much better if you'd said yes, we would've been married tomorrow."

"But, I didn't, Ron, and you need to move on. I have been your friend for too long for you to act this way every time we see each other." She could sense that he was angry but she didn't want another fight.

"So you've moved on, then?"

"Ron, I can move on if I want to and I want you to, as well. You would be so much happier if you did."Her voice had reached a level she normally wouldn't use inside, but he was pushing her and she couldn't help herself.

"So that's a yes, you've moved on." Hermione left the room, unable to continue the argument with him and ruin her Christmas, but he pursued, hot on her heels.

"I asked you a question." He yelled, putting his hand roughly on her shoulder, forcing her to spin and spilling her wine. She cast a scourgify and then pointed her wand at him.

"You!" It was all she could say as he stepped back, his face showing all the fear within him. Harry came over and lowered her wand.

"Ron, it's Christmas and we rarely see each other now, go say hello to Draco and Astoria, they've just come." He whimpered an apology at Hermione as he walked away, her blood still boiling.

"He has to find a girlfriend, please set him up." She talked away as well, to the garden to cool off before dinner was officially served. It was cold, but Harry had charmed the stones on the veranda to warm, so she took her shoes off and walked around, thinking about the Christmas before when things had been so different. She was unhappy with Ron, had been for years, and she hadn't wanted to hurt his feelings. She'd spent the majority of that Christmas party on the garden as well.

"You'll catch your death out here." She heard Molly say from the door.

"I'm sorry, Molly, about before." But Molly waved her off and motioned her over.

"It's alright dear, he's just sad, we all were because we thought you two were right for each other, but we were wrong. I see that now." She wrapped Hermione in a big hug and patted her back, much like Hermione's mother had when she was a child. They went back inside, everyone at the table transfigured to hold the large brood.

"Each year our table gets bigger and we couldn't be happier. Ginny and I would like to announce that next year, we'll have a baby Potter to add. Happy Christmas, everyone." They all clapped, Hagrid the loudest, and raised a glass to Ginny and Harry, both looking as pleased as punch. Hermione looked across the table to Snape and found his leg, touching it lightly with her foot. When his eyes met hers, he smiled, a genuine smile, one she'd only seen a few times. Would she ever have a love like Ginny and Harry? Could she have that with Severus Snape?

After dinner they exchanged gifts, sort of Secret Santa harry had instituted years before. Hermione had gotten Hagrid, which was easy, and found that Snape had gotten her. Once she'd exchanged with Hagrid, whom she'd given a new tie and pocket square, half-giant sized, and found that Snape had received his gift from Luna Lovegood Scamander, she walked over to him, and was presented with a plainly wrapped, but large box. As she peeled away the parchment paper, she found what looked like a small travel case, with an inscription: Hermione Granger, Potions Master. She tore the rest of the paper off and found inside a magical box, full of potions ingredient, books, and even a new cauldron. Hermione was at a loss for words, her eyes brimmed with tears, she'd never been given something so sentimental to her. Setting it on the table, she gave him a hug and thanked him several times, squeezing him tighter as she did. When she pulled away, she wanted nothing more than to kiss him so badly, but worried she would embarrass him in front of everyone.

"Now you have to pursue your potions Master qualifications or you've wasted my present." 'And you'll have to stay at Hogwarts.' He thought, still holding her around her waist.

"It's the best present I've ever been given, Severus, truly." She hugged him again, and then heard a loud crash behind her. Turning, Snape's arms still around her waist, Hermione saw Ron knock over the entire table of desserts, his eyes red with anger. Harry immediately cleaned up the table and Arthur ushered Ron out of the room, forcing Hermione to put her hand on Snape's chest, he'd been holding her for more than five minutes, far longer than she'd hugged Hagrid, but she didn't want him to let her go.

"He was rather cruel to me earlier, but this is ridiculous."

"His heart is troubled, any man's would be if he'd been turned down. But, you made the right choice, this scene is an indication of that." He hadn't let go yet, and soon others were staring at them as well.

"If he'd actually listened to me, he would've known ages ago, I tried to break up with him for five years. At least you would never let me blather on like an idiot if you were done with me." She'd sort of spoken it out loud, their whatever it was. They both sighed and he let go, his hand still resting on her lower back as she continued to explore the depths of her new potions suitcase, each bottle and book picked specifically by came over to see it and Hermione twittered on and on, explaining which ones she used for Teddy's potion.

"So thoughtful, Professor." Ginny winked at him and went back to Harry, her hand lightly rubbing her belly as she did.

"Why did Mrs. Potter wink at me?"

"Huh?" Hermione was still lost in the ever-growing levels of her box that she hadn't seen the exchange.

"Mrs. Potter winked at me."

"Oh, she knows I fancy you, I'm sure she is trying to be encouraging, she does that." He suddenly withdrew his hand, stepping back from her. Hermione noted the distance immediately and knew that Ginny or anyone else knowing had made him uncomfortable, but she wasn't about to chase him around and talk to him, if he wanted to stalk to another corner, she'd let him. It dawned on her this very private man was just as exposed as one might be at a party, her ex-boyfriend had caused a scene; she assumed that it all finally caught up to him in his mind that she was not an easy pick, that her friends and family were a package deal. Hermione refused to compromise on the family she'd built with the Potters and Weasleys, especially since her own parents had died in complicated circumstances, her mom dying after being hit by a car on her way to the market the first week they were from from Australia and her father, completely distraught about her role in the war and the loss of his wife, committed suicide. The devastation of losing both of her parents, after having tried to protect them from the war, weighed heavily on her for years, and still did.

"Draco, I haven't seen you all evening." Hermione said, wrapping him in a hug as he and Astoria came to look at her present.

"How's teaching? I hear some of my cousins actually enjoy your class." Always the cad, she smiled at Draco, year's smoothing the tension between them.

"I think I'll stick with it for a while, I have some things brewing, oh pun, sorry. I have some projects coming up. How's the Ministry?" They both looked to Shacklebolt and laughed, noting that he looked like a real king amongst his servants.

"It's a job." Snape had completely disappeared for the time being so she continued to mingle, knowing that he would eventually find her again and if he didn't, she'd talk to him back at Hogwarts.

She stayed downstairs and helped clean after taking her present up to her old room, changing from her dress into pajamas before descending the many flights back down to the first floor. Harry, Ginny, Ron, and his brothers all assisted, it was pretty fast with everyone helping. She felt a tinge of sadness when she realized Snape had left without saying goodbye. Was her admitting to Ginny that she liked him really that serious considered he'd held her against him for ages in front of everyone? Her mind continued to wander as she cleaned and then trudged back up the stairs. She'd return to Hogwarts at some point the next day and she wondered what she'd be returning to.

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After apparating to Hogsmeade, Hermione trudged through several feet of snow to the castle, only to find it relatively empty and so very quiet. When she made it to her quarters, she lowered her wards and stepped through, sad not to find Snape in there, waiting for her. He hadn't been at the gates or the castle doors either. It seemed rather silly to her now, that Ginny winking at him would send him off. She hadn't said she loved him, she said she fancied him. If kissing on her couch wasn't an indication of that, she didn't know what was.

At dinner, she went to the Great Hall and sat with the forty-five or so students who were still there, all enjoying a Boxing Day feast, Snape nowhere to be found. After dinner, she walked several students to Gryffindor tower who seemed rather tired and homesick, she saw them through the portrait and then made her way down to her quarters, taking a chance and knocking on his door, but he didn't answer. She resigned herself to let him find her when he was ready to talk, he'd craved distance before, but her heart hadn't been quite so set on him then. Crawling under her covers, she let herself cry, real tears she'd been holding in for hours and then she chastised herself for being so foolish. He was her boss and a complicated man, of course he didn't have time for a troublesome twenty-something and her ambition.

The entirety of the rest of the break was spent in the library and her labs, researching and preparing her credentials for the Potions Master Council, sending it off before students returned. She saw Snape often in passing, but refused to look at him or acknowledge his presence, which she knew was being childish, but she couldn't help herself. She took breakfast and lunch in the Great Hall, but opted to eat with her students instead of him, not ready to get her feelings hurt again over something so silly. 'I mean, does he hold anyone else like that? I've never seen him hug another soul, except Harry one time.' She thought, her quill in hand as she scribbled notes for another trial of Wolfsbane. A light rapping came at her door one evening, but she decided not to answer it. She was no one's head of house and students would not be looking for her. If it as another professor, they would leave a note and if it was Snape, he could as well.

Students returned quickly and she spent most of the day planning lessons and waiting for her letter from the Potions Master Council. She didn't know how quickly they normally responded and she didn't want to ask Snape, so she waited. Hermione threw herself into every possible journal or book about being a metamorphmagus, noting that is seemed her hypothesis was correct; Teddy was confused and needed help understanding his condition.

At the first breakfast of classes resuming, Hermione made herself take the seat next to Snape, but scooting as close to Professor Flitwick as she could, saying nothing unless spoken to, which had been rather easy aside from Professor Sprout asking questions about Neville and Hannah's wedding in May.

"They've finally set a date and Hannah wants spring lilies, Neville asked me specifically to see if that was possible." She'd had to talk around Snape, who's face was indifferent as she spoke.

"Please tell him yes and I will do some other lovely plants as well. How exciting." Pomona was one of Hermione's favorite colleagues, always cheerful and kind.

"Well, good day, Pomona, I'm off to first years." Hermione left the table, walking head held high to her classroom. She was proud of herself for not resorting to childish games to make him see how silly he was being, but she did miss him, his touch, everything.

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When it was time to brew again, having secured two new trial patients, Hermione didn't bother to ask Snape or consult him, in fact they hadn't spoken in weeks aside from him asking her to pass jam or butter, or to set detentions for students and sending along paperwork from the Ministry for the trials. Instead, she asked her students again, it was a good learning experience for them and practical experience for her.

Finally her letter from the Potions Master's Council came, she'd been accepted and would start practical work over the summer. It made her incredibly happy and she'd wanted to share it with Severus, but she knew too much time had passed for things to quickly and easily slip back into the happy place they'd been. He'd obviously chosen solitude over her company.

"Misses Stern and Brock have been sent to lunch rather late." She heard from the door of her laboratory. It was Sunday, students could eat when they liked.

"They were writing notes in their own journals and missed my alarm." Hermione explained, unable to meet his gaze.

"You have new test patients?"

"Yes, I forwarded the information from the Ministry, I trust you received it." She used her wand to put everything back where it had been and then collected her notes and journal, walking passed him and to her quarters. Lowering her wards, she didn't dare look back to see if he'd followed her, and slammed her door. She had no time for his indecisiveness anymore, though she didn't have much time to think about it when she heard a knock. This time she knew it was him, but worried it could be Brandy or Celia, so she opened the door and found him there, looking rather angry.

"May I help you?" Harshly she asked, one hand on her hip and the other on the door.

"You are acting foolish." The audacity! The sheer audacity of the man before her. She couldn't believe he was saying she was acting foolish. She refused to beg him to be in her life, to continue pursuing someone who couldn't even fathom her best friends knowing they were an item.

"How is that, SIR? I explained what my students did and answered your questions. Have I been remiss in my job?" He couldn't argue with her logic, she had technically done as she said. She didn't want to get into an argument, especially not in the hallway but she certainly didn't want him in her rooms.

"If there's nothing else? I have grading, Sir." He backed off, looking somewhat despondent at her words, as though she'd wounded him somehow. 'I didn't leave you at Christmas, you let me.' She wanted to yell. When he said nothing, she took her wand out.

"Good evening, Headmaster Snape." And slammed her door. If he wanted distance, if he wanted his life back to the way it was, he could have it.

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Hermione had almost no sleep for weeks following the encounter, she felt stupid and silly, he had been right. She was being foolish, she should've just said what she was upset about and why she felt that what he'd done had been cruel, but she didn't do that. Instead, she was nicer to him at meals and tried to engage him in conversations, but he was terse.

When it was time for the Czech singers to come, she was part of the welcoming committee, happy to see Harry and Draco, two of the aurors set to protect the singers. There were twenty of them, ranging in age from eighteen to sixty, all entirely pleasant and kind. The Great Hall had been converted to give them a table, which Hermione frequented each meal, happy to speak with people from another country and part of the wizarding world.

The evening of the performance, Hermione wore a new dress she'd found in Diagon Alley during Christmas holidays and had her hair expertly styled by two house elves, eager to help. She felt like a chic woman of the 1940s and couldn't wait to see the performance. As she left her quarters, she heard Snape's door creak open, but she didn't look to him, instead she walked on and took her seat in the Great Hall, now completely converted to fit all of the sixth and seventh years students and staff who wanted to attend.

They sang so remarkably well, Hermione knew she would cry. Starting in the Inferno, she translated the italian in her head, remembering the story well. But it was when they sang about Beatrice and her separation from Dante, she felt her heart break. They sang 'Vide Cor Meum' and though she'd brought her handkerchief, she felt like she was making a scene, so she excused herself and went to the hall, crying so desperately from the first note. She'd heard the song before, but not quite like this and she didn't want to hear another note, her heart was too raw. Walking to the doors, she stepped out warming some snow and the stones, sitting in the warmth and letting herself cry for being so misguided and stubborn. Hermione heard footsteps behind her, but didn't turn to look.

"You're missing a brilliant performance, go back inside." She said tersely, wiping her eyes once more, now completely free of makeup and mascara.

"As are you." His voice, like velvet along her spine.

"I didn't want to make a scene, that song..." Hermione bit her lip as more tears came and his arms lifted her from the stones, holding her in his arms and she allowed it for a moment before she pushed herself away.

"You don't get to do this." Wiping her eyes, she walked back into the castle and to her quarters, unable to stop herself from crying though she'd tried several times. Her doors opened as she met them and he was hot on her heels, unwilling to let her go.

"Go back to your singers, Professor, they are here because of you." She pulled the pins from her hair and though her curls were smoothed, they fell around her face as she removed her heels and threw them into her wardrobe.

"Hermione, stop, please." She unzipped her dress, underneath a slip and took her dress to her wardrobe, taking her robe out and tying it around her waist, sitting angrily on her sofa.

"You were right, Professor, I was being foolish, I am foolish. I believed you fancied me too and I wasn't just some stupid girl; I thought I was at least your friend. And I should've said something to you, but you didn't even bother to tell me goodbye at Christmas or talk to me when I returned. Is it really so bad that Ginny knew I fancied you, she's my best friend, she's known everyone I've fancied from Viktor Krum to you, everyone and she's never once told Harry or anyone else for that matter. And Ron, you know how he is, he may never accept that I won't marry him, but he's not a threat. And honestly, after what was said at Christmas I thought, I believed you would never leave my feelings to their own devices. If you are finished with me, whatever this is, then you should say so." She felt him sit on the sofa next to her, his hands folded and piercing his temple as she closed his eyes.

She continued, "I should've said this over a month ago, but I rather thought I shouldn't have to explain how much I cared for you, I thought it was obvious. I read the bylaws, I know what the rules are." He opened his eyes and looked at her, of course she'd read the bylaws.

"Are you going to say something, or am I going to look even more foolish for having a grown man sit on my couch in my rooms while I pour my heart out?" Still he didn't speak, so she stood and went to her washroom, brushed her teeth and flossed, pulled her hair back and braided it, before returning to her sitting room half expecting him to be gone, but he was there, his dress robes divested.

"I apologize for my behavior, I was the foolish one and entirely too preoccupied with propriety." But she didn't let him finish, he was simply making excuses.

"You had been holding me, in front of at least forty people, for upwards of ten minutes, did you not think that would tip them off?" Her anger would not abate.

"Hermione, I don't know why I left the way I did, I honestly don't but I did try to resolve it, I came here everyday when you came back, I even left you a letter." But Hermione didn't believe him.

"I heard you knock once and I found no letter." He walked to her bookcase and took the letter from atop Persuasion.

"I thought you'd finish it."

"I rather lost my appetite for optimism." She took the letter but didn't want to read it, she simply turned it over several times in her hands, reading her name in his script, she could feel the indentations on the parchment.

"Are you going to read it?" Her eyes snapped to his, a cool look.

"I don't see how this is going to change anything." He took her right hand into his and stroked her palm.

"You didn't speak to me at meals beyond common pleasantries, in the hall, nothing. Why not give me some indication that you weren't completely done? I was under the impression that you were." Hermione pulled her hand back, setting the letter on the armrest and crossing her arms.

"You sat with the children, was I supposed to come over and ask you to speak?"

"It wouldn't be uncommon for the headmaster to ask a professor to speak privately." She snapped back, though suddenly she could see the seriousness on his face. Could she really put herself through it again?

"You've cooled this before, you know, and I stupidly walked right back into it. I don't know if I can again. When I said I fancied you, I was not being facetious. I have fancied you for a while, longer than I would probably admit, but I will not be a trollope and I will not play a game, either we have an understanding or we don't. I'm not running off to the Daily Prophet." He took the letter and put it back in her hands, forcing her to open it. It was dated the night they first brewed the new Wolfsbane together, at least the first part, and then a new page had been added, dated December 27th. She read in silence, her lips didn't move, he watched her every expression, tears springing forth again. When she finished, she lay it on her lap and reached for his hand, her other dabbing her eyes. His words were kind and charming, apologetic and sincere. Had this letter really been in her rooms since December.

"How could you not tell me you'd put this over there?"

"I thought you'd read it and decided you were finished. I admit I was an ass, truly, but when everyone you've ever loved has died, it suddenly reminds you how vulnerable you are when someone ingratiates themselves in your life." He put her palm to his heart and kissed her wrist.

"But why didn't you just say something to me, all of this time we've wasted being annoyed with each other would have been time spent getting to know one another better. You don't even know I've been accepted into the program." He pulled her to him, his letter falling to the ground and engulfed her in a hug.

"I am sorry, Hermione, I didn't mean to hurt you. I wanted this resolved as soon as I left, but I was stubborn." He kissed her, noting her reluctance but then finding her loosening into his embrace.

"Are you worried about the Governors? Staff?" He nodded, noting that even if they signed all the paperwork and did everything above board, there would be gossip.

"Even if we were married, there would be talk. You are my superior, I answer to you. Perhaps I shouldn't stay and do my fellowship at St. Mungos or even from Grimmauld Place." But his face tensed, he didn't want her to leave.

"No."

"What is your solution?"

"I don't have one at present, but we will fill out the paperwork and send it in, that way we are protected from scrutiny should any staff members happen by. We will find a solution, though." He sounded dejected, as though he'd rather just have the gossip.

"That sounds fine, for now." She brought the paperwork from her desk, she'd already filled out and signed her part. She would now fall under the jurisdiction of the Deputy HeadMaster, Professor Aurora Sinistra, who had kept her maiden name.

"You weren't completely convinced things were over." He quipped, signing his name beside hers.

"No, I wasn't but that is the romantic in me. Besides, I wanted to know if you somehow came back, I could do whatever I wanted with you and feel no guilt." This time she kissed him with no hesitation, sitting in his lap and running her fingers through his hair, his kisses just as she had remembered.

"Whatever you wanted?" Her fingers trailed the buttons on his shirt, each one sending an odd electric pulse through him.

"What was that?"

"A charm I invented, do you like it?" He nodded, imaging what it would feel like everywhere. Taking her mouth, he nibbled her lower lip, then trailed kisses down her neck, meeting her collarbone.

"You are full of surprises, Hermione." He bit her shoulder softly, moving her robe, slip, and bra strap off her shoulder, his teeth making her skin tingle.

"I think we should move this to my bedroom." She whispered against his cheek, as his hands moved to untie her robe. He hadn't seen her bedroom yet. Hermione did not hesitate, she stood as her robe fell to the ground, leaving on her slip and undergarments, extending her hand to him, which he took equally matching her tenacity. Her room was mostly yellow, but a light shade, her duvet another purple.

She didn't want to talk, it had been so long since anyone had graced her bed and she bet that Severus Snape knew what he was doing, compared to Ron and other fumbling Ministry employees. As soon as he sat on her bed, she removed her slip, leaving black underwear and a cream-coloured bra. She used her charm to undo his buttons, each one popping apart as she removed his shirt, noting that he had several tattoos. Crawling on top of him, she found his torso muscular but thin, the feel of his skin against hers almost magical.

"You'll have to tell me about these someday, Severus." She marked, tracing one of a ship with her fingers.

"It would be my pleasure." His hands were fully invested in her breasts, teasing her nipples with his thumbs, before removing her bra completely and tasting her fine wares. She felt him then, against her, begging to be set free. With one hand, she pushed him back, unbuckling his belt and unzipping his trousers, she shimmied them off and then they were both in their underwear, almost unsure for a moment if they were truly ready to take the next step. She'd practically hated him for months, but she couldn't deny how much she desired him. He moved backwards on the bed and motioned for her to join, so she lay next to him, reaching to his face and pulling it to hers as she did. Their kisses had become more urgent as Snape's hand travelled her body finding its way into her underwear, making her breath hitch. Ron had been reluctant to learn to please her, so when another man did try, she felt bashful and unsure, but he eased her fears but kissing her neck and then slowly removing her underwear completely and his, now there was nothing left to hide.

"Are you sure?" He asked, reminding himself of her incident with the lust potion.

Bringing her hand to his face, hovering over her breasts, "I have never been more sure, Severus." There was an almost sinister smile on his face when he moved between her legs, Hermione found that it excited her to see him this way, so primal. And if she'd had any doubts about his abilities, they were immediately assuaged and when they finally went to sleep that night, she curled around him, she couldn't help but wonder how differently things would've been had she simply found the letter sooner.

"Goodnight, Severus."

"Goodnight, Hermione." He turned his face to kiss her and pulled the covers a little higher, covering his naked torso and another tattoo she'd just noticed.

The next morning, she woke wrapped in him, their legs completely encircled. And before she could even think of moving, he pulled her tighter against him, his right hand trailing from her breasts to her stomach, over and over. She moaned and then giggled as he moved to her side, practically putting her into convulsions.

"I do not want to pee, please stop." His raised eyebrow told her just how kinky he might be. She crawled out from the covers and walked to the washroom and peed, wiping her face with a damp cloth before she found him in bed and continued her snuggling.

"What time do you suppose it is? I hope I haven't kept you from important Hogwarts business, Severus." He kissed her nose and looked to his wand, it was seven am.

"The owls would've found me if there was something too urgent. I left Aurora in charge before I left the Great Hall." He took the opportunity to pull her close, facing her this time and staring at her face, her freckles standing out this time, as he zeroed in on them. She moved some of his hair from his face and pressed her lips to his, thankful they'd come to their senses.

"It's Sunday." She remarked, moving her hand to his hip.

"Indeed."

"Can we add this to our former Sunday ritual agreement? Morning sex."

"I believe that can be arranged." She climbed on top of him this time, partly to control the situation and partly to tease him, to make him beg for release. Her plan worked successfully and she finally heard his quivering beg, saying her name like she'd never heard it before.

"Where did you learn that?"

"Would you believe me if I said a book?" She mused, crawling off of him and to his side, glistening with sweat.

"From you, perhaps." She him a quick peck on his arm and nestled next to him, blissfully happy.

"I wish I didn't have to leave this bed until tomorrow, but I have this really terrible boss who requires me to do detentions for his wayward students on Sunday afternoons." He tickled her at she joked about him, making her squirm and almost punch him. They showered and dressed and went to breakfast in the Great Hall, taking their seats next to each other, their paperwork sent to the Governor's first thing. Hermione wrapped her foot around his, and buttered his toast, some things would have to remain consistent and predictable if they wanted the gossip to be low. She didn't mind so much if people talked, she knew she hadn't done anything to feel guilty about and for her that was all that mattered. When the meal was finished, she and Severus walked to the library and then to see Hagrid who had recently received a new shipment of blast-ended skrewts. Severus stayed when it was time for Hermione to give four boys from Slytherin detention; walking back to the castle gave her time to revisit the night before and everything that he'd said, his letter. She couldn't believe what he'd felt in November, the words he'd written across the table from her while she scribbled away to Beauxbatons and her friends. And then what he'd added, his sincere apology for thinking she would be a liability in life. It kept her in deep thought the rest of the afternoon, even when the students left and she went to dinner, sitting next him as she normally did, her heart full and satisfied.

"Would you like to try my rooms?" He whispered, leaning down to her. She immediately agreed and let him leave first, she followed ten minutes later, making sure no one was around when she knocked on his door.

"Welcome, Hermione." She found a true Slytherin's room, draperies of fine emerald velvet. It was so Severus. They read for a while and then retired to his rooms, wherein they had another fabulous evening of sex and he explained two of his twenty tattoos before they finally fell asleep and met Monday head on.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: I own nothing you recognize! Some heavy scenes for a stressed Hermione and sexuality. Chapter 5 updated with new explanations for Hermione's parents deaths crucial for plot development later. Thanks for reading and let me know what you think!**

 **Chapter 6**

Deputy HeadMaster Sinistra was surprised when she received Hermione Granger's file on her desk three weeks later, after the Board of Governors contacted Snape and made sure he understood the consequences of them not following procedure: they would both be discredited and barred from teaching at Hogwarts. She flipped through Hermione's records and evaluations, which spoke highly of her professionalism and ability to teach all houses equally. When she approached Snape regarding the matter, she was surprised to learn the reason she was now evaluating her former student and colleague.

"We had to fill this paperwork out, too. Standard procedure. She cannot be evaluated or promoted by me, only the Deputy HeadMaster. All of your concerns regarding her work can be spoken to me, but ultimately decisions rest in your hands." Aurora blinked several times before closing Hermione's file and walking to the door.

"You must really care for her to invite gossip and possibly besmirch your reputation, Sev." He folded his arms against his chest and met her stern gaze.

"We are private people who wish to follow the rules, my particular interest is of no concern to your job. " Aurora knew the real Snape was still there, lurking under his dark clothes but she was always surprised when he chose to speak to her in such a way.

"I always do my job." She left him in his office and descended the stairs; he was obviously smitten and unwilling to admit it to Aurora Sinistra.

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Once Teddy was officially evaluated by healers at St. Mungos, it was clear he was not experiencing effects from his father's lycanthropy, but instead his mother's metamorphmagus genetics. Harry and Ginny found another metamorphmagus who was willing to help Teddy adjust to his new powers, even though he was becoming more comfortable with the transitions much faster than Harry and Ginny anticipated he would. Hermione evaluated him once more, traveling to Grimmauld Place on a Saturday and staying the night in her old room, thinking about how different her life was now that she was back at Hogwarts, and also admitting to herself how much Severus Snape had become such an integral part of her life. It frightened her; her feelings felt suffocating sometimes when she least expected it.

"You seem awfully lost in thought." Ginny said, tossing a roll at Hermione as they ate dinner that night, Teddy trying out a beak, reminding them all of Tonks, though his eyes were certainly Remus Lupin's.

"Just thinking about research and starting my potions mastery projects. I don't know if I can do it." Ginny and Harry eyed each other, both knowing that she was more than capable of becoming a Potions Master, so that obviously wasn't what was troubling her.

"Teddy, will you grab some butter from the larder?" Harry asked, Teddy's hair now an odd shade of orange.

"Is this melancholy about Snape?" Ginny's voice showed genuine concern and neither could miss the subtle rise of pink to Hermione's cheeks, her eyes blinking rapidly.

"Yes, actually, we had a disagreement that took almost two months away and I feel so foolish. What am I thinking? He's the headmaster and he's Snape...I shouldn't be involved with anyone at work, especially not my boss, but…" Her words failed, her misgivings were evident but she really didn't believe her protestations.

"I've never seen you unsure, this is unnerving." Harry whispered, putting his hand on hers, making things markedly worse.

"It's just, I've never felt so conflicted in my life and certainly I have never doubted my sanity so much." But as she said the words, she remembered the feeling of his embrace, his hands at her neck and in her hair, his lips on hers as he released a soft moan. Was this more than a casual crush? Could she possibly love him?

"Nothing must be set in stone right now, we're twenty-four not a hundred. Besides,your potions projects towards mastery will take three years and he's not planning on retiring, you'll have plenty of time to figure it all out." Ginny smiled towards her, but Hermione was not assuaged, her anxieties plaguing her as she finished, washed up, and went to her room to sleep. She didn't really know why she suddenly felt so much pressure on herself, it had come out of nowhere while evaluating Teddy, his sweet face so carefree and happy, though he'd lost both of his parents. As she brushed her hair and plaited it, she thought about Remus and Tonks, their whirlwind relationship happening in such terrible times; he'd finally found love and acceptance in Tonks and she as well, two odd people so in love. Hermione saw so many parallels between Lupin and Tonks and she and Severus, their stories markedly similar, except she didn't know if Severus would ever love her the way he'd loved Lily Evans or the way Remus had loved Tonks, dying in each other's arms. Did she have to have a love with that devotion? Could she be in a quasi-sexual friendship with Severus forever? She knew the answer: the reason she'd said no to Ron was her refusal to settle for less than forever and a love she felt so desperately in her bones that she couldn't stand to be away for moments. Even if she was being naive, Hermione refused to settle. She refused to believe she would never find a love like Remus and Tonks,even if that meant Severus wasn't the one.

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She found Severus in the lounge when she returned to Hogwarts, his hand lazily stirring a cold cup of coffee as his eyes traveled over her copy of Jude the Obscure. It was as though her hesitations and fears melted immediately when his coal-black eyes met hers, a slight upturn of his mouth greeted her.

"How is young Lupin?" He asked, grabbing his coffee and hoping to be invited to her quarters.

"Surprisingly better now that he has a proper diagnosis, he reminded me so much of Tonks last night at dinner." The brief shadow of sadness crossed her face, but it wasn't lost on Severus who set his coffee down to pour hers; he didn't want to pry, but he could tell something about the previous night's evening had made a mark on his young companion.

"Thank you." She brought the cup to her lips and placed her hand on his, her thumb finding his palm and massaging his lightly before she turned, beckoning him to follow her to her quarters, still in her plain clothes which Severus hadn't seen often aside from trips to Hogsmeade and of course when she was younger and living at Grimmauld place.

"Anything crazy happen here last night?" She asked, sinking into her chair, the fire already roaring thanks to the wonderful house elves, and she even saw her clothes had been laundered and folded on her wardrobe, the door slightly open, though it was hard to make out through her bedroom door.

"Nothing of note, we did have a few students trying to sneak out to Hogsmeade, but nothing quite like shenanigans of previous students." He was happy to see a small smile play on her lips, growing to her eyes as she obviously reminisced about her times as a student in the same walls, a much different time. When he shifted his legs, Hermione studied his hands, now holding Jude the Obscure again and the subtle turning of pages lulled her into a haze, simply content to be in a room with him, reading and drinking a bit of coffee. Her eyes moved to her shelf, she might as well get started on her new reading before she was required to send in her first proposal, though she wanted to focus on curing lycanthropy, she didn't know if she would ever accomplish that goal. Instead of grabbing her potions book, she grabbed on of her old journals, the one from right after the Final Battle, May 1998. Her handwriting was unusually jagged as she had scribbled her thoughts, how she'd felt when she believed Harry was dead and the man across from her as well, going into the Chamber of Secrets with Ron, her subsequent kiss with Ron that had felt like the culmination of years of a ridiculous crush and her misguided heart beating wildly against her chest, but of all this, she was looking for a specific passage about Remus and Tonks, unable to shake the feelings from the day prior. When she found it, she was unable to stop her eyes from misting, her nose itching as tears formed, reading about finding them amongst the dead, their hands entwined, knowing Teddy would grow up without his parents. Why couldn't Lupin have been given some semblance of happiness? It almost made her swear as she flipped the pages, noting the many they'd lost that day, and she wondered how Harry had survived at all; every person he'd known as a father figure or family was dead, and though he'd made his own family in the Weasleys and even with her, it wasn't the same. Guilt consumed her.

"Here." Pulled from her reverie, Hermione looked up, her eyes swimming as Severus handed her a handkerchief. "I could sense you were unhappy earlier, do you want to talk about it?" Hermione wasn't ready to tell him she worried he'd disappear as they did, not from some outside influence like the Dark Lord, but because she was a snivelling fool whose heart was too soft.

"I'm just being silly, Teddy reminded me of things we've lost...I'm just feeling sorry for myself and my friends, stupid really." Wiping her eyes, Hermione closed her journal and placed it back on her shelf, in the order and date. Surprisingly, she felt Severus' arms pull her close; it made her feel worse. He'd lost much, more than she, and his entire life was more complicated than hers had ever been.

"I'm just having a weak moment, I'm sorry. It's just Remus and Tonks, they were so happy when Teddy came and then they died, that day was...and Harry and you…" She resolved herself to one final push of tears, then she wiped her face once more and took her potions book from the shelf, kissing Severus on the cheek and hugging him momentarily before returning to her seat.

"You should not feel embarrassed to cry over your loss, it's human, you are human."

"You don't cry and I feel embarrassed because it makes me feel foolish and young again, like teen who cannot control my emotions. It was a moment of pity; it doesn't happen often." Her tone had shifted and he knew not to push her, so he sat, his index finger protecting the page he was reading. But as he looked over to her, he could sense immediately that the survivor's guilt she was feeling was something he'd felt for years.

"I have cried, we've all cried. You saw me cry in the Shrieking Shack and then you saved me, you are not a naive teenager whose emotions are unfounded. Perhaps you have simply never dealt with these emotions as you should've." He returned to his book, letting her stew in her feelings as she tackled a potions text he'd read many times, theory and magic in potions absolutely essential for any potions master.

"I was feeling sorry for myself, but I will get over it." He had not been expecting that, her self-pity.

"Are you unhappy with your life?" A cold look from her chilled him, he'd never seen her quite like this, a she-wolf eager to pounce or protect her nonexistent cubs.

"Not unhappy, just floundering; I feel like I've wasted so much time when I should've made myself do this," she held up the book, "years ago instead of throwing my life away at the Ministry and with Ron, so stupid of me. I got complacent, willing to throw away years on something I knew was a mistake...And now I feel assine talking about this aloud to you, whose esteem I hold so very high, it's as though…" But he silenced her with a kiss and the extension of his hand, inviting her to the sofa to sit next to him.

"You might be the youngest witch I've know to suffer an existential crisis." His arms enveloped her as she rested her head on his shoulder, his fingers playing a tune against her arm.

"I just fear I will keep making terrible choices and end of some old maid in a house full of cats or I'll die in the lab like Binns and continue on as though my life meant nothing. Gods, I sound ludicrous...how can you even stand to hear my insipid musings?" His hand stilled...she'd finally come to the crux of her real problem; she was still worried he might disappear and even though she hadn't spoken the exact words, he knew that she was unsure of their attachment.

"There was a time I felt these exact feelings, sans cats. It made me turn away from the Dark Lord, it made me come here, though I was younger than you, but I spent years mulling through the exact same thoughts, dodging romantic attachments knowing I'd die when He came back, but I didn't. Survivor's guilt is a terrible weight to carry, don't allow yourself to wallow in it. The best thing you can do for Lupin and Tonks, all those we lost, is to live a good life, whatever that means to you." She'd woven her hands through his buttons many times and then deposited itself in his vest pocket, gingerly kissing his chin as he finished, feeling like a weight had been lifted.

"I want to ask you something, but I am afraid it will be impertinent and too personal." Hermione mused, pulling away from him enough to look directly into his eyes.

"I have nothing to hide, Hermione."

"Do regret me saving you?" It was not the question he was expecting, not in the slightest and she didn't quite know why she'd asked it, herself. But as the existential door had been opened, she wondered if he'd rather died than to rebuild his life again, to have to explain himself, for everyone to know how he'd devoted his life to Lily Evans Potter.

"If I'm being honest, at first, I was damn angry at you, I'd prepared to die, wanted to die. But, years have passed and my existence now is freeing, I am finally free." Hermione's eyes began swimming again, she took their books and put them on the side table, and faced him, running her thumbs over his face, his mouth and cheek bones, placing soft kissing in their wake. His arms pulled her against him, the only sound in the room was their hushed kisses and her sniffles, tears still falling steadily down her face.

"I'm sorry." She whispered as one tear fell on his cheek, rolling to his sharp jaw, dropping finally to his vest. In silent protestation of her silly sorry, he ran his hands across her back and then to her hips, pulling her as close as possible to him, but Hermione pushed back from him, standing again and putting her hand out, she wanted to be closer to him. Her bedroom was dark but welcoming as she pulled him through and although she was exhausted from her previous day and childish mooring, she wanted nothing more than to see him writhing beneath her, control over a man who was always in control.

She lay him back, using his spell to undo all of the buttons, and then the rest of his clothes, enjoying the look of curiosity playing oddly on his face, unable to read her. In the same swiftness, she divested of her own clothes, returning to the pale but lovely man before her, climbing him and smothering him with kiss.

"You taste like cinnamon." She moaned against him, their mouths fighting for dominance as his hands travelled to her breasts and neck, her exquisite neck, allowing her the momentary power in their playful tryst. Hermione lay soft kissed on his neck, traveling across his chest and down, taking him in her hands and then her mouth, she wondered how long it had been since a woman had done this for him, but she forced the thought from her mind as quickly as it had appeared, and focused on his moans instead.

"I take it this is something you enjoy?" Her smirk almost made him laugh, almost. He pulled her back up to him and used his legs to force her on the bed, her back hitting the duvet, her chestnut curls spilling over the edge of the bed.

"You are exquisite." His baritone voice vibrated against her as he spoke, his mouth teasing her own, as his hands continued to move across her body, finding her most sensitive spots. Without thinking she pushed him on his back again, and took the lead, her fingers digging pleasantly into his chest, as she towered over him, wanting nothing more than to feel in control, giving him pleasure she could visibly see on his face. It took everything she had not to admit her feelings to him in that moment, seeing him weak and riveting with sensual pleasure beneath her, his chest rising and falling with her legs. But, she held it back, she instead focused on him and the images in her mind of how happy she wanted to make him, herself, and how she never wanted to let him go.

Curled next to him when they'd both experienced the height of pleasure, Hermione felt completely free of her earlier malaise; instead, she was happy to have his leg draped over hers and his gentle breaths in her hair. She took his arm, which had been resting on her side, and pulled him closer, it was as though she couldn't get close enough to him.

"I'm not going anywhere, Hermione." His breath was warm against her ear, making her shiver against him.

"Good." She turned and kissed him, succumbing to sleep in his arms. It was time for dinner when she finally woke, noting that they'd turned in their sleep and now she was spooning him, her leg draped over his and her hand delicately resting over his package, she teased him and noted the guttural moan that had escaped from his throat, something she'd yet to hear from him.

"You are truly a temptress and will completely unman me if you continue." She didn't stop, instead, she went beneath the covers and finished her earlier close inspection of him, taking him in her mouth again, tasting herself as she did. She could feel him tensing and shuddering beneath her, his hands grabbing at the sheets and once even her hair, which she quite liked. When he'd finally lost control, Hermione threw the covers back and gave him a sloppy kiss, going to the loo to pee and freshen up.

"We'll be late for dinner, Severus."

"Cheeky tart, how can I possibly sit in front of all those students and not think about your amazing mouth?"

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February led quickly to March, Hermione tried her best to focus on her lessons, the work she was doing for Wolfsbane trials, and her upcoming courses and projects, but she found herself ruminating on her strange bedfellow, the man who had ingratiated himself into her life so easily. It wasn't that he was easy to deal with most days, he was still Severus Snape after all, but Hermione found that when he was in one of his moods, she either ignored him or found herself something else to do. Even with their new understanding, they didn't see each other most days beyond meals and in passing, their rooms so close together. It was a delight when he could spend an evening in her quarters or she in his, but they always spent Sundays together, having made that deal long before. Hermione knew that once her Potions Mastery projects started, she would have less time to spend with Severus, so she tried to schedule herself in a manner that allowed for a similar schedule, so that she didn't have to completely pull herself away once the term began again in August; but, ultimately, Hermione found that she wanted nothing more than to see him more, even if it meant she would feel guilty later.

"You've been on the same page for twenty minutes." She heard Severus say on a rare weekday night when he'd come to her quarters. Her tea was also cold, but she hadn't noticed.

"I don't even know what I was thinking about, odd." Hermione closed her book, an italian treatise on the history and impact of werewolves in ancient history, and moved closer to Severus, who was reading through his correspondence and writing replies.

"Rather quiet tonight as well, you must be losing it completely, Professor Granger, should I floo Aurora?" He grabbed her hand before she could pinch him and kissed it, setting his paperwork and ink aside, pulling her into his embrace, her head softly on his chest.

"I'm just having an odd day." Hermione shifted, noting that the sleeve of her blouse had come up a little, revealing the word 'mudblood' etched into her skin; her eye shot to her calendar and she realized, without even thinking about it consciously, that it had been at the end of March when they'd been taken to Malfoy Manor. She shuddered against him, thinking about Bellatrix's face inches from hers, her breath as hot as Severus's against her neck, so she moved away from him for a moment, before going to her washroom to splash her face. It was the closest to a flashback that she'd had since that day and it was the oddest feeling, so surreal. She heard a gentle knock on her door before Severus came through. He didn't say anything, simply extended his hand, which she reluctantly took, reminding herself that he was a good man, her man. He led her back to her sitting area, but sat across from her in the matching leather chairs and studied her. She was flush, her eyes darting everywhere in the room, her skin looked as though she'd recently walked through mist, and he was sure he could hear her pulse. When she didn't speak for a few minutes, he rose and brought her a damp cloth, gently cooling her neck and face.

"I don't quite know what happened." She whispered.

"Stress? You do have many fires burning right now, Hermione." He continued trying to cool her down, to help her in a way that was comfortable.

"I had a flashback to Malfoy Manor, that's never happened." Severus knelt before her, her hands in his.

"Bellatrix LeStrange is dead, she can never harm you. It is my greatest endeavor that you remain unharmed for the rest of your life, at least while you are in this castle I can protect you."

"It was just jarring, I haven't even looked at this stupid thing in months, I keep it hidden so much I've forgotten it's there. I'm fine now, thank you." Her hand went to his jaw, bringing him close enough to kiss, her lips claiming his softly in thanks.

"Unfortunately, I know exactly to what you are referring. It often helps me to remind myself of the positive, which is much easier as of late. Make a list or even say it aloud, I find that I feel myself drifting in what I consider panic attacks so infrequently now." Hermione pulled him to stand as she did, encircling her arms around his waist, so completely grateful he was there that evening.

"Can you stay?" Her words barely made it his ears they were so soft.

"Yes, I can stay, but you need to rest. Seriously, rest." He unbuttoned her blouse, then her bra, and took her pants off, finding her softest nightshirt, he helped her into it and then changed himself once she was safely ensconced in bed. Gathering their clothes, he sent them to her hamper and then joined her, her arms inviting him to snuggle as he finished his correspondence.

"Do you think I should tattoo something over this garish thing?"

"Would it make you feel better?" He stopped his hand and looked at her arm, thinking of his many tattoos, cover-ups for all his scars, war wounds and other unfortunate accidents along the way.

"Yes, I think it would. Would you go with me?" He snorted, imagining them sitting in a muggle tattoo parlor; most of his were done by other Death Eaters but some had been done by muggles.

"It would be most enjoyable to watch you squirm, my dear." He wasn't fast enough to stop her pinching him this time, but she was gentle. Returning to his writing, he heard her breathing slow and soften, she'd fallen asleep finally. He finished his letters and tucked it all away on the the nightstand, _noxing_ the lights and falling further into bed, moving Hermione only slightly. In a moment of unguarded relief, he watched her sleep, her freckles illuminated by her bewitched window. It took all of his restraint not to kiss her as she rested, instead he held her against him and succumbed to sleep, wishing he could have her this close every night.


	7. Chapter 7

**Author's note: I own nothing you recognize! A baby Potter is born. I know that Andromeda actually raised Teddy, but for the purposes of my story, I wanted Harry and Ginny to have him more often, and in turn for Hermione to find herself as an "aunt" to him.**

 **Chapter 7**

When the end of term finally came, Hermione was sad to see some of her favorite students go, those who'd helped her brew and those who had come a long way in their courses. She was also aware that she would be spending most of the summer at Hogwarts, which she found after being there for a week was rather weird as few other staff stayed during the summer and the one's who did were rather antisocial, aside from Severus. She left for a week to stay with Harry and Ginny, seeing the Weasley brood reminded her how thankful she was to have an adopted family, but coming back to Hogwarts also made her realize that she never wanted that many children around her own house; never a moment's peace. Unpacking her back, she found that one of Teddy's chess pieces had found it's way in her bag, she laughed putting it on her nightstand and surveyed her room. Nothing seemed out of place, yet it felt off...she couldn't quite put her finger on it, but she let the thought drift away when she heard Severus at her door.

"How were the Potters?"

"They say hello and beg you to accompany me to dinner next week." She wasn't facing him, but she heard his mouth curl and eyes roll.

"If I must." He breathed into her ear, his arms wrapping her tightly in a hug, one she had missed while she was away.

"Ginny is finally showing, like really showing and she looks like she's about to give birth any moment. And Bill and Fleur were by, they have two littles and George and Angelina, Percy and Penelope...so many children. Teddy was in rare form, he probably morphed twenty times at each meal. Perfect birth control." She felt him still. They'd never talked about children or even the future, aside from her pursuing her potions mastery. It felt an opportune time to at least bring up children, but then again, she'd had such a lovely time and didn't want to spoil her day if he became cross. Instead, she turned in his arms and kissed him.

"I feel like I was gone for months. My rooms feel different." He released her as she continued unpacking, finding another chess piece and two toy helicopters. "Teddy's toys, I guess I'll have to remember these later."

"Do you desire to be a mother someday?" Hermione abruptly stopped, dropping a small wad of clothes, she hadn't really thought about it much and certainly not when she'd been with Ron.

"I don't know, I haven't really considered it much or often." Honestly, she hadn't and she didn't want to say yes or no. She was waiting on him to offer his opinion, but then realized that he might not unless she asked. The more she pondered it, though, the more she knew his answer without asking. Severus Snape was a great protector and the students of Hogwarts looked to him as such, but she couldn't imagine him as a father, changing nappies or waking at odd hours to a screaming baby, honestly she didn't know if she could do those things. It felt quite confusing. In a moment of embarrassed honesty, Hermione finished her unpacking and then found her other bag, full of potions materials for officially submitting her proposal for the first year of work she would complete. She thumbed through what she'd already written, keenly aware that Severus was still standing beside her bed, staring at her.

"When you have time, would you look this over? I have to submit it by the end of July and I don't want to mess up." He nodded, but still watched her with eyes she couldn't read. "What?" When he didn't say anything, she walked to him, resting her hands gently on his chest.

"I'm on muggle birth control, there's no way we'll have an unplanned pregnancy, and unless you feel strongly about having one, I don't foresee having a child any time soon...we haven't even talked about things beyond the summer, Severus,and you look positively frightened." She couldn't tell if what she'd said eased his mind or made things worse, he didn't move or change his expression.

"Say something, you're unnerving me." Stepping up, she kissed him softly.

"I've just never considered it and then realized that we've never even discussed contraception, which was a bit foolish."

"True, but we've hardly talked about many things, which has been a nice reprieve from the usual, 'what is this or what are we doing?'. I feel secure enough now that I don't need that conversation, unless I am remiss?" Hermione undid the buttons of his shirt, kissing his chest.

"You are not; you are right, we haven't discussed many things. But, as for the 'things beyond the summer', I hadn't thought about it, but I consider us quite settled." Her eyebrows dipped oddly towards her nose as she stopped kissing him, she didn't understand his meaning.

"Settled?" He took her hands and pulled her away from him to look firmly into her eyes.

"I don't want anyone else, ever." She got his meaning then, his hands releasing hers and cupping her face, his fingers massaging the space behind her ears.

"Neither do I." Hermione said between kisses from him, wondering if he meant that he would never disappear from Christmas again. But all other thoughts beyond his hands on her body and mouth on her skin were gone when they made it to her bed. Tangled in her sheets and completely sated a while later, Severus caught her smiling.

"So tell me about this miracle muggle birth control."

"It's a little implant at the top of my cervix, basically it stops the possibility of conception, for ten years. I got it when I became concerned my potions or charms could be faulty." It was his turn to grin slightly, imagining an exacerbated Hermione wondering if her potion was contaminated.

"Grin all you want, I didn't want a red-headed Weasley running around."

"Well that killed it, the grin is gone." He paused for a moment, kissing her palm. "If I am being completely honest, I have never considered being a parent, I've never had to. It is a rather foreign concept for someone like me who has never been married, notwithstanding my terrible examples for parents. I'm not saying I would never consider it, I just don't think it will be something I ever push for, as you put it. I don't want to disappoint you."

"What I said earlier, I meant. I haven't thought about it at all and with my career and the next years spent in the deluge that is a potions mastery, I can't even fathom. After that, I don't know. Hormones are a crazy thing sometimes. You aren't disappointing me, Severus." She pulled herself closer to him, resting her head on his chest. For a moment, she imagined what a child between them would look like, pale skin and large eyes, maybe his fine hair would temper her bushy mess, the child would get some killer brains, tall, and mischievous eyes...it wasn't a bad image, just one that was marred by her own patience and his, the thought of him carrying a baby around in his arm seemed weird, but lovely. She was twenty-four and he forty-four, at best if they got married and had a child when she was finished with her qualifications, she'd be at least twenty-seven, even if wizards and witches lived longer than muggles, she didn't think he would want to start a family in his late forties. Even though there were so many variables, and it was obviously something she knew she would put far back into her mind, Hermione felt a tinge sad about the prospects and she didn't understand why exactly.

((())))

They sent for dinner through Winky and ate in her sitting area, talking about his plans for improvements while most of the staff and students were gone. Hermione detailed proposal, including her plans to rework her current research to search for a permanent cure, even if it was folly, she knew she would get her certification based upon the research and publications she planned to pursue. She knew brewing all the basic potions were part of her mastery, but the rare ones she'd never brewed she knew she would need Severus for, and he agreed to help her whenever he could.

"I just worry about the sixth years moving up, so many qualified for NEWT level potions and we'll be brewing far more complicated potions than I did last year, I wonder if I need to redo the syllabus. What do you think?" He contemplated her words and set his tea and saucer on the side table.

"Have your students help you, you need to restock the infirmary this summer, but during the year, let them brew for the infirmary. And when you come across a potion in your field work that the Board of Potioneers requires, if it is something the seventh years can handle, let them take a crack at it. I would never have survived my certification without the help of my sixth and seventh years, which included students like Nymphadora Tonks, mind you." Hermione laughed, thinking of Tonks sitting in his classroom. "Her hair went green every time I stood over her shoulder, it was quite amusing."

"Well, that is fantastic advice. Thank you." Hermione scribbled some notes and finished her tea, sending their trays away in a snap. They retired back to bed, taking full advantage of the summer and absence of almost everyone, staying up late reading and talking, and sleeping late. Hermione was convinced she would be completely spoiled by the time students returned.

Dinner at the Potter's had been a relatively enjoyable night, no outbursts or disappearing acts, just stilted conversations in some parts and then one dropped glass, courtesy of Teddy Lupin whose hand had become jelly randomly. Hermione and Severus tidied the kitchen as Harry sent Teddy to bed.

"I've been having those false contractions for a week now, Harry keeps telling me to get checked out, but they don't feel real or maybe it's true that gingers don't feel pain the same way. All I know is, when this child is ready, it can bloody come out. Being pregnant in the summer is bloody awful." Harry kissed her as she finished, rubbing her stomach before sitting across from Hermione and Severus.

"Thank you for the wine, we haven't had a nice red in ages. Ron always drinks the wine before we can."

"Speaking of, what has he been up to? He hasn't responded to any of my owls." Hermione asked, finishing her wine.

"He's taken an assignment with Ernie McMillan in the Highlands, rooting out some apparent horde of artifacts from Grindelwald's time. We've sent three owls ourselves with no return, so it might be difficult to find him up there." Harry explained as Ginny's face screwed in pain.

"Alright over there, Gin?" Hermione thought Ginny looked rather green suddenly.

"I think my water has broken or I've just peed myself in front of you all." Harry immediately stood and felt Ginny's neck, the place where her temperature usually spiked and she was clammy.

"Do you want us to watch Teddy? I mean he's asleep, but stay here in case he wakes up?" Hermione offered, looking to Severus for approval.

"Yes, I guess, ummm Harry, where is my bag, this seems a bit early." Ginny stood shakily, as Hermione cast a few spells to help ease Ginny's embarrassment. In a flash, Harry had the bag, and walked her to the floo, stopping oddly next to Severus who gave him an earnest pat on the shoulder. It struck Hermione then that Severus was the last connection to his parents, the only person who knew them intimately enough to truly understand them, once the prejudices were pushed aside.

"Love you both!" Hermione called out as they flooed to St. Mungos.

"Well, that was an odd turn of events."

"Molly said she was early with Bill and Charlie. Harry was early, too, he wasn't due until , I guess I'll show you my old room." Hermione held out her hand to him and they climbed to the fourth floor, where her room was still decorated in the same colors as when she'd lived there after the war. It felt incredibly naughty to be in there with him, she hadn't even fooled around with Ron in that room.

Dawn came quickly and still no word from Harry. Hermione became a little worried, so she left Severus around eight and went to St. Mungos to check in with them. She found Harry in a waiting room.

"Harry?"

"She's fine, just resting. They had to turn the baby, it was turned weird. I am going back in in a moment, just had to catch my breath." Hermione hugged him tightly, feeling his anxiety melt momentarily.

"Is she close? Do you want me to bring Teddy?"

"Yes and yes, thank you." Hermione took the lift back to the lobby and flooed to Grimmauld Place, finding Severus and Teddy at the table eating breakfast and talking about chess, Severus had obviously given Teddy the pieces from her luggage.

"Well this looks cosy. Teddy, eat up and have a wash, we are going to St. Mungos." Teddy jammed the rest of his food in his mouth and ran his plate to the sink, taking the steps by twos to his room.

"How is Ginny?" Severus asked, spelling the plates to wash themselves.

"The baby was turned funny when she started pushing, but I think by the time we get back, the baby will be born. Harry was dreadfully pale when I saw him. Killed Voldemort, can't watch his wife give birth." She realized the joke was probably in poor taste, but Severus grinned like the chesire cat and swatted her bottom.

"It's far different watching someone you love in pain, unable to take it away." He remarked as they heard the water turn on and Teddy singing. It was the most romantic thing she'd ever heard him say.

"This will be the closest he ever comes to a sibling. Poor kid." It took everything Hermione had not to cry, thinking about what Severus had said and the seven year old singing in the shower.

"We survived without siblings."

"True, my parents tried unsuccessfully for years to have another." Hermione busied herself in the kitchen as the dishes washed and then wiped the table, just as Teddy came bounding down the stairs, pulling a hand through his wildly orange hair.

"Okay, let's go." Hermione stepped into the floo with Teddy and smiled at Severus, who looked rather foreboding standing alone. When he arrived moments after them, they took the lift to the maternity ward, and found Arthur, Molly, and Ron in the waiting room. Teddy immediately ran to Ron, giving him a tight hug. Hermione walked over to him as George came up behind her, crushing her in a hug.

"George, I swear." Hermione pulled from his grasp, laughing.

"You're lucky your sister is giving birth right now, George Weasley." Ron joined in the laughter, which surprised Hermione.

"I've just gotten your owls, sorry about that, we're kind of hidden up there."

"It's okay, I just worried you'd accidentally severed your hand or something." But as she finished her sentence, she heard a baby cry, startling her instantly. Molly wept, wiping her eyes with a handkerchief, as Arthur held her tightly, repeating that Ginny was okay. The door opened suddenly and Harry came out, a smile bigger than she'd ever seen.

"It's a boy and Ginny is great, they're both fine. We can have visitors in a moment, just a couple at a time." Everyone cheered, well Severus nodded while everyone else lost it. Molly and Arthur went in first about an hour later when the healers left. Then George, Ron and Teddy, and last Hermione and Severus.

"Hey there." Hermione said, opening the door. She found Harry cradling his son and Ginny staring on, starry eyed and crying. Immediately, as Hermione took a seat, Harry handed the baby to her. He had a smattering of dark hair and chubby cheeks, sweet lips, and the softest skin. He smelled luxurious.

"We've decided to call him James, James Sirius." Ginny said, still crying. "Sorry, I can't stop."

"Don't worry about us, I'd be having a good cry too if I'd had to push an eight pound baby out, especially one this handsome." Hermione laughed, looking to the neat chart about Ginny's bed reading all of the stats for baby James. Hermione then focused on James again, not realizing she was just as starry eyed as Ginny as she looked over his tiny features.

"Merlin, you two, he is perfect." She leaned down and kissed his forehead, smelling him again, noticing that Severus has moved to stand behind her, placing his hand on her shoulder. James made a little sound and then yawned, stretching his little arm out, and then taking Hermione's finger. She felt Severus's hand tighten a bit on her shoulder, she thought at first that he meant to get her attention, but when she looked to him, he face was softened, he looked almost pleased to see the baby. It made her wonder if he was thinking of Lily, this was her grandson, after all.

"I suppose I should give him back." Hermione stood and walked him over to Ginny, who looked happy to have him back, lying him gently on her chest. "I know you're tired, we'll leave you to rest. Please let me know if you need anything, I'll stay at Grimmauld Place with Teddy." Hermione whispered, kissing Ginny's cheek and then hugging and kissing Harry. She took Severus's arm and they went back to the waiting room.

"You don't have to stay, I have no idea how long it will be before they are released." She said, stopping before they went to get Teddy.

"I don't mind, I can handle Hogwarts business from there, but I will go back and get necessities and clothes." Hermione gave him a quick kiss and took Teddy with her to the floos, going quickly to Grimmauld Place and feeding him lunch, playing chess though she wasn't nearly as good as Severus, and then working on some puzzles with him. When Severus returned at dinner, Hermione had made lasagna, so they all ate together, and then she took their things upstairs while Teddy and Severus had a rematch in chess. She heard them come up the stairs, so she made sure Teddy brushed his teeth and then read him a story, tucked him, and gave him a quick kiss.

"Everyone accounted for and time for bed." She said, crawling into bed with Severus, feeling far less naughty than she had before. He was quiet, which wasn't unusual for him, and she was tired. Hermione felt herself slipping into sleep much faster than she normally would, but then she was caught by a fierce kiss and a hand in her hair, snaking through her curls. Her eyes snapped open and she saw a hunger in him.

"Well hello to you to, Severus." She laughed, casting _muffliato_ on the room. He practically ripped her nightshirt off, then her knickers, entering her so quickly she lost her breath. Moaning in her ear, she felt him kissing her neck, across her collarbone, her jawline, not making any sounds except an errant moan or two. It was the most savage their sexual encounters had ever been, as though he was driven by some desire she had never known before. When he was spent, he concentrated on her, it became overwhelming for her. All of the emotions of the day flooded her, almost making her cry as she came.

"Severus, what was that?" Her voice was shaky, her legs like jello, and she felt like she had thousands of love bites across her body.

"I don't know, I had to have you." He was still kissing her neck, running one hand over her breasts.

"It was amazing." It was all she could say, finally opening her eyes and seeing him, the moonlight reflecting his dark eyes, she could see his pupils expanding and contracting as he stared at her.

"Come here." He leaned down and smothered her with a kiss, taking her breath away again, pulling her against him, still craving her closeness.

"I hope they're getting some rest tonight."Hermione said, after a time. She'd turned so they were spooning, Severus's leg thrown over hers, his arm around her waist.

"James Potter, will I ever survive?"

"Maybe he'll be more like Ginny." Hermione laughed.

"That does not dissuade my thinking, he could be the mix of Weasley tricks and Potter pride."

"He's not even a day old, Severus. Besides, Aunt Hermione will have a hand in helping to mold him, maybe I can make him a little nerd." More laughter.

"You are rather good with them." He said tentatively, nuzzling her neck.

"Teddy is easy, seven is an easy age. I remember when he was almost three, getting into everything. He'd just come to live here and Ginny was overwhelmed, they were just married, and I was so busy, but he was charming and I just loved him, so easily. Neville, Ron, Luna, and I all lived here then, so it was a and I played together outside in the garden all the time, mostly for me to escape the chaos inside. I guess I just wanted to make sure he had plenty of people to love him, since Harry didn't get that and Harry didn't know how to be a dad, he still has trouble with things. I know it'll be hard when James comes home, Harry has no point of reference, his Aunt and Uncle were terrible...anyway, I am good with Teddy because I have adored him since I've known him." Hermione thought back to living there with all of them, it had been chaos but also lovely, she missed them all sometimes. The staff at Hogwarts were nice and cordial, but she missed talking about life the way they all used to.

"Petunia was always nasty." Severus remarked.

"I forget sometimes you knew her as a child. I always imagined some buzzard just shat her out as a crotchety forty year old." He laughed then, a real laugh like she'd never heard before.

"You've said it, that takes it all." She turned and kissed him, loving the way he looked with a genuine smile on his face.

"I'm glad I made you laugh, it's quite a lovely sound."

"I'm glad you adore people, especially me."

"Now who's the romantic?" Hermione jest, kissing him again, then finding herself getting sleepy again.

"Perhaps, for you I can be a tinge romantic, but don't expect hearts and flowers around my chambers." His voice lulled her to sleep. That night she dreamt of a little girl with long brown hair, wavy and dark, and large hazel eyes, so remarkable she couldn't get them out of her mind. She'd been in a field of sunflowers, barely tall enough to see over them, and out of nowhere Severus came to scoop her up, carrying her to a picnic table where she was putting out lunch. He held the little girl on his lap, telling her about the flowers and herbs they'd picked. When she woke, she shivered against him, hoping that her hormones would calm down. She'd never dreamt of a child before, so she chalked it up to her musings on Teddy and meeting sweet James.

(((())))

When Severus came down for breakfast, he found Hermione brushing Teddy's hair and helping him into his play clothes. They'd already eaten and were heading outside so Hermione could watch him fly. He felt every morsel of her effortless love.

"I've left you a plate and tea." She stood on her toes to kiss and him and walked out the door, watching her put her arm around Teddy as they went. He caught up with them twenty minutes later, listening to Hermione laugh as Teddy did small tricks on his broom which went about four feet off the ground. Hermione tossed things at him, seeing if he could block or catch them.

"Do you want to play?" Teddy called out to Severus, who noticed four brooms in the cupboard. He took one and joined Teddy in the air, trying to stay at the same height.

"Come on, Aunt Hermione, you know you want to fly." Hermione shook her head and continued throwing objects to Teddy.

"No, I do not. You've been trying for four years, Teddy, I don't fly." They stayed out for several hours before Hermione received an owl from Harry that they would be home by dinner.

"Want to help make dinner?" She yelled up to Teddy, who immediately flew down and took her hand, putting his broom in the cupboard. They made dinner and she made sure the nursery was well stocked with nappies and clean clothes. When they arrived, she took James so Ginny and Harry could eat, thankful Severus was there to help with dinner.

"Teddy helped with the mash and the pudding." She said, snuggling the baby in her arms. Harry and Ginny looked exhausted.

"Thanks, it's delicious." Harry said, ruffling Teddy's hair.

"I've got him if you want to go sleep, Ginny." Hermione watched her nod happily.

"Mum will be here tomorrow for a while, we can't thank you enough for taking care of our Teddy." She kissed Teddy and then Hermione's cheek, running her hand softly over James's forehead before attempting the stairs. Harry leapt up, taking her in his arms and carrying her up the stairs. Hermione had to admit it was rather romantic seeing her friends so happy in love.

"Teddy, do you want to hold James?" Hermione asked, going into the den. He followed her, she put two pillows on either side of Teddy and then placed the baby in his arms.

"Make sure you hold his head up, great job." She knelt in front of him, watching Teddy's face search James's, seeing the look of wonder.

"He sure is small." They both laughed as James stretched again, unnerving Teddy for a moment.

"Someday he'll be big enough to fly with you and that'll be so fun." Teddy handed James back to Hermione, going back to the dining room to help Severus clean up the dinner. She heard them talking about playing chess in the morning as she sat quietly with James, thinking about her dream. When Teddy ran up the stairs, she reminded him to brush his teeth, then Severus came into the den with her.

"Would you like to hold him?" She asked, gauging his interest. Surprisingly, he nodded and sat next to her.

"I've only held two babies in my entire life, Draco and this one's father, but both were much older. Harry was over a year and Draco was just under, this seems marginally easier." James tucked into Severus's arm nicely, but he looked quite uncomfortable.

"You held him the night his parents were killed?"

"Yes, he was terribly upset, screaming and in pain I'm sure, he'd just had a piece of the Dark Lord's soul thrust into his head. I held him until Dumbledore got there, then he had Hagrid take him to Petunia. It was a devastating night." Lily had died leaving only the boy who belonged to another man, of course he'd been devastated.

"He may not remember that, but he does recall everything else you've done for him, you know." She put her arm around him and stared at James over his shoulder. Severus did not respond, simply handed James back to her, she was surprised he'd lasted so long. They turned out the lights and went up the stairs, her to the nursery and he to her room. When James finally woke up, Harry came to get him, in a haze.

"Thank you, Hermione, truly." At least Ginny had gotten a few hours of uninterrupted sleep. Hermione kissed James and then went to her room, where she found Severus completely knocked out. He didn't even rouse when she crawled in next to him, curling against him, her mind racing. She dreamt of the little girl again that night.

Severus left to take care of things at Hogwarts but Hermione remained to help Ginny however she could, Molly arrived and relieved Hermione. It worked this way in shifts for several weeks, Hermione going back to Hogwarts when she felt overwhelmed or in the way, sending her final proposal off. She found that she loved being in her quarters again, but missed Teddy and James, the sweetness of the boys and her friends. Returning to her lab gave her reprieve and she found herself again, feeling completely at home in her notebooks and potions, standing over a bubbling cauldron, her hair a mess and her mind whirling. In the evenings, when Severus was working on correspondence or plans for the school, Hermione worked on lessons and refining her papers for the first potions she would be required to brew. Their quiet companionship made her mind ease and she felt at home.


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's note: I own nothing you recognize! SS obviously has a hard time with Christmas! I'm going back to work full time this week, so my updates may be a little slower. Don't fret, however because I'm already editing the next chapter. So far this work has over 104,000 words, so there's still much of the story to tell. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and those who are reading- I appreciate all of you!**

 ***I've gotten a couple pm's and a review about Hermione's reaction and interpretation of Severus' behavior throughout, but especially in this chapter. She has a lot of maturing to do and he has issues, like communication, that need work. Even though she is at fault often, she cannot always see it and that strains her relationship, which I believe is realistic. Eventually, she will recognize this, but it doesn't happen overnight for her. They both have a lot of growing to do before they work as equal partners. I promise, this story has a very happy, satisfying ending!**

 **Chapter 8**

July blended quickly into August and Hermione found herself at Grimmauld Place far more frequently than she had anticipated. Severus often came with her once Harry went back to work, helping Ginny whenever she could, Hermione did whatever she could. She knew once the semester resumed, she wouldn't be able to go to Grimmauld Place as often, so she wanted to help as long as she could. One evening, Severus was stuck at Hogwarts finishing up some renovation business, she was alone with James as Harry and Ginny had decided to take Teddy for ice cream as a treat to spend special time with him. About twenty minutes into their departure, Ron apparated on the doorstep and came through.

"Oh, you're here. Where are they?" He looked rather surprised to see Hermione sitting in the den with James, rocking him gently as he slept.

"They'll be back soon, they've taken Teddy to get ice cream. There's shepherd's pie if you want some." Ron walked over to her and looked down at his nephew.

"I can't believe he has that much hair, he already looks like Harry." Hermione laughed, James did have Harry's unruly mop, much like the pictures of his grandfather as well, but he it looked like he would have Ginny's eyes, hazel brown. Ron ran his hand over James's hair, kneeling down at Hermione's side and staring at the baby. It wasn't his first nephew, he'd been around his nieces and nephews quite a bit, but James was special; his best friend and sister had produced this child and he was currently in the arms of someone he loved deeply.

"Poor kid." Ron laughed, reaching for him. Hermione reluctantly handed him over as she heard the door open again, and felt the rush of warmish air from the outside. Severus rounded the corner to the den and saw her handing James over to Ron.

"There's dinner, hold on." She kissed James on the head and followed Severus to the kitchen, where she'd saved him some shepherd's pie and pudding.

"Ginny and Harry have taken Teddy for ice cream so I'm watching James. How was your day?" She received an eye roll and grimace, his knife and fork delicately slicing through the lamb as though he were performing surgery.

"That well, huh? Can I do anything?" Surprisingly, he put his knife down and reached for her hand, taking it in his and smiling as only he could towards her.

"You are doing enough." She did feel rather ragged biding her time between Hogwarts and 12 Grimmauld Place, helping with Teddy and James, and trying to work on potions work. In an effortless step, Hermione swooped in and kissed Severus on the cheek as Ron came through, handing James back; she saw something cross his face, jealousy? Anger? She couldn't tell, but as soon as James was in her arms, she didn't care to dissect Ron's feelings.

"It wouldn't hurt you to learn to change a nappy, Ron. Your future wife will find it quite charming, you know." Hermione held the baby tight to her chest and carried him up the stairs, hearing a slight scuffle in the kitchen as she went,and finding James a comfy spot on his changing table. She heard steps following her up the stairs and felt him standing at the door.

"Your friend broke two plates and a cup, not very steady for an Auror." The annoyance dripped from his tongue as he spoke.

"I'm sure he's still jealous about you, but there's no hope for it. I've already begged Harry to set him up." Hermione replied, changing James and then resting him against her shoulder, his head cradled in her hand gently. Severus hadn't known this facet of her personality, there had been so reason to know it before James arrived, but he could see now how empathic and loving she was.

"He should be thankful I hold my position at Hogwarts, bloody idiot." She smirked, coming to his side and kissing him properly, James nudged against him.

"Will you hold him?" Taking a seat in the lounger, Severus held his arms out and took James. Hermione disappeared almost instantly to use the washroom and when she returned, both the dark-haired fellows looked tired.

"Here, let me lay him down." But Severus could see she was just as tired, so he carried the baby to the crib and deposited him, covering him lightly with the blanket Minerva had made for him of red and yellow. It wasn't in his nature to be nurturing, but it was easy to care for something that didn't talk back or cause too much trouble.

"I've charmed the room, come on." Hermione took his hands and they climbed the stairs to her room. As soon as they crossed the threshold, Severus's hands were in her hair, undoing her braid and gently running his fingers through to loosen the curls, eventually his arms circled her shoulders and he placed a soft kiss on her left cheek as Hermione reached up to his arms and held them. It was simple moments with him that reminded her why she'd come to appreciate him so, he was confusing and contrite, often cross when he had no intention of being so, but she couldn't fault him for years of living a double life, serving two masters and feeling little or no affection from those who were meant to. It made her want to shower him with affection, to even go beyond her own comfort zone and try to surround him with so much adoration that he couldn't possibly doubt her, but she thought not. A soft knock forced them both to turn towards her door.

"Aunt Hermione?" She heard Teddy's soft voice and broke free from Severus to open the door.

"Did you have so much fun?" He handed her a bag of candy from Honeydukes and hugged her tightly. She ushered him from the door as he waved towards Severus and took him to his room. By the time she returned to her own, Severus was asleep, curled around one of her pillows in his full clothes. Gently waking him, she unbuttoned his frock coat and pushed it gingerly over his shoulders, bringing his arms through as though she was undressing Teddy or James, she took her time and eased him back, unbuckling his belt and undoing the buttons of his trousers, pulling them off as gently as she had his shirt. In his daze, he pulled her up to him, coupling her face in his hands and taking her lips with his.

"You're too good to me." He whispered against her lips. Hermione rolled off him to change her clothes, removing her dress and slip for a soft tank and shorts, crawling next to Severus in the bed, she hugged him once more and rolled over, feeling his hand rest on her hip, the gentlest of pressure, a simple comfort.

(((())))

Weeks later, when school was in session and her potions work doubled, Hermione found herself longing for evenings with Severus when she could curl next to him and read or research without pressure, and too feel his hands on her in such a sweet and simple way. Although she still saw him at meals, in between classes, and on Sundays, she felt like their relationship was in limbo. Would the next three years be this way, a constant push and pull of intimacy and distance. It might not have even crossed her mind so often if it hadn't been for spending so much time with Harry and Ginny all summer, their effortless love so clear and evident. Ginny was not exceptionally girly but when Harry entered a room, especially holding their son, she melted, her eyes brightened and her smile became lopsided. They still loved and liked each other. In those moments of doubt and second-guessing, Hermione wondered if she would ever see that in Severus. She did not expect romance, a constant detailing of how much he could possibly love her, but she did want to feel more reassured about him. Though she felt confident that he wasn't interested in anyone else, to remind herself she read and re-read his letter.

Her birthday had been a nice reprieve. Harry and Ginny had sent her a german chocolate cake and several nice presents, pictures of Teddy and James, and a new placard for her desk. Severus took her to Hogsmeade for dinner and then stayed the night with her, with made her birthday even that more special. Twenty-five was starting off quite well, she had to admit.

When her first practical arrived in December, Hermione was so nervous she almost vomited as a board member from the Potioneers came to test her knowledge. She was thankful she only had three practicals, though it meant not passing one was practically failure. As the board member gave her instructions, Hermione imagined Severus giving them to her, his nature so changed from his days as her potions professor when they were brewing together, and that eased her mind. She was to brew four potions from random, choosing them magically from a cauldron. After eight hours of brewing, Hermione handed her potions to the reviewer and stepped away from her station, her hands dry and cracked, her hair frizzled from the humidity of the Pepperup she'd had to brew, and her mind reeling. What if she'd failed?

The reviewer, who never gave his name and was obviously wearing a glamour, checked all four potions with an interesting tool she knew she'd have to ask Severus about and looked up to her as he finished, handing her a letter and then left the laboratory. It was all rather quick once she'd finished and handed them over, but her heart handed slowed at all. After she cleaned the lab, she avoided dinner for the comfort of her quarters, took her letter and saw that she had received all the equivalent of O's for her potions, and fell hard against her bed, not bothering to remove her clothes or wash up. Her emotions got the best of her as she lay there, the stress of preparing for a practical while still trying to research a cure for lycanthropy and still teaching her courses, even though she'd taken Severus's advice about the sixth and seventh years helping with infirmary potions, it was all a bit much in the moment. Lost in thought, she slipped into much needed sleep, forgetting it was Sunday and that her one full day with Severus was lost. Hours later, she didn't feel him crawl into bed with her but when she woke in the morning, she was quite pleased to find him there, his face mere inches from hers as one of his eyes opened.

"When did you come in?" She asked yawning and stretching, embarrassed to be in her clothes from the previous day.

"Around eleven, some Hufflepuffs were playing some new infernal Weasley game and two had to be sent to the infirmary and their parents alerted. I didn't see you at dinner, or lunch for that matter." He sounded put out, but she could see on his face that he was teasing her.

"My reviewer was a taskmaster, he barely let me leave to use the washroom." Propping herself on her elbow, she leaned down to kiss him, so thankful he was there.

"And how did it go?"

"Well, I passed this portion, only two more to go and defending my final project, if I ever actually accomplish anything with it." One more quick kiss and she was up, undressing and walking to the shower, beckoning him to join her.

"Ambitious as it is, you've already accomplished enough in the field, making strides others haven't in a century. You will pass and then there will be two Potions Masters at this school." He remarked, lathering her hair.

"Will you fire me if I don't?"

"Of course, chucked out to Hogsmeade and no letter of reference." She laughed against him, her soapy arms sliding against his skin.

"I'm sorry I missed our Sunday, I was so tired last night, can we have tea after dinner tonight?"

"Don't apologize, you had much more important matters than entertaining me. I have a meeting with Sinistra this evening, perhaps tomorrow?" Hermione stilled from rinsing her hair, a twinge of jealousy ran through her though she knew she was quite silly. She gave him a smile and nod, but felt put off. Hermione knew that there would always be budgets of time for them, even when she finished her work in potions, being the headmaster kept Severus busy, but she longed for more. Instead of adding to his burden and for fear of sounding insipid, she simply finished washing and toweled off, brushing her hair and drying it quickly with her wand. She picked maroon robes and found her favorite earrings.

"See you in the Great Hall." She kissed him as he left, the extra robes he left in her room getting good use. Pensively, she sat down to write a letter, but she didn't know to whom. Ginny was so preoccupied with James, Ron would be ill if he knew what she was really feeling, and her other friends had gotten on with their lives. For a moment, she felt quite alone and lonely. The staff at Hogwarts were kind and welcoming, but there was a disconnect as none were really close enough to her age and none, aside from Aurora Sinistra, knew about her relationship with the headmaster, though she wouldn't have minded if the did. Instead of writing a letter, Hermione decided instead to start a separate journal for personal things instead of research. Until she felt more comfortable expressing herself directly to Severus, she knew that writing her feelings down would be a welcome outlet to bottling it up. About forty-five minutes later, after several pages of questions and emoting words, she shut her journal and left it on her desk.

The walk to the Great Hall was a pleasant one, she passed many students in her first class who seemed eager enough to learn and saw her seat next to Severus open. When she sat, she poured her pumpkin juice and eyed the food, choosing eggs and bacon for starters and a slice of toast. As per normal, she felt Severus's leg graze her own and for a moment her concerns were assuaged. There was no doubt he liked her, it was evident whenever they were together, but she wasn't quite sure if he wanted the "more" that she did, even if she knew she'd have to wait two and a half years for it. It was then Hermione realized she needed a break, perhaps at Christmas she would go to France, visit the places her parents had taken her when she was a girl. It made her feel lighter just thinking of it, escaping for a few days to breath in Paris and look at art, to walk the stairs to Montmartre and or pray in the Sacre Coeur. It was a splendid idea, she admitted, her mouth watering just thinking of the crepes.

"Professor Granger, how did your practical go?" Professor Flitwick, to her right, asked.

"Well, I passed the first round, so I have another year to prepare for the second, though I know it will be far more difficult. Thank you for asking." He nodded and pressed on, asking which potions she was asked to brew. They continued in conversation until it was time for classes. Before rising she wished Severus a good day and continued to her classroom, happy that she'd found a small solution to her feelings.

The students left on a brisk Tuesday, the snow deep enough for elaborate snowmen and snowball fights. Christmas eve, Hermione and Severus left the castle together and apparated to 12 Grimmauld Place, their presents for secret santa in tow. Immediately, Teddy ran to Hermione who almost dropped her present.

"I've missed you too, darling, it's been so long." Setting her present on the coffee table, Hermione sat with Teddy on the floor, hugging him and asking him how his primary school was going. He looked so much like Tonks when he spoke about school, until he hinted at mischievous things and then it was as though Remus's genes overpowered Tonks'.

"Have you been helping with James?" Teddy nodded and took her over to his chair, where he was sitting surprisingly well. She scooped him up and kissed his cheeks.

"Oh, James, you've grown too much. Aunt Hermione barely recognizes you." It made her a bit misty when she looked at him, he was five months old and looking more like Harry every day, his ruffled hair still as wild as it had been at birth. Even though she knew there were many people who wanted to hold him, Hermione held him as long as she could, finding Severus talking to Kingsley about another grant he wanted to apply for. James laughed as Kingsley tickled his little legs, which forced Hermione to laugh as well. Severus even smiled.

"He's such a sweet baby, Ginny, I don't think I could ever put him down."

"That's because he isn't walking yet, but I promise he has a little Weasley in him, he's going to be a trickster like his uncles Fred and George." Upon hearing his name, George walked over and took James from Hermione and walked to his wife, Angelina, who was trying to smooth their daughter's hair.

"Help me?" Ginny asked Hermione, leading her into the kitchen. "What's up? You haven't written and Snape?" Hermione tried to sheepishly grab the bowl of peas without getting too upset.

"I don't know if I am hormonal or what, but I feel so odd right now, like I am behind somehow. I don't know how to explain it, I see you, Ron, and Harry, in careers and you've finished your training, and I have two and a half more years, and I think I love Severus, but it's so complicated at work." Hermione's eyes filled as she spoke. "I didn't want to bother you because you have so much going on, but I'm in such a weird place right now and I don't know how to talk to him." Ginny took the peas from Hermione and hugged her. "I feel so silly for crying, there is nothing wrong with my life, and I'm not unhappy."

"You love him?" Ginny asked, as she handed Hermione a towel.

"Yes and I feel so idiotic because, well, now I understand how Ron felt all those years, wanting more. He hasn't said he doesn't, it's just, our jobs. How can it ever be normal for us? If I leave Hogwarts after I finish, I'll never see him, we're in the same building and I rarely see him now. I mean meals and weekend, sometimes, but even then. I never thought I would feel like this, before I couldn't wait to be alone and now, I want that same quiet, the research, the reflection, but I want him there. Am I daft?" It was Ginny's turn to cry, hugging Hermione tightly.

"I've never seen you like this, Hermione. You must love him." As soon as she'd said it, Ginny wiped her eyes and felt Harry behind her.

"What has you two upset?"

"Nothing, we're just getting the side dishes." Ginny smiled at him, kissed his lips, and popped his behind as he walked back into the dining room with the roast.

"After being married, I would say you need to talk to him, maybe without tears knowing him, but definitely say something."

"I just don't want to add one more thing to his overflowing plate, he's always so busy." Hermione wiped her eyes and checked her reflection in the pan hanging from the wall, feeling as silly as she looked. Maybe patience was all she needed, maybe she was making too much of nothing.

"Let's get this food out, we can talk more later." Hermione nodded and followed GInny from the kitchen, her face still a little red and puffy; it was obvious she'd been crying, but she avoided talking to her friends and family, getting the food from the kitchens and then sitting across from Severus, George on her right and Harry on her left. Once Harry toasted everyone, they tucked in. Once it came to presents, Hermione took hers to Molly Weasley, a fine set of knitting needles with yarn from India. Surprisingly, Hermione turned to find Ron with a gift.

"I haven't gotten to talk to you much this year, but here." She took the oddly wrapped package and opened it slowly, Ron's gaze burrowing into her. When she finally saw what it was, she realized why the package had been wrapped so oddly. It was a kitten.

"Ron!" Hermione threw her arms around him and kissed his cheek, staring down at her new familiar, a black cat.

"She's a girl, they had several in Hogsmeade and I knew, well since Crookshanks, you'd like a new one." Hermione hugged him again, squeezing his hand before taking the kitten and holding her tightly.

"What are we going to call you?" Hermione immediately looked over to Severus who was receiving his gift from Rolf, Luna's husband, and saw that he was watching her intensely. She held up the kitten and saw his lip curl into a rare smile, unwrapping his own gift, a rather fine set of dragonhide gloves. There were so many people between them, but Hermione wanted nothing more than to kiss him. The kitten gently meowed in her hands, purring as she took the blanket from the box she'd been in and wrapping her tight. Laughing wildly, Teddy came over to pet the kitten.

"You have to be gentle with her, she's tiny." Teddy pet her softly then pointed to James.

"I bet he would like a pet." Teddy took her hand and dragged Hermione over to James who was being held by Fleur, who didn't seem too keen about the kitten.

"James loves her." Hermione laughed, watching James smile and coo at the kitten, trying to grab her ears.

Once everything settled and the guests left, Hermione and Severus ascended the stairs with the kitten and other gifts. Hermione immediately transfigured a small litter pan for the kitten until she could teach her about the doors and trails to the backyard.

"I cannot believe he came up with something so thoughtful." Hermione remarked, petting the kitten who was sleeping on her night shoes.

"Indeed." Severus unbuttoned his shirt and tossed it aside, taking his shoes off as well.

"I wonder if Ginny told him or Harry. Either way, she's lovely." Hermione took her jumper off revealing a rather lacy black bra. "But not as lovely as you." Tucking her fingers into the band of his trousers, she pulled him close, kissing his chin as she did. He didn't exactly shy away from her, but something seemed off.

"What is it?" She finally asked, when he had barely put his arms around her.

"I...don't know. I..." His words wounded her and she released him...was this the culmination of all her insecurities? Had be been actively pulling away from her all term? She felt her ire burn, she felt all of her emotions brewing under her skin, but instead of lashing out at him, she simply sat on the bed, removing her shoes and pants, reaching for the silly Christmas nightgown she'd worn almost every year since she left for Hogwarts at eleven. Pulling it over her head, she refused to meet his eye, to acknowledge that he was even in the room. Instead, she transfigured two bowls for the kitten and filled one with water from her glass and the other food Ron had left in the box. All she wanted to do was wrap him in her arms again, to feel his wrapped just as tightly around her, but he stood motionless and silent watching her.

Thoughts ravaged her. Was he jealous about Ron? Was he seriously considering their relationship at a loss? She hated his silence. Why couldn't he just say what was bothering him because it was obvious something was wrong.

"Can you just say something? Please." Hermione pulled her legs to her chest wrapping her arms around them and remembering the previous Christmas, when a simple smirk from Ginny had led to almost two months of misunderstanding. She felt worse in realizing that she'd only hours before admitted to Ginny that she loved him, and he was there before her, standing awkwardly next to the desk where she'd worked so hard during slumped in the desk chair and eyed her, though she was still staring at her feet, trying not to cry, even though it was impossible since she'd already cried once that day.

"I'm leaving for France tomorrow, I can't remember if I told you. Perhaps while I am gone, you can figure out what it is that you don't know." She was proud of herself for the absence of a quiver in her voice. Uncurling her legs, she moved to the other side of the bed, finally looking at him, his face expressionless, and buried herself beneath the covers, angrier than she could imagine. If he was upset or angry, he needed to voice those feelings. If he wanted to end things, he needed to be strong enough to admit it. Her tears started as she turned off the lights, but she didn't care. It didn't bother her at all that he could hear her sniffling and she tried little to stop them flowing. When he finally lay in the bed next to her, she scooted as far away from him as she could, wanting to punish him for making her feel so stupid, but he tentatively reached for her, trying to smooth their misunderstanding. He felt so overwhelmed by how much he cared for her, by her obvious feelings for him, and though he wanted to express all of that to her, he simply could not. He spent the greater part of the night realizing that he'd been ignoring her, pushing her away again out of some invisible fear that needn't exist, and he felt the weight of guilt press him further into the mattress.

(((())))

The next morning, Hermione woke first, quietly grabbing her things and leaving her present for Severus on the desk with a note. She walked down the stairs, leaving her other presents for the Potters and Teddy, and left Grimmauld Place. Kitten in tow, she walked two blocks to her scheduled portkey and found herself happily in France only moments later.

Between St. Malo and Paris, Hermione found her five days quite calm and lovely, entirely the peace and quiet she needed, though she hadn't anticipated being so forlorn about Severus. Sometimes, his behavior confused her so supremely, this would make the third time he'd pushed her away, even if he hadn't been able to vocalize it. And it made her worry and wonder if he her affections were misplaced. Perhaps when she returned, she truly needed to cut ties with him.

Harry and Ginny sent letters, Ginny's especially long, detailing the odd conversation they had with Severus when he came down for breakfast, that she'd never seen him so quiet and despondent. Hermione wrote back quickly that he'd completely cooled and refused to speak with her the night of Christmas Eve. Hermione tried to push thoughts of him from her mind and enjoy her time with Minka, the name she'd chosen for her kitten, and walking the streets of Paris. She stayed in the bohemian district and drank coffee and ate bread, reading about Parisian potioneers and their works towards curing other diseases, though none had attempted lycanthropy. When it was time for her to return to Hogwarts, she dreaded the conversations he would have to have with Severus, because she wasn't letting him off the hook this time. Last time, she'd avoided him like the plague, and this time she refused. If he couldn't be forward, she would have to be.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author's note: I own nothing you recognize! I've fashioned some of this story after one of my dear friends who did marry her professor and who found their lives quite complicated for years because of the scrutiny they faced. Although her husband had not lived the life SS did, it was an interesting impetus for the difficulties SS/HG face. Thanks for reading!**

 **Chapter 9**

Only moments after she arrived at the gates of Hogwarts, he was there, like she'd seen him so many times waiting for her return from Hogsmeade. He looked tired, but her heart wasn't ready to feel sorry for him, so she carried her things to her quarters, acknowledging him with a slight nod. Minka trailed her slowly and Hermione watched as she took in all the sites around her, explaining where they were going and where Minka could go for treats or to meet other familiars. When she came to her door, she looked down at the kitten who seemed entranced.

"This is our home, well for now, always remember where it is." Minka meowed and followed Hermione through the doors. Severus was directly behind them, but he stood in the doorframe and watched her settle her things. Her room appeared in order, though it always felt different each time she returned after being away. She saw some presents on her desk and her journal, her personal journal open. She wondered if Severus had read it, her ramblings about her feelings before Christmas, her fears and insecurities about being away from him and longing for him to be more forthright. When she finally noticed him in the door frame, she smirked and went to her washroom, splashing her face and finding him in one of the leather chairs as she returned, Minka curled on his lap purring.

"Traitor." She whispered at her sweet kitten before settling across from him. He was wearing particularly muggle clothes, she noted, she was as well, jeans, a jumper, and trainers, which she kicked off and sent to her wardrobe. Pulling her hair back into a ponytail, Hermione snapped her fingers, turning her light on and an elf appeared.

"Tea please, are you staying?" He nodded. "Two, and sandwiches, the turkey, please." The elf scampered away as Hermione took her journal from her desk and returned to her chair, setting her ink on the arm rest. Minka noticed the quill and jumped down, but Hermione sent her back to Severus. "Quills are not for kittens." Hermione stated, hearing a slight rumble from the kitten as she deposited herself on Snape's lap again. The elf came back with their tea, Hermione poured hers and added a splash of milk, thankful to have tea after all the coffee she'd had in France.

"Are you going to talk or are we going to sit in silence? Only, I don't mind, I just want to know what to expect." His eyes narrowed, almost ready to throw some cruelty at her, but he realized that she didn't deserve it.

"I am here to apologize." He finally said, drinking his tea, and studying her. Hermione set her teacup down and shut her journal, willing him to continue.

"Apologize? For what?" She bated, as though she hadn't been waiting for a week to talk to him.

"Christmas, I was unkind and distant." An easy answer, she thought. It seemed dull and unfeeling, as though a student came in to tell her he couldn't complete an essay because he forgot it was due.

"Can you explain? Because I remember that part, but I don't remember an explanation, unless you'd rather not." She crossed her legs, her feet becoming cold on her stone floor, so used her wand to start a fire and felt better. Severus's face was now as expressionless as it had been that night; perhaps she was pushing too hard again? He did look quite uncomfortable.

"Fine...let me guess. Were you jealous about Ron? I kissed his cheek and hugged him, I can see how that would be distressing. Was it Teddy or James? Have I been too preoccupied with them? Or is it something else entirely, do you simply hate Christmas and being asked to Harry's house each year makes you bonkers?" He seemed to contemplate her words, but didn't immediately respond.

"Because I can tell you what I don't know, I don't know if this is working for me, Severus." She said it, she admitted that she was unsure and unhappy. "If you'd told me last summer that I would be sitting in my quarters, across from a man I love, unable to see him for more than a few hours a week, sometimes more if I am lucky, and wondering if he will ever want more than that, I would say you were crazy. But, maybe I am crazy." She finished her tea and poured another glass...wait, had she just said she loved him? 'Great', she thought, 'now I look even more the fool.' He set his cup down and stared at her, his hands on his armrest. Minutes passed and he still hadn't said anything, her patience was waning and she was afraid she would say something far worse.

"If you want to leave, you can, I can take your silence as all the answer I need." Taking her journal again, she ripped pages out, throwing them into the fire. What did her insipid feelings mean anymore, even if it had all been another misunderstanding, it didn't matter, none of it mattered.

"I thought we weren't going to do this again." She threw the entire journal into the fire, watching her words melt into ash. For the first time that week, she didn't feel like crying. It was New Year's Eve and she could think of nothing to celebrate except that she was one day closer to finishing her training. In her empathy, she tried to imagine what he was feeling. If it was that Christmas was a bad time for him, why couldn't he just explain that to her instead of getting weird.

"You love me?" He suddenly said, taking her attention from the fire to his face, his eyes were fathomless and bleak, as though he were dying on the floor of the Shrieking Shack again. She had gone too far.

"Yes I love you, but right now I don't very much like you because you make me crazy." She took a large bite of her turkey sandwich and swallowed more of her tea, eyeing him the entire time.

"Why did your burn your work?" He asked, not commenting on her remarks, instead processing what he'd watched as she struggled with his silence.

"It wasn't my work, actually, it was my personal journal, full of nonsense." The implication made him frown, the curl of his lip turning in a way she hadn't seen before. She was hoping it meant that he would explain himself.

"I am not particularly adept at expressing myself, as I am sure you know, but we've moved into territory that I find I have no experience, it's…" He paused and folded his hands together, looking ever the menacing man he'd been to her when she was younger. "I did not realize I was distancing myself again until Christmas Eve, it made me ill to think that I had done this again. It wasn't your work or your family and friends, it was me. I find that sometimes I am incapable of being, well, normal I guess, and when I could tell that your feelings, and mine, had changed, I pushed you away."

"So, why didn't you say that instead of making me fill in the blanks for myself, because I am adept, Severus, I can make myself believe many things." Her heart fluttered and broke for a moment, he seemed so incredibly broken as she looked at him.

"It didn't quite register at first, it took the night and then you left, and I felt alone."

"And you could've followed me or written." Hermione refused to give an inch, she didn't know if she could keep putting herself through the emotional turmoil of being the one to effectively bring Severus out of his shell.

"I admit seeing you with Weasley did ruffle my feathers." A shiver ran through him that Hermione recognized immediately.

"Be that as it may, I am still quite confused." She wanted him to say again that he'd been distancing himself, that he'd avoided her, even if it hadn't been purposely. Would this be their life for eternity, falling further in and then being blast from the chasm?

"I have no experience, Hermione, I find myself feeling inadequate and it is worrisome."

"You think I don't have the same feelings? My major relationships are two: one Bulgarian who was the first boy to admire me for my looks and my brain, and one Weasley who didn't value me at all, not more than a friend he pawed at whenever possible. No great loves, no real passion, nothing like Harry and Ginny, they may be young but their marriage is strong, mutually beneficial, they respond to each other's needs like no one else I know, except maybe Molly and Arthur. Oh, and the boy who took my virginity, a virtual stranger. That's it, no other passion, no other experience." She wanted nothing more than to join him, to sit on his lap and curl her fingers in his hair and try to assuage his feelings, but she couldn't.

"I understand your viewpoint, I really do, but there are two of us in this and I can't keep worrying every six months or so that you're going to disappear. The war is over, I don't want to lose you to a fear." It almost made her cry, to imagine him during the war, spying and trying to survive, neither master truly treating him with the respect he deserved. She thought of his life before, his adoration and love for Lily Evans, the pain of losing her and knowing that everything he'd tried to do to save her had failed. Even knowing all of this, though, Hermione's heart was bruised and certainly in no shape to open her arms to him.

"I dated a woman after the war, she was one of Minerva's friends from Glasgow. She was my age, though hadn't fought in two wars, she'd been in America for the second one and hidden during the first, I found myself jealous of that often. More to the point, she was my first substantial relationship since the war and she wanted something I wasn't ready to give, so we parted ways. It was amicable enough, though she was angry with me, as you are." Her eyes immediately snapped to his and felt combative.

"I was angry, now I am...I don't know." She crossed her legs under her and leaned on her elbow, she was tired and weary from traveling, but she wanted him to hear it all, even if he walked away. "Severus, if I am being completely honest, I am quite pulled in many directions; potions, teachings, correspondence, family, and you...I think of you when I make a decision, because I want you to be part of my life, like my family and friends, and this semester…" she sighed and rubbed her eyes, not crying, just tired. "We have responsibilities and we are both dedicated people, you're the most loyal person I know, but that doesn't mean we can't carve something for ourselves, here, in our rooms. I look forward to my time with you, even if it means we only read or drink tea. And I don't know what will happen years from now or even if there will be an us years from now, but the idea that there is could be is far more comforting than sitting in this room alone." A stray curl fell in her vision as she spoke, but she smoothed it back, eating more of her sandwich before she said more because it was his turn to speak.

"Loyalty, huh?"

"Not to me." She spat, wishing she hadn't said it so cruelly, but she felt the pain of his distance, the worrisome distance.

"I would have no other above you, Hermione, neither this castle nor this job." She knew that was as close as he was going to get to admitting that he loved her.

"It doesn't appear that way." She finished her sandwich and drank her tea, preparing for his own cruelty. "Look, I am not asking you to tell me everyday how much you admire me, but I need more reassurance, validation. I don't want to always feel that I am…" Suddenly, an image of Ron saying almost the same words resounded through her mind, the way he'd looked when she said no to him. The difference was, Hermione had always been more vocal towards Ron.

"What?" He asked, petting Minka and leaning forward slightly towards her, desperate to kiss her lips.

"I know the feeling to let someone down, to not love them as much as they love you. I don't want that, it's a terrible cruelty- to the one who loves too much and the one who cannot love enough." Minka jumped down as Severus sighed, pulling his hands to his face. Hermione had finally said her biggest fear aloud.

"I'm not asking you about your feelings right now, you're obviously raw, but what I need to know is, is this something you want to walk from, it would make my next two and a half years a lot easier if I knew now." He looked at her, his head still cupped in his hands, this was the vulnerable Severus she rarely saw, one she knew he kept hidden. The light reflecting from his face made him look like a teenager, young and inexperienced, naive even. It took everything she had not to walk to him, to hug him and take what she needed.

"Of course not, I'm just bloody terrible at being a spouse. The fact that you're even asking tells me how terrible I've been." He sat straight and smoothed his muggle shirt, it was an odd green, she'd rarely seen him in a light green before or out of black for that matter. His khaki pants really threw her off.

"Were you with muggles today?" She asked, looking him over once more and deciding to change the subject before he imploded.

"Visiting potential first years, a few muggle families were none too pleased to received their Hogwarts letters, so Aurora visited a few and I did as well." She had a good laugh, thinking of him showing up at her door when she'd gotten her letter, but no one from Hogwarts ever came when she was a kid.

"I'm sure the parents appreciate it, well at least the kids do. If you ever need me to go, as you and Aurora are both half blood or more, being a muggleborn might make it easier."

"Clever one, Granger, you might just have another job to do." She rolled her eyes and smiled, trying to soften herself. Severus appeared to soften as well, leaning back in his chair once more and pushing his hair away from his face. They both stared at each other, neither willing to break eye contact, his eyes were still sad, she could see the anguish in him. She had to admit to herself that loving him meant she would have to learn him, to not jump to conclusions, and to be more vocal when she felt him pulling away. She knew it was getting late, but she didn't want him to leave, but she didn't want to have sex with him either, she felt like it would send the wrong message, and she had no idea if he would even want that. Snapping for an elf, Hermione was glad to see Winky.

"The sandwiches were lovely, thank you Winky." As Winky cleaned up and disappeared, Hermione turned her bathroom light off with a simple flick of her wrist and returned her attention to Severus and his tired eyes.

"I'm pretty exhausted, care to table this discussion for another time?" Hermione reached for him, deciding that in the moment, she didn't care what kind of message it sent to him, she just wanted comfort and his arms around her. He stood and took her hand, as firmly as he normally would and kicked off his shoes. She let him undress himself and they both climbed under her covers. Severus took her hand again and kissed it softly, his thumb running over her knuckles as he did, and sighing like the weight of the world was once again on his shoulders.

"I cannot promise I won't do this again, I only hope you will forgive me." It was Hermione's turn to sigh, knowing that she made of strong stuff, she just didn't know if she was made of strong enough stuff to go through the anguish again, the knowing and not knowing.

"Can you at least try to speak to me; it's the silence that makes things worse, even if all you can say is 'space' or 'I'm sorry', anything would be better than nothing." She wanted to kiss him, to pull him close and hold him, but Hermione needed him to make those moves, to show he was sincere.

"I promise." And without hesitation, he leaned over to her, kissing first her forehead, then each cheek, and finally her mouth. She didn't want to break the spell, but she desperately needed to pee, so she kissed him once more and rose, her cold feet hitting the ground. The light was tempered when she stepped in and looking in the mirror she saw a face she hardly recognized, she looked like she had after the war, tired and emotionally spent. Washing her hands, she climbed back into bed, facing him. It was as though she was afraid to wake up and find him gone, but he was there when she woke, lightly snoring and hogging the covers.

(((())))

They spent the rest of Christmas holidays making up for lost time, Hermione welcomed him in her quarters and laboratory as often he could get away from Hogwarts business. It took a day or two to fall back into old patterns, to find her comfort and trust in him again, but as the week rounded out, she found herself lounging with him, finding him in the afternoon in his own study in his quarters, shirt untucked and tea-stained lips. It became almost an afternoon ritual to make love and brew for her next round of wolfsbane or for the infirmary, and though Hermione knew she would have to let go of her favorite afternoon pastime, she hoped she would see him more in the evenings than she had previously. When students returned, she was pleasantly surprised when he asked her to spend her evenings with him. His birthday passed with little acknowledgement aside from a special dinner in her quarters and a walk around the grounds. She'd learned that he didn't much enjoy celebrating his birthday, even though they'd always been important in her family, they hadn't been in his. She hoped that someday she could reform his stance, but she didn't push it.

In February, Hermione found that she needed to change her formula for the wolfsbane and the new formula would be the one she used for her final project if it worked.

"I cannot help you brew when it comes to your potions project, but if it's something else, I can. I don't want your scores compromised. And come for tea after classes, I have something to show you." Hermione smiled and left for her classroom, students filing in from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. She wrote directions on the board and watched as they grabbed materials for her favorite lesson, the felix felicis.

At dinner, Hermione found herself in conversation with Hagrid about his flobberworms, which she needed for future potions. She forgot sometimes how easy it was for her to talk to Hagrid, perhaps he could be a listening ear in the future, she thought. Directly before she left to go to Severus's quarters, an owl dropped a letter from Ginny. Reading it on her way, she stopped suddenly, and then almost ran to his quarters.

"Severus?" She called out, coming into his quarters. She found him in his study, his head bent over a letter, scratching away. She loved the sound of his writing.

"Almost finished." Hermione's lips met the back of his neck, forcing a shiver down his spine as he paused, giving her a devilish grin. When he folded his letter and sealed it, Hermione joined him on his sofa, curling into his arms and resting her head on his chest.

"What did you need to show me?" He handed her a letter or recommendation; Neville would finish apprenticeship and would be joining Hogwarts in the Autumn.

"Seriously? He actually applied?" She laughed, immediately knowing how lovely it would be to have a friend on staff.

"Yes, perhaps he finally grew up. Pomona has been asking after him for months, I guess she'll be pleased."

"I've had a letter as well." Hermione knew she couldn't show Severus the entire letter because parts were directly about their relationship, but she did open it again and show him the odd little picture Ginny had sent.

"They're having another baby. Here's the little head and arms. They must be totally nutters to have another one so soon, or Ginny inherited Molly's fertility." Severus took the little picture, though it was difficult to make much out.

"Another Potter, bloody hell." Hermione lightly smacked his hand and took the picture.

"She says she's due at the end of September early October. I won't be able to help as much this time, but she'll have Molly and her sisters-in-law. How exciting, I have to write her back; oh, and don't tell anyone, they haven't said anything to anyone except me." Severus pretended to seal his lips and watched her take the letter and put it in her pocket, returning to his side.

"I wish we had singers like last year, did Shacklebolt approve the grant for next year?"

"Yes, we'll have them back next year but they're going to do some different music, they haven't sent me the pages yet." Hermione pulled arm around her shoulder and kissed his cheek, tired but happy.

"I need to get to my marking, my boss will hang me in the dungeons if I don't get my quarterly grades in." She kissed him firmly on the lips and squeezed his shoulder, but he caught her hand.

"You can grade in here, you know, unless you'd rather I didn't look over your shoulder. I can have a second desk in."

"Fine, but you cannot add anything in the margins or deduct points." She walked to her quarters, surprised that Severus offered to bring in another desk. When she returned, he was at his desk again and another was there, an exact copy of hers with plenty of quills and ink. Her hand found his for a second before she started marking, making noises as she did, not realizing that she was actually reading some of their answer aloud.

"Sometimes, I want to burn them all, did you ever want to do that?"

"Every single group, and especially know-it-alls who continuously wrote over the required limit." He put his quill and hers down and snatched her up, taking her to his bedroom.

"You said something about dungeons earlier, playing a fantasy?'

"Heavens no, but if you'd like to chain me up here…" They both laughed, imagining the scenario.

"I would never." She wondered if perhaps he'd had to experience those forms of torture in service to Voldemort, but she didn't ask, she simply let him explore her, slowly divesting of her clothes and then his.

"I'm so glad tomorrow is Saturday!" She shouted as kissed the entire length of her body face to feet.

"You'll be far more when I've worn you out." Catching sight of him at her feet, she had no doubt he was serious. It was a glorious treat to have him on a Saturday, to see him relax and melt into the bed, and to know that she would have him again the next day.


	10. Chapter 10

**Author's note: I own nothing you recognize! HG's first potion conference. I'm going back to work full time tomorrow, so my updates might space out to once a week, unless my stress level makes me an insomniac again. Thank you again for your continued readership and support of my fic.**

 **Chapter 10:**

"I've just received my confirmation for Bruges, have you registered to go?" It was May and things had been quite smooth for months following their misunderstanding at Christmas, and Hermione took this a sign that perhaps they had overcome a major obstacle, finally finding a common ground and rhythm in their daily lives. She knew better than to push him and for his part it seemed he was truly trying to express himself and bring Hermione into his life in a meaningful way, though they still had much time before her mastery project was finished.

He looked up from his book, his legs crossed and free hand resting gently on the armrest, his pinky tapping an unknown beat. It was a welcome sight, to see him so content in her quarters, Minka curled at his feet and lazily snoozing.

"It's June? I will check my schedule upstairs, but it shouldn't be a problem. Who is the chair?" Hermione scanned her letter again, finding the details of the panels and presentation, hers on the preliminary issues of her new trial in bold letters.

"Piers Devon, do you know him?" Severus' eyes narrowed and he scowled, obviously he knew him. "That bad?"

"He'll have you his best friend before it's over, but he's a cad, watch that one."

"Is he at least competent at potions?"

"Undoubtedly, but I find his methods arcane and his attention to females in the field appalling. But, I will leave you to form your own opinion." He placed his wand on the page of his book and marked it, resting it on the side table and motioning to her. Unable to ignore him, Hermione set her letter beside his book and crawled onto his lap, his arms engulfing her as she did.

"You're being awfully cheerful this morning." She said, kissing the tip of his nose and then his lips, as softly as she could, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I've great company and time, besides, summer is almost upon us." The lines on his face relaxed, the furrowed brow disappeared, and she saw just how calm he really was, her hand moved to his heart.

"It'll be nice to have a little holiday in Bruges, have you been?"

"Yes, once, when I was first here. I became so enamored with the art there, sculptures and paintings, I barely attended the potions conferences. You'll see, it's a lovely city." High praise from him, she thought, imagining him in his twenties strolling around the town and into museums to view art. The castle was adorned with so many amazing pieces, she wondered what his favorites were.

"Is that why you have so many tattoos, I mean to cover scars obviously, but because you admire art?"

"Yes, I have a hard time forgetting beautiful pieces once I've seen them and my scars have made quite a business for tattoo artists. This is the one I got when I went to Bruges last, Madonna and Child. Her face is gorgeous and solemn, I wonder if she knew that one day her son would be sacrificed for the world, it's a weight I see here." He pointed to her eyes, Hermione hadn't noticed before how lovely and bereft the woman appeared.

"Are you religious?" Her curiosity peaked, she'd never heard anyone at Hogwarts talk about religion before.

"My father was and though I do not find myself of any particular religion now, I do have an affinity for Mary, I always have." The image rolled around in her mind, forcing Hermione's brain to think to his life, his past. There were parallels between his admiration for Mary and Lily Evans, though undoubtedly when he'd first loved her, she didn't have a son.

"My parents were catholic, we attended church twice a week for my entire childhood, I find sometimes I miss the ritual of it all, but brewing fulfills some of that." He took her hand in his and kissed each finger tenderly, watching her face as he did, delighting in the happiness in her eyes.

"Let's walk to Hogsmeade for dinner; I'm bored of curry chicken."

"Bored of curry chicken, you?" She laughed, rattling against him as she did, pressing her lips to his before standing. "Well, let's go, I am starving." He took her hand in his and they shared a brief kiss before they both walked from her room, taking the hallways, stairs, and then the gate, leaving the castle for Hogsmeade Village. He sent his patronus to Deputy HeadMaster Sinistra and they were off, careful not to look too chummy as they walked into the Three Broomsticks, but far more comfortable than most of the professors who strolled in. It took no time for each of them to decide what they wanted for dinner, but Hermione found that once they received their wine, she couldn't stop catching her favorite professor's eye. There was something about him that evening, inviting and alluring, as though the cares of his lifetime were suddenly gone, remedied by time and location. In an instant, she wanted to leave the castle and go somewhere, to have him all to herself as this newly freed man, but instead she simply watched him, allowed him to talk more about his day and the rest of term, which was quite short. It was in those moments, when he was truly himself and open, that she found her own heart yearning for him to always be so open, to always want to talk to her so freely.

"You're quiet." He finally said, finishing his diatribe on hiring Neville Longbottom.

"I'm just enjoying you, Severus." Her shy smile made his lip curl, in the way that told her how pleased he was that she wanted him, in all aspects.

"The wine must be good if you find me that entertaining; I'll have to ply you with wine more often." The way the words rolled of his tongue, the rich baritone of his voice, made her suddenly smile again. It hit her hard, the way he looked at her, the light reflecting on his dark, lovely eyes; she loved him, she was sure. Instead of looking away or shying from the intensity of his gaze, Hermione rested her ankle against his, careful not to draw too much attention to them.

"I'm just happy, you know I'm a romantic, I'd be happy sitting with you almost anywhere." His eyebrow raised, he looked around the room and then at her again, taking her soft hand in his for a moment and wishing they were, in fact, somewhere else.

"You truly are, and for that I must, unfortunately, capitulate. My romantic Hermione, whose heart must be twice the size of mine."

"At least…" She laughed, finishing her wine and taking her hand back before the rest of the patrons noticed the headmaster and professor getting too chummy.

"Someday, we will come here and I won't have to pretend this is a meeting."

"Soon enough, though I don't give a rats arse if they talk. We've filled out the paperwork and followed all the bloody rules." Surprised at his words, Hermione took his hand back and pinched him lightly.

"Ouch! Why in Merlin's seven sons did you do that?"

"Just making sure you're really Severus Snape and that I am not dreaming." His scowl almost made her laugh.

"Aren't you supposed to pinch yourself?"

"I guess, but you seem far more pinchable. Come on, let's get back to the castle, I have some grading and you to take care of." He didn't say another word, simply took her hand as she led him from the table, leaving the money for their tab and dinner on the table as they left. Walking with her arm tucked into his, Hermione held him and smiled the entire walk to the school, but once they reached the gates she let go; townspeople talking was one thing, the entire student body was another.

Severus had been entirely correct, Bruges was a lovely city. When the portkey brought them to a field not far out of town, she immediately knew she would like being in Belgium. Once the semester ended, Hermione had spent the time between students departing and the conference working on her presentation and studying up on the other presenters, specifically the chair, Piers Devon. Once they were checked into their hotel, Severus and Hermione, completely free in Bruges, walked around the town, across the many bridges and into cheese and sweet shops. Hermione tempted Severus with a dark chocolate with pistachio and cherries when he obviously spotted someone familiar.

"Careful, it's Devon."

"Severus, old boy, I was so cheered to see your name on my registration docket. How are you?" Hermione's immediate impression of Piers Devon was that he seemed oddly familiar, as though she'd known him in her muggle life. He was tall, taller than Severus, and lean with white hair, slightly wavy with a hint of his former hair color at the nape of his neck, and like Severus he had dark eyes. What was most striking about him, though, was a scar along his right cheek, as though someone had walked right up to him and slashed him with a knife so sharp it could cut steel. He extended his hand to her, but immediately kissed her left cheek, then right.

"And you must be Hermione Granger." He added, practically ignoring that he'd asked Severus a question.

"I am, it is nice to meet you." "Piers." "Piers, I look forward to hearing more about hellebore; we've studied it's many uses with my sixth years this term, they're quite interested to hear what I come back with." He seemed immediately pleased to hear that she had a vested interest in his topic before the conference began.

"Well, I'll be sure to make sure you get a copy of all my notes." She noticed immediately the tightness of Severus' hand on her elbow as Devon leaned closed to her to speak, trying his best to use his suave nature to intrigue her.

"That would be appreciated, thank you. Severus and I were just walking to the Church of Our Lady, we'll see you at dinner this evening?" She made sure that he knew he wasn't invited, feeling Severus' hand slacken as she prompted Devon to leave them be.

"Of course, good day to you both." He stood for a moment, looking awkwardly down the lane, and then walked away leaving Hermione to kiss Severus quickly, making sure he knew just how much she was glad to have him on her arm.

"He reminds me of someone but I can't place it...almost as foolhardy as Lockhart but there's something else." Severus rolled his eyes and seethed, his scowl ever present.

"He is a dolt and you would do well to keep your distance; you are his exact type; smart and pretty, impressionable and eager."

"Impressionable? Honestly, you think I'd fall for his tricks?" Hermione did not want to pick a fight, but she felt a little put off by his comments- she was not going to suddenly fall for another man and certainly not for someone who obviously collected women like trophies.

"You are impressionable, my dear, but I do not think you would fall for his advances. I am more concerned about the level he would go to obtain you." She could see the jealousy in him, the way his shoulders tensed and his eyes would not meet hers, so she reached up to him and pulled his face to hers.

"Severus, I am not going to be alone with him so it will not be an issue and I…" Pausing, she put his hair behind his ears and then played with the buttons of his frock coat not ready to tell him exactly how she felt. She stood on her toes and kissed him softly, pulling him with her towards the church not finishing her sentence. By the time they went through the doors, he was calmer, relaxed even.

"This is beautiful." Hermione remarked, wiping a tear from her eye as she looked around the church. It made her think of the small parish church she attended, though obviously this church was much larger. Taking a seat in a pew, Severus put his arm around her shoulders and let her weep, though he didn't know exactly why she was crying and didn't want to pry.

((()))

At dinner, Hermione was seated between Piers Devon and Severus, with several other Potions Masters and some of their apprentices. It felt like an odd mix of people, though she could hear them chattering quite easily about their schools, stores, etc, each one interested in one topic or another. It should've made her nervous to think of presenting her material to such accomplished and qualified persons, but she knew she was prepared and ready. When Devon raised his glass for a toast, she noticed it, the sly look he was giving her and instantly realized it was Sirius Black he reminded her of, if his hair had been dark. The same flirtatious nature and general willingness to act without thought. She wondered if that was another aspect of the disdain Severus held for him.

"Tomorrow will begin our presentations, please be respectful of the work they've put into this conference and reserve extreme criticisms for panels or in the form of writing, I'm looking at you, Hornsby. Goodnight!" Hermione looked to the lady Devon had pointed to and laughed, she looked like the sweetest old lady and she was sure he was joking. Before leaving the table and her glass of white zinfandel, Hermione found Devon with his arm around her shoulder, leaning into her, his mouth at her ear whispering something indistinguishable from the noise of the room. When she turned her face slightly to ask him to speak up, he let go of her and walked off.

"Well that was odd, I couldn't even hear what he was saying." Severus smirked, but took her arm and walked her to their suite where he promptly undressed her, made love to her twice, and then slept with his arms wound around her so tightly she barely slept. She'd no idea Severus was quite so jealous as there weren't many eligible men at Hogwarts, but it was a side of him she certainly hadn't anticipated at all. It made her feel loved, even if it was motivated by a selfish need to possess her, she only hoped that he didn't take it to a level that included violence.

The next morning, Hermione disentangled herself from Severus and showered, choosing her outfit from her packed bags, watching Severus sleeping, increasingly more attractive the more she looked at him. His eyes finally opened and saw her staring at him, her own eyes sweetened towards him.

"You'll miss my presentation if you don't get up, Headmaster Snape." She crawled onto the bed in her pencil skirt and ruffled blouse, the belt at her waist digging in slightly as she felt his hand go over her stockings.

"It would be shame to ruin these." He whispered, kissing her knee to her ankle and then eyeing her. She rolled her legs back and kissed him, pushing him off the bed. "Taskmaster." When he wasn't ready by the time she headed down to her conference room, Hermione called out to him saying she'd see him downstairs. She walked down the hall, taking her bag and key, taking the lift to the third floor and found her room, water and a pen at the table. Taking out her notes, she arranged her notecards and visual, her wand flicking to procure a screen with notes and visual aids from her research, flicking through a couple to make sure they were still in the right order.

"You look quite natural up there, Professor." Hermione turned to see Piers Devon in the doorway to the classroom, looking more and more like Sirius to her, almost twinging her heart as she thought of Harry. He sauntered up to her, shaking her hand again and looking over her notes. "When you sent in your proposal, I thought there was no way a young woman your age had already fixed a major error in the Wolfsbane potion that we haven't even considered for almost a century, but I was terribly wrong. Am I to believe you have submitted a proposal with plans to cure lycanthropy?"

"You have heard correctly, it will be my Master's project, though I will most likely be unsuccessful, I will endeavor to do my best." Her quill marked through a few words as she spoke to him, his person so close to her she could smell him and feel his breath. When she finally looked at him again, she was reminded how tall he was, at least six foot six and looming over her, his eyes traveling over her notes repetively.

"From what I have heard about you, Professor, I do not doubt for one moment you will not try your damndest to be successful. Though I will not likely be the chair next year, you will have a place in this conference as you progress through your research; the potioneers who attend are ripping at the seams to see what you've done. You should be proud of yourself, truly." Hermione felt herself swell momentarily with pride, allowing the part of her which craved reinforcement and recognition to be sated. He was saying exactly the things she'd wanted to hear from her own potions professor for so many years.

"I don't know how to respond to that...so thank you, I find that this is a tough business to navigate. You potioneers are a tough bunch, quite unwilling, sometimes, to share." She heard herself almost teasing him, laughing as she wrote her name on her notes, making sure to keep her eyes from his.

"That's true, unfortunately, most of us do not like to share." The double-entendre, the flirtation in his voice made her blush, but thankfully other conference attendees began to filter in, taking seats and looking towards her; she felt thirteen and inexperienced for a moment, before she looked back to Devon and noticed how he was admiring her. He was most certainly a dangerous man.

Hermione's presentation went off without a hitch, her slides were timed perfectly, her voice never quivered and the personal trials she presented all made sense. It was almost effortless, though she'd prepared for months for the moment. When she came to the end of her presentation, she made sure to pause and look to Severus who was sitting towards the back in his regular clothing, looking quite like everyone else in the room.

"This project was initially inspired by one of my dear friends, Remus Lupin, who was bitten as a young boy and spent his life on the outskirts of society, barely able to have a life until Wolfsbane made it possible. He died before I could even consider a project of this magnitude, but my efforts are always with him in mind. Additionally, I'd like to thank Headmaster Severus Snape, for supporting me through this effort and even helping brew in the initial stages. Though he can no longer participate due to my enrollment in the Potions Master program, I am forever indebted to his teachings while I attended Hogwarts and to his support as a colleague and boss; it is a rare gift to be given practically carte blanche in designing and implementing not only my potions curriculum, but in this effort as well, especially considering the reputation he has built in his own career as a Potions Master. I only hope that my work will bring the right kind of notoriety to Hogwarts, and be a testament to the leadership of my school and his dedication to us . Thank you." Hermione put her wand down, effectively removing the screen and her voice modification allowing her to speak loudly enough for the room. She found that she couldn't make eye contact with Severus, who she feared might be embarrassed by her speech. Instead, she looked to Piers Devon who looked like a kid at Easter who'd found a golden egg, desperately ready to unwrap it. He said some things to the crowd, something about a panel after lunch and she was off into the crowd, trying to navigate through with random people stopping her to say hello or thank her for her work. When she'd been surrounded for more than twenty minutes, Hermione searched the room for him, but didn't see him, instead she found Devon at her side, ushering her out of the room.

"Did you see Severus?" She asked, looking to him with a pained expression.

"He is a most private man, I am sure he removed himself before the crowd could launch themselves at him." Devon's hand was once again at her elbow, directing her away from the conference room and she finally saw Severus at the end of the hall, watching her like the spy he'd been for years. Her face lit up, her hand motioned him over, every fiber of her being wanted him to be at her side. Instead of waiting, she went to him, her legs elongated by her heels. As soon as she was at his side, she wanted to launch herself at him, to kiss him and thank him for helping her find the courage to become a Potions Master.

"I hope I didn't embarrass you." Hermione shyly put her hand on his forearm, unaware at first that Piers Devon was still behind her.

"Of course you didn't, I simply do not want these leeches trying to steal you away from Hogwarts, I've already been offered an exorbitant amount to release you from your contract." Hermione's eye rounded large and she laughed, the expression on his face as stone.

"Seriously? What fools, as though I would ever leave." But her laughter stopped when she saw the cool look cross his face and the almost pained expression that immediately followed.

"You will someday, there's no doubt of that, we won't be able to hold you back once you cure lycanthropy, and you won't want to be held back, trust me." Suddenly, Hermione didn't know where he was coming from, why was he insisting that someday she would want to do anything but teach down the hall from her favorite person, even if she continued to research outside of her field or decided to work towards other goals, she didn't think she would ever want to leave Hogwarts now that it felt like home. Her hand dropped, switching her bag and then turning towards the crowd that was moving to another conference. It almost beckoned her to leave him there, commiserating in the pain of his own creation, but instead she didn't.

"Why can I not just continue researching and doing my job as I have done for two years now? Do you think me so incapable of finishing my contract or finding contentedness for myself that I would be swayed by the glittery promises of wealth and prestige? I have money, more money than I know what to do with, and prestige and notoriety- as for that, there's only ever been one person's acceptance and approval I've sought for years, it seems I still don't have it." Her voice was cool and calm, not nearly as hysterical as she was beginning to feel. Hermione stepped to her left and took a water from the barrell and took several swallows before she found that her bubble had burst a bit. It was immediately clear he was doing what he normally did, pushing her to make sure her decision was purely hers, but she had just come off an adrenaline high she could barely describe and though she would've liked him to be more supportive, she knew he was being him. Opening her bag, Hermione pulled out her schedule and saw that the panel for the uses of witch hazel was starting in ten minutes.

"I'm going to witch hazel." Pushing the paper back in her bag, Hermione squeezed his arm and walked off, Piers Devon still on her heels, his presence beginning to grate her. Couldn't he see that she loved Severus Snape, couldn't he surmise from the conversation he'd overheard that she was devoted to him? When she entered the room, which was quite full, she took a seat in the back, but found that she was immediately surrounded by people she didn't know, which was fine for the moment as she didn't want to speak to anyone.

An hour later, she filtered out with the rest of the crowd and went to the restaurant for lunch, unable to find Severus, she took her lunch to a small table and read through her notes again, making sure she'd brought up all the pertinent points. SIlently, she perusing her notes, she looked around the room and took in the crowd; most of the people were like her, smart and effective, a little introverted but keen to learn. It made her feel welcome and somewhat at home to be so comfortable in a room of strangers.

"I didn't mean to imply anything except that your mind is so…" Severus sat across from her, so quietly at first Hermione didn't even notice him

"What? Annoying, insufferable?"

"Teaching is a thankless task often and conducting research takes a toll, you may find in the future that you would rather devote all your time to research. It was not my intention to convey any unprofessionalism, you are a consummate professional."

"And if that ever happens, if I get to a place where I feel my research warrants a sabbatical, I will consult you. It's not as though I will turn up in your office some day and quit without warning, besides, I would hope you'd be retired by the time I chose to leave." He was unreadable again, the pasta on his plate swirling in an unending motion. "I try not to let you provoke me into saying things, Severus, and perhaps I have a penchant for taking the things you say to heart, but I would hope at this point you know how ardently I admire you and that being said, would consider you in my future plans, even if you push me not to." His fork dropped.

"Precisely, you should not base your future on my opinions."

"I am not basing my future on your opinions. I make my own decisions and follow my heart, which just happens to want to know your opinions as well. If your plan is that in two years, I will leave Hogwarts and effectively, you, I'm sorry to inform you that is unlikely to happen. Unless Horace Slughorn comes to me in August in two years and begs me to let him have his job back, I won't be leaving unless you force me, in which case if you're forcing me, I doubt I'll want to stay." Perhaps the kind things she'd said about him had hit a nerve, maybe she should've told him she was going to say such things.

"You make it sound as though I'm some vapid airhead who simply listens to the first man who tells her to do or not do something. I'm not, by the way." She pushed her plate away, angry that he was picking a fight for no reason, but her voice still low and almost as menacing as his.

"Obviously."

"Not obviously if you are implying it. I ask your opinion because you're my bestfriend, my confidant, hell even Harry has no idea what I'm up to half the time and my other friends even less. They've families and jobs, and I have my work." She'd lost her patience and felt the room, which had moments before been comforting to her, now closing in. "I would hope to have you, as well." She whispered, smoothing her hair back into her braid and folding her arms.

"Undoubtedly you have me, it's simply a matter of time before you realize your capacity, progress, and abilities outgrow Hogwarts." It was a backhanded compliment, something nice wrapped in something ugly.

"Yes and I'll outgrow you, is that the implication? Because you're being a git, Severus."

"Why can't you take a compliment, you said you sought my approval, I am telling you in the words I can that you far exceed any expectations I ever had of you and that I am fortunate as your boss that you find your job rewarding, and as for myself, I am astounded you even consider me at all." The jealousy she'd seen before was clearly present.

"It is a backhanded compliment and you know it. You commend me and imply that I am too good for my job, as though I'm some Malfoy who cares about public persona. Sometimes I think you like to rile me up so you can see how far I will go to defend myself."

"Or I simply want you to understand your motives."

"You are a glutton for punishment." She didn't care about the implications, his history, instead she took a gulp of her water and let herself calm down. As her pulse calmed, she wondered if they would ever have an outing or event that didn't involve his insecurities and her need to prove herself.

"I'm attending Devon's panel in five minutes and then I am going to our room." He nodded towards her. "After that, I am going to order food to our room because I want do nothing but let the stress of the last six months fall away. If you'd like to join me, you know where I'll be." She snapped her back closed, her voice soft as though she were speaking to Teddy but still terse.

"Someday, Severus, you will believe me and I will have the satisfaction of proving you wrong, unless you push me off a bloody cliff first." Hermione smiled at him, standing next to him and tipping his chin up towards her. In his eyes, she found a swirling chasm of doubt, so much damage, and a hint of anger still, on the fringes. It worried her that after a year and a half, he was still so unsure about her. In a flash, she kissed his cheek and left the restaurant, full of doubt and worry herself, afraid that one the times he pushed her away, she'd actually let him.

When he finally came back to their suite, she was sleeping soundly under the covers, room service neatly stowed on the table, a portion for him under a heating charm. His eyes swept over her; she had a supreme inclination to take his words to heart and normally the wrong way. Alternately, he knew he was harsh and pushed her away, too often, but it was his nature to be alone, to crave the solitary for fear of losing another person he cared for so deeply. Divesting of his clothes, aside from a black undershirt and underwear, he sat at the table and quietly ate, but hard his teeth, and washed his face before joining her in the bed, pulling her close to him. Hermione woke a little, in her haze she smiled at him, which forced him to kiss her. How could she be so forgiving?

"I love you." He whispered against her skin, but it seemed she'd already fallen asleep. Kissing her once more on her cheek, he buried his face in her mass of curls and gave in to sleep as well.

(((())))

Morning came quickly for Hermione, who saw the rays of sun shine through the curtains and felt instantly as though she could have a lie in. But, she knew there were four more presentations she wanted to attend before leaving the following day and going to 12 Grimmauld Place to see her Potters. Pushing the blanket back a bit and finding Severus's hand on her stomach, she appraised him, and then the room. He'd eaten dinner and come to bed at some point, but she didn't recall even a moment of it, except for perhaps a kiss or two once he'd settled in. Once she surveyed the room again, she stretched, careful not to wake Severus and went to the loo, brushing her teeth and hair, which had become quite tangled while she slept. She knew that was Severus's doing as he was incessantly in her hair, twirling it through his fingers, over and over almost as a child to his favorite toy or blanket. It had a calming effect on her as well, though she did like to point out to him how messy it made her hair, so often she braided it and he simply ran his fingers through her scalp.

"You look awfully tired this morning." She heard from the doorway as she used to wet brush to control her hair.

"I don't know why, I slept wonderfully once you came to bed." Leaning over to him, she kissed his chin then went back into the sitting area of their suite and continued brushing, trying her best to avoid thoughts about their disagreement the day prior. She thought instead about seeing Teddy and James, how much they must've grown in her absence and seeing Harry and Ginny, she so needed a laugh.

"Do you want to eat downstairs?" Hermione asked him as he joined her on the couch, his arm around her shoulders.

"Yes, I am suddenly quite hungry." They showered and changed, Hermione donning her favorite purple professional outfit before grabbing her bag and waiting for him at the door. Before turning the handle, Severus took her chin between his thumb and forefinger and placed the softest of kisses on her lips.

Piers Devon met them at the other end of the lift, effectively dampening Hermione's good mood for the moment, he wanted her impressions of the panel on hellebore, but she did not want to rock the fragile peace she and Severus had made, so she was polite but curt, asking him to send her the materials he said he would and that she would get back to him as soon as she could. They ate in companionable silence, his free hand on her leg whenever possible.

They attended two sessions before lunch and two after, meeting with all the participants for dinner at the restaurant. She couldn't escape Piers Devon, though they'd been seated at separate tables, thankfully. When the dancing started, she found that she wanted nothing more than to retire to their room for a decent night's sleep once more and a lounge with Severus, but when Severus left to get them drinks, Piers Devon sat next to her, like prey eyeing his kill he leaned into her and asked her to dance. When she'd put up her hand to protest, he took that as a yes and took it, leading her to the dance floor, his hand settling a little too low on her back for her comfort.

"How have you enjoyed the lectures?" His hands were cold, unnaturally cold.

"As I have nothing to compare this to, I would say it's been informative and enriching, my students will certainly enjoy hearing about new methods and techniques. And I am glad to have one under my belt, so next year I won't be quite as nervous." He pulled her a little closer, his hand at her waist treading dreadfully close to her bum.

"It is nice to have some young blood here; some of these potions professors have been teaching for sixty or more years. Can you imagine their lectures?" Hermione couldn't help but laugh, thinking of Professor Binns and her classes with him.

"Be glad you didn't go to Hogwarts, we actually had a ghost for a professor who was teaching us ancient history as though it happened yesterday, which I might've enjoyed had he not been dreadfully boring."

"What was your Snape like as a professor?" The question caught Hermione off guard, but she quickly recovered.

"He was demanding and honest, a brow-beater. I don't know if I ever received top marks for any of my work; he simply did not suffer fools or those who thought they had nothing to learn. We didn't know how divergent his life was then or otherwise we might've given him some slack or perhaps he might've have given us slack. Regardless, I much prefer being his colleague than his student; much more patient." It was Devon's turn to laugh, but the obvious affection in her eyes and voice wasn't lost on him, he released her slightly as the song slowed.

"It is a pity that he no longer teaches, we miss having him present."

"Can he not present as a headmaster?" She implored, her eyebrows creased severely.

"Of course, but he does not. He hasn't presented in, well, at least four years. We normally had two sessions devoted to him, some years it was clear it was his outlet." Hermione finally looked back to their table and saw him staring at them, but not with the look she was expecting, he looked passive but not angry.

"Well, he would definitely be brewing more if I wasn't working towards my masters. I'm afraid I monopolize the labs as often as possible and now that he can't help me with wolfsbane, we don't brew together unless it's for the infirmary." The song ended, but he held onto her, almost wishing another appropriate song would play. Hermione thanked him for the dance, knowing that their conversation hadn't really reached a conclusion, but she wanted to get back to Severus.

"Sorry, he sort of kidnapped me. You know he thinks rather highly of you?"

"Oh really, I find that nearly unbelievable." She sipped the drink he'd gotten her and moved closer to him, speaking softly in his ear.

"I think rather highly of you, is that hard to believe?"

"Hermione…"Devon sat swiftly next to him before he could finish his sentence.

"Professor Granger holds you in high esteem, Severus, even complimented your teaching style." Piers Devon's glass was full of a curiously red wine which Hermione could smell two seats away. "I thought, at first, she was just being kind, but Hermione, tell him." Severus looked between them, resting his eyes finally on Hermione who looked eager to strike.

"The headmaster knows how I feel about him and his teaching, but thank you for conveying my esteem, he doesn't hear often enough how much we appreciate him. And now, ready for that walk?" Placing her hand on Severus's arm, Hermione stood and thanked Devon for a lovely evening.

"Good evening, Devon." Severus finally said, which Hermione snickered at as he hadn't said many words to him the entire conference.

"You were nice."

"Sometimes, it makes too much effort to treat someone how they truly deserve." They stood waiting on the lift, Hermione still tucked neatly into his side, their arms encircled. It was a lovely evening, far better than the previous one. When they finally fell asleep, after slowly undressing each other and making love, Hermione found that her mind continued to wander all night, even her dreams were anxious. At some point in the night, she awoke and found she could no longer sleep, so she grabbed her journal and began detailing her presentation and the others she attended, trying to make sure she put their names and contact information on the pages, compiling it all as Severus awoke in the morning.

"Have you been up all night?" He groggily asked, reaching for her leg and giving it a gentle squeeze.

"I couldn't sleep, my brain wouldn't stop. I didn't wake you, did I?"

"No, you didn't, but as I am awake, come here." He closed her journal and pulled her to him cradling her as they lay together, her head under his chin.

"Will you come to Grimmauld Place this week?' Sheepishly, she asked, worried they wouldn't see each other much over the summer aside from days she knew she'd be at Hogwarts working on her master's project and brewing for Madame Pomfrey.

"I will, I have a chess match with young Lupin."

"Well, I'm glad Teddy can draw you to Harry's home." Her laugh shook them both; she didn't want to move another inch, she simply wanted to do what they hadn't been able to do the days prior which was to lounge together for an indeterminate amount of time. Instead, they lay there for another thirty minutes before both of their bladders made it impossible to stay in a bed for another minute, so they showered and packed, leaving Bruges from the same beautiful field in which they left. When they reached Hogsmeade, Hermione gave him a hug and kiss, then apparated to Harry's home. She felt conflicted and unsure of herself but still hopeful, as she always was, that Severus would eventually ease into their relationship with the same optimism and longevity that she saw. It wasn't as though she wanted him to propose marriage, but she certainly wanted something more concrete and her next days were spent contemplating ways to assuage her concerns and his, but came up short. Her time was filled with sweet James and Teddy, catching up with Ginny and Harry, but when Severus came through the door on the Thursday after they'd come home from Belgium, she felt immediately at home, as though Grimmauld Place was their holiday home. He ruffled Teddy's hair and even let James tug at his buttons, before placing a chaste kiss on Hermione's cheek, immediately falling into conversation with Harry. When James became tired, she carried him to his room and rocked him, so thankful to feel her own relief and the weight of her anxiety lifting like leaves blowing in the wind, picked up so easily from the ground.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

The remainder of the summer passed quickly, Hermione remained quite busy with potions work for the infirmary and for her own project, going back and forth between Hogwarts and Grimmauld Place. It took them little time to fall into a summer routine which found them together far more than they had been throughout the year, and as the previous summer, Hermione knew things would change when school started again. She was not, however trepidatious. Whether Severus was going to pull away or find another reason to become distant was not a concern; if he did, she would deal with it or find a way to ease him. Her previous concerns and fears had dissipated and she became comfortable with her feelings and place in his life and hers. It was freeing, to find herself wholly comfortable for the first time since before the Final Battle- she didn't fear being alone or being hurt by Severus, and ultimately her security and confidence attracted her to Severus even more.

They celebrated James's first birthday with all the pomp and circumstance a Potter birthday always brought. Hermione found that Severus had become quite used to being at Grimmauld Place again, and thought they would never be best friends, she found he and Harry in many deep conversations, often about Ministry work or Hogwarts, but sometimes about Lily and their childhood. It was clear that Harry wanted to ensure that Severus knew just how much he appreciated everything he'd done for him all the years at Hogwarts and before, that he had been willing to protect him despite the history between James Potter and Severus Snape, but Hermione could tell it made Severus uncomfortable. Severus didn't hesitate to remind Harry that he wasn't selfless and often his motives were purely selfish, but it didn't phase Harry who could no longer see only anger and annoyance when he looked at Severus.

On one particular Sunday after they'd walked back from Hogsmeade after watching Teddy and James for the day so Ginny and Harry could have a date before baby two arrived, Hermione took Severus's arm as they walked the trail, finding himself unable to express how lovely their summer had been so far, he simply looked over to her every so often, the moonlight hitting her eyes and hair just so, making him wish with ardently that he could put into words how he felt. Before they reached the gates, Hermione stopped him to look at some particularly beautiful heather on the edge of the trail, the purple the same as her jumper.

"Who would want to live anywhere else when you can find such beauty in abundance?" She mused, taking the heather and tucking it between the pages of her journal, writing the date at the top.

"Indeed." But, Severus was not thinking about the heather, he was thinking of Hermione and how it didn't matter where they lived, he simply wanted her to be wherever he was. It made him ponder if they should simply share quarters, they were together so often it made no sense for them to have separate quarters any longer; but, then he thought about the implications, the certain talk of the staff if it was discovered and the awareness that they weren't married, and if that should be done before he even considered moving her into his quarters, which might as well have been as permanently as moving her into his life. It all melted into a large chasm in his brain, the thoughts of her being there whenever he woke or took tea, to know that she was within arm's reach should he need advice or simply someone to read next to, even if they didn't speak or read the same thing. Like a bludger, the beauty of their life together, one he never expected, hit him so squarely in his chest that he stopped, inches from the door to his quarters, Hermione still on his arm. Without thinking, he pulled her to him, taking her face in his hands and kissing her to hard his lips felt pained.

"Severus?" Hermione whispered, her eyes searching his for answers to his sudden kiss, his facial expression unfamiliar.

"I just.. had to." And so he did it again, this time his arms went around her shoulders, pulling her into his rooms wordlessly and holding her so tight she couldn't breathe.

"Severus, are you trying to smother me?" Hermione laughed, pulling away from him. He wanted to tell her he loved her, to say it without restriction or fear that she too would leave or die at the hands of some madman, but he couldn't. He couldn't form the words so instead he pulled her close again and ran his fingers up and down her spine, so thankful that she had remained his most ardent supporter and had been so incredibly patient with him when it was clear he was anxious or unsure of himself.

Hermione led him to the couch and sat wedged in his side, taking in his scent, the way his hand twirled her curls. She, too, was enraptured with him and the ease of the summer. It made her wish every season was the same, though she knew it was improbable that they would ever be able to maintain the same level of comfort and closeness during the school year, it was still nice to have him all to herself. His role as headmaster diminished so much in the summer, it was as though he was just a professor again.

"I want to get your opinion on something." He suddenly said, kissing the top of her head.

"Yes?"

"How would you feel if your quarters were moved?" She raised an eyebrow, not sure exactly where he was going with his line of thought.

"To where?"

"Through this wall. They would basically be my quarters, with a door separating in case you or I needed space. You'd have a door in the hall, to keep things appropriate with the rest of the staff, but essentially, we would live together." The hand that had been resting on his chest stopped drumming lightly and he saw her large eyes boring into his, a look of confusion then happiness spreading through them.

"Are you asking me to move in with you?"

"Well, yes, unless you'd rather we wait. I realize that it probably seems rather odd coming from me and we should probably be married first, and though I would like...that it to say I am not against marriage...I…" He was lost in speech and felt himself floundering, sort of digging himself into a corner.

"We don't have to be married to live together, surely. I like the idea of the separate door, just in case. So what would be in "my" quarters?" But he still hadn't regained his composure, he simply kissed her and concentrated hard, his wand moving in the air wordlessly. Stones moving and crushing loudness made Hermione jump, flying out of his arms onto the floor. A full thirty minutes passed before he paused and looked at her again.

"Severus!" She yelled, standing and going to the new door, next to his loo. Turning the knob, she walked through, finding a sitting room with some of her books and formal furniture, another loo complete with her toiletries, a small kitchenette which she hadn't had before, and then another bedroom with all of her bedding but the closet was empty and missing was her work and the small area she'd used for a lab. When she turned around, he was there, his arms unfolded looking as vulnerable as she'd ever seen him, reaching out to her.

"Your closet is next to mine and I instructed the castle to put a larger lab on the other side of the bedroom. What do you think?" They walked through his bedroom, her desk was adorned with her thinks, the bookcases now full of both of their books, and when she opened the door to the lab, she stopped; all of her materials were present, and there were now two workstations, one large supply closet, and plenty of space for all of the work she needed to get done.

"I love it, I love you!" Smothering him in retribution, she kissed him repeatedly, tearing up. "How is this even possible?"

"Headmaster's privilege. I can change things like this, though it does take a great deal of magic. The elves obviously helped, as well."

"You surprise me, you really surprise me." Without letting go of him, she scanned the room again, then led him back to the main sitting room, lost in thought completely.

"I take it you are pleased."

"Of course, I didn't think we'd do this until I was finished, waiting two years seemed like a long time. I'm glad you didn't want to wait." Kissing him again, Hermione stretched across the couch, laying her head on his legs and looking up to him, imagining getting to see him every evening, even if it was only to sleep. Wiping another tear away, she couldn't contain her excitement.

"Waiting seemed ludicrous, we don't answer to the staff. If they are so curious, they can ask, otherwise, I see no reason that we cannot continue like this. When you finish with your mastery, we can revisit other... ventures." He leaned down to her and kissed her forehead, summoning his handkerchief to dry her eyes.

"Not to be morose, but what if you decide you no longer want me in your quarters?" Hermione asked as he wiped her cheek. A contemplative looked crossed his face and then one of slight annoyance.

"Our quarters, and the door can be sealed and all your things returned, but honestly, woman, at this point I think you're rather stuck with me." Smiling sweetly, Hermione sighed and turned on her side, facing the room and allowing him to play with her hair. This was certainly the mark of love, to give himself so freely to her, to invite her into his life so completely; it made her shiver, thinking about his openness. And then, she thought about his words for the future- he was finally admitting there was a future and that would probably get married someday. There was plenty still to figure out, but it was a start.

The next week, when August was finally winding down to September, Hermione and Severus found themselves at Grimmauld Place again for dinner, this time a whole host of people attending as Harry and Ron had snagged two former Death Eaters who'd broken parole.

"You'd think our job would be easier now, but it's not." Ron yelled across the table to Neville and Justin Finch-Fletchly who were just as inebriated as he was. Arthur and Molly looked on with mild wonder at their youngest son acting foolish, simply glad he survived unharmed. When Hermione heard James cry, she patted Ginny's arm and took him up the stairs, just as happy to get away from the boozy revelers as he appeared. After reading him a few stories while he perched on her lap, one hand wrapped in her hair and the other pointing to the moving pictures on the book's pages, Hermione felt him crawl up her chest and lay his head on her shoulder, his wrapped tightly around his neck, and playing with her hair. She had missed his sweet face on days when they were at Hogwarts and immersed in projects that were important, but certainly not as sweet as James or Teddy. Closing her eyes and rocking him, she didn't see Severus at the door, watching them as he often did, making sure she wasn't being terrorized by the new toddler who'd just learned to walk. Walking over to them, Severus put his hands under James's armpits and started to lift him, but as Hermione's eyes shot open, he stopped.

"Another minute more, he's so precious when he's like this." Severus stepped back, sitting on the sofa next to her, his arm around her shoulders. For a moment, she remembered her dream of a little girl, the product of herself and Severus and it made her wonder if he'd ever want that, or even if she did really. It was one thing to fawn over Teddy and James, to babysit them and care for them, then return them to their parents. But, the little girl flashed through her mind many times, him reaching for her as he had for James, she reading the little girl a story. Before she let herself get too emotional, Hermione patted James' back and put him in his crib, kissing him one last time. Before taking Severus's hand and walking out of the nursery.

"I can't believe they'll be another baby here next time we visit, well most likely." She felt herself wallowing, her heart breaking just a bit as hormones raged.

"Your heart has room plenty for another Potter." He teased, but Hermione wasn't thinking so much about the new baby as the one she might never have. For all the emotional growth she'd had over the school year, this was the one thing that still plagued her and she didn't like it. It wasn't a subject she even wanted to broach with him until she finished her mastery.

"I don't feel like going back down there." Hermione stopped at the stairs, deciding to go up instead of down to the first floor. He surprisingly kissed her and they parted ways. When he came up much later, he smelled of elf-made wine and cigarettes, she thought he was Ron when he first snuggled close to her, so she moved away, until his hands traveled her as only they could. A gentle moan escaped her lips as she rolled towards him.

"What time is it?" She asked, yawning.

"Late." When she rolled her eyes, he caught her jaw between his thumb and finger. "Impertinent girl." He claimed her mouth hard, like he had before his chambers the month before, moving his body so that she was tucked beneath him, one hand pushing her tank straps off her shoulders, before his mouth moved to them.

"Severus, the house is full."

"Silencing spell." Her breath hitched when his hands pulled her knickers off, realizing that he was completely starkers, how had she not noticed that when he first cuddled against her?

"I've been thinking about you, like this, all damn day." They both heard something smash outside their door and then a giggle.

"Foolish Weasley."

"How do you know it's him?" She asked, tugging him back on top of her.

"He has some tart with him, showing off. You missed it, in fact, be glad you did." Hermione laughed and listened as a spell or two were cast outside the door and then heard muffled voices.

"At least he's finally with someone, tart or not. Speaking of…"Hermione pushed him off, deciding instead she wanted to dominate him, to control the situation. His hands traveled immediately to her breasts as she watched him intensely, not wishing to break the spell again or to forget with whom she was being so intimate.

When students returned, Hermione was thankful to have Neville on staff and to have someone to talk to closer to her age, for once. He sat to her left at meals, which gave her ample opportunity to help him transition to teaching and help him become accustomed to being a professor.

"How was your first week?" Hermione asked the Friday of the first week of school, nibbling on her bread and drinking her pumpkin juice as Severus pushed his food around on his plate.

"Actually, better than I anticipated. Sprout has me with second and third years, and then my apprenticeship requirements are easy enough to complete in the evenings. I'm really excited for the Halloween Feast, we have a new species of pumpkin planted." Hermione couldn't help but smile her friend, who seemed so at home and happy in his new role.

"That's fantastic, Neville! When is Hannah coming to visit?"

"Next weekend, actually, you her uncle died so she's completely taken over The Leaky Cauldron, so it might be a while before she can come again, I'll have to apparate to London when I can." Hermione thought to her own days of separation from Severus, even when they hadn't spent evenings together, she still saw him at meals. She hoped Neville would not become too lonely.

"I'm sorry to hear that, I knew he was sick but had no idea it was so serious. How's married life otherwise?"

"Great, though I do miss her already." She heard Snape snort and push his food away.

"I'm sure she missed you, too. I know I would if I were her; I know how hard it is being separated from someone you love. It'll get easier the busier you are, I promise." Hermione patted his hand and smiled at him again.

"I'm glad you're here, I don't know how you did this without someone like you around."

"I had someone like me, sort of." Hermione cut her eye to Severus for a moment and then moved the pudding towards Neville. They finished in silence and she rose before either men.

"Your wife is welcome to stay at the castle when she visits, Longbottom, as long as it does not invite student chattering." Hermione heard Severus say as she left the table. It made her smile.

Later in their quarters, Hermione lounged on the couch as he came through, Minka playing with one of his socks.

"That was lovely, what you did for Neville." She remarked, not looking up from her marking. He tutted and pretended not to hear her, so she said it again.

"It was nothing; there's nothing barring him from having his wife here in the bylaws, it may not be common, but it makes no sense for staff not to have their spouses with them." She watched him unbutton his frock coat, then removed his trousers, leaving his undershirt and boxer briefs. It was a comfort.

"Well, all the same, thank you. He's nervous, but not nearly as nervous as I was."

"You didn't apprentice, you threw yourself to the wolves. He will be a competent Herbology professor when Pomona is finished with him." Taking the seat next to her, he threw his legs up onto the couch and put his feet on her legs.

"Getting comfy?"

"It's Friday, my dear, and I have no meetings this weekend. Why not save that marking and join me."

"I wish I could, but I have to brew my first round of wolfsbane tomorrow and Sunday, so if I don't finish this now, I'll have to do in sleep deprivation Sunday, and I'd much lie around and have my wicked way with you." She did stop marking long enough to tickle his foot with her quill but when he accidentally kicked her leg, she stopped, smirking at him. While she finished marking, he lay there with his feet tucked her her leg, falling asleep as she worked. Hermione finally finished, she sent her work to her desk and contemplated waking Severus, who looked quite comfortable, his neck resting on one of their plush pillows, a hand over his face, and the soft breathing of his sleep broke the silence of the room. Standing and stretching, she walked to his side and kneeled, rousing him gently.

"Severus, it's time for bed." Startled, he grabbed both of her shoulders before focusing on her face, his thumbs digging in sorely against the sockets of her arms; she winced and tried to pull away, but he held her firm. She wasn't frightened, though.

"Come on, darling." Hermione leaned her head to the side and kissed one of his fingers, he finally registering where he was and with whom. Silently, he released her arms and she helped him stand and then walked with her arm around his waist to the room, helping him remove his clothes as he sat on the edge.

"I'm sorry." He said, catching her face.

"Goodnight, Severus." Kissing his cheeks, she leaned him back and covered him with the quilt, before crawling in next to him and turning the lights out.

Weeks later, Hermione received an urgent floo from Harry, Ginny had gone into labor that morning. Even though Molly and Arthur were watching James and Teddy, Hermione wanted to go to the hospital to be with Ginny if she could. Walking to Severus' office, she took the stairs up and found him in a meeting with Sinistra, so she waited. When Sinistra finally walked out, Hermione went through.

"Ginny's gone into labor, with your permission I'd like to go to St. Mungo's. I have instructions for Pomona, she volunteered to take my classes tomorrow." He folded his fingers together, the meeting with Sinistra had obviously not gone well.

"Permission approved. Floo me later."

"You could come by, if possible." She waited until he stepped away from the desk to kiss and hug him, and then stepped through his floo. "Tell me about Aurora later." He nodded again.

"Send my regards, I'll be by later if I can get away." Hermione flooed away, stepping through and going to the elevators. She found Ginny's brothers and sisters-in-law waiting by their room, but since no one was at the door and it didn't sound like things had moved along too much, she knocked on the door and went through. Harry looked up immediately.

"Thank goodness. She just fell asleep." Harry looked ashen and pale, worried.

"What's wrong?"

"The baby was turned again, they've just turned it. She was in so much pain and they didn't give her anything, so I've been sitting here feeling useless." He enveloped her in hug.

"Do need anything? Food, a drink?"

"Food- something hot and quick." She kissed his cheek and left, walking passed the waiting area and to the cafeteria. By the time she got back, Harry was sitting next to George, and lunged for the food in her hands. It reminded her of their school days, he and Ron scarfing down food at every meal.

Hours passed and there was no progress, but at one am, Harry finally emerged with a smile on his face. They hadn't heard any screaming this time, aside from the cries of the new baby.

"It's a boy!" Harry yelled, receiving a big hug from Ron and his brothers-in-law. Hermione walked to the desk and sent messages to Severus and Molly and Arthur, telling them the name would be arriving shortly. As before, she allowed the rest of the family to go in and waited until everyone had dissipated, knowing Ginny would be overwhelmed with guests. When it was finally her turn, she entered the room and found Ginny fast asleep and Harry holding the baby, who he promptly handed over to her.

"He looks like James, except his hair is reddish right now." Harry remarked as the tiny baby yawned in her arms, reminding her so much of James.

"We've decided to call him Albus, Albus Severus. And we want you and Severus to be his godparents." Hermione eyes instantly filled with tears, and as though he'd been called , Severus was standing at the door, mouth open and completely still.

"Harry, really?" Hermione's tears spilled over and though she tried to wipe them away, it was hard while holding the baby.

"Yes, we've talked about it for months, but we didn't know how you would feel about it, Severus. We knew Hermione would agree, of course." Ginny woke up and looked at the odd scene, Hermione holding her new baby and Severus at the door.

"I would be honored." Was his reply, coming to Hermione's side and looking down at the little boy.

"Albus Severus." Hermione whispered as he opened his eyes, showing her the fierce green eyes of Harry and Lily, breaking the trend of babies having traditional blue eyes at birth. It was so shocking she tilted him up towards Severus, who seemed lost in them. Standing so he could sit, she handed Albus over to him and watched as he tried to adjust. She wondered if he was thinking of Lily, how this could've been their grandchild, but she really didn't think he was.

"It's so hard remembering James this small now." Hermione remarked, sitting on the edge of the chair with her arm around Severus's shoulder.

"He is bigger than James was, poor Ginny." Harry laughed. They all looked at Ginny, the laughing continuing. Severus seemed to adjust to holding Albus and leaned back into the seat, cradling him a little tighter.

"Well, we'll leave you to it. Enjoy your sweet boy. Do you need anyone for Teddy and James?" Hermione hugged them both.

"Mum and Dad have them, but we could use help this weekend because Fleur is being induced on Friday and they are watching their two." Before leaving, Hermione kissed Albus' cheeks and then wrapped her arm around Severus' waist. It was hard to leave, but she felt completely light and in awe that they had chosen she and Severus to be his godparents.

"I can't believe he's already here and so sweet. And I can't believe they chose us. Are you sure you're okay?" Severus held her arm as they went to the floo, looking lost and contemplative.

"I'm merely surprised, but honored. It's a responsibility I never thought I would take on or that anyone would trust me to do again, after Draco." Hermione went first into the floo and waited for him to come through.

"Of course Harry trusts you and Ginny always has."

"Trusting me and then trusting me with their son are different things; he'll eventually know about the things I've done..."

"Well, I am involved as well so if you are terrible at it, it'll be alright." She joked, putting her arms around him and resting her head on his chest, trying to assuage his sense of guilt.

"True, there is that."

"You'll be fine, you're wonderful with Teddy and James, and Albus will love his Uncle Severus, even if he is a Potter/Weasley." He leaned in for a kiss and smiled his odd smile.

"Poor kid with names like Albus and Severus, I would never have passed that name down."

"Harry wanted to honor you both, I'm sure they'll give him a nickname." They walked together to their quarters, but Hermione couldn't sleep. All she could think about was the tiny baby she'd just held who was her godson. A smile remained stained her face as she thought about Teddy, James, and Albus playing together in the gardens, or running through the halls of Hogwarts, or playing quidditch.

"Are you ever going to sleep?" He murmured, looking over at her about three hours after he'd fallen asleep.

"I can't, all I can think about is Albus. It's dreadful, I know, stupid hormones." His eyes flickered towards her, taking the meaning.

"It's understandable, that room reeked of estrogen." She smacked him lightly and turned towards him, her head resting on his arm.

"It was the same with James, it'll pass." He was pensive, staring at her through hooded lashes. With his fingers he turned her face towards him.

"Two years, Hermione, in two years we can consider our future in better detail." He pulled her tight, thinking about baby Albus as well and the responsibility of being his godfather.

"Two years." And when they were both quiet for a while, Hermione finally fell asleep, surprised he'd even brought up their future again and though he hadn't directly said the words, hinted there might be a future where they had their own child. She wasn't even sure if she would be a good mother or if she wanted children of her own, but at least the door was unlocked, even if it wasn't completely open.

"Aunt Hermione, have you seen Alby? He is tiny like James was and he doesn't cry, it's so weird." Teddy took her hand as soon as she walked through the door, taking Severus's as well.

"Can we play chess later?" Teddy asked, looking up to Severus who nodded at him.

"Have you been practising?"

"Yes, but Uncle Ron isn't as good as you, so I don't know if I am better." Hermione and Severus both snorted, finding James and Harry at the dining room table and Ginny in the den, rocking Albus.

"So Alby?" Hermione asked Harry, kissing James's cheek.

"Yes, as soon as we introduced them, Teddy called him Alby and it just kind of fits." Letting Teddy take her into the kitchen, Hermione knew he wanted a biscuit.

"Do you want tea as well?"Teddy nodded, wrapping his arms around her waist.

"I wish you could be here all the time."

"Me too, sweetheart, but you'll be at Hogwarts in two years and I'll be there. We'll have tons of time together."

"But you'll be my teacher and I won't be able to hug you." Hermione bent down to face him.

"I will always have time for you, Teddy, even if you're being naughty." She handed him his cup and biscuits and sent him to the dining room where Severus had set up the chess board and was waiting for Teddy to join him. Taking James, Hermione sent Harry to rest.

"I'll watch him, go sleep that way I can help with Albus so Ginny can sleep later." Harry didn't hesitate, he bounded up the stairs.

"Do you want some tea?" Hermione looked to Severus who was already plotting his first move.

"No, I'll get it, James looks hungry." Taking James into the kitchen, she found the mashed peas and pulverized chicken he was to eat for dinner and took it back to the dining room, listening to Teddy and Severus hem and haw over moves, each one taking their time between moves. It was interesting to watch Teddy morph when he contemplated his moves, looking far more like Remus when he did, his dusty brown hair and hazel eyes taking her back to her third year.

"Did you miss your Aunt Hermione, James?" He grinned a toothy grin and took a bite of chicken, laughing as Teddy suddenly morphed into Severus, dark hair and eyes, almost an exact replica of him, striking really.

"Teddy! You're getting so good." Hermione remarked, watching him blush slightly. As he transitioned back to his regular appearance, Hermione saw what a curly, brown-haired Severus would look like, Severus must've seen it too, because he looked over to her and James, the oddest curl of his lip present.

"Well, we enjoyed it, didn't we, James?" When he was finished with his food, Hermione carried him upstairs and read him a few stories before washing him up, changing his nappy, and putting him to bed. When she came back down the stairs, Ginny was asleep with Albus in a bassinet.

"Ginny, go on upstairs, I've got him." Severus, taking a break from his game, helped Ginny up the stairs. Gently rocking the bassinet, Hermione put a charm on it and rested next to him in the lounger, staring down at the boy who had changed so much in five days, his hair looking more brown and his skin less red. When he became a little fussy, she changed him and found that he was more alert than James had been when he first came home.

"You're going to be a watcher, huh, sweet boy?" Taking Albus from the changing tray, Hermione cradled him against her, unable to look away from his brilliant eyes. Severus found her transfixed.

"He isn't going anywhere."

"I know, but he's so lovely, awake. Look, it's as though he can read my mind." Severus crouched behind her and looked down at his godson, becoming enamored as well. Albus's eyes twinkled, much like the man for whom he was named, but when Hermione tried to place him back in the bassinet, he scowled.

"And that's where the 'Severus' comes in, huh?" She laughed, kissing the baby before placing the charm back on the bassinet. As it rocked, his scowl turned into a faint smile before he fell asleep again.

"Stay with him while I tuck Teddy in?" Hermione asked, standing to go. His arm caught hers before she took another step.

"I'll tuck him in, you can stay." Smiling and standing on her toes to kiss him, Hermione smacked his bum as he walked away and took her seat again. Teddy came and said goodnight.

"Make sure he reads with voices, Teddy." Severus smirked before leading Teddy out of the room by his shoulder and walking quietly up the stairs. Hermione faintly heard water running and then muffled voices, but it all faded when she closed her own eyes, checking the charm to make sure it would alert her if Albus stopped breathing. She didn't hear Severus come back down the stairs or even Ginny a few hours later when it was time for Albus to eat. Severus finally woke her by carrying her up the stairs and placing her gently on the bed.

"You'll be no help if you don't sleep as well."

"Did Teddy like his story?" Hermione stifled a yawn, the moon so bright they didn't even need a light to see.

"Of course, telling stories is one of my special qualities, you know." She pulled herself closer to him, making him the small spoon. It was often she did this, but she wanted to hold him as tightly as possible before having to return to reality.

"Love you, goodnight." She whispered, kissing the back of his neck, nuzzling into his neck, her arm tucked under his, her hand on his stomach,and her leg thrown over his. In her hazy sleep, she heard him clear his throat and turn to her slightly.

"Love you, Hermione." This time she heard him and smiled against him, kissing his shoulder blade and giving him a quick squeeze.

When morning came, he was back to his normal, curt self, but Hermione knew buried beneath layers of black clothing and snide remarks was a complicated man who loved her and her family, the extended family she'd created with Harry and the Weasleys. It made her happier than he knew that he was becoming just as integral to them all as she was.


	12. Chapter 12

**AN: this is a transitional chapter before a couple of huge plot moving actions occur in chapter 13 and 14. Thank you again for your lovely reviews and readership! Please let me know what you think!**

Chapter 12

The Halloween Feast came quickly, the Great Hall adorned with Neville's new pumpkins and the sky bewitched with all sorts of Halloween treats. As the feast commenced, Hermione saw Sinistra and her husband walk outside and suddenly remembered she'd never asked Severus about their conversation. She made a mental note to ask him about it when they went back to their quarters that evening.

The students gorged themselves on pumpkin pasties and candy, Severus had supplied them all with a chocolate frog, their own wizarding cards in the mix. For as tough as he tried to appear all the time, he had certainly given them all a fantastic feast. It made her look forward to Christmas and the Czech singers who would be performing "The Phantom of the Opera". Before she could really enjoy it, though, she knew her second practical was approaching and she didn't feel nearly as prepared as she hoped to be. Taking a sip of her pumpkin juice, Hermione toasted across the table with Filius and Pomona, finding Neville and Hannah at the end of the table.

"I'm retiring, good night." Hermione left the Great Hall and immediately began a list of things she needed to accomplish before her practical in the middle of December, as the students left for holidays. She'd received a letter that the same evaluator was coming to test her, so that was one less thing she needed to worry about; at least she knew what to expect. Walking into their private lab, Hermione set out her cauldrons and information for her brewing before shooing Minka from the lab.

"Your father spoils you." She said to the kitten, finding a smirking Severus in their sitting area.

"She never attempts to come to the lab with me, so how can I be spoiling her?"

"So you aren't the one leaving treats for her every morning?" He threw up his hands.

"I have no idea to what you are referring, my dear." Hermione changed out of her robes and joined him on their sofa.

"I wish you could help me tomorrow. I'm going to ask Bernard and Tooey, they seem competent enough. Thoughts?"

"Adequate students, both need help in defense and arithmancy, so if potions becomes takes too much time, I will ask that you choose another two students."

"Fair enough, boss. Maybe I can sneak in some arithmancy as we work? Anyway, you never told me what was up with Sinistra the night Alby was born." Severus's hands stopped rubbing her shoulder and an odd look crossed his face.

"She is leaving Hogwarts, I will have to find a replacement, which puts a bit of a kink in our situation." Hermione frowned, who was next in line? Vector? "Filius is getting on, Pomona will retire in a few years, and Hagrid cannot, so that leaves Crowe and Vector."

"I can see why Crowe would be a disaster, but I always really enjoyed Vector's class, I mean she hasn't said much to me as a colleague, not more than pleasantries…"Hermione paused, searching his face. "You had a relationship with her as well?"

"We're holled up in this castle for ten months out of the year...it was when I first came here, before Aurora. It did not end well. She might be spiteful."

"Her job isn't worth being that spiteful, I hope. Too bad Neville isn't a full professor, he may be terrible at potions, but he's a great diplomat." Hermione stretched her fingers out. "What if you asked Pomona and then, knowing she's leaving, tell her she can share those duties with Neville, that way he's trained. Avoid Vector, fill the position."

"Perhaps, I don't know if he'll stay with his wife so far away."

"Connect their floos, Neville would be able to go home in the evenings and could be here almost instantly if you needed him. I'm just saying, it's better than dealing with a horrid ex-lover."

"I will think on it, thank you." His head leaned against hers, feeling himself soften and relax against her.

"Ginny sent us a picture." Hermione accio'd the letter over and showed him the picture of Albus. "Look at how much he's changed." Severus took the photo and scanned the little boy's face; he looked remarkably like Harry and James, except for his eyes, which were Lily's.

"And here's one of all three boys, James and Alby look so much alike, except for their eyes."

"Potters through and through."

"But with Weasley personalities, well except for Alby, I think he will surprise us." Hermione put the pictures in the frame on the coffee table, replacing Albus's ultrasound picture with his first moving picture.

"Teddy also wrote you a letter, but I didn't open it. Here." Severus broke the seal and laughed, looking at the drawing Teddy had made for him and the subsequent text.

"He's written me a story."

"He's such a doll, you'll have to write him back." Severus sent the correspondence to his desk and then reached for her, leading them to the bedroom where the both collapsed on the bed, ready to catch up on sleep after a very long week.

As Hermione's practical and Christmas approached, she felt an eerie sense of calm, as though she'd blocked the last two Christmases from her memory. She knew if she dwelled on the past, she would find only misery, so she threw herself into research, lesson planning, and studying; filling her free time with theories and practical knowledge, unsure of what exactly she would be tested on this time. With students assisting the brewing for the infirmary and even Severus when he was able, Hermione found a steady balance between her classes, her time with Severus, and her projects, though she did look forward to the break.

The morning of her practical, Hermione woke to find Severus gone. Grabbing her dressing gown, she went through to the sitting area and found him in his pajamas, arranging a table for their breakfast, Minka staring up at him in hopes of a morsel dropping from the table. Looking lost in thought, he suddenly noticed her in the door frame, looking disheveled and lovely.

"I thought you might like breakfast here to avoid the children." She took several steps to be at his side and kissed him softly before taking the seat he had pulled out for her.

"This is perfect, thank you." Reaching for his hand, she gently laced her fingers between his for a moment and kept eye contact, wanting him to know just how thankful she was to have him in times of stress.

"You even have the raspberry jam! You are so thoughtful." Buttering her toast, Hermione then added the jam she so loved from Marks and Spencer. Severus watched in wonder at how easily she was pleased, but also felt momentarily relieved that he'd remembered the raspberry jam at all.

"I have something else for you later, but you'll have to wait." She pretended to scowl, but couldn't hold it as his matched hers so effortlessly. They ate in silence aside from the scrapes and swallowing, both of them content to eat in quiet. Hermione showered quickly, pressed her black dress against her skin, and went to the laboratory after giving Severus a kiss and hug.

"You will pass, now go on; being tardy won't help anything." Hermione kissed him once more and went down the hall to the lab, passing several students and Neville Longbottom as she did, all giving her a polite nod. When she entered the room, she found the same potioneer with his glamour again and instructions. Only one potion this time, but three essays on surprise ingredients. He gave her the option of either brewing first or writing first; she chose to write and then brew, knowing she would have plenty of time for the potion. Hours after she'd begun, she reluctantly handed over her essays, each longer than she'd ever written and started the potion. She was to create the Draught of Living Death, but without two ingredients. It was her job to find alternatives and complete the potion based on those circumstances. Sweat beading at her forehead, she thought back to her days as a student, to her practical knowledge, and to her efforts in saving Severus. She knew immediately she needed murtlap, but couldn't remember what she could substitute for the sloth brain. It took several minutes before she decided to use the brain of a cat, though not as slow as a sloth, cats still slept an inordinate amount of time. Hoping the infusion would produce the same pale lilac color and then clear, she added the final ingredients and stirred. The reviewer came over and marked noted with his quill, the potion was clear but it hadn't turned lilac, it turned aubergine instead. Antsy and unsure, Hermione waited, wanting to know desperately if her choices had been correct. Time seemed to pass slowly, far slower than the last time, until finally he looked up to her and handed her a piece of paper.

"Your essays will be reviewed and your score will be ready by Christmas. Good day, Professor Granger." She looked down at the paper: Outstanding. She muttered her thanks and took steps immediately to her quarters with Severus, knowing he would be in his office or checking on classes, she collapsed onto their bed and cried; the stresses of the months leading up to that day forced raw emotion from her. WIthout thinking, she stepped into the floo and went to Grimmauld Place.

"Ginny?" She called out.

"Upstairs." Hermione took the steps two at a time, she just needed someone familiar, someone from her past.

"What is wrong?" Ginny asked upon seeing Hermione's tear-stained face. In seconds, Hermione had enveloped Ginny in a hug.

"I passed the second part, I don't know why I'm crying so hard. I just needed to get away for a minute and see you. How are the boys?" Ginny offered her a tissue and walked with her to the nursery.

"Congratulations! I'm sure it's just the stress." They went into the nursery and Hermione saw James completely asleep, but Albus staring at them from his crib so she lifted him and held him tightly against her.

"I needed Albus therapy, huh?" He almost smiled, little dimples standing out.

"Did you tell Severus?"

"No, I'm sure he was busy. I was just so overwhelmed; I'm so glad you're home. And I know we'll be here in a few days, but it's always so hectic and I barely get to talk to you." Ginny smiled, thinking of Christmas and seeing all of her family.

"True, but it's lovely to have so many people around. This house gets lonely sometimes when it's just us. Harry has been going on more raids recently, so it's just been me and the boys, and Teddy spends most of the day at school." Hermione knew how she felt or at least commiserated; that's how she'd felt when she worked for the ministry.

"I'll see if Severus can stay a few more days, I will regardless. I am taking a break from my project until we go back. My brain is going to explode." She couldn't take her eyes off of Albus, his sweet face, his hair still a tinge of red. Giving him another tight squeeze, she placed him back in his crib and hugged Ginny again.

"I better get back before Severus sends a search party. Love you, Gin." Ginny replied in kind and they walked back down the stairs to the floo. Hermione reluctantly stepped through and said goodbye to Ginny, finding herself quickly back at Hogwarts. Severus was not in their quarters nor in his office, so she went to find Neville and Pomona to see how her students had faired that day.

"Patrickson blew up his cauldron; it was really my fault, I didn't notice he crushed his boysenberry instead of slicing it. But, otherwise, everyone was fine. The headmaster came through a few times, he intimidated a few unruly ones." Hermione laughed, remembering exactly how it felt to be intimidated by him.

"I owe you both dinner when we return from Christmas hols and I won't take no for an answer." She put a hand on both of their shoulders and smiled, grateful to work with such kind and giving people.

"Headmaster, we were just talking about you." Pomona said as the door creaked open and Severus stepped through. Spinning on her feet, Hermione turned to him. He noticed that her eyes were puffy immediately.

"Only one cauldron explosion, I consider this day a success." He teased, coming to stand next to them.

"Hermione has amazing classroom control- aside from those pesky Hufflepuffs in fourth year, I'll be speaking to them, by the way." Pomona added their names to a list she kept in her pocket.

"Hannah is coming for dinner, do you want to join us?" Neville offered.

"I cannot, but thank you Neville, I'm helping Filius with detention, speaking of which, see you all in the morning." Pomona waved to them and left her classroom, leaving Severus, Hermione and Neville alone. Hermione didn't want to answer for Severus, but she was also quite hungry, thankfully he answered for them.

"That would be agreeable. What time?"

"She is meeting me at the Three Broomsticks in thirty minutes, would that be enough time?" Hermione smiled and nodded, knowing it would take them about that long to walk to Hogsmeade. She watched as Severus sent a message to Sinistra and then followed her and Neville from the classroom, surprised that he had agreed.

"How is Hannah doing, Neville, we haven't had a chance to talk since October." Neville walked slightly ahead of them, it was obvious he was ready to see his wife.

"She's been so busy with customers and deciding what to do with the shop next to her. It's up for sale and we've talked about buying it, but don't know what should go in it."

"Hmmm...well, not another clothing store, I hope. Perhaps a mixed bag, like an apothecary, book store, and I don't know, something else useful so more shopping can be accomplished in one place." Hermione said, wanting to take Severus's arm as they strolled. Neville hadn't asked about him and she hadn't told him they were officially together, though the staff might've said something. Although Neville attended all of the Christmas parties at Harry's, it wasn't as though she and Severus were inseparable; he might not have been observant enough to see they were together.

"That's brilliant!" Neville turned slightly towards her, watching her watch Severus.

"Every now and then…" Severus snorted, before he opened the door for them, ushering them to the table where Hannah was waiting.

"It's so lovely to see you, I hope you don't mind that Neville invited us." Hermione said, kissing Hannah's cheek and then taking her seat.

"Of course not, I never get to see you when I come to the castle, you're always so busy. How was your practical?"

"I passed the potion section, but my essays still have to be evaluated. I'm so nervous, but I did my best."

"Sorry, sir, good evening. I'm being so rude. How are you?" Hannah smiled at the both of them.

"I'm well, Mrs. Longbottom, though ready for Christmas."

"We're booked solid for four weeks straight, I hope I can get to Harry's party. I've sent my gift ahead, it's Draco, just in case Harry forgets." Hermione laughed, knowing how forgetful Harry could be sometimes.

"He's been pretty busy, according to Ginny, so I'm sure he'll forget. I'll remember, though." The waitress came and took their orders. Hermione noticed that Hannah refused her wine.

"What potion did you have to brew?" Neville asked as their bread arrived.

"Draught of living Death, except without sloth's brain and wormwood. I had to improvise the ingredients, which had me rather worried for a moment because the potion turned aubergine before it cleared. I knew for sure I would've killed a tester. And I could've chosen the juniper berries, but they didn't give me gloves or a mask, and I didn't fancy dying today." She buttered her bread and tore off a bite before drinking her wine, the sweetest wine she'd tasted in months.

"How terrifying." Neville shuddered, unable to even imagine having to substitute ingredients.

"What did you use as replacement ingredients." Severus asked, eyeing her with a bit of laughter around his eyes.

"Cat's brain, murtlap, and ginger root. I'm sure it was the combination of the murtlap and ginger root that caused the discoloration. I'm just thankful to have another part completed." Neville raised his glass to toast her.

"We knew you could do it, Hermione." They all clinked glasses, Severus looking rather pleased with her, though not saying much as they chattered about other goings-on at the school.

"That was the most delicious trifle I've ever tasted." Hermione remarked as they made their way back to the castle, Hannah and Neville traveling further behind them, their hands entwined.

"Thank you for coming with me." She whispered to Severus, whose eyes stayed on the castle as they walked, but as though an invisible thread pulled him towards her, his arm found her shoulders for a moment.

"It was tolerable." She knew that was the highest compliment he would pay the situation. When he didn't move his arm, she was surprised, perhaps he didn't think Neville was much of a gossip or he didn't care at all that anyone know they were together; he had said such the last time they'd had dinner at the Three Broomsticks.

"I will be glad when my brain stops."

"Does it ever?"

"Well, maybe you can distract me." He finally looked at her, noting the flirtation in her eyes before releasing her shoulders and finding her hand for a moment.

"I had planned to." He'd leaned down to her and whispered in her ear, then turned to Neville and Hannah. "Thank you for inviting us to dinner, have a good evening." Severus bowed slightly and watched as Neville seemed slightly stunned, but nodded as well. Hermione and Severus walked to their quarters and within seconds she turned to him.

"I think Hannah is pregnant." She remarked, undoing her robes and taking her shoes off.

"I had the same thought, though I don't think she's told her husband."

"Neville, poor thing, he can be rather clueless about women sometimes."

"Understatement of the year. She could literally be giving birth and he'd have no clue." Hermione helped him with his buttons and then wrapped herself around him, her arms encircling his waist and taking in his scent, the tightness of his arms around her, his chin on her head.

"A few more days and we'll have a different kind of stress...speaking of which, I went to visit Ginny for a minute this afternoon, do you think you could stay a few more days at Grimmauld Place?" He pulled back from her, his eyebrow arched. "She's lonely, she needs us."

"How can she be lonely in a house full of people?"

"But, it's not full...when everyone leaves, it's just her and the boys. She went from playing professional quidditch to having three sons in as many years. I know that monotony. I am staying and she asked me to extend the invitation to you." He kissed her softly, pulling her in again.

"I will speak with Sinistra, her husband is staying here this year."

"Thank you." His fingers went into her hair and she felt herself swoon.

"I almost forgot, I have something for you." Stepping away from her, Severus went to his desk and retrieved a large box. "I wanted to wait until you passed your second stage." Hermione took the box and noted it's weight immediately. Walking to her desk, she slowly opened the package and found a cauldron.

"The rest of this mastery is a formality, we both know you will pass and once you do, you'll be in demand. I thought you could use this." It was titanium and engraved with her name.

"Between my amazing travelcase and this, I really must pass or you've wasted money and energy." Her eyes flooded, running her fingers across the nameplate." 'Hermione Granger, Potions Master.' She felt his arms encircle her again, his chin resting on her shoulder this time.

"You will pass, you're already far ahead any of your peers. Next year at this time, you'll only have your defense and brewing in this will make things much easier, especially when you brew your last wolfsbane." All the years she'd wanted his approval, for him to support her, to acknowledge how hard she worked, hit her at once.

"You have no idea what this means to me, Severus." She turned in his arms, slobbery kisses and all.

"Every potioneer should have a titanium cauldron, especially one who is going to cure a disease." She almost couldn't take it, his support. Noticing that her tears hadn't slowed, he tried to wipe them away. "Why did you go to Grimmauld Place?"

"I...I don't know really, I guess I just wanted to tell someone...I came in here and I cried, so relieved, but I didn't want to walk the halls that silly looking, so I went to see Ginny and the boys. Alby was awake." He didn't ask any further questions, he simply leaned down and kissed her ardently, before taking her to their bedroom.

"Still need distraction?" His guttural question made her tremble.

"Most definitely." He divested of the rest of their clothes quickly and found distracting her to be the best part of his days, of any day.

"You look so lovely!" Hermione remarked going through the door of Grimmauld Place, finding Ginny in a red dress fitted so well it did not seem she had a newborn and toddler.

"You're being kind, I feel like a fat cow. Come on, Harry has a new cocktail he wants you to try, some Russian thing he had in Moscow." Severus dropped their presents under the tree and followed her to the den where Harry was mixing drinks, looking like a proper bartender behind the bar. Ron and Justin Finch-Fletchley were already at the bar, as well as Luna and Rolf.

"Here, Severus, try this." Harry shoved a drink into Severus's hand and then poured one for Hermione, who drank hers quickly.

"The cranberry is divine." Hermione mused, hugging Ron and then Harry before taking a refill and going to the kitchen.

"Here's to a drama-free Christmas. If he does something this year, Ginny, I might just lose it. We haven't had a row in months, I don't want one now." Hermione whispered, as she and Ginny gathered platters for the feast. Taking Hermione's hand for a moment, Ginny took a quick sip of her drink.

"He won't, he moved you into his quarters. You're practically married, you know."

"True, but we're not." They exchanged knowing looks and took the food to the table, finding it transfigured for far more people than the previous year.

"Teddy is already asleep?" Hermione asked, searching the room for him.

"He's volunteered to watch James and Albus." Frowning, Hermione looked up to the stairs, she hated to miss Teddy. Taking her seat across from Severus and between Neville and Ginny, Hermione smiled at him, the vodka easing her greatly the more she drank. Harry gave a toast and wished everyone a happy Christmas before conversation picked up, everyone catching up over delicious platters of food. Every now and then, Hermione glanced to her man, in conversation with Rolf and Luna, both detailing some horrid adventure in Colombia. It pleased her to see him comfortable and even happy and wondered if he was slowly becoming more accustomed to being surrounded by an odd sort of family at Christmas.

When it was time for the gift exchange, Hermione found Draco to give him Hannah's gift and then Charlie Weasley, for whom she had purchased new dragonhide chaps for his pants.

"You know you're my favorite Weasley, aside from Ginny of course." Hermione said, hugging him tightly.

"I hope the dragons don't get wind of the production of these." They both laughed as Hermione felt a tap on her shoulder. Turning, she found Neville staring at her.

"Happy Christmas, Hermione." Hermione took the gift and opened it slowly, finding a set of journals, blank, and new quills. She threw her arms around him, so thankful for new journals.

"Maybe these will be the journals that hold the cure for lycanthropy." Hermione almost cried, but stopped herself as Luna came to Neville's side, handing him his Christmas gift. She scanned the room for Severus and found him with Harry, who seemed rather excited about his gift. When she walked over to them, she realized that Severus had given him some old pictures of Lily Evans Potter arranged in a frame he'd made himself. He hadn't even told her who he'd gotten and she certainly hadn't seen him make the gorgeous frame. Harry was quiet, but beaming.

"Albus makes this exact face, look Hermione." Hermione looked to the picture and noticed immediately the sweet look. Sometimes Severus really surprised her.

"That is a lovely gift, you'll not top that one if you draw Harry again, Severus."

"I have a few tricks up my sleeve." He took her hand and held it, continued to hold it for a while as their friends and family opened and exchanged gifts, Severus receiving a particularly fine set of stirring rods from Denis Creevey. After another set of cocktails from Harry, Hermione and Severus retired to bed, this time Hermione kept her distance once they were in the room, Minka curled sweetly at the end of the bed. After changing into her Christmas nightgown, she wrapped a blanket around herself and waited for Severus to return from the loo.

"Your feet are bloody cold." His legs shook as he crawled into bed next to her, pulling her as close as possible.

"Charm the covers, wizard." Immediately, she felt the warmth of the charm and brought his hand to hers, lacing her fingers through them.

"Happy Christmas, Severus." Kissing his fingers, she closed her eyes and yawned, trying her best to calm her mind.

"Happy Christmas, Hermione, now go to sleep." He yawned against her, still shivering slightly.

"What if I can't?"

"I'll stun you, keep yours eyes closed; you're as bad as Teddy. Father Christmas won't come if you aren't asleep, chit." Hermione stifled a giggle but it was no use.

"Father Christmas will send your gifts back." He added, nibbling her neck.

"That's not going to entice me to sleep, Severus." She arched her back slightly against him, realizing how much alcohol she'd had when she felt her world spinning oddly, the room moving like a carousel.

"Sleep." He whispered against her, his lips traveling over her shoulder. In one quick motion, Hermione flipped him on his back and straddled him.

"Do you really want sleep?" She teased, moving her hips against him, noting that sleeping seemed like that last thing he wanted to do. Severus was too enticed to speak, so she continued, finding it quite easy to subdue him, taking her time with him.

"Thank you for the best Christmas I've had in ages." Hermione said, sliding off of him later.

"It's not over yet." He teased.

"You're incorrigible, Severus Snape. Get shagged on Christmas Eve, still a git." Laughing, she pulled the covers over his face and went to the loo.

"Just being realistic, dear."

"You almost sounded domestic for a moment, there, you know." She said, returning to him. The covers were completely disheveled, but warm.

Moments passed before she heard him say, "You've changed me." He admitted suddenly, putting his hand over hers on his chest.

"You've changed me too." Resting her head against his shoulder, she closed her eyes and saw their life together, the reading and writing, the brewing and discussing, the companionship she'd longed for ages and ages. Neither said another word, they simply drifted to sleep and woke in the morning, oddly wrapped in covers and ready to open presents.

The next morning, Severus and Hermione exchanged presents and headed to the dining room for breakfast where Harry and his family were finishing opening up presents.

"Thank you!" Teddy jumped up and ran to Hermione and Severus, pulling them both together in a tight hug, his little arms barely able to hold both of them.

"We thought it was time you had your own chess set." Hermione ruffled his hair and kissed his cheek after bending down to him.

"Can we play later?" He implored of Severus, who looked rather stiff with Teddy's arm at his waist.

"He hasn't had coffee yet, darling, he'll play later." Teddy was satisfied with that answer, so he ran back to James who was sitting and tearing paper as Severus went into the kitchen. Hermione couldn't resist grabbing Albus and snuggling him close as she watched the scene; it was nice being surrounded people at Christmas, especially since she had been an only child and her parents were now gone. Hearing an irritated huff from the kitchen, she rose to see Severus covered in water.

"What in the world happened?" She exclaimed, startling Albus in her arms.

"The faucet decided to explode. Potter!" Harry came running into the kitchen and had to stifle a laugh as Severus dried himself with his wand.

"Arthur's work- he swore it was fixed. Hold on." Harry cast a few spells and the water stopped, but Severus's scowl remained, far more annoyed than he had been moments before, but at least his coffee was brewing. Rocking Albus against her shoulder, Hermione walked over to Severus and kissed his cheek, hoping to ease him.

"Uncle Severus is not a morning person, Alby."

"Your Aunt Hermione has a great propensity for stating the obvious, young Mr. Potter." Hermione and Harry laughed as Albus finally calmed, he hadn't cried like that before in front of Hermione, so she was surprised to see him so upset.

"I think he genuinely responded to your discomfort, Severus, I've never seen him like this." Hermione lifted him from her shoulder and found that he was staring at Severus, his sharp green eyes wet with tears. In a move that shocked Hermione, Severus leaned down and wiped his eyes, looking as though he might place a kiss on his forehead, but instead he turned to Hermione and kissed hers.

"I've made plenty a Potter upset before." Even though he sounded severe, Hermione could see the laughter around his eyes, so she left him to his coffee and took Albus back to Ginny so she could start breakfast. The kitchen bustled with Harry and Hermione cooking and then sending food into the dining room, a bewitched radio played Christmas carols and it almost felt like a muggle Christmas from her youth.

"The black pudding might be a bit done, Hermione distracted me by singing." Hermione splashed him with her orange juice.

"Don't blame me for your carelessness, Harry!"

"You sound just like Severus, Hermione." Harry laughed, almost spilling his own juice, made worse when Severus nodded in agreement. The breakfast passed in pleasant conversation before they all cleaned up the dining room and den, Teddy challenging Severus to chess and then the Potters leaving for the Burrow to celebrate Christmas with the Weasleys. Ron stopped by momentarily with the woman he'd been seeing since the summer, making things much easier between he and Hermione. Hermione and Severus spent the afternoon lounging and then decided to go out for dinner, finding a small restaurant near Grimmauld Place open.

"Oh my!" Hermione said, as a letter dropped onto her lap, obviously from the Potions Mastery Board. Her curry moved to the side, she tentatively opened it and read the words: all essays received O's and suddenly the last weight of the holiday was lifted. Folding it back, she put it on the table and looked to Severus, who was searching her face for their decision.

"I've passed the essay portion, now they require my final proposal and research. It looks as though my final practical will be in December again and my defense in May, which is odd because students don't get out until June."

"Perhaps that is due to the fact that most Potions Masters teach upper level students, and in the collegiate setting, they are finished in May." He explained and she agreed, she'd always finished in May in her correspondence courses.

"True, now I just need to get back into my research. I have a few leads on alternative ingredients from from Ukraine, Frederick Darlington sent me a few interesting texts but I haven't even started translating them. I didn't want to work at all this break, but now I feel like I need to. What if I don't finish my research in time?" Her eyes closed, but he could see them fluttering, as though they powered her brain and the fluttering was fule.

"Hermione, stop." He folded his arms and forced her to look at him. "If you don't cure lycanthropy by May of next year, you will at some point. You are the first witch to come this far and your determination knows no bounds. You still have a year and a half, that is time enough to research and translate until your fingers are marked with cuts and stained with ink."

"I just don't want to fail." She sighed and stirred her tea before bringing it to her lips. "I'll worry another time, it's Christmas and it's been lovely. Thank you." He softened.

"Eat your curry." She pretended to scowl but returned to her dinner. They walked for a while before returning to Harry's home, the cool air chilling Hermione, so she wrapped one arm around Severus's waist beneath his heavy coat. They must've walked a couple miles before they realized they were close enough to Grimmauld Place without apparating. When Harry and Ginny returned from the Burrow, they found Severus reading with a sleeping Hermione tucked neatly into his side.

"She passed the essays." He said, not looking up at them, hearing a slight cheer from Ginny and Teddy, before Harry ushered them up the stairs to their rooms. Severus read for another hour before he reluctantly woke Hermione and helped her up the stairs. In each moment he'd wanted to retreat, to return to Hogwarts to remove himself from situations that weren't comfortable or which made him ill at ease, he only looked to her. She made it easy to stay. They stayed with the Potters until New Year Eve and then returned to Hogwarts and their regularly scheduled life, Hermione immersed in research and Severus on top of Hogwarts duties.


	13. Chapter 13

**AN: Posting a few days early because things have calmed a bit here in the land of work. Thank you to everyone who reviewed/sent private messages. Working on this story has been a true learning experience and it's the longest fic I've ever written at over 136,000 words. Hopefully, I can update again Sunday. Thanks again for reading and let me know what you think!**

 **Chapter 13**

It took Hermione a month before she felt she had a good plan for the final stages of her research, each day a new part of the plan was formulated. When she brewed the wolfsbane in January, Severus moderated and took notes, though he did not aid in the actual brewing. She still had two students to aid her, though between ingredients and brewing, she did spend a great deal of time talking about defensive spells and arithmancy, helping the two boys in their other classes as her promise to Severus had been. When Bill Weasley took the potion that month, his odd behaviors and symptoms disappeared, in February, he had no symptoms at all and his scars began to fade, as though the potion was reversing all traces of the werewolf encounter. Though she was pleased with the success of the potion, she found trepidation in moving further; Bill wasn't a full werewolf and therefore his promising results might not translate to one who was. Her February trial had included other people, but she would have to wait until at least March before she knew how successful it had been. Thankfully, the Czech singers returned at the end of February, giving her something to look forward to.

"I wish they could come every year." Hermione yelled across the quarters to Severus, who was brushing his teeth in the loo as she changed into her dress for the evening.

"Tell your wicked minister to release funds!" Hermione snorted, thinking about how much Kingsley had changed since becoming the Minister for Magic. She knew power changed people, but she hadn't thought he would change so much.

"Come on, woman, we will be late." His hand lightly grabbed her arm, spinning her to face him. "You are exquisite." Her hand came to his face and pulled him close, kissing him while she could ensconced in their quarters, her hands pressed into the folds of his shirt and buttons. They walked together to the Great Hall, where the sixth and seventh year students were waiting for the singers to begin. Taking the seat next to Severus, Hermione looked around the room and found Neville and Hannah, and the other professors who seemed just as excited as she was. When the conductor started, Hermione rested her elbow in the crook of Severus', a small sign of affection while not being too obvious. Even if the entire school knew they were dating, it still wouldn't feel completely appropriate to her if she was fawning over him in front of the students and staff.

Hours later when they finished, Hermione chatted with Neville and Hannah, who finally admitted she was expecting, and found Sinistra and her husband in an argument. Trying not to appear too eager to hear their argument, Hermione feigned interest in a conversation between Filius and John Crowe.

"Aurora and her husband had a terrible row after the performance, did you hear them?" Hermione asked, removing her stockings and her dress, immediately putting her pajamas on.

"No, I did not, but I did notice she was rather perturbed when he walked out."

"Apparently, he's taken a job in America and she thought he was taking the job in Wales. She might be staying here, though, Severus." He sighed, he didn't want to think about having to replace her, but he also didn't want a jilted woman as his deputy if she was going to fight with her husband across the pond.

"Merlin's beard." He swore as Minka attacked his socks.

"Your cat needs to calm down, this is the third pair she's ruined."

"So she's my cat when she's destructive? Come here, Minka, and stop destroying his socks, he might kick us out and that'll be to Hagrid's hut for you." Severus grabbed her around her waist as she passed, pulling her onto his lap.

"She's as insufferable as you are." He tickled her sides, his hands traveling across her in lightning speed, forcing laughter from her he rarely heard. When he finally stilled, she wrapped her arms around his neck and let her heartbeat slow.

"Someday, I will get you back when you least expect it." Placing a quick peck on his cheek, she went to brush her teeth and hair, braiding it quickly before finding him practically asleep in the chair.

"Come on, old man."

Hermione spent the rest of term in research, having her students who were in OWL and NEWT years create a cross table of potions and ingredients that would most likely come across their tests, using this time to create cross tables of her own research. When testing concluded in June, Hermione and Severus left for Bruges, where surprisingly they were both presenting material at the conference, much to Piers Devon's chagrin. He'd written Severus several letters begging for him to present something, and though he hadn't been focusing on potions, he did contribute one paper on the effects of Frankincense on memory. As he had the year before, Devon treated them with special attention when they arrived, seating them with prominent people at dinners and lunches, making sure they had the best lecture halls for their presentations. When it was Hermione's turn to present her latest research on wolfsbane and the success she'd achieved with Bill Weasley and four other ministry candidates, she found that the questions she received were far more in depth, as though some of the people who attended the previous year had read more of her work and wanted to contribute. One professor from Romania seemed especially keen to share with her some research he'd done as a younger man.

"Severus, this is…"

" Stieg Davenport." Severus extended his hand, recognizing him immediately.

"This fine young man was my apprentice, Professor Granger, many moons ago." Hermione stared between them, Severus didn't seem too eager to see him again.

"Davenport doesn't sound particularly Romanian." Hermione noticed, as she watched them stare each other down.

"My father was from Manchester, he met my mother during the first war and moved to her village."

"I'm sorry, that was rude of me." Hermione blushed, figuring out how Severus might've met the older, distinguished man before them as he was also from the same region.

"Not at all, I'm the only Davenport in my village, aside from my grandson. Now, should we eat? I have much to discuss with you, Professor Granger." He offered his arm to her and Hermione took it, looking to Severus again who seemed rather annoyed. They sat at a small table as far from prying eyes and ears as possible.

"I started researching a cure when I came home from a long trip to Canada. My son was bitten while we were there and I wanted to save him, it was foolish of me but I devoted most of my life to it, but without your brilliant mind. I can brew potions, but you have a mind that is capable of more." Hermione didn't quite know how to take the man before her, his salt and pepper hair curled slightly, his eyes a striking blue, so blue they looked like the sea.

"Davenport, what do you want? Flattery does not work with her." Severus interjected, cutting into his chicken.

"I want nothing more than to give her my research, Severus. And, it's not flattery, if you had been half the potions apprentice she is, then I would've given it to you." Stieg Davenport's cutting remarks almost caused Hermione to choke on her lunch. "Obstinate as ever; cut the smirk and remember this: I can recall you at your worst and I have no wish to revisit those memories unless you force me, boy." It was odd for Hermione to hear someone talking to and about Severus in such a way; she should've felt uncomfortable, but it suddenly made so much sense. Of course he would have a Potions Master who was as cutting and snide as he could be. Severus folded his arms across his chest but his facial expression went flat, making him look almost like a shark.

"Is your son still living?"

"No, unfortunately he died two years ago during an experimental treatment. His son suffers no ill effects from being the product of his relationship. It is my endeavor to make sure he never does." Hermione's fork stilled, she shouldn't have been so forward.

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"I've made peace with it. I planned to send you my research after the conference last year when Piers Devon sent me your papers, but life got in the way. If you are agreeable, we can host you while you go through it this summer, and of course we would like to compensate you as well."

"Compensation will not be necessary." She immediately replied, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"Never work for free, Professor, you will find that even the best of people will use you to their advantage. The compensation will be rewarded even if you refuse, you'll find I am quite obstinate in that." Severus snorted, finally returning to his lunch.

"I will check my schedule and get back to you before the end of the conference, is that agreeable?" Hermione asked, running the dates through her brain, she didn't want to miss James's birthday or Harry and Ginny's.

"Splendid, and Severus, do make sure she has plenty of space in the castle for it all when she returns." Hermione stifled a laugh, she could not handle the looks exchanged between the two. Stieg stood abruptly, thrusting his hand to her and excusing himself.

"Well, that was interesting. I didn't know you apprenticed with someone." Hermione thought about the man who had just left the table, he seemed rather abrupt with Severus was overall kind and welcoming like Albus Dumbledore, but she surmised that he might have the same, 'end justifies the means' mentality that Dumbledore had believed. Still, she looked over to Stieg Davenport as he left the room, his gray hair peppered with dark flecks and his smile towards her, at the door as he left, there was something endearing about him.

"I've blocked it from my memory." He sniped, pushing his food away and scowling.

"Should I be leary of him?"

"No, he's harmless if you aren't under his tutelage. I would worry more about him boring you with inane stories about potions he never brewed or places he never visited. He's as batty as Albus Dumbledore except far more cruel and manipulative."

"Will you come visit me?" His hand found hers for a moment across the table.

"If I must." He gave her a gentle squeeze before they left to attend a panel on valerian root, presented by Piers Devon who seemed just as keen as ever to see them. Hermione noted he was less handsy so far, perhaps he'd finally gotten the memo that she was steadfastly with Severus and not up for grabs. She tried to pay attention to his presentation and the questions, but her mind thought only of Romania and the amount of research she would be doing, which eventually filtered into another chasm in her brain contemplating what he knew that she didn't know.

On the last day of the conference, Hermione and Stieg met for breakfast and ironed out the details of her coming to Romania. She would leave directly after James's birthday party and return before Harry and Ginny's, effectively giving her a month.

"And invite Severus, he would do well with a break."

"He surely needs one."

"Our days together were bleak, we were both trying to navigate the world with a madman, I was a Death Eater as well, full disclosure. Severus was confused and lonely, I made things worse for him. It does me well to see him so accomplished now, though old wounds do take time to heal, please implore him to come. I know he'll miss you if he doesn't." Hermione gave him a shocked look. "He may seem blank to most, my dear, but I can read Severus like a book. There is nothing he could hide from me, especially not his affections."

"Well, at least we won't have to explain that when he comes to stay." Hermione shook his hand, glad to have met someone else who knew Severus as a young man, and watched him leave, looking rather older than he had the days before. When she made it back to their room, Hermione found Piers Devon coming out of his.

"Excellent panel, as usual, Professor Granger, can we expect you again next year?" Hermione stilled, hoping he hadn't seen her.

"I'm sure, unless I fail miserably my next practical or my research gets destroyed." She joked, though both made her heart instantly leap in fear.

"Thank you again, we had a stellar turnout because of you." Hermione tried to negate his compliment, but found her words lost when he took her hands. She tried to pull them back, but he held them securely.

"You're too kind." She finally said, preparing herself to use a hex if need be. He finally relented and released her hands when her door opened and Severus appeared. Sometimes she forgot she was Harry Potter's best friend, someone who had helped defeat Voldemort and that alone made her a kind of celebrity, not her potions work.

"Are you ready?" She heard Severus ask, nodding she immediately turned from Devon and went to grab her bags.

"Good day." Severus remarked, snidely. They walked to the portkey and found themselves quickly back in Scotland. It took hours for Hermione to finally calm herself from her meeting with Stieg Davenport. They spent the evening reading together on the sofa, Minka curled quietly between them. Every now and then, Hermione looked to Severus, stretched out so that her feet were on his lap. He seemed lost in thought, reading but not reading. Perhaps seeing Davenport again had dredged up old memories? She decided not to question him, but to let him bring it up if it bothered him enough. Instead, she relished the quiet of their rooms, the smell of the fresh flowers Winky had brought in from the gardens, and the man across from her who she couldn't imagine loving more than she did at that moment.

"James, look over here sweetheart." Hermione tried to get the two year old's attention as he sat smartly surrounded by gifts and cakes, his little brother sitting near him at Harry's feet, squealing in delight at the bubbles and balloons in the air. She tried to get a few good pictures to update the frame on her desk. Severus stood with the other adults talking about Hogwarts with Neville, whose wife looked positively besotted with the Potter boys. Teddy and the elder Weasley grandchildren ran through the garden playing, stopping only to grab a few snacks.

"Auntie!"He shouted, reaching for her as she came to sit next to him.

"What a spoiled boy." Harry laughed, watching James cuddle on Hermione's lap, wrapping his arms around her neck and giving her a wet kiss.

"James, are you ready to open presents?" He nodded profusely, looking at all the packages before him. After he'd ripped through the presents, all were shocked when Albus tried to stand and walk over to him, his little legs eventually giving out and forcing him to fall.

"Well, aren't you clever, Alby." Ginny scooped him up and brought him to sit next to James, both looking over the tiny broom Hermione and Severus had given him. Glancing for a moment to Severus, Hermione wondered what he and Neville were still talking about, thankful that he had been making efforts with surprised her that Neville was present without Hannah and Alice, his sweet new daughter. Severus caught her looking and gave her a soft nod, looking positively

Comfortable in his position under the awning.

"Auntie, eat?" Harry brought over cake to them, though James's ended up all over his face instead of in his mouth. Their laughs chorused through the garden, but Severus noticed Hermione's above everyone's, excusing himself from Neville he joined them on the ground, stealing a bite of her cake.

"Did you see Alby walk?"

"No, perhaps he'll do it again. Isn't he quite young to be walking?" Severus stole another bite, instantly regretting the amount of sugar he was ingesting.

"Sure enough, but he does have an older sibling, and he probably won't actually walk by himself for a while." As she spoke, James and Albus came to rest between them, Albus playing with the buckle on Severus's boot, smiling up at him with his toothy grin and bright green eyes. It was hard not to love Albus, his contemplative but sweet disposition made it difficult to tell him no, whereas James was always busy and into things, his truly apologetic nature and hilarity made it hard not to laugh when he did something wrong. Holding James tightly, Hermione gave him kisses on his cheeks.

"We're going to see your Uncle Charlie in a this summer, maybe he'll let me see his dragons." James jumped up, his arms spread wide, and pretended to swarm around them, causing Albus to laugh again and the older kids to join. Eventually, the all decided to fly, though were kind enough to stay low since James's broom only traveled a few feet off the ground. Hermione had worried Ginny would be concerned that James would hurt himself being so small and flying, but she noticed Ginny watching him in admiration, as though she was significantly pleased that he had inherited proper flying abilities from them.

"Come here, sweet boy." Hermione watched as Albus tried to walk to her, his legs still struggling. When he finally fell and crawled over to her, she held him tight, knowing that she would be spending much less time at Grimmauld Place that summer and seeing less of her godson. Teddy flew by them so close Hermione's hair moved, making Albus pause, suddenly contemplative and severe.

"He's just having fun, no need to be upset." Albus looked to Severus and then back to Hermione, the severe look still on his face. "Cheer up, you'll be wanting to fly with him soon enough. Here, Uncle Severus, you can cheer him up." Severus held out his arms for Albus who toddled over reluctantly, then fell against him, keeping his eyes on James and Teddy the entire time. Hermione snapped a picture of them, both looking mildly annoyed at the boys and girls flying around the garden.

"You two are quite a pair." Ginny mused, making a funny noise at Albus to get him to laugh, but he still wore his annoyed face. It took another ten minutes before he finally softened and smiled at Hermione, who tickled him lightly under his chin.

When the party was over, Hermione helped Ginny and Harry clean up while Severus finished packing their things. He was only going to be able to visit for a few days each week as not to leave Sinistra, who had decided to stay at Hogwarts, alone in charge of the castle for too long.

"Hermione, I have a question." Ginny had stopped folding the blankets which they'd sat on outside and looked to her friend, practically a sister.

"Yes?" Hermione couldn't possibly imagine what Ginny would want to ask, unless it was about her research.

"Do you think you and Severus will get married? Have kids?" Hermione dropped the dish she'd been washing at the sink, thankfully catching it moments before it shattered. How had Ginny known those thoughts had been plaguing her all afternoon, especially as Severus had sat with their godson, so willingly and almost appearing happy about it.

"I don't know, I mean we've talked about things changing when I am finished with the program, but our discussion about kids was so long ago, I don't really know if that has changed or ever will." Ginny poured tea into two cups and brought them to the dining room, Hermione followed her almost unable to stop the image of the little girl of her dreams from invading her mind.

"And what did that conversation consist of?"

"You aren't normally this curious?" Hermione retorted, sipping her tea.

"It's just, you're so good with the boys and you so obviously love them, I just wonder if that will be enough for you in the long run. I am not saying that not having children means you've lived less of a life, you're one of the most successful and driven witches I know, but I see you with them and it makes me wonder, Harry, too." Hermione could barely make eye contact with Ginny, knowing that he heart had begun to soften tremendously to the idea of a child with Severus.

"When I was with Ron, I knew I didn't want kids; nothing against him, I just didn't. But, since James, things have changed. I don't really know if I want children, honestly I don't, but I have this dream every so often of a little girl. She's running through a field of sunflowers with long, wavy dark hair and bright hazel eyes, with my dimples and his lips, and it makes me wonder what we'd be like as parents, he always pulls her to him and they look so lovely together...but," she paused, drinking more tea and thinking to their conversation, "I don't think he will ever want children and I can see why. His parents and childhood were nothing like ours, like Harry he didn't have a father figure, I'm sure the thought of it all is frightening. When we spoke of it before, he told me he didn't think he'd want children and that he didn't want to disappoint me if I did. And when Albus was born, he just said we'd talk about it when I was finished with my program, but I still don't think his mind will be changed. It's a great responsibility and requires so much sacrifice, and I rather think he's sacrificed enough of his life." Ginny sighed heavily, sad for Hermione and her obvious distress.

"It's not like I think about it often, but it does put things in perspective when we're here. I love those boys, all three of them, and I see him with them, a different man, and think, would he want that for himself?"

"It's understandable, we've all seen a different side of him since the war, and not just with the boys, with you, too. He's so careful with you and always watching, as though if one of us stepped out of line, we'd be hexed. I know it will be a difficult conversation, but you really should express this to him, even if you eventually decide you don't want children." Hermione nodded, knowing Ginny was right.

"In a year, I'll bring it up, but not now, there's no sense." As Hermione finished her sentence, they both looked over and saw James standing at the end of the table, his index finger in his mouth.

"Ready for bed, birthday boy?" Ginny squeezed Hermione's shoulder and followed James up the stairs, leaving Hermione to contemplate their conversation alone in the dining room. When she finally went up, after the dishes were finished and the rooms organized, she went into the nursery and kissed James and Albus on their foreheads, then to Teddy's room, where he was still up reading. She crawled into bed next to him and let him read to her. Minutes later, Hermione saw Severus at the door, watching them. Teddy continued reading and when he finished, gave Hermione a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.

"I'm exhausted; who knew a birthday for a two year old would be so demanding." Hermione fell against the bed, still completely clothed.

"You'll get no rest with Davenport, so I suggest you sleep now." She heard the seriousness in his voice, the warning.

"Should I be afraid of him, Severus?"

"No, but a healthy sense of caution would not be remiss." She felt his sneer before she saw it.

"Will he call me insufferable or a know-it-all?" She chuckled, but when she looked to him, his face was completely serious.

"He is not to be trifled with."

"I wasn't planning on "trifling" with him, you know. I am there to learn and research, I don't anticipate finding a friend in Stieg Davenport." He finally joined her on her bed but remained in his own space, looking solemn.

"Why did you never tell me about him before?" His hand wove into her hair, causing her to moan gently against him.

"He was my second master and I worked with him in total secrecy, Dumbledore didn't know until I became a spy for him. Davenport was a Death Eater."

"He told me." Shocked, he glanced at her quickly and then pretended to pull lint from his shirt, detangling his hand from her hair instantly, pulling it slightly as he did.

"You need to be careful with him; he's brilliant and conniving, far more conniving than you can even fathom." Hermione rose to change and found herself conflicted. She wanted to understand why Severus was being so contrite, but knew if he was in one of his moods, talking about it wouldn't help. Brushing her teeth and then hair, she found the room empty when she returned, so she put on her dressing gown and went downstairs. Immediately, Hermione knew she should've stayed in her room, but she didn't want him to be alone and upset. Finding him on the patio smoking, Hermione shivered with the night breeze and watched him. He looked ever the broken man she remembered from school, gaunt and thin, sad and angry. It took all of her strength to not to touch him, to not wrap her arms around his waist and hold him tightly against her.

"You are a glutton for punishment, has anyone ever told you that, Granger?" She snapped her eyes to his, wondering why he was suddenly calling her Granger again.

"No, I don't think they have, but I've been told worse." Hermione had only seen him smoke twice before, but wondered how often he did. He never smelled of it when he came to their quarters.

" Stieg will say worse, no doubt. He is an old, cruel man."

"Are you trying to talk me out of going?" Pleading with him, Hermione turned away for a moment and then realized he was nervous and jittery, almost as though he'd had too much coffee or smoked too quickly. Her hand reached for his, but she could see it was shaking.

"No, I am simply trying to prepare you for the hell you may encounter while you are away."

"I appreciate the sentiment." She turned on her heel, no anger or malice in her voice, and went back into the house, climbing the stairs until she found her room and finally went to sleep. She didn't hear him return or feel him move into the bed next to her, gently stroking her hair and burying his face in it.


	14. Chapter 14

**AN: two updates in one week, it's like summer again! Thank you all for reading and those of you who have reviewed. If you didn't read Chapter 13, please read that first or this one will seem a huge jump from Chap. 12. Thanks again and please let me know what you think!**

 **Chapter 14**

They arrived in Romania after lunch the following after a tearful, for Hermione, goodbye with the Potters. Hermione was surprised Severus had accompanied her at all after the events of the previous evening, but he had, shrinking his luggage into a briefcase and hers into her trusty potions box.

"Severus! Hermione! Welcome, this is Patrick, my grandson. Patrick, carry these up to the east room." Patrick shook both of their hands and took their luggage up the stairs to the room where they'd be staying while in Romania. Hermione immediately loved Stieg's home; it reminded her of the stone homes of the countryside, covered in plants and almost alive on it's own.

"I hope the port was pleasant?" He asked, leading them to the sitting room.

"It was tolerable." Severus replied, fidgeting awkwardly with his frock coat.

"Thank you for having us, though Severus will be leaving tomorrow afternoon."

"That's too bad, you'll be back though?" Pushing his hair behind his ears, Severus nodded in affirmation.

"Good, Patrick is curious about you; his father left him some interesting artifacts from your tenure here, old journals and books."

"I'm sure Sean Patrick did, knowing him."

"My son was the same age as Severus, Hermione, though they were never quite friends. Sean Patrick was far less interested in the dark arts, my dear wife had a hand in that thank goodness." Hermione looked to the wall, pictures of Stieg's wife and son were hanging near their icons. Sean Patrick looked like he could've been related to Harry with disheveled hair and glasses, and his wife was positively gorgeous, a true beauty. Seeing images of Sean Patrick also made her imagine Severus in his late teens and early twenties, working as a potions apprentice in Romania and most likely committing terrible atrocities in the name of Lord Voldemort. When Patrick returned to the room, it made Hermione imagine Severus with a son so old, but Stieg's voice broke her train of thought.

"My Daniella died last year."

"I'm so sorry, she was beautiful." Hermione couldn't help but stare, the woman was like no one else she'd ever seen. Her heart ached for him, he'd lost his wife and son in less than two years.

"I have tea ready, join me." They walked through the long hallway and then into his formal dining room where Patrick was already sitting and waiting. An elf appeared and brought them each a cup and small plate for tea cakes. Hermione was having a hard time reconciling the man Severus continued to describe and the one who was currently sipping his tea with his pinky raised and giving them mini sandwiches and scones.

"We will go into my archives tomorrow, I'm sure you'd like some rest and to get acclimated. There are three shops up the road and a couple restaurants, if you find you need space while you're reading. I often walk to a pond, I'll show you where when you're up to it; it's a great spot for thinking. Aside from that, we are at your disposal, my home is completely open to you."

"Thank you, I cannot wait to get started. I've brought all my research thus far, would you like to see my updates since the conference?"

"You've already made updates?"

"Yes, I added about thirty pages, well of new information and I've corrected about one hundred." Stieg's eyebrows raised sharply.

"If only you hadn't been born twenty years earlier, Professor…" "Please call me Hermione." She smiled at him, feeling as comfortable with him as she always had with Dumbledore.

"And you must call me Stieg...as I was saying, you would've made an excellent apprentice, no doubt you would've surpassed my skills in no time. How do you keep up with her, Severus?" Hermione felt his leg tense next to hers.

"As well as any mortal would." He sniped.

"Bury the hatchet, Severus, please. I am an old man and I do not wish you continuously spar with you when you come to visit this lovely young woman, because goodness knows you aren't coming to visit me." She heard Severus breathe deeply and felt his eyes on her.

"We'll see, Stieg." He bit back.

"Good, good. Now, Hermione, tomorrow I will take you to the archives just down the road, but I have some things here. Once you have been given access, you'll have free reign." Patrick hadn't said a word, though he looked intrigued by the two professors. Hermione tried to gauge his age, but couldn't decide if he was younger or older than she.

"Get settled in and I'll have dinner ready around 6."

"Thank you, Stieg." She stuck her hand out again, which he shook with both of his, and then they went upstairs. She instantly loved the room; it smelled of fresh birch and was luxuriously decorated with honey-colored accents. Before trying out the bed, she took of her shoes and dress, folding it over her bag, feeling Severus's arm encircle her waist.

"You were nicer than I thought you'd be."

"I don't want to upset you." Hermione mentioned nothing else about Stieg, instead she pulled Severus to the bed and lay against him, snuggled up tightly at his side, his hand in her hair. They rested until they heard a bell downstairs from the house elf. Dinner passed pleasantly but Hermione was ready for a walk. When Severus looked like he was too tired to join her, she asked Patrick if he would walk her to the archives and perhaps to a store or two, catching an odd look from Severus as they went out the front door.

"Your grandfather seems very kind." She said after they'd passed a large field.

"He is, just eccentric." Patrick laughed, running his hand awkwardly through his disheveled hair, reminding her of Harry when they'd been in school.

"So what do you do for a living?"

"I teach in a primary school for magical children, it feeds into Durmstrang, history and potions, when they cannot find a suitable candidate." Hermione's eyes lit up, he was a teacher as well.

"How interesting. I was trying to gauge how old you were, you look rather young."

"Oh, I'm twenty-four, and the students say that all the time. My grandfather is convinced my grandmother was something special, like a veela but more exotic because we look young for so long, but I think it's just that I have always been late at everything."

"Me too, I mean I am not twenty-four, I'm almost twenty-seven! I was a late bloomer, it took me years to look like a girl." They both laughed and Hermione thought for a moment that Patrick did look like he was part veela or something exotic, as he said. They made it to the archive in no time, placating Hermione and helping her see that it would take no time to get their regularly. As the sun set completely, they made their way back to Stieg's house. When they walked through the door, Hermione saw lights on in the kitchen and then up the stairs, hushed voices echoed through the stone home, but she couldn't figure out where they were coming from. She said goodnight to Patrick and then climbed the stairs to her guestroom, finally recognizing the sound was coming from the other side of the door. When she turned the knob, she found a sight she couldn't have anticipated if she'd been given a thousand guesses.

"Severus?" She saw him, completely wrapped in the embrace of a woman, her arms around his neck pulling it down to her mouth, they'd obviously just kissed and were kissing again, his shirt was unbuttoned and hanging weirdly between their arms, and then she noticed his pants were unbuckled as well. His arms were wrapped as tightly as hers, and that made Hermione's breath hitch. The woman's face was red and shocked as well, the heat of arousal settled mostly in her cheeks, her lovely face made only brighter in the shock of being caught. Hermione tried not to see how pretty the woman before her was, long brown hair, dazzling blue eyes, curvy in all the rights places. Without saying a word, Hermione walked into the room and passed them to retrieve her writing materials and then went down the stairs. She just didn't have the patience or energy to discuss what she'd seen. Finding a quiet spot to write in Stieg's office, Hermione charmed the door to lock and warded it shut, trying to think of all the possible reasons Severus would have been kissing the woman a floor above her, but she didn't dwell on it, instead she wrote about her initial experiences in Romania and the size of the archives, which seemed far more extensive than she had first anticipated. Hours later, when she was calm enough to go back up the stairs, Hermione found the woman sitting in the den.

"I'm so sorry, I'm Anastasia, Patrick's mother...I had no idea Severus was attached...I would never…"Hermione stuck out her hand, shook hers, and then went up the stairs. Even if it had been a misunderstanding, Hermione was still angry. The image of him completely entangled with her made her stomach flip, almost causing bile to rise in her mouth. She paused for a minute before opening the door, knocking lightly before going through. Severus was sitting in the desk chair, his thumb and index finger pinched at the bridge of his nose, not looking at her as she came through. Placing her materials on the dresser, she unzipped her dress and removed her shoes, and finally braided her hair tightly, before pulling the covers back and trying not to let herself cry in anger. It was a kiss, nothing more, he hadn't slept with another woman and he had probably not wanted to kiss her at all...but Hermione couldn't forget Anastasia's own words or rather the words she hadn't said; obviously, at some point, they'd been intimate before or Anastasia wouldn't have presumed to kiss him in the first place. His long sigh caught her attention.

"I don't want to fight, Severus." She finally said, looking over to him.

"I was getting ready for bed and she came in, I thought she was you." He finally came to the bed, his face pale but expressionless. He looked completely broken.

"It makes no difference now, it's done." Hermione didn't want him to say another word but kept her tone light but clear.

"Hermione, I would never do something like this intentionally, I had no idea she'd even be here."

"She is Patrick's mother, Severus, why wouldn't she be here?" Hermione folded her arms, still adamant that she didn't want to fight but felt her ire rising.

"Anastasia was barely married to Sean Patrick; I didn't even think Stieg allowed her near these premises most of the time. We never dated, I never gave her any attention when I was here before, I don't know why she launched herself at me." Their eyes met briefly, Hermione's determined not to cry and his remaining expressionless.

"You don't know why you were just as entangled as her?" Hermione lashed out, but then took a deep breath, forcing herself to calm down. "Like I said, it's done. I don't want to talk about it further." Hermione pushed herself down on the bed, stretching her legs out and turned away from him, almost crying but stopping herself. It had been a misunderstanding and it should've be bothering her as much as it did, but she couldn't help but feel inadequate and silly.

"Hermione, please…"

"It. Is. Done. Severus, I don't want to talk or think about it a moment longer." His hand came to rest on her shoulder, but she flinched as soon as he touched her; it had never occurred to her that when she returned to the house that she'd find Severus in the arms of another woman. But, he hadn't done anything scandalous, not really. They'd kissed; she'd kissed many men in her time. She couldn't punish him for something that happened spontaneously, but she hated that he had seemed to be enjoying it as much as Anastasia was.

"Goodnight, Severus." She whispered, pulling the covers over her shoulders and letting herself relax, trying to hold her tears back before falling asleep. She felt his weight shift and his breathing soften; she wanted to wrap her arms around him, to claim him as her own, but she didn't. Instead, Hermione slept at the edge of the bed all night and woke before him, showered and went down the stairs for coffee. Stieg was awake and looked as glum as she did.

"Anastasia has told me about last night. Please, do not hold this indiscretion against us, Hermione,I have sent her away for your duration."

"That was unnecessary, I promise." Hermione tried to smile, but she was sure it looked insincere.

"All the same, I am sure it will make it easier if she's not here, for you and for her." Hermione tried a smile again and still failed. Taking a muffin from the basket on the table, she ate her feelings as Patrick and Severus walked through, both looking as tired as she and Stieg. No one else brought up the situation from the previous night, but breakfast talk remained stilted. When it was time for Hermione and Stieg to tour the archives, Hermione knew she had to say goodbye to Severus. He was packed and ready in Stieg's garden, but she felt shy and awkward walking up to him. They hadn't talked that morning and now the idea of him leaving made her quite sad, but she knew he had to go.

"Be safe and owl when you get to Hogwarts." Her voice quivered, making her feel foolish again as she reached to touch his forearm.

"I know you are loathe to discuss what happened…"

"You're right, I am."

"Obstinate woman, you won't let me explain."

"Everything has been explained, what else is there to say? She surprised you and you were equally surprised to enjoy it. I don't want to discuss you enjoying the ministrations of another woman, Severus."

"I did not enjoy it."

"You weren't pushing her away, were you? See, this is helping nothing, in fact I feel worse just thinking about it again and I wanted you to leave on a note of understanding, if nothing else, but now…" She couldn't look him in the eye, was she being obstinate and stubborn? Was a kiss really that bad? "This is why I didn't want to talk about it, at all. I am not one for sweeping things under a rug, but what can conversation serve to improve here?"

"I don't know what else to say, Hermione."

"Then don't say anything. Owl me when you get to Hogwarts, I'll worry otherwise." Reaching for his hand, she held it tightly and then pulled him close, finally letting her tears fall, shaking against him lightly before pulling away and walking quickly back inside Stieg's house, unable to watch him leave. All of her emotions boiled over, making her cry harder than she thought possible, so she excused herself to the washroom and tried to stop. Part of her had wanted him to stay, to tell her how much he loved her, to admit that he'd never want another woman for the rest of his life. She felt naive and simple, a foolish girl.

When she felt presentable enough, Stieg offered his arm and they walked quietly to the archive; upon seeing the amount of material, Hermione knew she'd have enough to keep her busy and preoccupied. An hour into combing through Stieg's early research, Hermione received an owl with a simple note: _I have made it safely to Hogwarts, Yours, SS_ She put the note in her pocket and continued, she didn't want to think about him anymore that day, so she continued working, finding that Stieg had devoted the majority of his life to curing a disease that seemed impossible to cure. He was brilliant, no doubt, but even with their combined notes and research, she didn't know if it would be possible to cure lycanthropy and that made her far more distressed than Severus having been kissed by a beautiful woman.

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A week passed before Hermione felt like she'd had any real breakthrough; it was a Sunday when she came across a particularly obscure amount of research from China, the translations taking so long she almost gave up. Most days, she woke early, before the rest of the house, and made it to the archives with coffee and snacks before tackling as much of the reading as she could. Sometimes Stieg walked down for lunch, sometimes Patrick did, either way she went back to the house for dinner and writing. In the evenings she wrote about her findings and theorized how the information could help her finish her research. She didn't write to Severus and he didn't write to her; the moment in the garden when he'd left often flashed in her mind, but she couldn't focus on him; instead, Hermione became obsessed with her research and learning as much from Stieg Davenport as she could. He'd not even raised his voice to her the entire time she'd been there nor called her anything close to cruel. In fact, he was one of the kindest people she'd ever been around, likened to Albus Dumbledore minus the manipulation, though she did wonder if perhaps this was the manipulation, to have her believe he was kind and amiable. He felt more like a father figure than she ever imagined he would, and the feeling was both welcome and intriguing. In what seemed like no time, she felt akin to Stieg Davenport, as though she'd known him all her life.

"You know Severus had me believe you and I wouldn't get along." Hermione mused as they shared two half way through her second week in Romania.

"He would; as I said before, our time together was bleak and I was undoubtedly cruel and demonstrative towards him, when he needed someone to give him leadership and guidance, not the acerbic tongue of an angry man. I'm certain Severus would never venture here again if it were not for you; terrible things happened here when he was my apprentice." Intrigued, Hermione folded her hands and hoped he would continue, but could see he was troubled.

"I've learned with Severus that there is much he will not discuss, in our two years together we've never discussed his time before he became a spy for Albus Dumbledore. I think it shames him, though I am not entirely convinced he would've gone to Dumbledore without the prophecy targeting the Potters." Surprised by her candor, Stieg poured her a shot of vodka and tossed one of his own back.

"Lonely people will do much to end their confinement; even here, when it was clear he was going down a path he might never return from, he showed signs that he wasn't entirely happy with his choices. But, I must say, Hermione, that Severus is a different man now, the things we did, he did, when he was here, those aren't my stories to tell...all I will say is this; if Severus told you to be cautious of me, he did so with the knowledge that I was a terrible man when he knew me before and I did things for which I will never have absolution. I can only hope that by giving you this research and aiding you in any way possible, I can redeem myself, at least for Patrick." The anguish in his voice was so reminiscent of Severus, it made her heart ache immediately. It had always been easy for Hermione to find the good in people, to try and forget any transgressions she knew which might sway her feelings, and looking at him just then made her eye mist. She didn't care that she was a professional, that she was tenderhearted and gentle natured, he was obviously hurting.

"Did he tell you that I am muggleborn?" Hermione asked, fidgeting with her napkin.

"No and it doesn't matter to me, though I have to admit it does make me selfishly happy to know that a muggleborn witch will cure a disease pureblood wizards have not for centuries."

"Maybe they didn't really want to." His sharp brow reminded her of her love, the same look on his face so often. She didn't know why she'd said it exactly, but knew after reading his research that Stieg had been so very close to finding the answer and had stopped suddenly.

"Perhaps, you are right, the old prejudices die hard." He poured her another shot and they toasted to Severus, forcing Hermione to admit to herself how much she missed him, even if the room was silent, his presence gave her comfort she hadn't realized she needed. Later that evening she wrote to him and asked him to come visit; his reply was quick and by the morning he was there, at breakfast with Patrick and Stieg, sharing some syrniki and honey. It was as though years had passed when they finally made eye contact.

"Good morning, Hermione." Patrick said, pouring her coffee. She took the seat across from Severus and next to Stieg, who looked far happier that morning.

"It's late one today, the sun's already up." Stieg teased, passing the syrniki over to her.

"I couldn't sleep after I read about Constantinople, it gave me terrible dreams. I suppose when you researched there it was quite dangerous, I had no idea there were so many werewolves in Turkey." A shudder passed through everyone except Patrick, making the room feel suddenly cool.

"It was, in fact, more dangerous than anywhere I've ever lived. I would not go back there for all the gold in the world."

"I'll be going through the research in England today and if I get it finished early enough, I'd like to take us all to dinner, are you both free tonight?" Hermione cut her syrniki in half and drizzled the honey over it before plopping it in her mouth, the delectable treat making her wish the elves made them at Hogwarts.

"I have a date tonight, actually." Patrick responded, the entire table looking to the consummate shy man.

"Good for you…. Stieg?"

"I'm an old man and always free. Come back from the archives around seven and I'll make sure we have a table." Hermione took her plate to the kitchen and grabbed her thermos, filling it with coffee and took tea bags for later, finding Severus ready to walk with her to the archives. His muggle clothes made him look younger, as though somehow he was transported back to the time when he'd been in the village before. Grabbing her bag, she patted Stieg on the shoulder and walked out the door, Severus trailing her.

"I'm glad you came."

"I wasn't expecting an owl." His tone was pleasant enough, almost solemn towards the end. Walking next to him, she kept her face on the mixed cobblestone and dirt path, trying not trip.

"I missed you and I didn't like the way we left things." Several more steps, their shoes hitting the ground in a steady cadence marking the space between them.

"Nor I." He reached for her thermos so he could take her arm and found she was perfectly agreeable. She wanted to bury the image of him with Anastasia deep in her mind.

"Would you have left things until I returned to Hogwarts?" Her question surprised even her, but she knew it had been weighing on her.

"No, I planned to come next week if I hadn't heard from you; you may feel at ease here, but my own experience makes me...protective of you." His hand grasped hers for a moment, as they rounded the corner to the door of the archives.

" Stieg is keeping something from me and I cannot figure it out. I've poured over this research, decades of papers, letters, maps, and books...he's found an answer and hidden it carefully here."

"I warned you he was cunning."

"He has been nothing but kind, but I think he's ashamed of whatever it is that he isn't telling me, he has been remorseful and open with me about everything else, so it leads me to believe that I cannot fathom what it is he isn't telling me." He took her bag as she used her wand to enter the archives, warding it shut behind them.

"He told you about his life as a Death Eater?"

"Not in so many words and certainly not everything he did, but he was been forthcoming. He would not talk about you and I didn't pry, he truly wants to make amends." Immediately opening two boxes labeled 'England', Hermione opened her thermos and poured another cup of coffee.

"He won't tell you the worst of it because he doesn't want you to leave, and I am trying, though he knows the magnitude of what he's asking me." Hermione finally connected with him again, meeting his eyes for a long while, wishing they were in Scotland and lounging on their sofa. Changing the subject, she offered him coffee.

"How is Minka?"

"A disaster, she misses you and was awfully miffed when I came home without you." Taking a few steps, she curled around him, finally embracing him for the first time since she'd discovered him in the dining room. It took only seconds before she instantly felt better, his arms tightened desperately wrapped around her.

"If you would like to help, I've been putting these in numerical order." Stepping up, she brushed his lips with hers and then released him, going back to her work. He immediately went to work helping, reading bits and pieces as he went, trying to help her figure out the missing piece of the puzzle, surprised by her affections but thankful for them.

"Batty old man!" Severus said randomly hours later when he came across from research so impossibly scribbled he couldn't even see the date.

"October, 1981." She said, looking over to him. "I can read his scribble now." Immediately, Hermione laughed, but found him looking despondent and remembered that was the month and year Lily and James were murdered. Leaving him to his feelings, she didn't realize they'd worked through lunch until Patrick dropped by with sandwiches and cookies from Stieg. Hours later, when they'd exhausted the England files, Hermione and Severus walked back to the house and met Stieg at the end of the walk. He looked ragged and tired, as tired as she felt. It took him a while to walk to the restaurant and Hermione knew she would apparate him back when they were finished.

"Will you be staying longer this time, Severus?" Stieg asked as the vodka was brought to the table.

"Unless I get urgent news from Hogwarts or you remind why I should never have come back." Hermione was surprised by the vile tone of Severus' words, but found that it washed over Stieg Davenport instantly.

"Good, good. They'll be none of that, I hope. Hermione, did you find anything in the England files?" It took her a minute to register that he was talking to her, her mind tired and barely processing thought.

"Not really, but we have another box or two before I can say anything definitively. Although, I am working towards a new theory, I just don't know enough about it yet...an inkling in my brain, a curiosity." They both looked to her, so unlike their nature and full of wonderment.

"You are truly a wonder, Hermione, your professors must've loved having you in their classroom." Stieg's compliment made her blush.

"Not always." Stieg caught the side eye she'd given Severus.

"Severus? Really?"

"She was an adequate student, but too eager; I had a role to play…"

"He motivated me, even if it hurt at the time, I'm the better for it now. My skin is certainly thicker." Hermione folded her menu, deciding on the mushroom and beef stew as Stieg and Severus exchanged another look.

"Masters have a way of doing that to their students, unfortunately. At least it worked in your favor, my dear." Stieg tipped his glass at them and then swallowed his vodka as though it were water and she followed him in kind, eating a soft pretzel directly afterwards, the salt cutting the bitter taste of the vodka.

"It does seem odd to be doing this mastery program without an official master; I wonder how differently my talents and outlook would be had I done this directly after school." Severus and Stieg made eye contact for a moment, both looking rather surly.

"You don't need a master at your skill level, though I am sure having Severus in the building makes things easier if you are stuck. My master was a horrid old codger from the Crimean region who practically boiled my fingers once a week to improve my tolerance for heat. Even I didn't go so far as that, Severus." Hermione immediately blanched, looking over to Stieg's hands, noticing for the first time that he didn't have fingerprints.

"How terrible!"

"Don't fret, Hermione, he met a tragic end on his own. As you said, it made my skin thicker, though it also made me an impossible arsehole for twenty years." Hermione raised her shot glass to him and they toasted, finished their meal in polite conversation, Severus quiet as usual and returned to his home taking a break at the picnic table behind his home in the garden. Patrick returned from his date about an hour into their drinking and talking about failed experiments, travels, and students. From the kitchen, he brought them cheese and crackers and delectable figs she'd never tasted before.

"So how was your date?" Hermione asked, inebriated but blissful.

"It was fine."

"Fine? That doesn't sound good." Pouring him a shot, Hermione slide it over to him and watched as he didn't hesitate but threw it back.

"Don't let him fool you with his vocabulary, fine means exquisite to him." Stieg joked, breaking his pretzels in two and stuffing one in his mouth, reminding her for a second of Ron and Harry.

"Well, good, life's too short to have dates that are simply 'fine'. So, what is she like?" Severus watched them all, so easy in conversation and jovial. He wondered how Hermione found it so effortless to ingratiate herself with her host.

"Her name is Diana, she's a liaison for the bank in Bucharest; she works with my colleague's wife...she's beautiful." Blushing, Patrick drank another shot and then some lemonade, knowing how much his grandfather would pry if he allowed himself to get drunk.

"Wonderful! My good friend Charlie works in Bucharest, I was planning to see him while I'm here but he's been pretty busy and my time seems so consumed. So, did you invite her out again?" Hermione's words sloshed a bit as sipped her own glass of lemonade realizing how fuzzy her brain was becoming.

"No, should I have?"

"Of course, I mean, as a girl I would much rather know that a fellow wants to see me again." Severus folded his arms, continuing to watch their exchange, thinking back to the beginning of their relationship, all he'd wanted to say and do but held himself back Of course, she'd wanted something more concrete from him and he hadn't given it, he still didn't give it often enough.

"Owl her! It'll be so sweet and I'm sure she'll go out with you again." Hermione jumped up and went into the house, grabbing some parchment, a quill, and ink, forcing them into Patrick's hand. His quick message was sent, Stieg's snowy owl flying off so quickly Hermione almost missed him against the night sky.

"Who knew you were such a romantic, Hermione." Stieg laughed, pouring them all another shot and snapping for his elf to bring more lemonade.

"Romantic is an understatement, Stieg." They all turned to Severus in his apparent joke; he'd been so quiet, Stieg had almost forgotten he was even there.

"I'm no lovesick girl, but I do find myself optimistic more often than not...I guess that's why I cannot stop researching or trying to find this cure. Remus could've had a better life; no one should have to live with that pain and seclusion."

"A pure heart, it's no wonder you've tipped your hat at this one." Stieg pointed to Severus who was sneering at him, the alcohol shifting his mood again from something relatively pleasant to his normal surly mood.

"Severus has redeemable qualities, which I'm sure you noticed or you wouldn't have taken him on."

"Unfortunately, it was his other assets I noticed first, but you are correct, he eventually surprised me, as obstinate and dundering as he was." Hermione stifled a laugh, no wonder Severus had always talked about his students so cruelly; all that vocabulary had come from his potions master, Stieg Davenport. Without thinking she leaned over to Severus and pulled him over to her, finding his lips beneath hers but only briefly.

"Poor Severus…" She licked her lips as they parted, the lemon on his tasting quite nicely with the salt and vodka on hers. Stieg couldn't imagine a happier look on his former apprentice's face than the one that flashed momentarily after their kiss.

"I think I'm done for, gentlemen, so I will bid you goodnight." Rubbing her eyes, Hermione thanked Stieg for the snacks and vodka, then went into the house, climbing the stairs slowly, one at a time. When she finally made it to the washroom, she splashed her face and braided her hair, knowing it would be impossible to tame after sitting in the humidity for hours. Upon leaving the washroom, she collided with Patrick who was wearing only flannel pajama pants and looking far more inebriated than she.

"Sorry!" She shouted, helping him stand, noticing a rather large scar on his chest and another on his shoulder, covering his entire shoulder blade onto his back. Immediately, she recognized the marks- he'd been bitten by a werewolf. "Patrick, when did this happen?" He tensed up as she touched his scars, noting that they weren't new.

"Two years ago." He replied sheepishly, but with a look of determination in his eyes.

"Do you change? How is this possible?"

"I don't, I never have. My dad got loose during the experiment, he bit me and my grandfather…"

"Killed him." Patrick tensed and Hermione could tell she was right in her assumption, at least she was convinced she was. She finished, making a mental memory of the scars. Instantly, as though she finally understood what Stieg had been hiding, Hermione ran into her room, Severus sitting on the edge of the bed in mild shock at her sudden appearance. Hurriedly, she went through her notes about Stieg's research and found the information about the experiment- each ingredient, each step...something was missing. Running back into the hallway, she saw Patrick and Stieg outside the washroom.

"Why didn't you tell me? This is the answer, or could be...if something during that experiment neutralized Sean Patrick's active lycanthropic disease, we can at least use it to make people immune and with Patrick's…" Her brain kept turning...they all watched as she used her wand to make figures in the air, recalling data over and over. Severus had come to the door, finally seeing Patrick and his scars.

"I wanted to tell you, but the embarrassment of putting my own grandchild in harm's way and knowing that my experiment failed so abysmally, forgive an old man his pride."

"Pride! This is ignorance and cowardice...if you'd presented this to me on the first day, I could've started sequencing it...can you recreate the experiment? Wait...you're still not telling me something; Stieg, what is it?" Patrick's hand went to Stieg's arm, steadying him.

"I was bitten as well, but I am a werewolf, it's the main reason I chose the dates for your time here...I didn't want you to know if I could avoid it."

"Bravo, as usual, Stieg, no surprise that you've brought her all the way from Britain to cure you." Severus barked, angry and also trying to hide his own remorse that his mentor was suffering.

"I didn't intend for her to ever know, Severus, so how could this possibly be a selfish endeavor for me?"

"Then it wasn't the potion you gave him, that saved Patrick…"Hermione's tiny voice broke the tension, she was still writing in the air with her wand, stopping only momentarily to try and push Severus back into the bedroom.

"Patrick, can I take a sample of your blood?" He nodded as Severus went to her travel case and found an empty vial. Casting several spells to clean and sanitize his arms, Hermione immediately extracted the blood and sealed the wound, taking the blood to her desk and finding instruments in her travel case to look at it more carefully.

"Go to bed, we'll deal with everything else in the morning." She called out to Patrick and Stieg, who both looked flummoxed and not at all tired. They reluctantly went to their rooms leaving Severus as the door, seething.

"I told you he was conniving; I told you he was not to be trusted."

"You aren't helping matters, Severus." She barked in a voice so eerily like his own, he was shocked into silence. "If you want to be useful, look through my notes on the research from Egypt." Using her wand, she sent the journals over to him as he slumped against the back of the sofa, his fingers moving through the information quickly, not entirely sure what she was looking for.

"Look for information regarding blood transfusions." She finally said, cutting her eye to him and seeing him finally calmed down, almost subdued completely. Hours passed before either of them shared information, but Hermione knew exactly what needed to be done. Her trip in Romania would be cut short because she knew, now, that she could produce a cure if she could get to her lab.

"You've had me look through all of this and I found nothing on blood transfusions." His hand came to her shoulder, laying the journals next to her.

"Sorry, it's there just not worded so specifically...I need to go to Hogwarts, I cannot produce what I need to here. Will you wake Stieg, please." He scowled, the last thing he wanted to do was wake Stieg, but he did.

"I need to be in my labs, sorry to cut this short, but I cannot do everything I need here. I will be back as soon as I can." He reached for her hands and she noted the sadness in his eyes.

"I can only apologize for my selfishness and fear, Hermione…" She stopped him and pulled him close.

"No one deserves to live with this disease and I understand your motives, please think no more of it...I'll be back and we'll fix you." Kissing both his cheeks, she went back into the room and packed everything up, everything fitting nicely into her travel case. Severus simply watched her work, moving effortlessly between tasks as though motivated by some invisible force, and found himself enamored with her, far more than he had been willing to admit when everything had first started with them. He let himself think about to their first flirtations, years before, when he didn't even know how much she would weave herself into his life. His curiosity reached its breaking point, so he turned to her and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Care to tell me what it is you've discovered?"

"Not until I know for sure...I don't want to sound foolish or naive." They stood together in the garden as Hermione transfigured a flower pot into a portkey and they grabbed it together at the same time. When they landed outside the gate of Hogwarts, she started immediately to the gates, driven by her desire to start the real research and potions she needed. The alcohol she'd consumed the night before made her mind fuzzy, but she knew if she could take her concentration potion, she'd be fine. Tripping twice on the way, she stopped momentarily and sighed.

"Maybe you should sleep first." He admonished, but Hermione did not have the wherewithal to spar with him, so she kept going. Once they reached the lab, she immediately took her potion and let it take effect before unpacking and pulling her journals out. Grabbing the vials of blood she'd taken from Greyback's victims, she put them all in her enchanted centrifuge, watching them spin and then combined some of Patrick's blood with the Wolfsbane she had been working on for several years, adding some of test patient A's blood to a new vial and then the treated Wolfsbane, seeing little result at first, but slowly, the blood from TPA was gone, completely dissolved into the connection. Without considering her exhaustion, as her magical potion had taken over, she began brewing a new Wolfsbane except this time using a small amount of Patrick's blood as a binder, stronger she believed than any other. She knew it would take more than twenty four hours, so she also began brewing another concentration potion and snapped her fingers for Winky, hoping she wasn't asleep. She ordered food and tea, wondering how she'd possibly make it through the time having already been awake for over twenty-four hours.

"I wish you could help me." Suddenly, she turned to Severus was who sitting at the table, making her a cup of tea that Winky had just brought in.

"You wouldn't be able to use this as your final project if I helped, though I would if I could." She came to his side and sat momentarily on his lap, her arms around his neck, and simply held him. A wave of alertness and euphoria swept through her again, so she took her hands and turned his face to hers and found his mouth, running her fingers through his hair. They had kissed since his return to Romania, but real intimacy had been lost since the night she found Anastasia kissing him; in that moment, she wanted to show him just how much she missed him.

"Ward the door." She demanded, coming to straddle him, undoing the buttons of his frock coat and then unbuckling his pants, refusing to slow down or take her time. It wasn't meant to be intimate, to prove how much she loved him, only that she wanted him, needed him- so she took him. In her frantic desire, she barely registered her tears, instead she simply moved above him, making herself feel better, feel something aside from the pressure to work. Her alarm caught both of them off guard. Silencing it with her finger, using wandless magic for the first time in ages, she returned to Severus, kissing him so fiercely she felt her lip tear under her own tooth. She felt him go rigid, his body so tight she thought he was petrified, and then still, his hands holding her so tightly against him she could barely breathe.

"I...I'm sorry." He whispered against her neck, finally meeting her eyes and wiping blood from her lip. Licking her lip and removing the remaining blood, Hermione contemplated his apology, wondering if he was apologizing for her lip, which was completely her fault, or for Anastasia. Legs tense, Hermione stood and stretched out a bit, smoothing her dress and putting her knickers back in place, knowing at some point she'd have to visit the loo and take care of the mess. Without a word, she walked over to the potion and stirred twenty times before adding Patrick's blood, and stirring a further twenty times before setting her alarm for the next step.

"Thank you for my tea." She kissed his cheek and sat next to him, enjoying the sight of him completely disheveled and euphoric. Extending her hand to him, she found his warmed and soft against hers.

"Let's move to the sofa." The bass of his voice made her tingle as she helped button him back up, his shirt still slightly askew as she rested against him. She didn't want to move from her spot, not to read or write, not to stir or pour; her potion was having difficulty working against her extreme exhaustion. Remaining for twenty or so more minutes, Hermione finally heard him fall asleep, so she removed herself and found her notes, writing about her initial ideas about the experiment Stieg had done and the modifications he'd made, plus the ones she was making. She knew she would need a test case, someone who physically came to the lab to receive treatment once she synthesized the possible cure. When she finally hit her next stride, she took a quick walk to their quarters and fed Minka before finding "Far from the Madding Crowd" and three other books, and returning to the lab. Without being able to stop, she read and walked around the room, practically pacing, reading, and checking the potion. She knew if she stopped, she'd fall asleep, so she kept moving.

"Hermione, how long was I asleep?" Severus croaked, noting that she'd used a cushioning charm to keep his neck from becoming stiff.

"Nine hours, I had to make sure you were still alive a few times." He looked over to the table where she was lazily eating a bowl of soup and a sandwich, her stack of books piling up quite high.

"Let me call Pomona or Filius, you need to rest." But the death stare he received told him not to mention it again, so he rose and kissed her cheek. "I'm going to wash, I feel rotten."

"You smell rotten." Her laugh filled the lab, making it impossible for him to keep a sour look on his face.

When he returned an hour later, he found her looking at blood under a magical telescope.

"Can you tell me now what you've discovered?" She hadn't realized that he'd come back in, so she jumped when she heard his voice, breaking the sounds of bubbling and steaming.

"Patrick's blood is unique, he carries many natural immunities, to Dragon pox, to spattergroit, and to the lycanthropic disease, just the few I've discovered so far...if I can recreate the properties of his immunity, to synthesize it and perhaps make more, I can cure it…" She paused, her quill teasing her mouth. Severus was shocked by her admission, unable to process the implications that she might be able to cure more than one disease with the blood of a random wizard.

"Did you meet Daniella Davenport?" Hermione asked out of the blue.

"She was present throughout my entire experience, so yes." He moved to her left, where her hand was moving so quickly he could barely make out what she was writing.

"I don't think she was a typical witch...her genetics were dampened by Stieg's, but Anastasia must've come from the same village or they must be from the same line, hers made Patrick able to fight this disease. We need to test Anastasia as well and everyone from their village...if there are more people, it will make the synthesis easier, I don't want to have to bleed Patrick every month until I have it right."

"I will write to Stieg." Severus disappeared, leaving Hermione to work in quiet, but she was returning to mania, her mind so overworked she was seeing things in the lab that weren't there, like Remus Lupin lounging on the couch; she knew her brain was making her see his image, but it was oddly comforting as she worked. With only six more hours to brew, Hermione finally stopped long enough to shower and change, feeling disgusting and so incredibly tired. When she returned to the lab, she found Severus on the sofa and the asphodel stewing.

"Severus?"

"I asked Pomona to start the asphodel, I didn't touch anything." Hermione kissed him softly and curled next to him, wishing she could sleep so desperately. Wrapping her arms around his waist, Hermione tried not to read his correspondence in front of her, but as it was from Stieg, she didn't feel too badly about it. Closing her eyes for a moment, she didn't realize any time had passed until her alarm went off.

"I will sleep for days when this is over."

"I am inclined to join you."

"Is Stieg coming?" She asked, stirring the potion and adding the remaining ingredients and turning down the heat, taking a cushion and putting it on Severus' lap and lying across the sofa, facing him. He read to her from an article about lemongrass and each time she almost fell asleep, he tickled her side or leaned down to kiss her, making her eyes open with a sweet smile. When her final alarm went off, she stood with wobbly legs and walked over in full zombie mode, turning off the burning and transferring all of the liquid into vials, stoppering each and putting them on the counter, sending the materials to the sink and casting a few spells, knowing she could clean everything when she was more coherent. Before leaving, she took Patrick's blood and put it in the warded storage closet and then found Severus' hand, bringing him with her to their quarters warding the lab again before leaving. Although she was starving, she took another shower and crawled into their bed, finding Severus staring at her as she situated herself next to him.

"When this works, you'll set the wizarding world on fire, Hermione." He whispered against her cheek as he spooned her, pulling her as tightly as he could.

"We will; you couldn't help with brewing but you've helped with everything else and I want you to get the credit your deserve."

"Hermione, I had nothing to do with your breakthrough." He argued, though his voice was calm and even soothing.

"But you did, without you I might never have met Stieg or Patrick, I wouldn't have even attempted my mastery if it weren't for you and now, I couldn't have done this without you. I plan on making you and Stieg both contributors when I publish, so there's nothing you can do about it, Severus." Fingers in her hair, he twirled her ringlets and pecked her cheek, breathing her in as he did. When she finally fell asleep, he watched for as long as he could trying to imagine what his life had been like before she was his, and found that his happiness had never been matched at any other point in his life, nor did he think he would ever top the feeling.


	15. Chapter 15

**AN: This chapter moves the plot along greatly- be warned there are some pretty nasty themes as HG tries to cure Stieg, but SS's opinion of the man had be to proven at some point. I've been writing like a madwoman and this fic is finally finished in it's rough form, so updates will remain about twice a week unless life gets in the way of editing. There are 25 chapters for reading and please let me know what you think!**

 **Chapter 15**

Harry and Ginny's combined birthday party was the perfect sojourn from her boundless energy and kinetic force, priming her for work endlessly. Severus had become genuinely concerned that she was going to put herself in a mad state if she continued working and researching at the rate she was going, so he insisted she take a few days off before continuing on her work, asking Stieg and his family to wait until August to come to Hogwarts for the trials. Even though she'd taken a short break from her brewing, Hermione continued to work in her journals, detailing the properties of Patrick's blood and the reactions of test patient A's blood to it, drawing graphs and showing the progression. It made her frantic to keep working, but she even she had to admit her mind was frazzled, and that she missed her boys.

When they arrived at 12 Grimmauld Place for Harry and Ginny's birthday dinner, Hermione was immediately wrapped in a hug by Teddy and James, who had already gotten into the cupcakes and were covered in chocolate icing. Although he'd tried to toddle over to them as quickly, Albus became frustrated when Hermione didn't immediately come to him, so he sat and pouted on the floor, his arms folded.

"Don't be cross because your brothers have longer legs, Alby." She uncurled his arms and lifted him into her arms, covering him in kisses and laughing with him as he finally smiled at her, his green eyes sparkling with joy. "See, Aunt Hermione loves you just as much, sweet boy." Severus put his arm around Hermione for a moment and pretended to shake Albus' hand, finding the boy reaching for him.

"Happy birthday, Harry and Ginny!" Hermione shouted from the den into the kitchen where she could hear he and Ginny talking, plates jiggling and cups moving. Grabbing James' hand, she walked into the kitchen and found Harry dipping Ginny into a low kiss near the refrigerator, causing a squeak from both of them.

"Happy birthday, indeed." Severus quipped, he and Albus making quite a pair as their brows raised, looking to Ginny and Harry and then to each other.

"Where is everyone?" Hermione asked, grabbing a set of plates to take outside to the garden, her questioned answered as soon as she opened the door to find the Weasleys and Longbottoms already organizing the tables for eating and the kids flying in a mock quidditch formation. She watched as Teddy hopped on his broom and took off, James followed on his still mere feet off the ground. Immediately her eyes were drawn to Neville and Hannah who were holding their newborn daughter, Alice.

"Hannah, I'm so sorry I wasn't able to visit before, how are you?" In a few short strides, Hermione was looking down at the sweet little girl who had brilliantly blonde hair and a sweet rosebud mouth, perked into a smile as Hannah handed her over to Hermione.

"You're so busy, we understand, besides she was a bit fussy for the first two months, now it's easier to take her places." Hermione cradled Alice, holding her securely against her, taking a seat at the picnic table.

"I'm surprised Neville's even letting me hold her, I heard from Pomona how protective he's been." She looked to her friend who was blushing at her words, but found moments later the same look of happiness and unmistakable love for his child that she'd seen on Harry's face when James and Albus were born.

"That he is, but we love him for it." Looking across the garden, Hermione saw Severus who was still entertaining Albus and looking as comfortable as he could be. It made her laugh to see him holding their godson, not as unsure as he'd been when he first held James and certainly not as uncomfortable as she thought he would be when Harry and Ginny had first asked them to be godparents to the tiny babe. Handing Alice back to Hannah, Hermione took in one more look of the girl and went to kitchen to help Ginny bring the rest of the dinner out.

"He's taken a week off; I cannot wait to have a real vacation." Ginny poured the rest of the pumpkin juice into a pitched and levitated the three pitchers out the door to the table.

"Where are you going?"

"I think Italy, he won't tell me for sure, but he's dropped hints." Hermione smiled, Italy would be lovely.

"I'm glad he's taken time off, finally, Shacklebolt runs him ragged. Speaking of which, where's Ron?"

"He's on assignment, trade-off for Harry, unfortunately." Hermione scoffed, she hadn't particularly wanted to see him but she knew he'd hate missing their birthdays and seeing all his family.

"Is he still with that girl?"

"Virginia? No, he's dating someone else now, a girl he met in Suffolk, Gretchen I think. I don't care as long as he's not single, again. None of us can handle single Ron." They both giggled and brought the remaining food to the garden, everyone sitting and ready to celebrate Harry. Hermione was swept up in nostalgia as they sat, she thought about all the birthdays she'd spent with Harry, the wonderful and dismal, and was incredibly thankful they'd survived the war to continue celebrating birthdays.

"I'm sorry we missed you in Romania, Charlie, we had a breakthrough and I had to get back to Hogwarts. How is Bucharest?" Charlie pulled his hair back into a ponytail and wiped his mouth free of beans.

"Fantastic this time of year, we are so busy I cannot even consider the mosquitos." Molly brought around extra napkins for everyone and settled in next to James and Albus, who looked completely covered in barbeque sauce.

"I'm glad we missed those, then. Although I will be heading back at some point, hopefully before term. Do you know much about the Deva region? I'm going to be doing research there, I think." She watched his face pale for a moment. "That bad?"

"Just an interesting place, make sure you have an interpreter and be leary of the nightwalkers."

"Nightwalkers?" She questioned, but then realized he was joking, laughing hysterically at the seriousness of her facial expression. She wanted to hex him, but found Teddy watching them and didn't want to set a bad precedent, so she merely laughed with him and returned to her food, trying to not think about her work.

Harry blew out the candles on his cake and they all enjoyed his favorite, triple chocolate, as the sun started to set. The kids continued to play on their brooms, leaving the adults to talk and catch up, commiserating that the summer was almost over for Hogwarts employees. Snuggled tightly against her, Albus looked up every now and then at them, but eventually found sleep.

"Are you taking the boys when you go to wherever you're going?" Hermione asked Harry as he watched Teddy dive momentarily to throw the quaffle.

"No, I want it to be a real holiday for Ginny, Molly is watching them while we're gone, except Albus, we wanted to see if you and Severus might like to keep him a few days." Hermione breathed deeply, it would certainly be the break she needed to take from her research while waiting for the full moon to draw near again, but she wondered if Severus would be keen on the idea. In conversation with Arthur across the garden, Hermione studied him, the deep emerald of his shirt making him almost blend into the topiary.

"I don't see why not, it would be a nice diversion, plus I haven't seen the boys in so long."

"It's just, he's the youngest and Molly will have Bill and Fleur's kids as well, they're obviously older and it leaves Albus out. I meant to owl you last week to ask, sorry."

"It's fine, it'll be fine." Harry leaned over slightly and hugged her with one arm. She wondered if Ginny had thought of the idea, knowing how much she loved the boys and wanted them around more. It was difficult to watch all three of them, but having one around wouldn't be so bad. When Severus finally came over to them, the air becoming cool, she opened her eyes which had been dozing.

"Harry is taking Ginny on holiday, do you mind if Alby comes to stay a few days?" Severus was unreadable, but she knew she needed his approval since they shared quarters and Albus being around would certainly be noticeable.

"It'll force you to think about something else." He finally said, putting his arm around her and looking down the sleeping boy curled against her chest.

"Molly is keeping Teddy and James, so if things go south, we can always take him to the Burrow." Leaning over to him, she placed a chaste kiss on his cheek and then rose slowly, trying not to wake Albus as she walked through the house to the nursery. She changed him and placed him in his crib, wondering what it would be like to have a baby in their quarters at Hogwarts. Knowing how busy Severus would be with renovations and general summer upkeep he'd put on the backburner to help her in Romania and since, she figured if Albus really bothered him, she could find many things for them to do. Before going to her room, she looked around the room and thought about the things they would need in their quarters before he would be comfortable. Before leaving she kissed his sweet cheek, then started to walk out as Harry brought James in, who looked as tired as Albus had been. She found Severus resting in his underclothes practically asleep when she entered the room, opening one eye to her as she came through.

"We'll take him with us in the morning." Falling into bed, Hermione's mind continued racing, thinking about her work and having Albus with them at the castle. Severus pulled her to him, one hand in her hair, fingers working through her curls and the other her breasts, resting as a rib jutted out. He didn't say anything, simply breathed deeply and relaxed as she curled into him further. If she hadn't been so tired, she would've positioned her bum to take advantage of her lover's ministrations, but instead she closed her eyes and finally fell into a deep sleep, only waking when Severus woke the next morning, removing his arms from her and his leg, which had been nudged between hers, leaving her almost cold in the bed. She rubbed her eyes but didn't quite want to get out of the bed, so she lay there until Severus was finished with his shower and shave, enjoying the gentle wafting of his aftershave misting in the air. When he finally emerged, Hermione threw off the covers and hopped in the shower, kissing him softly as he passed her on his way to the kitchen.

Taking the stairs quickly, Hermione heard all the clattering of breakfast and smelled the kippers browning before she even saw the spread. Teddy and James ran from the dining room, chasing a flying plane enchanted by someone eating.

"It smells lovely." Hermione remarked walking into the dining room, the long table looking rather sparsely populated after the previous evening with Ginny, Harry, Severus, Albus the only inhabitants.

"You missed the toast, unfortunately." Harry handed her a plate as she sat, piling eggs and tomatoes on her plate, moving her cup so Ginny could pour her some pomegranate juice.

"Aren't you so excited? You'll be having lunch in some foreign land. If only your old potions master had been from Italy, Severus."

"Indeed, Stieg might've been bearable in Venice." Smiling at his joke, so rare for morning, Hermione put her hand on his arm and then looked to Ginny and Harry, who looked as happily married as though it was their honeymoon.

"You'll owl us if you have any trouble with Alby? He's been a little fussy with his new teeth coming, early for his new molars." Hermione nodded as she took a bite of eggs and smiled at Albus, who was doing anything he could not to eat his eggs.

An hour later, after breakfast was cleaned up and everyone packed, they all stood near the fireplace preparing to floo. Hermione hugged and kissed Teddy, James, and the Potters before watching them all go through the floo, turning to Severus who had all the shrunken and transfigured items for their short term visitor. Stepping into the floo with Albus, she dropped the powder and was in their quarters in no time. Her wand cleaned them efficiently as she stepped aside for Severus to come through, trading the baby for his belongings, going into the rarely used second bedroom where she enlarged his crib, changing table, suitcase, and toys, noting that it was time for his nap. Turning her settee into a rocker, she held him and read a book before placing him in the crib with his favorite toy, a stuffed owl, and closed the door, charming the room to alert her when he woke or if he was upset.

"You've a letter from Stieg." Severus held it in the air as he read the rest of his mail, she took a seat at her desk, next to his, and read through the letter from Stieg. He had found a collection of census material for her from Daniella and Anastasia's village, including important history of illness prevalent to the region, which she wasn't surprised to see was practically nonexistent. Going through the information, she quickly jotted information in her journal and wrote back to Stieg, thanking him for all of his help. They would arrive in a few days.

"Where are we going to put them?" She asked as Severus rang for tea.

"Guest quarters, of course. I don't want them in ours." His tone was snippy, almost as though he suddenly found himself angry about something she'd missed in their silence.

"True, and when he transforms?"

"Don't you mean 'if'?"

"It could fail, it's not impossible that it could." He traced her jawline with his quill, snatching it back before she could grab it.

"Improbable." Before she could respond, she heard the charm whistle from the second bedroom, so she cast another spell to see if he was sleeping and found he was, he'd just dropped his owl. Going back to her notes, she quickly scribbled a few more thoughts and then focused her attention on dinner, finding herself famished.

"Do you want some lunch? I'm starving." He turned to her, his eyes tight, and made an odd snort. She decided not to ask any further questions, he was obviously dealing with Hogwarts business. In an instant, she turned on the light in the loo and snapped for Winky, asking for mushroom soup and a turkey sandwich, and food for Albus when he woke. Taking a book from the shelf, Hermione moved to the sofa and started to read as Winky hurried back, a proper meal before her. It didn't take long for Hermione to get full and for the charm to whistle again, this time Albus awake and ready to eat. After they were both completely full, Hermione carried him outside to the grounds, showing him the Whomping Willow, the view of the quidditch pitch, and the black lake, watching him try to walk around through the tall grass. Like his parents and uncles, Albus seemed most attracted to the quidditch pitch at first, then she took him to walk at the edge of the Forbidden Forest, finding it easier to carry him in the enchanted carrier on her back. He excitedly pointed at plants, trying to get her attention, so she picked a few things and explained what they were to him, taking him from the carrier and allowing him to walk amongst the plants, apparently listening when she told him about different mushrooms or flowers, their capabilities in brewing.

"Your Uncle Severus loves this, it's lavender, so useful in many remedies and good for keeping unwanted pests away, smell." Breaking some up in her hand, Hermione wafted it towards Albus and saw him bend, smiling at her as the smell made it to his little nose. His grin spread as he clapped his hands, grabbing a handful of lavender and handing it to him back into the carrier, she walked back to the castle, not sure how much time had passed but knowing he needed a nappy change. Passing the portraits, she thought for a moment that it might be nice to introduce Albus to his namesake, but wondered if Severus would mind her being in his office for that particular reason, she thought maybe he would want to take Albus on his own to meet the former headmaster. Rounding the corner to their quarters, Hermione found the rooms empty as she walked through. Changing Albus had become quite a game, but she kept him distracted with his owl and then let him play on the floor with his other toys, a magical barrier present in case he decided to disappear into other rooms. From the other room, she heard the door slam and decided to stay in the second bedroom, instead of seeking out what would most likely be a one-sided argument based upon his earlier behavior. Sitting with Albus, Hermione decided they should color some pictures for his parents. When it was finally time for dinner, she went into the sitting room and saw Severus asleep on the sofa, one hand draped across his face. Lightly, she brushed his arm away, but the sharp hand clenched around her wrist made her wish she hadn't. It took only moments for him to register who she was before he finally relaxed.

"I'm going down for dinner." She whispered, seeing the telltale signs of a headache written plainly across his face. Albus squeaked from the barrier at the door, so Hermione gave Severus a quick squeeze of his hand and took Albus with her to the Great Hall where a few professors were present. They all fussed over Albus immediately, particularly Pomona and Septima, surprisingly Aurora did as well, which Hermione hadn't expected at all.

"We haven't had a baby at Hogwarts in ages, wouldn't that be lovely?" Pomona remarked, tickling Albus' sides and chin, then handing him to Aurora who seemed to take in every possible inch of him.

"There have been professors with children here?" Hermione asked, digging into the chicken cordon bleu.

"Of course, we've had plenty here over the years, but not a baby in a while. Normally, the professor's children are already grown a bit before they come here. If only I could convince Neville to bring Alice more often; there's nothing like a baby around." Aurora fed Albus some of her tomato chicken in tiny bites and watched as he clapped and cooed, he was not always as happy-go-lucky as James, but he was enjoying the attention from all the professors.

"My Jimmy was five when I came to teach, he loved it here. The primary school in Hogsmeade was established just for us, you know." Hermione couldn't help but smile, perhaps being a professor and having children was as impossible as she'd thought it might be, at one time. Taking her napkin to Albus' face, Hermione cleaned him up as much as possible and then said goodnight to the staff who looked as though they were about to open a cask of something red and delicious. When she found Severus this time, he was still on the sofa, but drinking something and the bridge of his nose pinched.

"Tell Uncle Severus goodnight, Alby." He set his goblet on the end table and felt Albus' arms go around his neck, squeezing him like he'd never see him again. It was an odd sensation. "We're going to have a bath and then it's to bed." Scooping him back into her arms, Hermione winked at Severus and took Albus to the washroom, casting a cushioning spell around him as the water filled and then letting him play for a while before he was washed and toweled off, in clean pajamas, and ready for bed. She read him three stories before he went quietly into his crib, cuddling with his owl, and then finally fell asleep.

"Ginny and Harry are so lucky their boys go to sleep so easily." Hermione's voice broke the silence of their bedroom, almost making Severus jump. "Did you eat?"

"Yes, I had what you had in the Great Hall, I needed to send some missives to the Board of Governors, they seem to have some questions about some possible transfer students from Durmstrang, roughly thirty-five." Hermione's eyes popped in shock.

"Thirty-five? What's happened?"

"It is unclear, but if your friend Weasley could be persuaded, he most likely knows as a raid occurred in Ukraine last week."

"So, what is their concern?" Stepping out of her robes, Hermione slipped her pajamas on and sat across from him on the bed, lathering her skin with lotion.

"These students will be in culture shock here, they presume."

"But, they came here for the Triwizard Tournament…"

"Yes, but they still attended classes with their own professors, mostly and their own techniques. The Governors are worried the new students, all age ranges, will find themselves bullied or would themselves be bullies. In their esteemed opinions, we need to hire at least three new professors and assistants for the course loads with increasing populations as it is, and now these students. You will be getting an assistant this year." Hermione frowned, an assistant. "Don't look so glum, you'll need someone."

"We'll see. I still want first years, they need me to lay the foundation and not some nitwit from the Ministry or worse." After rubbing in all the lotion, she stretched her hands out, resting one on his leg.

"We can work out the course load later, but you must come to terms with the idea." Hermione's face softened, the last thing he needed was pushback from her, so she dropped her annoyance and let her hand travel up his leg to his thigh and then to papers in his hands.

"I think you need a break, Severus." He did not complain or refuse, he simply lay the papers on his nightstand and cast _muffliato_ on their room, just in case little Albus had better hearing in the castle than at home.

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The next morning, Hermione woke after Severus and found they boys in the sitting room, Albus eating a banana and strawberries and Severus drinking his morning coffee.

"Was he crying? I didn't even hear the charm."

"No, but when I peeked in this morning on the way to the washroom, he looked right up at me. I couldnt very well leave him in that cage; I'm not completely heartless." Another morning joke, perhaps the previous night's festivities, which had been rather pleasant, had improved his mood. She gave him a quick hug and kiss, then joined him at the table, eating a piece of toast with blackberry currant and taking a rather hot cup of coffee from him and trying to warm her hands.

"When do the Potters return? Stieg and company will be here in two days." He waved the letter towards her, noting the question on her lips. "He's found some information he feels cannot wait."

"I'll take Albus to Molly early, I don't want him around in case something goes wrong and also don't want you to have to care for him while I am busy." Buttering another piece of toast, Hermione smiled at the dark-haired boy, having a difficult time picking up the banana.

"Think I'll harm the poor child?" She thought his question was serious at first, until she turned her attention to him and found a wry grin on his lips, the lips she couldn't stop herself from kissing when given the chance.

"I have no doubt of your qualities for keeping children alive, dear." Albus moved to her leg and reached up for her, his grubby fingers smeared with banana and strawberries, cleaned with Hermione's wand, his little face lit up as the spell finished. Severus watched them together, completely sure she could charm a blast-ended skrewt if it suited her. Albus turned in her lap to face him, both sizing each other up.

"He's starting to look less like Harry, don't you think? I don't know what it is, not exactly Ginny. Maybe if I saw more pictures of James Potter; I just can't place it."

"He looks like his great-grandfather Potter, Fleamont."

"What a horrid name, glad Harry and Ginny didn't consider that one, aren't you, Alby?"

"Because Albus Severus is somehow better?" She had to admit he was right, but didn't want to give him the satisfaction, so she turned her attention back to Albus as Severus perused the Daily Prophet.

"Speaking of Albus, I'd like to take him to his portrait, do you mind, unless you would rather?" He folded the edge of the paper to look at both of them, then without looking at her, he replied: "I will take him." Nothing else was said as Winky came in and cleared breakfast, she appeared to be taken with young Albus. Hermione wandered if it was all the time she'd spent taking care of Barty Crouch, Jr.

Severus took Albus with him after he was changed from his pajamas, leaving Hermione to work in the lab replacing the stock of potions in the infirmary, hoping she could finish them all before term resumed. Knowing there would be more students meant that she needed to double her previous lists, but it didn't change the actual amount of work she did aside from preparations, which didn't take her as long as brewing certain potions, like Wolfsbane. Hours passed before she heard from Severus who had put Albus down for a nap after lunch, which she had completely missed. She might not have noticed Severus at all if he hadn't encircled her waist when she had finally stopped slicing shrivelfigs.

"You scared me!" Her voice was a full octave above normal as he lips found their way across her neck, teasing and reminding her of the night before, a delicious memory.

"Young Mr. Potter has met his namesake and is safely asleep in our quarters; did you eat?" Her head shook and he cast a stasis spell on her shrinking solution, pulling her away from her working station and into his arms properly. It surprised Hermione how fluid his moods were, easily flowing from one direction to the other, often finding a new emotion before too long.

"Eat this, then I want you to come with me, I have something to show you." Hermione quickly acquiesced, her curiosity completely piqued as he watched, his arms folded across his chest in a fashion she'd seen so frequently in their lives together, she hardly recognized him when they weren't. It took her little time to finish her egg sandwich and crisps, taking one last look at her potion in stasis before joining him at the door.

"Did you cast the charms so we'll know if Alby is okay?" He didn't reply, simply gave her a poignant look, which told her immediately that he had. They walked in silence, the only sound was their shoes clicking against the stone floors, cold even in August. When they reached an area Hermione had only been a few times, she stopped immediately.

"You've added a new tower?" Hermione looked to the stairs that normally led to the Astronomy Tower, and found a separate set of stairs leading upstairs and downstairs.

"With all the students we're adding, we needed some new classrooms. It makes no sense to hire new professors and assistants, giving them no autonomy over their domain. I've brought you here to see if you'd prefer the old potions classroom or this one." Taking her hand in his, he led her down the stairs, spiraling like the ones that led to Sybil Trelawney's classroom, almost making her dizzy. He stopped before the first door and opened it, revealing to Hermione a dream potions classroom, new tables and scales, new cauldrons and a stocked cupboard of ingredients, and best of all a new office with plush furniture. In no time, she was checking the stores and trying out the sofa, the main chair at the desk, and the water from the taps in the back.

"So?"

"You've created a potions utopia, Severus!" She jumped excitedly in his arms, hearing a slight cough from the door, finding Aurora there with two letters in her hands.

"Urgent message from Shacklebolt." She placed the letters on the first table near the door, forcing Severus to release Hermione. He immediately broke the seal of the first letter and swore.

"I'll need to leave. We can continue this discussion later." Hermione's face fell, wondering why Shacklebolt seemed to be taunting her professor so often, but she knew better than to ask or press the issue. Instead, she walked by herself back to the laboratory and finished her potions, went to Albus when he awoke and then to dinner, where everyone continued to fawn over him. After his bath and stories, Hermione found that he was missing Harry and Ginny, so she held him a little longer, eventually charming a barrier around the mattress and laying with him, trying to calm him, rubbing his back and humming slightly as he finally drifted off to sleep, his tears still wet on his cheeks. Severus found them snuggled together when he arrived late that night, joining them instead of trying to wake either of them and finding a foot lodged squarely in his back most of the night. He rather liked the soft expression on her face and if he'd not known the child was Albus Potter, he could've easily been a Snape child. Something about the sight calmed him, smoothed the stress of the day, so even though Albus' foot remained lodged between his shoulder blades most of the night, Severus stayed and slept with them, his dreams full of Hermione.

"Sorry, I didn't intend to sleep in here." Hermione said when she woke, noting that Severus was already awake, reading some journal he must've gotten in his morning mail. Albus was still asleep, holding Severus' pajama pants in his little fist. When Severus didn't reply, she raised herself up on her elbows and navigated off the bed, trying not to wake Albus. Tiptoeing to the other side of the bed, she wrapped Severus in a hug and took her first kiss of the day.

"I've ordered breakfast, Winky will come through in ten minutes." Hermione knew there were many reasons she loved Severus, but one of his most redeeming qualities was his ability to anticipate a need and follow through. After one long kiss, that seemed like it might lead to something more, Severus smacked her bum lightly and she disappeared to the washroom.

Hours later, Hermione got everything ready to take Albus to the Burrow, sad that his stay was shortened but happy that they'd survived. An odd anticipation and relief filled her as she shrunk all of his belongings again, knowing she'd have to deposit most of it at Grimmauld Place. Even though it had only been a few days, she felt the pressure she'd put on herself to make sure Albus wasn't too much of a burden on Severus release, making it easier for her to imagine what their life would be like with a child. Some of fears had been assuaged; they could navigate the responsibility of having a wee one around without fighting, though Albus was certainly easier because he wasn't a newborn. In her mind, the little girl flashed and she saw Severus reading her a story, tucking her in, washing her hair. It made her heart incredibly light, and even if they never had a child of their own, she felt relieved that they had a godson who could fill the tiny gap in her heart that was forming ever so slightly the longer she was with Severus.

Before stepping into the fireplace, Hermione put all of the shrunken items in her bag and then took Albus from Severus, who surprised her by kissing Albus lightly on the forehead before kissing her as well, putting his arm around both of them and then waiting as she stepped in.

"See you for dinner?" She both said and asked, he bent his head in agreement and then turned, walking out of their quarters as a green light flashed through the rooms.

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The Davenports arrived around dinner the next day, giving Hermione plenty of time once Albus was safely ensconced at the Burrow to organize her notes, the potion, and the quarters where they'd be. She also steeled her heart against seeing Anastasia again, knowing that just being in her presence would be incredibly annoying but not impossible. Severus never discussed his trip to the Ministry, but Hermione knew if it really bothered him, he would eventually bring it up. Instead, when she returned from the Burrow, they ate a quiet dinner in their quarters and then read on their sofa before retiring and finding comfort in each other's arms, Hermione thankful that, aside from the Anastasia incident, the summer had been relatively pleasant.

After the Davenports were situated in their rooms, Hermione had them meet her in the Great Hall for dinner, introducing them to the staff who were slowly trickling back from summer vacations and sabbaticals, all interested in the Potions Master who had trained their own headmaster. Dinner took hours more than she anticipated, but it was pleasant to see her guests so engaged with the staff, hoping that if things went well, she'd be able to collaborate with Stieg again and possibly have him talk to her classes. Patrick seemed rather intrigued with Aurora Sinistra, which made Hermione get Severus' attention, he'd been in deep conversation with John Crowe, who was asking about his new assistant. Anastasia had remained quiet throughout the evening, which Hermione assumed was due to the last time they'd seen her. Surrounded by people conversing gave Hermione plenty of time to size Anastasia up; she was a truly beautiful woman, reminiscent of beauties she'd seen in art galleries all her life. It was no wonder that men were drawn to her.

"Patrick, have you thought about moving up to secondary school?" Hermione heard Filius ask.

"I have, but with things the way they are at Durmstrang right now, I don't believe that is a viable option." Immediately, Hermione wondered if Severus had thought about hiring Patrick as her assistant, he was reared by two Potions Masters and had been teaching for seven years, surely he was qualified. It seemed that Severus was having the same thought as Hermione because they locked eyes, and then both looked to Patrick who was sitting shyly next to his mother, who had still said very little.

"Well, Stieg, I'm afraid we must retire, tomorrow will be an important day." Hermione offered her arm and smiled as he took it, saying goodnight to all the professors who were still sitting at the long table normally reserved for Ravenclaw students.

"Severus seems in his element here, the staff clearly revere him greatly."

"I"m sure it didn't happen overnight, though, not with everything that happened with the war. Some of the professors refused to return when McGonagall retired and they announced he would be taking the job as headmaster again."

"Well, my dear, it seems we both have a date with destiny tomorrow. Sleep well." He kissed her cheek as she used her wand to open the door to the guest suite of quarters, seeing Patrick and Anastasia coming down the hall with Severus. Hermione said goodnight and turned away from them, walking back to the main hallway and then to her laboratory. She wanted to go through her notes one more time and make sure everything was ready for the next day. In a matter of hours, she would be testing the first prototype cure of Wolfsbane and taking samples from Anastasia and Patrick, again, and waiting. They'd have to wait until at least six in the evening to know if the potion was at least successful in curbing his transition, perhaps longer to know if he was truly cured. After one last glance over her notes, Hermione reluctantly closed the door to the laboratory, walking deep in thought. Severus was in bed when she walked in, not realizing four hours had passed. He was almost asleep when she finally made her way under the covers, lacing her hand around his waist, making herself the big spoon.

"Goodnight, Severus."

"Try to actually sleep, Hermione." She could hear the humor in his voice and smiled against him, feeling her anxiety melt away and her eyes finally closing.

After breakfast, they all met in the potions lab, where Hermione took blood samples from everyone and then immediately put Stieg in the enclosure Severus had conjured for their trials, making it impossible for him to escape if something went wrong. She had everyone sign paperwork stating they understood what they were committing themselves to and that it was not a guarantee of success, and lastly a liability form releasing Hogwarts from liability should something go wrong. Once all the forms were signed, Hermione took the vial of the cure and held it tightly in her hand. Passing the potion through the small window at the door, Hermione watched as he took off the topper and turned to them, almost toasting the air, and swallowed it. Immediately, the vial hit the floor and Stieg stumbled back, his hand at his mouth.

"What's wrong?" Hermione's voice was full of the dread she felt, watching him through the glass.

"Bitter." Was all he could manage before collapsing onto the bed, falling immediately into a deep sleep. Hermione cast a charm to see his vital signs, his heart rate was elevated, his eyes were moving as though he was already in REM sleep. In a flash, she saw his body convulse, obviously the disease was trying to fight the cure. Without a moment's thought, she turned to Severus and asked him to take Patrick and Anastasia out of the room, in case something went terribly wrong, she didn't want them to see Stieg die.

"We know what we signed up for, I don't want to leave him."

"If something goes wrong, I will have to open the door and that creates a much more complicated situation, Patrick. I can't have you in here if he transitions and the door is open, you may not change if bitten, but he could kill you and…" Patrick didn't need to hear more, he simply followed his mother from the room. Whimpers from the enclosure brought Hermione back to Stieg, who was curiously hovering two feet over the bed. Severus returned briefly to check on her and moved a seat near the enclosure so she could at least sit, but she stood, taking frantic notes of every change in his vital signs and his behavior in general, finding him going back and forth between complete calm and hysteria. Four hours in, food appeared next to her, but she couldn't eat, she simply watched him, wondering when he'd open his eyes again. At some point in her own delirious state, she closed her eyes for second and was startled awake by a tapping noise. Her eyes snapped open and she was greeted with Stieg standing at the door, eyes ablaze and the eeriest smile on his lips.

"How are you feeling?" Hermione asked tentatively, afraid to get too close. Taking her wand in her hand, she set her journal and quill down before standing defensively.

"It didn't work, professor, you have failed." His nail continued to tap the glass, a look in his eyes she could only describe as hungry, ravenous for something. It took a moment for his words to register, for her to actually hear that the potion had failed. His eyes were as blank as any predators and for the first time in years, she was legitimately scared.

"Your Severus will be so disappointed in you, such ambition and brains squandered...you know he'll leave you if this doesn't work, don't you. He doesn't suffer fools, professor, and you are a little fool. Stuck up and bossy, no one finds those two attributes particularly attractive, no one. And to have ensnared him at all, how did you manage that? You're certainly no beauty, hardly any figure and tightly wound...do you have to tempt him with a lust potion before he lowers himself to fuck you?" Hermione was trying to understand where the conversation had come from...did something in the potion compel him to be as nasty as he'd once been? It took all of her might not to retaliate, not to play into the venom he was spewing.

"Did you offer yourself to him to get this job? It's one of his favorite pastimes, you know, deflowering young women; taking them when he knows he'll cast them aside...know this now, girl, he will cast you aside, because he cannot love and he will not. Don't pretend that you'll change him, he's completely incapable of real change; I see it in your eyes, you actually believes he cares for you? He cares for ambition, for results, and now that you've failed, he will have no use for you." She felt his eyes devouring her, they were yellow like the sunflowers she saw each time she imagined her daughter with Severus.

"Do you want to know how he came to me; it's a truly interesting tale. The Dark Lord initiated him at seventeen, barely free of this horrible school, top scores in the subjects we cared about, but completely devoid of the training he needed to truly be an asset...see, at that point he still cared about people, his filthy father, even, and that mudblood he couldn't protect...but I digress, he came to me after a particularly pitiful attempt at taking out some muggles in Leeds, the Dark Lord knew he needed proper training, so I taught him to kill, to bury those useless emotions of love and empathy. He became the machine we needed him to be, but it took years, you were all convinced that he turned to Dumbledore, but when the Dark Lord returned, Severus joined us at the revels, taking delight in torturing just as he'd been taught. He may have spied against us, but that didn't stop him from enjoying a festive revell, an orgy of lust and death. You know, I watched him, once, torture a child, a little girl with eyes quite like yours...he flayed her, cast one of his special spells and watched her bleed for a time, each drop saved for potions. Do not underestimate him, he will destroy you and I will be the first to congratulate him." And then just as quickly as he'd woken, he was out again and Hermione was shocked, close to vomiting. When she was sure he was asleep, she let out the breath she'd been holding and recorded everything he'd said in her notes, finding her tears marking the page as much as the ink. She was so thankful she'd made the others leave the room; hearing him say those things about Severus would've been far worse had he actually been in the room.

Hours later, when it was clearly dark and the full moon was high in the sky, Hermione cast another spell on Stieg and noticed all of his vital signs were completely normal. In an effort to calm her still wayward heart, she finally ate a bite of food and looked over the blood samples, finding the same curious antibodies in Anastasia's blood as she'd found in Patrick's. When Hermione finally returned to the enclosure, Stieg was sitting on the edge of the bed, in tears.

" Stieg?" She was afraid of what he might say, would he launch into another horrifying diatribe about Severus?

"I'm so sorry, Hermione, so very sorry." His legs shook as he stood and came to the small window, putting his hand through. "Something evil came over me, I wanted to hurt you so badly. Please, please do not take those words to heart. It was the disease talking and I feel free, finally free. Please, I am so sorry." She took his hand in hers, feeling comfortable enough to see that he would not become a werewolf that night. The door shut and Hermione realized that Severus had heard him apologizing to her.

"Let me take a blood sample and get you some dinner." Hermione's voice quivered as she turned to get her vials. Severus remained at the door, watching them interact. For a brief moment, he saw her hand tremble as she took Stieg's blood, stoppering it and taking it immediately to the centrifuge and then summoned an elf to bring him some soup, something that would not interfere with the potion. Eventually, when it was clear Hermione was not going to discuss what had happened, Severus left the room.

When he was resting again, Hermione took some of his blood and looked at it under the microscope, finding only a trace of the disease being attacked constantly by the new potion. Perhaps he would need another dose, but she was sure it was working at least. The only perplexing thing was his behavior, the vitriol he spewed to her. Was the disease strong enough to manifest in such a disgusting and disturbing way? Looking back at her notes, she decided to cast a spell on him much as she'd cast on Albus, and turned the chair she was sitting on into a small cot, trying to sleep as much as she could without dwelling on his cruel back turned to him, Hermione wondered if she could ever forget his words, was Severus truly a cruel person who masqueraded as someone normal to have some semblance of a normal life, or were those words spoken intentionally to get a rise from her? In her heart, she wanted to believe that the words were exactly what Stieg had described, the disease talking, but at the same time, she knew that their had to be truth to some of it or it wouldn't have occurred to him to say those things at all. It was no great shock that his early life had been so volatile and destructive, but to know that he had enjoyed participating in revells after Voldemort's return made her stomach turn. Of course she'd known he'd had to do terrible things to convince Voldemort that he was loyal, but somehow in all the years since the war, she'd blocked those things from her mind when she thought about him. Fitfully, she turned away from Stieg and faced the wall, trying to stop her tears, which was a fruitless battle.

Early the next morning, Stieg still asleep, Hermione went to her quarters and showered, changing into something more comfortable and found herself alone for the first time in hours, wondering where Minka had scampered off to, trying to remember that last time she'd seen her familiar. Lost in thought, she didn't hear Severus come through the door and say her name. When his hand touched her shoulder, she jumped in the air, away from him, her wand drawn for good measure.

"Are you going to hex me?"

"Sorry, it was a trying night, I…" She closed her eyes, trying not to think about the things Stieg had said, and burying her emotions so she wouldn't cry, but finding it as difficult as she had the night before. When he put his arms around her, she flinched, seeing the girl in her dreams surrounded by blood in the sunflower field, her eyes cold and dead.

"Hermione, what happened?" When she finally opened her eyes, she saw him vulnerable, his eyes pleading with hers.

" Stieg might be cured, but I need to do more tests. I'll be back later." She walked quickly passed him, unable to tell him what Stieg had said or even that there had been such a devastating moment in the trials. He didn't follow her to the lab.

000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000

After taking a full genes scan of Anastasia and Patrick's blood, Hermione checked in on Stieg and found him pleasant and ready to be released. Although his blood samples indicated that he was cured, Hermione didn't trust the potion completely, so she kept him in the enclosure for another evening, allowing him to have a special dinner. They discussed her work and plans for the future over dinner, Patrick joining them. Anastasia went to their quarters complaining of a headache and Hermione hadn't seen Severus since that morning. Patrick mentioned that Severus had offered him the job as her assistant and though Hermione knew it would be a great fit, she wondered if she could work with Patrick, seeing the hints of his grandfather in his face. Even motivated by a dangerous disease, Stieg's words haunted her. Patrick left for bed after dinner, leaving them alone.

Taking a second dose for good measure, Hermione watched as Stieg went through similar motions from the previous day, except this time she remained completely coherent. They played chess and discussed the differences between Durmstrang and Hogwarts, Hermione hoping to make the transition for those students easier with the information Stieg gave her. The time was so pleasant, she almost forgot the experience she'd had the previous day.

"Hermione, do you accept my apology? I don't think I can leave here knowing that I've wounded you so greatly." She contemplated his words, wanting to assuage his mind but finder hers full of questions.

"How much of it was true?" Hermione barely recognized the voice that came from her when she asked the question.

"Do you really want to know?" He wasn't mocking, and she felt her heart fall.

"Yes, I do." His shoulders slumped and she saw his hand shake like hers had, a sigh escaping from his lips before he pushed the hovering chess set through the window to her.

"Nothing about you, of course, I hope you know that I do not consider you to be anything but a lovely woman, dedicated and headstrong in the ways I could never hope to be, but Severus, he was, is complicated. I do not doubt he loves you, but dear, he is complex, I don't know if he'll ever be as open as you are, as loving, as warm." Hermione held up her hand, she wasn't concerned with this part, and he took her meaning immediately.

"Did he kill that girl you described?" Stieg's face fell again, knowing that he had to be honest.

"No, but there were many others, we all killed. We tortured, maimed, and killed, he expected it of us and we did it." His candor almost broke Hermione, but she kept her face blank.

"How do you live with that? I'm not being judgmental, I'm just genuinely curious, how does one live with that kind of past?"

"Did you kill anyone in the Final Battle?"

"Not that I know of directly, I didn't cast a killing curse, but there were many who died around me who could've fallen because of my spells."

"I am not excusing what we did, but we viewed our actions as similar to those in battle, we were protecting our ideals, the way of life we wholeheartedly believed was the only way...as I said, I am not excusing what we did, even if we often had little choice, but I can only live with myself knowing that I've spent the last years doing everything I can to rectify the years I spent in ignorance. Severus will never forgive me, I know that, but he is the reason I turned from the Dark Lord; I saw what I created in him, and I knew it wasn't the right thing.I took a young man who needed a father and made him a killer, I am ashamed of myself, Hermione, so ashamed." It took a moment for Hermione to react, but she did, reaching across the glass and taking his hand in hers. Although she would never truly understand what compelled people to kill like the followers of Voldemort had, she recognized despair when she saw it and her empathetic heart wouldn't allow her to deny him comfort.

"Your apology is accepted, Stieg, and I look forward to continuing to work with you. Now, you need to rest, I have a feeling you'll be pretty exhausted tomorrow." Hermione released his hand and lowered the lights around the enclosure, and casting her charm. Stepping from the lab, she found herself almost running to her quarters. When she finally walked through the heavy door, she found Severus on the sofa, pretending to read but obviously waiting for her. Without saying a word, she fitted herself against him.

"Are you going to tell me what happened?"

"Not tonight, when they leave." He was satisfied enough with her answer, so he didn't push it. Even though she was relieved that she and Stieg had discussed the events, she still felt troubled and wondered how long it would take her to unsee the girl, her pretend daughter, surrounded by blood. When she finally fell asleep against him, Severus took her to bed, tucking her in and finding it hard to not stare at her calm face, completely free of the distress and sadness he'd seen earlier that day. It worried him that she'd flinched from his touch, that she'd refused to tell him what had happened with Stieg, which was completely unlike her. And worst of all, the calm of her face faded and her tears fell for hours; she was obviously in pain.

The Davenports left two days later, Stieg cured, though Hermione knew that his case was exceptional since his grandson's blood contained DNA from himself. She knew she would have to test many more people before it was definitive. Patrick accepted Severus' offer and agreed to return by September first, and Anastasia thanked them both for their hospitality and for curing Stieg, though she still appeared quite uncomfortable being around Hermione. Although Hermione felt incredibly happy that her hypothesis was proving to be successful, she knew there was still a long road ahead of her in terms of writing and researching, publishing and brewing. She knew Severus wouldn't have forgotten about the situation with Stieg, either, and it plagued her the entire day once they'd left. After dinner that evening, her legs strewn across his, he finally asked her about it.

"I don't know if I can adequately put it into words, really. It was as though he was possessed by the disease, all the cruelty he wanted to inflict as a werewolf came through him as a human as his body fought the disease. I was so...well, scared. I worry this will happen to all of the candidates." Severus nodded, scrutinizing her face as she spoke. He could tell immediately that she wasn't telling him everything.

"And what happened while he was this frightening version of himself? I find it hard to believe his looking eerie was enough to make you so distraught." Hermione took a deep breath and swung her legs over the side of the sofa and walked to her desk, the journal on top the one she knew she needed.

"I don't think I can say these things aloud, Severus, it's still too raw. The man he became, I know now what you meant when you warned me...if that was the man you served while you were apprenticing, I am so sorry, I wouldn't wish that vile beast on anyone. He was the nastiest person I've ever encountered and that's saying a lot." Hermione turned through her notes, finally getting to the pages he needed to see. "I wrote it all down but I hope I never have to see this again after tonight." Reluctantly, she handed the journal to him and watched as his eyes poured over the writing, reading it more than once as he flipped back and forth between the pages. He closed the journal and his eyes.

"I cannot express to you how nasty he was, how terrible he made me feel...he was like a boggart, except real and dangerous." Without saying a word, Severus handed her journal back and leaned forward on his elbows, cradling his head in his hands. "He and I talked before they left and he explained certain things about what he said. Should I have kept this to myself?" Hermione reached out to him, putting her arm around his shoulders and then pulling him towards her, into an embrace she knew he probably didn't want, though he didn't fight her.

"How can you even look at me?" He whispered, his face still buried in his hands.

"I knew what you sacrificed long before I loved you, and that included hurting people. If you felt compulsions to continue...I...I wouldn't be able to stay with you." He pulled back from her, his eyes as haunted as Stieg's.

"I will never hurt anyone again if I can help it, barring defense of you and my students. I can never live long enough to find absolution in this life. You should've let me die." And those words, the ones he'd said before, broke her hard exterior and made her cry.

"You can't mean that, you didn't deserve to die...we've all done bad things…"

"I hurt innocent people, I didn't forget to return a book or spill coffee on a Ministry document. That girl, she was my neighbor's daughter, I cast crucio on her for intervals, I don't even recall how many. I deserved to die, you should've let me die." Hermione didn't know what to say, she knew nothing she said would make him feel better or ease his pain, yet she tried anyway.

"But, that isn't you now, is it? You didn't want to hurt her, you had to. War makes us do terrible things, Severus, we make bad choices and often sacrifice our morals for the greater good. I cannot offer you peace, I can only remind you that I love you and believe that the person Stieg tried to create doesn't exist." He pulled from her completely and she could see the anger and melancholy all over him. Sighing, Hermione retreated to the loo and washed her face and hands, finding it difficult to stop herself from trembling. When she came back into the room, he was sitting on the sofa again, his arms crossed.

"Come on, let's go to bed. There's no sense rehashing something that we cannot change. You cannot change your past, Severus, and I do not wish for one moment that I had made a different choice. Every day, I am thankful you are still alive." Her hand took his and led him to their bedroom, where he took little time getting ready for bed. Curling next to him, Hermione tried to imagine how terrible he felt, she'd felt increasingly horrible for several days so it was pretty easy. His arms finally came around her, his hand resting on her hip.

"I don't say it often, but I do love you, you know, unconditionally." He held her tighter, kissing the top of her head and taking a deep breath.

"We don't say it often, do we? Stieg was wrong about that, you see, I can love and I do love, I just don't know how to show it properly. If I could figure it all out, I know I'd be a better spouse for you, but…"

"You are lovely, Severus, and even when we have disagreements, look at how far we've come already. I'm just as flawed, you know."

"I do love you." She decided to drop anything else she might add and instead focused on holding him tight, making sure he felt just how much she loved him, even if she knew he would be contemplative and distant for a while, questioning everything about himself. She worried he'd push her away again, but she knew there was nothing she could do to change his mind if he did, she simply resolved to love him like he'd never been loved in his life, though he certainly wasn't going to make it easy.


	16. Chapter 16

**AN: This chapter has the full gambit of emotions, but such a pleasant end. Things that happened in the previous weigh on heavily on HG and SS, but much of it is resolved here. Thank you for reading, reviewing, and sending me messages! I truly appreciate the support!**

 **Chapter 16**

The new term crept up on them swiftly, pushing Hermione into a frenzy in trying to organize her potions project, classroom, lessons, and training Patrick for secondary studies and preparing him to brew his portion of the infirmary stores. In that way, she was certain having an assistant professor was going to be a welcome change to her school year. Patrick was competent and listened to her every word, recording her wishes and advice with the same deference that she had when Severus had first brought her to Hogwarts four years prior. It took them very little time to establish a routine, which was aided greatly by having separate working spaces, though Hermione found that she enjoyed having someone to brew with again. When students returned, Hermione and Patrick co-taught several lessons when they schedules allowed, making the transition for older students easier and helping to establish Patrick as an important colleague in the castle. It took no time for him to become the new 'heartthrob' professor of Hogwarts, though several younger professors had been hired as well, none were as popular as Patrick was. Although he hadn't gone to Hogwarts, his house at Durmstrang identified most with Slytherin, but Hermione found that the Ravenclaw students most appealed to him and the Hufflepuffs, who seemed to intrigue him with their willingness to work together to accomplish their goals.

During one of their meetings the first week students were back, Hermione and Patrick had a long discussion about Stieg and his first full moon without transition since he'd been bitten. Although Hermione still considered his case rare, due to his association with Patrick, she hoped the new trial patients she had lined up for October would have the same results, minus perhaps the vile reaction to the disease being eradicated. She poured over her notes, the background of every ingredient she'd used, but found nothing she could pinpoint that led directly to the reaction Stieg had manifested when the disease was being attacked. Brewing potions became her distraction from writing, studying for her last practical, and worrying about failing her Potions Mastery; proving herself had never become so important to her. And though Patrick had been a great addition to her working routine, he wasn't Severus.

Things between Hermione and Severus had become strained as the new term started, mostly due to his stress regarding the new students and professors, and her worries about working on her project. It felt as though a major backslide had happened and even though she'd wanted to avoid it as much as possible, Hermione found that she could no longer take on the task on her own for the first time since they'd started dating. Although they still shared quarters and lived in comfortable companionship when possible, Hermione found that Severus didn't go out of his way to include her in his life, his decisions, not like he had before. It worried her that he was pulling away more than he ever had, even when the hadn't really spoken for a few months. He did speak to her, just in pleasantries and sometimes not even then, and though she knew she needed to broach the subject, it was beyond her capabilities as term was in full swing to add one more things to her list of duties. She eventually accepted that he would come around when he wanted to and if he didn't, she'd just have to find a way to reach him again. Stieg's revelations, even if precipitated by the cruelty of lycanthropy, had reminded Severus so much of his time with the Death Eaters, and though much in his life had changed since that time, the guilt of his actions weighed heavily on him and nothing he did seemed to ease that guilt. And though he hadn't meant to, he found himself pulling away from Hermione again, mostly in fear of losing her to his past.

The evening of her twenty-eighth birthday, she met with Neville, Patrick, and two new professors with whom she'd already made some connections, Violet Carmichael, who taught Astronomy and Henry Woodville, who taught Ancient Runes. They met in the staff lounge and had some chocolate trifle and wine, all sharing stories from their day. Hermione tried not to think about her absent love, but it was difficult as the others regaled their sadness about missing their spouses, especially Neville.

"I'm glad my floo is connected, it's hard not seeing my daughter more often." He quipped, finishing his wine and trifle.

"Too right, my Bonnie is looking at a flat in Hogsmeade so I can pop down and see her when we have a free night." Henry said, his dark hair falling in his eyes like Severus' often did.

"Once you're married, your spouse can visit here, as long as the students don't get too curious about it. The bylaws regarding married staff are quite clear." Hermione added, conjuring the massive tome of bylaws and turning to the same section she'd researched when she and Severus had first started dating. "You would need to file this paperwork with the headmaster and Governors, but there are plenty of quarters available to married staff that remain unused."

"Thanks, you're a wealth of knowledge." Henry and Violet both nodded in thanks, pouring more wine for all of them. Although she was enjoying herself, Hermione wished she was at Grimmauld Place or even in her quarters reading a good book, curled up on Severus' lap, but knew he was busy working on a grant for more funding towards the runes classes for trips to different areas around Britain. Sighing, she finished her wine and thanked them for their company on her birthday and left for her quarters. It was eerily quiet when she came through the door, Minka still missing and Severus obviously in his office or somewhere else in the castle. Hermione decided a good soak was a better alternative than going to bed early, so she ran a bath and chose a book from her shelf, the Moonstone, and tried not to think about the odd path her life was currently taking. She knew, based upon his behavior, that she would have to take things into her own hands, but she simply felt as overwhelmed as he did and couldn't imagine trying to open the door to communication and being rejected; she couldn't imagine trying to curl up to him and being pushed away, but those thoughts plagued her mind.

An hour later, she heard the door to their quarters open and heavy boots thud against the wardrobe, the meticulous unbuttoning of robes and then finally a heavy sigh. Hoping to catch him awake, Hermione drained the tub and dried off, wearing her bathrobe through their quarters into the bedroom where Severus was lying on his back in the dark, no light from the faux windows casting any shadows. As she climbed onto the bed, he reached for her, pulling her on top of him as her robe fell away. His greedy hands explored her body, as though he was touching her for the first time, rolling her onto her back before he ravaged her properly, his kisses so welcome after weeks of chaste pecks. Her mind was immediately assauged of her earlier fears; it was clear Severus still wanted her.

"I'm sorry I missed your birthday." His words were hot against her skin, his kisses landing around her neck and traveling down her chest, and though she wanted to tell him it was all fine, words were lost on her lips. Instead she simply allowed him to worship her body, taking what he offered at face value and knowing that he was making an effort, even when it was clear he was being pulled in several directions at once.

September drifted quickly into October and Hermione looked forward to celebrating Albus' first birthday and seeing her Potters, who she hadn't been able to see as much during the summer. They left for Grimmauld Place around lunch the Saturday after Albus' actual birthday, carrying gifts and wine for Harry and Ginny, who looked worn out already. In a flash Teddy was at their side, showing Hermione where to set the presents and then taking them to the garden to see the makeshift quidditch pitch Harry had transfigured for the older kids. Severus got caught up in conversation with Harry and Ron regarding the situation in Ukraine, still a major problem leading to more students transferring from Durmstrang to Hogwarts, ten more had come after term started. Watching him from across the garden, she wished he would discuss those issues with her like he had before. She pushed her feelings down and picked up the birthday boy, who seemed just as happy to see her as she was to see him.

"You're one, Alby! Can't you stay a baby forever?" She covered him in kisses, and tickled his sides, laughing with him as he tried to stop her. Walking over to Severus with him, she handed him over. "I want a new picture for the frame." They turned to Ginny and waited as she took the picture, Hermione looking up to Severus and smiling, then to Albus who played with the collar of Severus' navy shirt.

"Alby is one, I'm two." James said, tugging on Hermione's skirt, she reached for him.

"You're a great big brother, James." Albus reached for Hermione was well, and she positioned them, knowing it would be difficult holding the two boys. Ginny snapped another picture as the boys both hugged her sweetly and then each other, before the inevitability of a fight started wherein they both wanted her undivided attention. Ginny saved her from a swotting match and took Albus with her to greet other guests, while James hopped down and took her hand, going over to the older kids and Teddy, who were playing exploding snap with their Uncle Ron.

"Uncle Ron keeps winning, but we'll get him back." Teddy threw his hands up as Victoire and Louis, Bill and Fleur's children, lost another match to their uncle. Ron grinned, looking up to Hermione who saw for a second the boy she'd loved at Hogwarts, mischievous and funny. James let go of her hand and stayed with the other kids, so Hermione drifted back to Ginny's side, sitting next to her in their adirondack chairs and sipped the pumpkin juice Harry handed her.

"So you have new trial patients next week?" Ginny asked, looking around the garden to their family and friends, wishing they could all see each other more often.

"Yes, they'll be at , though. Legally, we could only have Stieg at Hogwarts because no students were present, so Patrick will take over most of my classes and the others will have independent work."

"Is Severus going with you?" Ginny noted the odd look that passed Hermione's face, looking to Severus and then back to Ginny.

"No, he has to stay at Hogwarts." She quickly sipped her juice, wishing to avoid another conversation about their relationship, beating the same poor old dog. It felt like she rarely had something positive to tell Ginny about their time together.

"I won't ask, but obviously something has happened."

"It's the same old problems, Gin, maybe someday I'll figure him out...but, it's Alby's birthday, I don't want to dwell." Ginny reached across the space between them and rested her hand on Hermione's forearm.

"Perhaps you should take a break, once all this is done, the trials I mean. After your practical, maybe go to France again or somewhere new." Severus happened to look over to her as soon as Ginny said France and she gave him a gentle smile, wishing she didn't feel so conflicted again. Hermione wondered why Ginny's advice was always to go somewhere or to spend time alone, and surmised that perhaps Ginny truly wanted those things, to be able to view an event or feelings uninterrupted. Hermione watched the interactions between the people gathered to celebrate Albus Potter and almost cried wishing she could stay longer.

Due to things being so chaotic at Hogwarts, they couldn't stay the night as they normally would, so Hermione reluctantly said goodbye to the boys and then Harry and Ginny, stepping off the landing and apparating into Hogsmeade village, waiting on Severus to appear. It was a slow, quiet walk to the gate and then through the halls. He kissed her hand and went to his office, leaving her to the loneliness of their quarters. She missed Minka, she missed Severus, and as though her optimism finally caved in, she hoped they'd survive until the end of the year. They weren't fighting, there were no angry snips or backhanded gripes, it was as though they were two ghosts haunting the same room. It was worse than fighting. She felt completely cut out of his life, as though what had happened with Stieg had finally cemented with wedge Severus had been struggling not to push between them, his words about being a good spouse haunting her. When he finally came to bed that night, he found Hermione curled into a ball, her eyes puffy and swollen, tears wetted the pillow case. He wanted to wake her, to tell her that things would be fine, they'd work themselves out as they always did, but he found himself unsure. Would she still want him when she finally finished her mastery?

Hermione left early for St. Mungos and her first official trial of the new potion, which she didn't have a clever name for, she simply called it the lycanthropy cure. Taking her travel case and plenty of journaling material, she met with the candidates and started their paperwork, releasing Hogwarts of liability, even though they weren't testing it in the castle, she still didn't want anything about her work to tarnish Hogwarts. Taking their full medical histories, Hermione then put each of them in enclosures, making sure their washrooms worked and that they were comfortable. After going over the intial reactions Stieg had experienced, the five people took their potion, two healers available in case things went awry. As they all complained of the bitterness, Hermione put their first blood samples in the centrifuge and waited to view the samples under the microscope. Within a matter of minutes, all five candidates were asleep, the fighting of the disease the most taxing. She steeled her mind and heart against their possible reactions, but found that they all slept soundly for six to eight hours, all thirsty and hungry when they awoke. None of them transitioned and when she took their blood samples, she found that they were all free of the disease. The synthesis of Patrick and Anastasia's blood was truly the key- to cure lycanthropy finding people immune was key.

"In a month, you will return here to be tested again to ensure a cure has been achieved. Please take these vials of regular Wolfsbane with you in case you find yourself feeling the familiar pull as the full moon approaches." Two of the men hugged her, which she hadn't expected; it made her feel incredibly thankful she'd found Patrick Davenport and knew that immunity was even possible. The healers kept the participants for another twenty-four hour period to make sure there were no adverse reactions to the potion and then they were released. Hermione returned to Hogwarts in rare form, smiling broadly as she went through the halls to Severus' office. Taking the spiraling staircase up, she found him poring over mail. He didn't notice her until she took a seat across from him, dropping her travel case lightly on the ground and waiting for him to look up.

"I take it things were successful?" He surmised from the grin that she couldn't hide.

"Yes, completely successful, well we have to wait on blood draws in a month, but hopefully completely successful." Practically hopping in the seat, Hermione spoke with animation, her hands flailing and her practically squeaking. He put his quill down and left his desk, walking around to her and sitting on the edge of his desk in front of her, taking her hands in his.

"Do you feel relieved?"

"Somewhat, but also nervous...there is still so much to do, so much research and data to complete. What was I thinking?" He pulled her up to him and wrapped her in his embrace, trying to get her to breath normally before she hyperventilated.

"Let Patrick take your classes again tomorrow, I'll handle the seventh years. Work on your project, enlist students as you have before, and I'll help you go through data this weekend, that I can do without scrutiny." It was his reassurance and positivity that Hermione needed in that moment, his ability to look at the entire situation and see all possible problems and outcomes.

"Thank you, Severus." Cupping his face, she kissed him softly and turned, grabbing her travel case and feeling for a moment that the planets had aligned again, giving her the Severus she most enjoyed.

By the time her last practical arrived, Hermione was ragged at the edges, her trial cases had gone superbly, but she was still concerned about residual effects, though Stieg had been four months completely free of the morning of her practical, as though the gods had smiled on her, Minka returned, a bit ragged and underfed, almost pushing Hermione to tears upon seeing her. Without speaking, Hermione handed the cat to Severus and then fled their quarters, arriving slightly early for her final test, the last time she would be completely in the dark about what she might have to brew. The potioneer reviewer waltzed in ten minutes after she did, warding the door and telling her the directions for her final test: she was to create five separate potions from the ingredients before her, no notes and no help, everything had to be from memory. Before getting started, she grabbed the cauldron Severus had given her for Christmas the year before and parchment. She immediately catalogued the ingredients and immediately began brewing a calming draught, followed by pepper-up, a potion for migraines, one for a liver disease to replace bile, and the last was felix felicis, all taking far more time than she had anticipated. Once decantered and ready, she handed them over to the reviewer, who had actually hovered over her work this time, watching her slice and squeeze, stir and temper, making notes as she moved about the working station. He didn't makes a sound, simply watched her every move. By the time he had tested her final potion, he handed her a full report, careful notes about her process and the list of forty potion she could've made from the ingredient present. But found, though all the information was helpful, she wanted to see her score. Searching the paper several times, she finally found her rating, she had passed, though there was no official score as she'd had before.

"We await your final project, Professor Granger. You did well today." The only words he'd spoken all day made her heart leap. Thanking him and shaking his hand, he left without another word and she cleaned up, wishing perhaps she'd tried a few other potions on the list, the ingredients all rolling around her mind, their instructions like folders in a filing cabinet accessible in order. After everything was cleaned, she walked to the Great Hall, taking a seat next to Severus, wishing she could envelope him in a hug and kiss, she settled for the smooth feel of his knee against hers and the occasional resting on her hand on his arm, as they spoke about the day with Neville and Filius. Patrick eventually came over to ask her about the was then she realized how much she appreciated that Patrick had inherited the ability to be so comforting from Stieg, even if Stieg had the ability to be a cruel man, he wasn't, and Patrick was so easy to talk to, she found herself seeking him out like the brother she never had.

"So, how did it go?"

"It was so stressful, just jars of ingredients and I had to make five potions, it was overwhelming. The reviewer also watched me far more intensely than he ever has, but I passed, so all I have left now is the defense of my final project and presentation to the board in May." He pat her on the back softly before taking Neville's seat as he left.

"Grandfather will be delighted. He said for me to give you this." She took the package from Patrick, it was heavy, much like the one Severus had given her at Christmas, so Hermione thought it might be a special cauldron, but she was completely surprised when she opened the package. It was an onyx cauldron, specifically used for potions concerned with blood pathogens, and though her other cauldrons had worked just fine, she knew that having an actual onyx cauldron would greatly increase the potency of her lycanthropy cure.

"This is an exact replica of his first cauldron."

"But shouldn't you have this? You're his grandson after all." Hermione couldn't hide the tears in her eyes, she also felt Severus staring at them.

"Well, he knows I will never be the brewer that he is or you are, and honestly, blood potions, no thanks." Hermione found the short note thanking her and congratulating her from Stieg, wanting to hug Patrick for his help.

"I'm going to have to find a way to thank you both but right now, all I can do if hope you know I couldn't have done any of this without you." Hermione put her hand on Patrick's and then turned to Severus, who was sitting, arms crossed. "Nor you, though I'll save my thanks for later." It wouldn't have mattered in that moment if Hermione had leaned over to kiss Severus, the students who fancied Patrick Davenport were watching him more than Hermione, though they did notice how her hand hadn't left Professor Davenport's, which led to much gossip before students left for the holidays and after. Hermione remained oblivious until her student assistants giggled when Patrick brought her some ingredients from his stores. Finally, she weaseled it out of them, worrying Severus had also gotten the wrong impression, but she found when she brought it up, he didn't seem to think it was a big deal. One thing was certain, Hermione had come to view the Davenports as family and hoped that someday she would be able to not only smooth whatever was happening with Severus again and his relationship with Stieg.

Christmas came quickly, finding Hermione and Severus at Grimmauld Place, a recovered Minka happy to romp around the rooms and garden. Once dinner was commenced on one of Hermione's favorite nights of the year, she found herself enamored with her beau. Sometimes, when he wasn't concentrating too hard, Severus looked about as free as any man could. His face softened, he might laugh once or twice, but it was his brow that finally rested, descending from his hairline to its proper place.

"Happy Christmas, Hermione." Hermione turned to see Bill holding a gift for her, it was the first time in ages he'd drawn her name. Quickly tearing the paper back, she was shocked to find new timers for her lab and a new scale. Hugging him swiftly and kissing his cheeks, she watched as Arthur handed a gift to Severus, but missed what it was as she felt Kingsley Shacklebolt walk around her to Ginny and Molly. Looking back, she lost Severus in the crowd, but found Hannah Longbottom and gave her the cookbooks Neville had hinted that she wanted. After several glasses wine, Hermione helped Ginny clean up and then made her way up the stairs, stumbling a few times and laughing with Ginny as they almost fell. Severus was reading post again but set it aside when she opened the door, cheeks tinged with inebriation.

"I wish you'd go with me to France. Won't you?" She suddenly asked, stripping all her clothes and warding the door; she could hear the impudence in her voice and was annoyed with herself and immediately wished she hadn't said anything at all, especially when he finally responded.

"If I could, I would." But she didn't believe him. When she'd first brought up the idea, he'd immediately shifted his attitude and she hadn't even asked him to go with her, but then she'd made a point to ask him, just to hear him say no.

"Fine." She hissed, finding herself bubbling over with emotions, both happy and sad, annoyed and exhilarated. All of the things she'd held in exploded in frenetic energy and she couldn't stop herself from changing into her pajamas and going back down the stairs to the library, trying to keep herself from saying or doing something she knew she would regret later. Instead, she became immediately immersed in a book, Waverly, and fell asleep amongst the books, waking early enough to start breakfast, her face sore from crying and her body completely exhausted. That night had been one of the worst since she and Severus began their relationship, mostly because she knew she was punishing him for something he couldn't help but she was lashing out, all of her stress and emotions boiling into tears. It occurred to her hours after she'd been downstairs that she should go to him, but she just couldn't make herself climb the stairs and apologize- she didn't want to apologize for wanting him in her life.

Stirring the batter for the french toast, she found Teddy's hands at her waist, asking to help. Moving over, she allowed him to mix and then help her dip the bread before they warmed it on the griddle and then sent it to the dining room with all the other breakfast goodies. Eventually, the entire brood was awake, so she finished the bacon and beans, making sure there was plenty of french toast for everyone before taking a seat next to Harry. Her heart just wasn't in Christmas that morning, even after coffee and syrup, delicious blueberry compote, she just felt devoid of her normal Christmas cheer.

"This is so good, Hermione." Ginny remarked, cutting into her french toast, covered in the compote Teddy had helped make.

"I had excellent help this morning." She replied, ruffling Teddy's hair which was green and red for Christmas. Severus finally came through with more coffee and then made his plate, quiet and pensive as usual, though far more for a typical Christmas morning.

"I cannot wait to see what Father Christmas brought you." Harry teased, looking towards the den where the Christmas tree was. Hermione finally cracked a smile watching Teddy scarf his breakfast so he could open presents sooner, James and Albus oblivious to his rushing.

Hours later, after all the presents were opened and everyone pleasantly full and ready for a midday snooze, Hermione found herself alone with Severus for the first time that day, packing her things and wondering if she would ever feel the chasm of emotions within her calm. Admitting she'd been childish the night before to herself, she thrust her clothing into her bag but couldn't look at Severus. She felt far too foolish and sad.

"Here is the name of the Bed and Breakfast I'm staying at in St. Malo." She handed over the small piece of parchment before petting Minka and standing on her tiptoes to kiss him. It occurred to her that she could've just stayed at Hogwarts if she wanted to be around him more, to smooth the great space between them, but she also knew that getting him away would've been better- he needed a break just as much as she did. He didn't mention the previous night and she didn't apologize; she didn't want to continue apologizing for wanting him around and even though she understood the constraints of his position, she felt herself seethe with jealousy that he was always so consumed. If she'd stayed at Hogwarts, she would've felt herself competing with the castle and the demands of his position, and she found she just couldn't do it for another day without some space.

Turning on her heel, she found him looking rather sour, his own things packed ready to return to Hogwarts that afternoon. She wanted to ask if he'd miss her, if he wanted her to come back at all, but she knew it was foolish of her to even ponder questions as those and would serve only to make her look immature if she asked. Although it certainly hadn't been their worst Christmas, it hadn't been as pleasant as the previous year's, which was practically normal. Before taking the door knob in her hand, she scrutinized him once more and found herself just as conflicted as she'd been years before. Although he looked on the verge of words, he simply placed a hand on his breast pocket and bowed slightly towards her.

In one fluid motion, she bounded down the stairs, angry at herself for being unable to keep her promise to love him like he'd never been loved before. The chasm was too wide at that moment, making it practically impossible to traverse on her own. She knew he was overwhelmed, she understood completely what she'd gotten herself into when they started dating, but it was rare moments as these that she questioned herself and her desire to stay committed to someone who often could not give of himself the way she could. Hermione chastised herself for being so pessimistic and judgmental, perhaps Severus was trying his best and what he gave was simply all he had at the time. Either way, she resolved to enjoy her stay in St. Malo and relax, knowing when she returned to Hogwarts, she'd face the reality of her life once more.

She spent her week in St. Malo touring the walled city, taking tea in shops as old as Hogwarts and finding reading nooks along the way, trying her best to fit in when muggles were present, thankfully there were two full restaurants and book shops that were owned by wizards, so it made the time there pass in easy happiness. Her mind didn't wander too often to the strained nature of her love, but when it did it socked her right in the stomach; how could one achieve so much personal success yet feel completely inadequate in the ways of romance? Longevity was new to her, her relationship with Ron had certainly lasted longer thus far but hadn't had near the depth or quality that she was experiencing with Severus. Even her fights with Ron had made her feel little in the way of actually trying to fix the situation, she often fought back ruthlessly, trying to make a point or win; yet, with Severus, she found herself holding her tongue aside from the occasional one-word sentence or angry outburst, and it was always related to the same issues. It made her wonder if this would always be an issue for them or if eventually they'd finally find a groove that suited them both.

The day before she was supposed to leave for her return to Hogwarts, she walked down to the shore and watched the fishing boats going in and out, then to the statue of Jacques Cartier, standing on the tall wall, she wondered what it was like for all the people who watched their loves leave for the New World or a war with Britain or elsewhere, never knowing if they would return. It made her feel selfish to know that people had watched their loved ones disappear forever and she couldn't handle her love being six feet away and not talking to her, but not ignoring her either. All the resolves she'd made over the course of their relationship, to communicate more, to be honest with him had simply gone out the window that term and she knew she was just as much at fault as he was this time; it dawned on her instantly, looking out to sea, that she had been pushing him away just as much as he had. Replaying all of the moments in their quarters, his arms around her in bed, his kisses waking her in the morning, his hands tangling through her hair...he may have said little, but his presence was still there, he hadn't disappeared quite as much as she'd convinced herself he had and it gutted her. Suddenly, she felt completely foolish for allowing herself to be so blinded to his affections and to dismiss his responsibilities. Christmas Eve flashed before her, his face when she'd asked him to come to France with her and knowing that it pained him to have to say no, again. Perhaps what had happened with Stieg had haunted her far more than she'd been willing to admit.

Wiping her eyes and blowing her nose into the handkerchief he'd given her ages ago, Hermione turned from the wall and sea, to walk back to the cozy Bed and Breakfast where she was certain dinner was ready to be served. They were known for having the perfect croissants and homemade jams, so she was sure to make it back for meals. Walking through the door, she found the little dining room and took a seat near the window, looking out to perfect little road where people on bikes pedaled by, she loved that it was too small for cars. Taking out her copy of the Count of Monte Cristo, Hermione thumbed through it before the sweet lady who cooked for the B and B came through with her croissant and soup, a hearty lentil that evening. Stirring her tea mindlessly, thankful the B and B was owned by a witch, Hermione didn't notice the man in black sit across from her until his hand stilled her stirring.

"Constant vigilance, Professor." She knew his voice immediately, the feel of his skin against hers, and his eyes, so much relief behind them when she smiled.

"What are you doing here?" She queried as he brought her hand to his mouth.

"You asked me to come, have you changed your mind?" Hermione's face fell, she certainly didn't want Severus to leave.

"No, no, of course not, I just didn't expect you, is all. Berthe will need to bring you some soup, these croissants are the best I've ever tasted." She quickly tore one apart and offered him half, gauging his mood which seemed rather positive based on his muggle clothes and knife perched just so against his fingers, trying the jam.

"Your owl said this was the best jam you've ever had, let's see." She watched as he put the jam on a croissant, his fingers long and adept as ever, the flakes of the perfect croissant leaving a trail from his little plate to his mouth; in mere seconds, she saw his face soften, the corners of his eyes and mouth turn up on pleasure.

"They're having steak tartare tonight, so if you want something else we can walk down to a little shop about a block away, they're having roasted mushroom chicken." Hermione could tell he liked the jam, practically devouring the croissant in seconds. "I told you!"

"Steak tartare is agreeable, though I think i'll need a walk after this regardless. Be glad the house elves haven't figured this out yet, we'd all be rolly polly."

"You're in a jolly mood." Berthe came out with their entrees, seeing Severus through the kitchen window. She poured them both a glass of red wine and then scurried away, seeing that they were obviously catching up.

"I'm on holiday, finally." She smiled up at him from her knife and fork, remembering her earlier epiphany and knowing she needed to apologize to him.

"Listen, this term, I've been horrid...I shouldn't have tried to make you feel guilty for not being with me here, that was cruel of me. I'm sorry, truly." Without looking up at him, she could feel his weight shift, his arms reaching for her hands.

"You had every right to ask me to be here."

"But, the demands on you are too much and I keep finding myself asking as much of you as they do, it's not fair to you or me." She'd hit it finally, knowing that it was just as poisonous to herself to expect so much of him, as it was probably wearing for him. It was as though a light suddenly flashed in her mind.

"You can make demands of me, I welcome your demands, it's the others in my life I find I have no patience for. If things ever calm down this year…"

"Severus, we can make it through this year, I didn't want to even think about it until this afternoon, but we can. It'll be easier when I'm not being dictated a schedule by the mastery board." His knife and fork stilled, he looked skeptical.

"It won't calm down, Hermione, you are going to publish your results and you'll be in such high demand. I know you think I was condemning you before, but your work is not going to slow down. Even if the Governors and the Ministry hadn't demanded an assistant for you, I would've hired one regardless." His skepticism was palpable and she could feel her own optimism fading for a moment.

"I feel inadequate, that I cannot do it all, though. Have Vector and Sinistra said anything about their fellow professors, the new hires?" She pushed her food around, knowing he was right but not wanting to admit that she would be far busier once she published her work.

"Yes, they find it quite helpful, you are the only one obstinate enough not to see the gift. If I had had an assistant to covers some of my courses during the war, well, my life would've been much easier. Try not to think of it as symptom of your inability to 'do it all' as you said, and more that you are working at University level work and have been rewarded with aid for your efforts. Here, I have this for you as well, it's merely a receipt so do not pretend you won't accept it." Hermione turned the envelope and his words over in her mind, he was right of course about having Patrick as her assistant professor, she would be able to focus on the last part of her project with ease now that he was handling some of her work load. Opening the letter, she recognized Stieg's handwriting immediately.

"He cannot be serious." She looked from the receipt of her Gringotts account, more money than they'd previously agreed on, not that she'd wanted a cent. "I told him I didn't want to be paid, I've plenty of money on my own...he should've given this to Patrick...anyone." She read his letter over and over, knowing that he was grateful for her work, but she didn't want the money.

"He won't take it back and Patrick inherited far more than that when Sean Patrick died, trust me. The Davenports are not lacking for money, their humble home is a facade, I promise." His eyebrows were raised so high as he spoke, his hair shifted to cover his face.

"Did you give him my account?"

"No, he's conniving enough to do that on his own, but I would have- he was right, you cannot work for free or people will take advantage of you." He almost laughed at the indignant look on her face. "Look, spend it on something frivolous or charity, give it to someone who is in need or save it, just don't try to give it back, he means it earnestly. Stieg has few ways to express his gratitude aside from gifts." Mulling over his words, she knew he was right. Perhaps she could use the money to do something good.

"Well, the cauldron was gift enough, this is far too much; it's more than I'd make as a professor in ten years." Berthe broke their conversation with apple tarts and cappuccinos. When they were finished, Severus took her hand and they walked through the walled city together, Hermione pointing out areas she'd been to a few times. They ended up at the sea wall, where she'd been only hours before, except this time she curled her arm around his waist and pulled him close, the air turning cooler.

"This is my favorite spot; I think about the people who've left from this port, having grand adventures...it's even lovelier in the summer. My parents brought me here a lot when I was a kid, we stayed in a little hotel on the other side of the city, obviously before they knew I was a witch." Putting her head on his shoulder, she pulled him closer, both arms encircling him.

"You had a fortunate childhood." He noted the scowl before he even finished his sentence. "I don't mean because your parents were upper middle class, I mean because they cared about you enough to take you with them, take you anywhere, include you. I don't want to dredge up the past, it was just a thought." Hermione knew what he meant, his parents had been terrible examples to him and she knew that was why, at the core, he had such a difficult time trusting people and letting them in.

"I would never treat a child like that, any child. I wish my parents were still around to meet you, they might have balked at first, but my father would've enjoyed your sense of humor. He was quite stilted and dry as well, his tone able to scare me more than my mother's shouts any day, not that I was often in trouble, mind you." He felt him rumble lightly with laughter.

"Somehow I doubt that, your sassy mouth?"

"True, and when my magic first manifested, they were sure I was purposely destroying things around the house. What two year old can levitate their peas?" She chuckled thinking about her parents, knowing in an instant that if they ever had children, they wouldn't have grandparents. It was a terribly sad thought. She hoped that being surrounded by aunts and uncles, by extension, and staff at Hogwarts, their imaginary children would feel the same love she always felt from her grandparents.

"It reminds me of Hogwarts, this." She said, pointing to the stars, but there was something about the crisp ocean air that struck her, bringing her back to childhood again.

"We'll have to come back when I can stay longer." She nodded in agreement against him, the air blowing her hair madly against them, but Hermione didn't want to move, she felt so blissfully happy with his surprise visit, being in a place that elicited such wonderful memories from her childhood helped as well.

"Do you have time to go to Mont St Michel with me tomorrow?"

"Yes, Sinistra is handling everything, you'll be able to coax me up all those steps." Hermione closed her eyes and took in the scent again, the way the air blew his musky smell to her and the ocean's breeze, she wanted to remember the moment for the rest of her life.

"Did you see that?" He tugged her slightly, forcing her to open her eyes, and she saw what he'd seen, a shooting star off on the horizon. For a moment she couldn't believe her eyes, she'd never seen one before and certainly not so large in the sky. Turning to him again, she saw that he was just as mesmerized, his face filled with wonder almost like a child. Taking the opportunity, Hermione reached for his face and pulled him into a passionate kiss, one she'd wanted for so long, as though they were lovers separated by an ocean, it certainly felt that often enough. When she broke away for a brief pause, the wonderment was still there, the euphoria of being together after all they'd already been through. Her heart melted as he hands pressed against his frock coat's buttons, and the excitement of getting to love him so freely made her bold, and him as well.

"I love you, you know." She gasped against his lips, her hands cold against his even colder face.

"I know." When she released him and started to turn back towards the hotel, her heart practically ready to collapse in joy, she found him standing still, one arm awkwardly at his side and the other holding her hand, stopping her from taking another step. He pulled her back, practically making her feet stumble into each other.

"Are you not cold?" Shivering against his hands, she saw that he was seemingly finding the words to say something to her, his face a microcosm of emotions, flittering about in such quick succession, she didn't know if he meant to break up with her or something worse.

"I was going to do this tomorrow, but it seems an opportune moment now." She held his hands, they were shaking either from the cold or from whatever he was about to say, but she could finally see the vulnerability in his face again and it calmed her nerves momentarily. "Actually, I planned to do this Christmas morning, but things were...tense...I've spent three years wondering if I would ever get the courage to make this more permanent, worrying about your mastery project and becoming a liability to you; I knew I'd never forgive myself if any part of that was ruined, but now that you've gotten past the major hurdles…"He paused again, his voice as low as she'd ever heard it; she couldn't take her eyes off his. "Hermione, I promised we'd talk about the future when we got to this point and though we've still five months before you're officially an accomplished Potions Master, I cannot wait one day more to know if you'll consent to be my wife." Even though she had surmised halfway through that he was most likely going to ask her, Hermione was still surprised when she heard the words, the words she'd wanted to hear for years from his lips. Releasing her hands momentarily, he reached into his coat pocket and retrieved a diamond ring, pausing only a second before putting on her ring finger.

"You came all the way to France to ask me to marry you?" She joked, looking down at her hand in shock, not expecting that he would be so traditional about it. It had crossed her mind a few times that he would probably just apparate them to the Ministry and find the civil magistrate to perform a ceremony, which was probably how they'd go about the actual ceremony anyway, but she hadn't anticipated that he'd ask her on a wall, looking out to sea with a sky full of stars in a small town in France.

"I assume you will?"

"Of course, of course I'll marry you." She threw her arms around his neck and jumped up and down a few times, kissing him before breaking away again.

"Let's go inside, it's freezing." He took her hand and they walked back to the B and B, her mind still racing over him asking her to marry him, it was the last thing she'd expected when she woke up that day, but the best possible outcome from a rather perfect day.

"Sometimes, you truly surprise me, Severus." He helped her out of her jumper once they made it to her room.

"I'm a man of many talents." Helping him out of his clothes, she found him warmed quickly under the covers, their bodies entangled pleasantly to both keep the cold out and to finish the evening off in a banner way.

"When were you thinking?" She asked, resting her head against his chest, the covers pulled up as far she could.

"That's up to you, I have no preference, just no silly games or required parties for me, please. I'd prefer a simple ceremony, at the lake or somehow similar."

"The lake would be nice, and I agree no silly games. Just family and friends, something small. Maybe after the conference?" He kissed the tip of her nose and wrapped her tightly in his arms.

"We can decide some time over the semester, when you're ready." He replied, making her brow furrow, but then she contemplated his words; it had been a trying couple years and rushing into a marriage, even if she desperately loved him, was not a particularly good idea. He wanted her to be ready, to know her heart and mind completely, which implied that he already knew his. Turning the ring between her thumb and index finger, she thought about him, inhaled his scent and felt the pressure of his arms around her, feeling as content and comforted as she could after her misgivings.

"You're right, there's no rush. I say we don't make plans right now, at all, and see how things pan out with my projects...it would be ludicrous to try and plan a wedding while I am finishing my mastery, even if it is to be simple."

"We could get married tomorrow and I would be content, Hermione, I don't want you to misconstrue my meaning." He replied, teasing the skin at her lower back, running his thumb and fingers over the sensitive skin and watching her shiver against him.

"I didn't, I promise...okay, perhaps at first, but being married…" Momentarily, Hermione couldn't form the words: she wanted him to know that she wanted to marry him, she'd accepted his ring and hand, but that their wedding wasn't what she was looking forward to, she simply wanted the commitment of being his wife, being bound to each other.

"The wedding isn't important to me, Severus, at all, and the fact that you would even consider having one tells me how serious you are about it all, so I say we table setting a date or even planning...maybe we should be spontaneous about it." Shocked that she would be willing to be spontaneous about something he thought she would obsess about, pulled her even tighter, kissing her neck softly.

"Now look who is surprising whom." He whispered against her.

"The marriage is important, not the wedding...I am not being flippant about the marriage, you'll have a hard time getting rid of me once you're mine, Severus."

"I've been yours for many years, my dear." Snuggling against him, Hermione felt his hand start to play with her hair, signaling how tired he was. Reaching up one last time, she kissed him again and then rolled away, casting another warming charm on the bed as his fingers continued to twirl errant curls between them, putting her to sleep just as much as him. She didn't recall falling asleep, but she did remember seeing her ring one more time before she closed her eyes and she smiled, feeling the weight of the term falling off of her for the time being.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17: Author's note: discussion of suicide/senicide in this chapter. Warning for those who find themselves sensitive to this topic, please avoid this chapter if you find yourself unable to handle this particular topic. My personal feelings on the topic are irrelevant. I consider this an emotional chapter, one that moves the plot along but also shows how much SS/HG have changed since they first began seeing each other. It's also a rather long one. Please let me know what you think!**

After a lovely visit to Mont St. Michel, Hermione and Severus returned to Hogwarts where a few were told of their engagement. She owled Ginny as soon as she could and received a very excited reply, asking her for all the details of their wedding. Hermione knew it would be wise to tell the entire staff, they could learn of their change in status, she didn't want to invite their scrutiny as she finished her project, so she wore her ring infrequently, it wasn't always appropriate for brewing anyway, so she wore it around her neck most of the time. She was so consumed with working on her final proposal that she hardly thought about the staff or their concern regarding her relationship with Severus, and she rarely had time to think about her wedding as well, thankful they had decided on something small and personal so that last minute plans would be easier to put into action.

Although he hadn't wanted anything for his birthday again that year, Hermione tried to do something special for him. She asked Sinistra, in an awkward conversation, if she would be willing to handle school business for one evening, and whisked Severus to London to see one of his favorite plays, Sweeney Todd, and to a dinner that wasn't made by elves. Although they'd both been exhausted the next day, Hermione knew he'd had a good birthday, even if he hadn't wanted to celebrate at all.

March marked the third trials of the lycanthropy cure, her two other trials being successful and showing no residual effects on the participants, St. Mungos gave her the go-ahead to have another batch of werewolves come in and hopefully be cured. By that point, Hermione had already sent Patrick back to Romania during Easter holidays to get more samples from the village his mother and grandmother were from, showing that more than eighty percent of the residents of the village were immune to the disease. She knew there was more to research, such as why they were naturally immune, but she couldn't include it as part of the project, so she tried to forget about it when we worked, knowing she'd have more time when she was officially done with her mastery.

As May came and her review board loomed, Hermione found herself presenting material to Severus and Patrick one evening, going through her data as she would at the potions conference and fielding questions from them in hopes she would be more prepared. The night before she was to submit her project and meet with the board, Hermione received three letters from competing companies for her work.

"Severus, how could they have found out? I made all the participants sign a nondisclosure agreement and St. Mungos, I have it all in writing." She handed the letters to Severus and slumped against the sofa, huffing in frustration as Minka jumped on her lap and curled into a tight ball.

" Stieg?"

"Would he, really? It has to be someone else...I don't want to sell my potion to anyone, I'm not even finished with it, not really." Folding her arms in defiance, she closed her eyes and tried to stop herself from swearing.

"You aren't required to sell, but you did apply for patents along the way and once they were approved, the Minister or secretary of patents could've leaked this information. They weren't held to any hexes."

"Kingsley, you know he'd want this advertised. I swear, that man!" She tossed the letters into the fire and decided to take a bath, knowing the next day would be arduous. Severus found her asleep forty-five minutes later, so he helped her to bed, making sure he set her alarm for an hour earlier than normal. He laughed when she woke up, her hair a mess and her heart rate noticeably high. She scurried around the room, throwing on clothes and organizing her notes for what seemed like the third time, before finally eating breakfast and kissing him goodbye, her ring safely tucked beneath her business robes. Stepping beyond the gates of Hogwarts, she apparated to the Ministry and waited anxiously for her review board, not knowing quite what to expect, except from Severus and Stieg's experiences over twenty years prior.

"Professor Granger, they will see you now." Hermione nodded politely at the secretary before going through the doors, her travel case securely in hand, another piece of Severus with her. When she took her seat in front of the panel, she saw the man who had been her main reviewer and then, to her surprise, Horace Slughorn.

"Good morning, Professor, I am David Hammersmith, we have asked you here today to review your progress and final project. My colleagues, Jennifer Mayhew, Phillip Moravian, Aloisius Finlayson, and of course, you know Horace, have reviewed all of your materials, your potions practicals and written work. We have few questions and find this step merely a formality for you. What we do ask, is that you explain what your next steps are for your project."Hermione released her breath and launched into her next phases, obtaining the next patent for the most current potion, reviewing the history of the village in Deva and trying to pinpoint the immunity strain, and ultimately making the potion available for mass distribution, if possible.

"And do you plan on continuing to teach?"

"As long as Professor Slughorn does not wish to come out of retirement." He smiled bashfully at her and shook his head. All in all, the meeting had not gone as she'd expected at all, they were all congenial and welcoming, much like the fellows she met at the potions conference in Bruges. Before they gave her the official documents, Hammersmith asked her to stand while Slughorn walked around the conference table and wrapped her shoulders in official Mastery garb, the robes she'd seen on Severus, billowing through the halls of Hogwarts.

"Now, all we need is for you to sign this paperwork, it will take roughly two weeks to process and then you'll receive your final approval and license. Thank you for all of your hardwork and diligence, Professor, we commend you and look forward to your future endeavors." Hermione took her copy of all the papers, shaking each of their hands and hugging Horace.

"Out of curiosity, which of you reviewed my potions?"

"It was a different person each time, the glamour is pretty successful, then?" Hermione looked to Jennifer Mayhew in shock, there had been three different people.

"Yes, it certainly works." She thanked them again and left the room, clutching her travel case, now laden with her preliminary license and official passing marks. It felt like all the work she'd done for three years was worth it, each missed meal, misunderstanding with Severus, each long brewing session, it all felt worth it. When she walked through the gates, she saw him resting against the castle doors looking like a seventh year ready to graduate, a grin on his lips.

"They gave you robes? I had to buy mine." She put her case down and mocked his stance, the robes billowing behind her and they looked like twins.

"Horace was there, I cannot believe it."

"He owled me last week and said he'd be part of your committee, though he didn't say much else." He rested his hand on her sleeve, knowing that students could walk through at any moment.

"Now, I have to focus on NEWTS and OWLS, poor students." He snorted and rolled his eyes, accompanying her into the castle, and to their quarters. Hermione immediately sent an owl off to Harry and Ginny and then Stieg, then took a long shower and joined Severus for a quiet dinner together.

"I thought it was going to be worse, so much worse, but they didn't ask me about my research at all, just what I planned on doing after this. It unnerved me."

"They didn't need to ask questions, I kept telling you all that practice was unnecessary. Your proposal was flawless." The eleven year old of her heart felt immediate satisfaction from his words, words she'd never heard from him when she was his student.

"I wouldn't be surprised if they offered you a fellowship."He added, stirring his tea.

"Well, I am not considering anything until I get back to Romania and study the village." His brow raised, as though he didn't believe her, but he didn't mention anything, simply went to his desk and retrieved a large box for her.

"I have something for you." Hermione scoffed.

"You needn't have gotten me anything, Severus." But his cutting look told her to stop talking, so she closed her mouth and opened the box before her. The first thing she saw was a new microscope, magical capabilities far superior to the one the school had owned for fifteen years, and something she couldn't have guessed if she'd tried; a tea set.

"It's from the village in Deva, Patrick found it for me on the last trip. I thought it might be symbolic somehow." It was the most unique tea set she'd seen in ages, black with brilliant reds, yellow, oranges, and blues. The details reminded her of fairy tales from her childhood.

"Thank you, it's so lovely!" Hermione eyes brimmed with tears as she held a tea cup in her hand, knowing how much thought Severus had put into the gift. Placing it back in the box, Hermione handed him an envelope.

"What is this?" He looked at her with skepticism.

"I couldn't think of something to give you, a tome or new robes just felt boring and not sincere, so I did something else." First he read her letter, more like a short story, of how grateful she was for his help and support, for pushing her in the first place, and for his love. Finally, he got to the last page.

"I've established two things in your name; a permanent arts program here and a fellowship, for aspiring potions students to get additional tutelage. The funds are in accounts with rates only Stieg could've argued for, but there you are. You never have to fight the minister to bring culture to our school and because you've been such an amazing mentor, more students will go on to study potions in your name." He put the letter down, speechless.

"Hermione, you should've used that money for…"

"You said to do something useful with it, so I have." She left her side of the table and joined him, sitting across his lap and kissing him.

"You've outdone yourself, Master Granger." His hands snaked through her hair before traveling her body, finding her skin soft from the bath and smelling of the sweetest jasmine. Pushing her soft pajama top off her shoulder, he planted kisses across her skin, sending chills down her spine, the coolness of the room and the warmth of his mouth and breath creating something akin to electricity on her skin.

"Take me to bed." She moaned against him, taking his hand as he stood, and practically running to their bed. There was no doubt Severus was happy about her tribute to him.

The remainder of term passed slowly, she felt each day moving at a snail's pace and the only explanation she could think for it was knowing she would be presenting her major work at the conference and that, before the summer was out, she would be marrying Severus. None of it seemed at all real or possible, that her three-year program was finally coming to an end and that when she returned to Hogwarts in the Autumn, she'd be a married woman.

Glancing around her classroom as the seventh years completed their NEWTS, Hermione brought the Ministry tester some tea and then took a seat in the back of the laboratory Severus had designed just for her, thinking back to the weeks since she'd passed her review board. It wasn't as though the engagement had been a plaster over their issues, she knew that there would always be things they needed to work through- both had issues communicating, she always trying to prove herself to him and he always unsure of himself, but she smiled thinking of how far they'd come. Part of her missed the gentle sweetness of their first months together, brewing together in the lab and reading on his or her sofa, now their sofa. It was one of the things she hoped would change when they returned in the Autumn, being able to brew together again, his hands drumming on the edge of the work station, the precise chopping and cutting; there was something magnificent about his hands and mind. Part of her hoped they'd find an easier year in general, one without misconceptions and disagreements. Lost in thought, Hermione didn't notice the room disperse until the Ministry official brought over paperwork to her and nodded politely as she left. Making her way to the Great Hall, she took her seat next to Severus and Patrick, both looking a ragged as she felt as testing wore on, with third through fifth years still to test. Severus' hand came to rest on her knee for a moment as the students chattered and staff discussed testing.

"It's hard to believe they'll be gone in a few days." Patrick said, looking out amongst the students, carefree and happier than the staff looked.

"How do you think your first year at Hogwarts has been?" She heard Filius ask from his left, pouring more pumpkin juice into his goblet.

"It's been an education, for sure. The standards here are quite different from those at Durmstrang, and having older students definitely changes things. I'm glad I've been asked back." He clinked glasses with Filius and then Hermione, who wondered how she would've survived the year without him taking part of her course load. Eyeing the students, she hoped the ones who had come from Durmstrang felt as assured as Patrick did.

"Do you think we'll be getting more students from the east again next year?" Hermione quietly asked Severus, leaning towards him before stealing his roll and buttering it.

"I'm unsure, but we are getting the first rash of war babies next year, enrollment for first year looks larger than all my years here."

"I've always wondered, do you get to see the scrolls when names are added for all ages, or just first years?" It piqued her interest, were Teddy, James, and Albus already on the scrolls to come to Hogwarts, or did their names get added when they first showed magical capabilities?

"Headmaster privilege."

"So that's a yes?" She knew he was being evasive, not saying yes to give himself plausible deniability, so she just laughed at him and finished her dinner. It was a lovely evening, she thought as she strolled outside with Patrick, Neville, and Violet Carmichael, patrolling the rambunctious kids who were desperate for quidditch and free time. Neville continued to the gates where he apparated home to Hannah and Alice, leaving them to woolgather as the sun started to set. They didn't say much, just turned back to the castle and walked to their quarters, Hermione wondering if perhaps they'd formed an attachment.

"You get more mail than all of Hogwarts." She remarked, finding Severus on their sofa, Minka batting at his socks strewn over the edge of his boots and in his hands what looked like twelve letters.

"Jealous?"

"Hardly. Do you think Patrick and Violet have formed an attachment?" She asked, plopping down beside him after removing her robes.

"If they have, they haven't submitted any paperwork."

"I told him he'd have to, when I thought he was still seeing Diane, I mean really I told all the new professors because I didn't want them getting sacked because they couldn't be bothered to read the bylaws before shagging like wild dogs." A faint rumble forced her to look at Severus, he was actually laughing.

"Sinistra stopped me this morning to remind me about our new paperwork, she said the Governors have an issue." Hermione handed the letter to Severus who was surprised he hadn't received the same paperwork. Highlighted text showed that the Governors wanted a second evaluator for Hermione, an impartial Ministry employee.

"Asinine, completely asinine...they might as well send Dolores Umbridge back if they're so concerned future my wife is getting special treatment." Hermione enjoyed his righteous indignation, especially when it involved words like, 'my wife'.

"Maybe she complained and doesn't want to admit it, I mean new a new classroom, labs, office...she might see that as favoritism."

"Blast if it is, and I had them build ten new classrooms overall, not just for potions. I'll speak with her tomorrow and get this sorted. If they want another reviewer, it can be someone here and not someone from the Ministry. The Ministry will be too busy keeping up with curing werewolves thanks to you, anyway." Curling herself against him, she rested her eyes as his arm rested gently on her shoulder, his thumb rubbing gently the spot where her arm became her chest, hitting the side of her collarbone every so often, mulling her to sleep the longer she stayed still.

"Come on, let's go to bed, this will all be here in the morning." He put the letters down and took her hand, following her to the bedroom before finding the best sleep he'd had in weeks.

The next morning at breakfast, Hermione made herself study the behavior between Patrick and Violet, who seemed far chummier than she had first witnessed. Perhaps in being so busy with her work, she'd missed the budding romance? Regardless, they seemed to get on very well, so she decided to speak with him before term ended to make sure they filled out paperwork in case things became more serious.

Exams continued that day and at lunch, which seemed to be a more subdued affair than dinner had been, Severus arrived ten minutes in, leaning down to her as he took his seat.

"You were right, she was miffed, but it's arranged, Babbling will be your second reviewer."

"Babbling? I thought she was leaving now that Woodville is here full time." Hermione cut into her roast, trying not to appear to be stabbing it.

"I convinced her to stay, we'll need her for another year at least. Woodville is still too inexperienced, besides, it'll free you from Aurora's watchful eye." Hermione looked down the line to Sinistra, who wouldn't meet her eye and then past her to Bathsheda Babbling, whose class she'd loved in when she was in school and knew she needed to make a better effort of working with her.

"You've accomplished more than me in four hours, no wonder they pay you the big galleons." His smirk made her grin, he tried to look as imposing as he normally did, but she saw right through him.

"Back to testing, see you at dinner." Hermione waved to Patrick and Violet, then walked back to her classroom, down the swirling stairs, and into the calm of one of her favorite places in the castle. Sometimes she missed the old classroom and all the memories she had there, brewing as a student, seeing Severus stalk through them, but the classroom and labs were similar in aesthetic, so she sometimes caught a flash of memory of her old days. Taking out her journal, she worked through some of the data she'd received from the St. Mungos from the people who'd originally received the potion after Stieg, their blood work still completely clear of the disease and no follow-up dose had been necessary. Going through the most recent trial, she found similar data, and hoped that when she went to research in Romania again, she'd find the source of the immunity. Students filtered in once more and she set her work aside. Her third years were her favorite bunch in terms of their interest and ability in the subject.

"This will be your final brewing for the year, make it worth all the hard work you've done so far. Instructions are on the board, you have two hours." She glanced around the room reassuring her students, hoping they took their time and followed the instructions carefully. It took most of them no time to get started, but a few stragglers looked lost, so she walked through them, her robes billowing as she strolled past their tables.

"Problem, Davies?" The young Ravenclaw looked up to her and shook his head, but she kept her eye on him all the same. Before she could look to another student, she heard a familiar sputtering and turned to her left, wand ready to stop an explosion before it occurred.

"Malcolm Firth, what have you done? Were you paying attention to your potion or your seat partner" She immediately ordered Jessica, his partner, to step away, the cauldron fighting against her stasis spell.

"I think I added the valerian root too soon, Professor." Hermione peered into his cauldron, the color and smell so putrid she almost lost her wits.

"You will write an explanation for the failure of this potion and brew it again tomorrow, Firth."

"But, Professor, does that mean I'll fail?"

"Do you care more about passing or learning? Did I not say that you would brew this again tomorrow? Listen carefully and follow directions, Mr. Firth, and you'll learn from your mistakes." He bowed his head as she sent his cauldron to the sinks, immediately extinguishing the flame at his station.

"You have one hour left, class." She continued to circle the class but watched as the boy wrote his essay and then went to clean his cauldron. It had taken her little time as a student to understand why Severus Snape was so severe towards them regarding safety; a cauldron explosion, one ingredient added incorrectly, or a person's mind distracted could lead to serious injury or worse. When they were finished, she kept Firth behind.

"Do you understand why I had you write that essay?" Bashfully, the thirteen year old stood in front of her, his eyes on her shoes.

"Yes, I think...you didn't want me to hurt myself or Jessica. If I had been paying attention, I wouldn't have added the ingredients wrong."

"Tomorrow, you will brew this potion again and I expect to see you focused. We all find ourselves distracted at times, but in this class it's just not an option. Do you understand?" Hermione handed his essay back, marked and cross-referenced with his textbook.

"Yes, ma'am."

"Now, go clean up for dinner, and apologize to Jessica Greenway for almost maiming her." He finally met her eyes, the hint of a joke at the end of her sentence. It was not Hermione's intention to scare Firth into hating her or her class, and she never wanted the reputation Severus' had had when she was a student.

When she made it to their quarters, she took off her robes and shoes, wishing she didn't have to go down to dinner. Resting on the sofa, she didn't hear Severus come through about an hour after her, and only noticed him when he his hands moved her feet from the sofa onto his lap and then resting on her calf muscle.

"Was it my imagination or did I see you at the door of my classroom earlier?" She asked, one eye opening and looking at him.

"You are not losing it, I was there." Shifting a bit onto her back, she enjoyed the gentle caress of his fingers against her legs.

"Do you think I was too hard on Malcolm?" She'd replayed her words to him, the initial ones when she'd thought he might destroy his station and his seat partner's work.

"No, not in the slightest. He was dawdling and too distracted by Miss Greenway. Perhaps next year, don't partner them together?"

"He needs to learn to control his emotions, she'll be his partner until he graduates if I have anything to say about it. Bloody hormones."

"Young Mr. Firth should be thanking Merlin that you are his professor and not me, I wouldn't have been so magnanimous." She shot him a look and kicked him lightly with her foot.

"I'm too soft, huh?"

"No, you're just a better teacher than I ever was." He pulled her up to him, moving some of her curls behind her ears, and staring into her eyes, amber eyes he could drown in.

"That's not true, I'm serving only one master and don't have students like poor Neville or Harry in my classes. You were an excellent teacher, just what we needed." He leaned forward and captured her lips in his, teasing her bottom lip as he did.

"You and your romantic heart."

"You love my romantic heart, as I recall." Capturing her again in a kiss, Hermione played with the hair at the base of his neck, wishing again that they didn't have to make an appearance at dinner.

"I suppose we need to go to the Great Hall." Her words barely formed as his hands found their way under her cotton top, the warmth of them against her cool skin caught her off guard.

"We have time still, unless you'd rather leave now?" She cocked her eyebrow mimicking his. In answer, she used her favorite button charm to remove his frock coat and cravat.

"Your move." She challenged.

Once testing was over and the students gone for another term, Hermione packed all of her work into her travel case, ready to leave for Bruges with Patrick and Severus as soon as they were ready. Stieg was meeting them for dinner the night before seminars were to start, so she wanted to get to the hotel and check in before they had to leave again, and hopefully avoid Piers Devon in the process who had sent her upwards of twelve letters concerning her presentation.

"Have you seen Professor Davenport?" Hermione asked Violet as she rounded the corner to his quarters.

"He's just gone to the owlery." Hermione thanked her and took waited for him at the bottom of the stairs.

"We're ready to leave when you are." She said as he stepped down the last step, his eyes a bit red. "Is everything alright?"

"Just a letter from my mother, she's, ugh, vacationing in Florence this year." Hermione didn't buy his story at all, but she didn't press the matter, they had certainly grown to be friends throughout the year, but she didn't want to encroach on his privacy. They continued in silence, meeting at the castle gates before taking the portkey to Bruges, checking into their rooms, and then walking to a quaint little restaurant two miles from the hotel to meet Stieg for dinner.

"Aren't you a sight." Stieg remarked as Hermione kissed his cheeks in greeting and sat next to him.

"How have you been? Patrick seems to hoard your letters." Severus sat across from her, his arms folded. This was the first time they'd seen each other since Stieg had been cured and old wounds were certainly reopened by the sour look on his face.

"Well enough, I've organized the archives so it can all be transfered to Hogwarts when you come to Romania again. I have to admit, it's been quiet without Patrick around, but he seems happier at Hogwarts."

"I am happier at Hogwarts." Patrick interjected, looking over the menu, his shoulders as taut and his eyes as taut as Severus'. In the right light, they could've been brothers.

"I see congratulations are in order, now that I can say them in person." Stieg reached for her hand where Hermione was finally able to wear her engagement ring with more frequency. Looking over to Patrick and Severus, Hermione saw that they were both unamused by Stieg, Severus she understood but not Patrick.

They ordered dinner, ate through one-sided conversation between Hermione and Stieg, discussing her theories about the history of the village his wife was from, and how they met. It was a lovely story which made Hermione wish she could've met Daniella and Sean Patrick.

"My parents visited Romania once with Unicef, before I was born...they did free dental work all over Europe. I wish they'd taken me with them to some of the places they visited, mostly it was just France." Stieg filled their wine and contemplated her words.

"You wouldn't have wanted to be in Romania during your childhood, it was a dark time. One Dark Lord traded for an evil muggle. When Patrick was born, we hid him for years. They had compulsory schooling for muggles and his parents didn't want them to conscript him before he could get to Durmstrang." Hermione's eyes drifted to Patrick, who was picking at his roasted cabbage and mushroom stew. It was clear how much Stieg loved his grandson, but Hermione could only see indifference in Patrick that evening. Finishing her fish, she excused herself to the washroom and found only Stieg when she returned.

"Where have they gone?"

"I sent them away, they weren't being nice, as it were. Here, I've ordered you a pastry." He pulled out the seat for her.

"Why do I feel like you have something to tell me?" A shadow passed over him as she folded her napkin across her lap. "Has something happened with the potion? Is it back?" Hermione's heart started beating rapidly as she scanned his face, his hands, his eyes. He seemed so incredibly sad.

"No, no dear, it is not back, I am still clear...there is nothing to tell." His lie was evident before it left his lips.

"Nothing? It doesn't seem like nothing. Did Severus say something? Patrick has been cross since we left Hogwarts." Pushing her fork through the pastry, she couldn't manage to bring it to her lips.

"Hermione, it's nothing, I promise the disease has not returned. Severus did not say anything more than I deserved and Patrick, well, his mother gave him some bad news today that I will let him divulge. Enjoy your pastry, it's a gorgeous night and I am sitting with a lovely young woman." She didn't want to drop it, she knew he was still lying to her, but to make the rest of dinner comfortable, she ate her pastry and tried not to analyze everything about his words and his person.

They walked together back to the hotel, Hermione as quiet as Severus and Patrick had been, absolutely sure Stieg would reveal some terrible news at any moment, but he didn't. He bent down to kiss her cheeks goodnight and she walked quietly to her room with Severus.

"Severus?" She called out as she walked into their suite, not seeing him the sitting room or restroom. Going into the bedroom, she found him completely passed out on the bed, covers drawn up tight. She freshened up before settling in next to him, nervous for the next day and worried about Stieg, not realizing that Severus wasn't actually asleep and had pretended well enough to lull her to sleep.

She was too nervous to eat breakfast in the restaurant, so Hermione went to the conference room and set up her presentation, the copies of her work ready and collated for all the people who'd signed up to attend. It was clear to her that once she published all of her data, this conference essay, she'd be giving up a huge part of her life to the masses, to their scrutiny and questions. The patent had arrived the week before, thankfully, it was one more boon for her as she waited to bare her soul, the baby she'd gestated for over three years.

"Can we get you anything, Professor Granger, Hermione?" Piers Devon strolled into the conference room, his height always catching her off guard as well as his devilish smile.

"No, I'm all set, but thank you." He reached for her hand, taking it and kissing it as he normally did, watching her as he did. They were almost the same height as she stood on the stage, which felt odd for her since she normally felt short around most men.

"As usual, I was delighted to receive your work and to hear you've achieved your mastery. Quite a year for you." She felt herself involuntarily blush, taking her hand back and returning to her notes.

"I've transfigured a door here, for you to exit. I know they'll hound you otherwise." Hermione was thankful for his foresight.

"That was quite thoughtful, Piers, thank you. I don't mind taking a few questions, but last time it was hours and I don't want to interrupt any of the other seminars."

"Who would mind when you've cured a disease? Really, Hermione. I would gladly miss my own seminar to hear more about this and they will as well." Her blush spread, but finally calmed when other participants came into the conference room; scanning the room, she found Patrick, Stieg, and Severus. Stieg looked just as pleased to see her as the day before, but Patrick and Severus still looked perturbed. Once all the seats were filled, Hermione began, detailing her initial potion that extended the initial potion and then how she came to make the cure. She didn't mention names of the patients of course, but she did give credit to Stieg, who smiled at her like a proud father from the audience, for all of the research he'd already completed by the time she had taken over the project. When she gave the data for the fifty people who had been cured, she noted several audible gasps, those people had obviously not read the actual synopsis of her lecture. When she came to the end, she thanked Stieg, Patrick, and Severus, and opened the floor for questions, which she capped at twenty before leaving through the door Piers had made for her, knowing she would have to pack up when the room was vacated. Although she was happy to have shared her work, she felt as though she could vomit at any moment.

"You were brilliant!" Stieg declared, taking both her hands in his and kissing them softly, his striking blue eyes filled with admiration and a sort of fatherly love for her.

"They asked so many questions, the review board didn't even do that. I felt like an idiot." Severus and Patrick came to stand behind Severus, both looking slightly more pleasant than when they'd been sitting in the room.

"I have to go back in and pack up, meet for lunch?" She kissed his cheeks then waved to the other two, Severus following her into the room.

"Oh good, will you grab my copies? Piers wants to send them to the people who had to cancel." He nodded and helped her pack everything up, stopping only when she seemed completely calm. When she turned to leave, he caught her taking her in his arms, a worried look on his face.

"Severus? What has happened? You and Patrick both seem so odd." He kissed her hard, a yearning she recognized from him immediately.

"It's Stieg, he doesn't want me to tell you or at least not before your presentation, he's…" Severus couldn't find the words, he worried she wouldn't understand. He knew telling her would be folly, but he couldn't go another moment waiting, making himself sick knowing how upset she would be.

"What, please? I've been ill about this since last night."

"He's decided to end his life." Hermione pulled immediately from his arms, horrified, images of her father filling her brain, then guilt immediately set to in.

"Why? I've cured him, he's alive and free for the first time in decades, why would he want to end his life?" She fell to the floor, her legs giving, and just as she fell, her tears did as well. Her heart burst, she didn't understand, she would never understand. Even though none of them had planned it, the Davenports had become family and she couldn't possibly imagine her life without them now.

"He has his reasons."

"That's not good enough!" Pulling her legs to her chest, Hermione wrapped her arms around them and cried against her knees, not worrying about the sound if it made Severus uncomfortable. How could Severus be so blasé?

"Stieg had always been a complex man, Hermione, I'm sure he will explain himself to you, not that he need to, it's his decision." He realized as soon as he said it that his words were poorly chosen, that he would only make her more upset. For the first time in their knowledge of each other, Hermione looked upon him with such a face he was immediately terrified of her actions.

"Damn you and him, you lot make people love you and then you shit on them." She swore under her breath, returning to her tears. The door peeked open but Piers closed it as soon as he saw them, Severus cutting him his own special brand of scowl. When he heard the door click again, he took a seat next to Hermione, his feet inches from where Hermione was curled into a ball, crying.

"Hermione…"He reached for her, his fingers barely touching her hair, but she shoved him away, wiping her eyes momentarily, her face quite puffy.

"It's not how we do things, we don't just take our lives, he has so much life left, so many years." She wasn't really talking directly to Severus, just aloud, just to express herself through her tears. It felt as though every good things she'd ever done in her life was being compromised, that the bad things now outweighed everything- that karma was taking another lovely being from her life, even though she knew it wasn't her fault, she took the blame. Curling her arms tighter around her legs, she shook violently against them as she cried, wishing her father was still alive, wishing she could relieve Stieg of his pain, and in such a pit of fear that someday Severus would come to the same disastrous conclusion made her weep harder, her breath catching a few times when she tried to stop.

"I cannot speak for him."He finally said. When it was clear that Severus was not going to try and comfort her at all, Hermione wiped her eyes again and blew her nose, standing on her shaky legs, smoothing her dress and robes, she grabbed her case. The door slammed behind her as she went through to their room, wanting to bury herself beneath her blankets and sleep for the rest of the day. Instead, she washed her face, studying the redness of her eyes. It was no wonder Patrick had been so upset and she knew the entire story about Anastasia had been a ruse. She heard the door open, he couldn't give her a moment alone.

"Severus, please just give me some time, I…" But as she came out of the bathroom, she saw Stieg, and without a second thought, she launched herself at him, her arms wrapped tightly around him as her tears started...she wasn't sure how it had happened, but her attachment to Stieg was amplified. When she pulled away, his dark blue eyes twinkled at her, whether it was the trick of lights or he simply felt the endearment she felt for him, it didn't matter; for a moment, he looked happy.

"Yes, Severus found me...I wish he hadn't said anything just yet, I wanted to tell you tomorrow." Hermione shook against him, she couldn't explain exactly the depth of her sadness, to know his soul was so tortured that he wanted to die, to end his life.

"How can you want this? What about Patrick? How can you even consider it?" Her questions flew at him in a garbled mess, as he led her to the sofa, taking one of her hands in his.

"Hermione, please, calm down...I'm eighty-eight years old, I've lived and some of those years, well, you know what I've done, it's not secret between us now. My Daniella is gone and Sean Patrick, and Patrick is settled at Hogwarts with you and Severus. Being cured only exacerbated my pitiful life and Patrick knows the terrible things I said and did, he's accepted my choice." His eyes were vacant, as blank as Severus' when he was lost in thought or trapped with guilt. All she wanted was to take his pain away, but he seemed eerily calm about it all.

"What about his future? You would take his only relative aside from his terrible mother away? What about his children? They won't have a grandfather...I'm an only child, too, you know and my parents are dead. If Severus and I ever have children, they'll have no grandparents...how could you voluntarily do that to Patrick?" Her eyes felt dry, even though she was still crying. Stieg looked as close to tears as she imagined he would get, his brilliant blue eyes boring into her as her fingers traveled over the hand she held.

"He understands why I want this, dear, it's not as uncommon as you think and not something I've thought of only recently. It was my goal to find someone to complete the research, to pass the torch, and I did...you've far surpassed every goal I set. You see me through rose-coloured glasses, Hermione, but I have been a despicable man most of my life, it's time to stop hurting people. I'm practically dead already, I have been for years." She let go of his hand to pull her hair back, using her hands like a five year old to wipe her eyes in the process, suddenly feeling foolish for crying over him or anyone.

"You're being selfish."

"I am selfish, I have always cared more about myself than others…"

"That's not true, you cared enough about your son to try and find a cure, to protect him. None of those people downstairs had any idea you or he were infected...that's not selfish, Stieg. And for me, look what you've done for me. I don't believe you, I think you are taking the easy way out, you don't want to live now that you can have a life, you're as bad as Severus was when he realized he hadn't died during the war. Both of you, stubborn and selfish. I will tell you exactly what I told him, you both invite people into your lives and we love you and then you leave us...we are left to put things back together." He petulantly folded his arms, his eyes glowing with an anger and fear she had only seen once before.

"Hermione, you have no idea the things I've done, you think Severus walked a fine line between honor and service, the evil things we did as a product of some madman, but I guarantee you that my sins are far worse than anything you can imagine. When I say I don't want to live, it's not because of some maudlin depression, some mark on my soul- I have no soul or rather if I do, it's so black you wouldn't know that's what it was. And though there has been some happiness this last year, I find that nothing makes me feel quite alive, that's why it doesn't matter, even if you or Patrick feel sympathy or even empathy for me, I'm not alive and I haven't been for decades. When you've done what I have, nothing fills the void." Hermione's tears were falling harder than she could push them away as she stared at the broken man, his eyes were as blank as when Severus spoke to her about his time in service of the Dark Lord, blank like a shark.

"You are alive, though, and you could find meaning again, I promise. So I don't know the exact details of the years you served the Dark Lord, it doesn't mean I can't fill in the blanks and yet I am still here, trying to prove to you that you are worthy, that you have purpose, that you are needed." But she saw no change in him, except a deep breath exhaled and his hands falling from their folded position at his chest to his sides.

"Unlike Severus, I served more than just the Dark Lord, I served Grindelwald, a much more fearsome beast and my tenure with him was far worse than anything Tom Riddle could devise. Do you know what it feels like to have so much power over a person, without imperio, that you can bend them to your will, that you can make hurt themselves with a simple word or flick of the wand, I know that feeling and it is electrifying. I still crave that feeling, bending someone to my will, I did it with Severus. Those tattoos, most of them are covering scars I gave him through cohersion. When he was obstinate, which was often, I commanded him to hurt himself, he was already weak, inclined to self-harm, it was so easy. And I will not lie to you, even though I can see that what I am saying is hurting you; I enjoyed breaking him, at least what was left. Do you know what it feels like to break someone, Hermione? The ultimate power you possess, knowing that with pressure, you could literally break them, their bones. Has Severus ever told you how I broke all of the fingers on his left hand? No, pity, he should've because I'm sure it still causes him trouble. And not to mention all of the other things we did once he was broken, once I'd convinced him that being a baddie was more than just the exaltation or accomplishment of power. His parents did him no favors, they often ruined my work, especially his pitiful father who thought giving Severus a beating would teach him anything- no, Severus learns far better through manipulation, it took me a while to learn that but when I did, it was like having my very own marionette doll, bending to will." He paused catching his breath and watching as Hermione listened in horror, reminding her of the night she cured him the vitriol he spewed then so similar and offensive.

"I do not deserve your pity, your empathy, your kind words, and I certainly don't understand what has compelled you to think I would. Yes, we share Severus, his enlightened life, but Hermione, even with years and changes, I will always be a cruel person who wants to possess people, including you, and nothing you say or do can alter that terrible truth." Wiping her eyes, Hermione turned from him, sighing and trying to catch her breath, the brutality of his words made her hurt.

"You are right, you can be a terrible person, but just because you can be doesn't mean you are. We all of us have a dark side; I have in fact felt someone's bones break beneath my touch and you know what, it was glorious. I had lost my virginity to him,and he lost the use of his hand, clever that we both used the same method to subdue someone. If he hadn't taken advantage of the lust potion, who knows if I would've ever tapped into that facet of my personality, the pressure and pleasure...but that doesn't define me and it doesn't have to define you. You can sit there and tell me about every person you've killed, every terrible thing you've done to the man I love, and though it does give me a rather bleak view of you, it doesn't alter my belief that you can come back from it, you can live a different life, and you have. You can be redeemed." Taking a quick breath, Hermione stepped forward and tentatively put her hands on his shoulders, pushing her positive energy towards him, enveloping them in her aura, a cloud of yellow forcing him to look into her eyes, almost electric the yellow spread, Hermione's patronus appeared without casting a spell and played happily around them. Finally, she projected images from her memory, images of Stieg's family, she and Severus enjoying a day together, every happy memory she possessed, and she finally saw his lip turn up, his eyes brighten and the facade of a bitter old man fade.

"Hermione...what have you done?"

"I've given you all that I can in this moment...if you still want to end your life, do it but I have shown you that there are people who care and who would be…" But she couldn't finish her sentence, instead she let go of him, and held herself, her magic clearly spent for the moment. Annoyance and anger filled her as she was now completely devoid of her happiness having used all of it to persuade him.

She folded her arms like a petulant child and then stood. "I'm going for a walk." Taking her bag and wand, she left the room and him on the couch, passing Patrick and Severus on their way to lunch, not looking at either of them as she walked, hearing Patrick call for her, but she couldn't look at him. Instead, trying to stop her tears, she walked the city, contemplating his words and knowing without a doubt that she could not support him.

SSHGSSHG

Meandering through the town, she saw people all around in happy couplehood or families out for delicious waffles or ice cream, it made her feel better to see the happy people. Buying a stroopwafel from a delightful man with a cart, she sat near a bridge and watched the small boats go by, young people in canoes and children sending paper boats down as well. She didn't want to return to the hotel, but she knew she had to, though she took the long way back. When she caught her reflection in the glass near the hotel doors, she saw that the puffiness had receded slightly and finally, she felt that no more tears could possibly come. Checking her pocket watch, she found it was time for dinner, so she walked into the restaurant and found them sharing some wine. They didn't speak when she sat down, just poured her a glass, though she knew it was a bad idea to drink it.

"How did Devon's presentation go?" She asked, finding her voice again.

"Better than expected, he remembered his talking points this year." She almost smiled, nibbling on a breadstick before finishing her first glass of wine, Stieg ready to pour another. A wild hair struck her as the music played, so she stood, reaching her hand out to Patrick.

"Dance with me?" He didn't hesitate, he wanted away from the table as much as she did, taking her shaking hand in his and pulling her closer than he would've ever thought to under any other circumstance. Even though the song was faster than the rate at which they were dancing, Hermione didn't care, she felt his hand at her waist, slowly pulling her closer to him the more they moved on the dance floor, until her arms were folded around his neck, his around her waist. Anyone who looked upon them, aside from her fiance and his grandfather, would've thought they were in-love; but they weren't, they were two people devastated.

"Please tell me you don't support this." She finally whispered against him, her head resting against his cheek, her eyes closed as he turned them.

"Of course not, he's an old fool, thank goodness you have sense to see how idiotic this is. I've been waiting for him to tell you so you can help me convince him not to do it." She pulled her face away from his, seeing the same desperation in his eyes as she'd seen in hers before, but then returned her cheek to his, trying to let herself be comforted by him. It made her wonder how Patrick had ended up so bashful or introverted when Stieg and Anastasia were so extroverted and out-going, so eager to meet new people and make friends. Her mind whirled and she wondered what Sean Patrick had been like, had he been bashful and reserved like his son or more outgoing and effervescent like Anastasia? Lost in thought, she suddenly remembered why she was dancing with Patrick in the first place; Stieg wanted to die. They danced for three songs before Hermione finally said:

"I'll do whatever it takes, Patrick." She hugged him tightly as the music stopped and then returned to the table, feeling incredibly light in comparison to when she'd first sat down, knowing she had at least one ally. Immediately, she saw the jealousy in Severus. The waiter brought more wine and Hermione drank, all concern disappearing the more she consumed, each drop erasing the pain she felt each time she looked at Stieg. They were an interesting table, three generations of people drinking and not talking about the issue they needed to be. Hermione decided to enjoy her time with Stieg for as long as she could, so she baited him to tell her stories about his life, soaking in his words like the wine coursing through her veins. When they went to their rooms, Hermione felt the fight in Severus from his fingertips as he guided her into the room.

"You shouldn't have disappeared into the city."

"I can take care of myself, you know." She snapped back, though he hadn't raised his voice to her. He could hear the alcohol in her voice.

"You also shouldn't toy with Patrick either, he's just as much a romantic as you…" She immediately cut him off.

"Are you jealous? He comforted me, he understands why I'm upset and even if you disagree, you could've tried. I'm human, Severus, I need you to tell me things are going to be okay sometimes even if they're not, I need you to hold me even if you think it'll kill you to do it. I don't ask for it often, but I sure as hell could've used it today." She threw her bag on the table and removed her shoes, tossing them into her trunk. The wine had made her face blush again, she noted as she looked in the mirror.

"I think this all boils down to one thing; would you do this, Severus? Would you take your life and leave behind someone like Patrick?"

"Hermione, hypotheticals won't make you feel better."

"I'm an optimist, hypotheticals fulfill my every determined thought. Answer my question." She stood across from him, her arms folded exactly like his, daring him to sneer at her.

"If I had lived the life that he has lived, perhaps. He has made his decision and your tears and pleas to Patrick will not change his mind. Why boil yourself into this rage for nothing?" He finally sat on the sofa, folding one leg rapidly over the other, obviously annoyed with her.

"Would you expect any less of me, to stop fighting for something I believe in...would you want me to let you do this? Honestly, Severus, would you want me to just let you..." Her voice broke but she didn't cry, her eyes were dried up because they'd already been in this situation and she had saved him when he hadn't, at the time, wanted to be saved. "If we had a son who died and all that was left of him was his own son, would you leave him alone in the world?"

"Patrick has his mother."

"Anastasia is not a mother, she's a pathetic excuse for one if you believe she is. Answer me, would you leave a grandson to walk alone, on purpose?" Hermione was shaking, if he said yes she didn't know if she could marry him. It was one thing to be suffering a terrible pain, a disease and want relief, it was another to be perfectly healthy and want to end a life.

"We don't have children, Hermione, it makes it infinitely more difficult to even surmise what decisions I would make." Evasion.

"It's really not that difficult, Severus. If you were dying and asked me to help you die, that would be one thing, but this is something else entirely." It was as though it finally clicked for him when she added, "Imagine Alby, a grown man and you're telling him you are going to take your life...imagine how he would feel, and that blessed child is surrounded by love. Now, imagine Patrick, he has no one and Stieg is going to…" But she couldn't finish her sentence, Severus was crushing her in a hug, desperately clinging to her as though they'd been separated by distance and time. Something had finally broken in Severus and even though he despised Stieg most of the time, seeing his future wife so completely torn apart opened a gate of emotion he could no longer hide.

"I could not, I would not do that." He finally said lowly against in her ear, trying to calm her as she trembled.

"I have to stop him." She wrenched away from him and removed her dress, brushing her teeth, and crawling into bed, exhausted and sure if she ever did sleep, she'd probably have the worst dreams, ones similar to those she'd had during the war. Severus eventually joined her, resting an arm across her waist.

"I told him things this afternoon that I've never told anyone and he told me things, I don't know why I'm trying, but I am. That's who I am, Severus, I am a person who will always try, even if the odds are bad or failure seems imminent. And, I'm sorry I said you shit on people, I didn't mean it. " Her face turned to face him for a moment, her eyes welled with tears that wouldn't fall. His eyebrow was raised, she knew admitting there were things in her past that he didn't know would make him curious.

"I know you didn't. Get some sleep, I'm sure you need to be battle ready in the morning." He moved forward and kissed her goodnight, moving his arm from her waist to her braid, his fingers going through her hair like he did every night. It took only minutes for her to finally fall asleep and thankfully, she had no dreams that night, but felt incredible pain when she woke in the morning, smashed up against Severus, holding him so tight he couldn't have slept long.

SSHGSSHG

After packing everything, Hermione and Severus met Patrick and Stieg for breakfast; it was as stilted and awkward as it had been before, as though the gentle truce they'd made the night before was being ignored. Before departing from Bruges to Hogwarts, Hermione watched Patrick and Severus walk before she and Stieg, as though he'd read her mind, Severus pretended to engage Patrick in idle discussion, which was the least of his favorite pastimes. Once she had him pulled away, Hermione turned to Stieg and placed her hand gently on his arm.

"Can you give me six months?" Her voice was meek, her eyes pleading. "I want to convince you there's so much more for you to live for, truly live. Six months, that's all I ask."

"Hermione, I was appalling towards you and that is only a taste of what I am capable of...why would you want me to stick around?" Hermione's eyes immediately moved to Patrick, who looked as miserable as she felt, and then back to him, knowing that she had romanticized Stieg as much as she had Severus. They were not entirely good men, they weren't particularly kind most of the time and had tendency to self-loathing that she would never understand, but they were still worth saving, they were both worth redemption.

"Maybe I'm just not willing to let you go now that I know the real you and neither is your grandson. No one deserves to leave the world as scarred and hurting as you are, not if they can help it, and I don't intend to let you. And now, I feel like you belong with us, you're family. Let me convince you, please, six months." Looking up at him, Hermione saw the wheels turning, the faint smile on his lips, and for the first time since the whole business had been brought up, relief. Something in her words had finally sunk in, she could see that his would agree.

"Fine, but I am telling you now, you're only prolonging the inevitable." Shaking wildly against him in a hug, Hermione kissed both his cheeks and took his arm as they walked to Severus and Patrick, still talking about Hogwarts business. Patrick stepped aside so she could stand next to Severus as they apparated back to Hogwarts, then watched as his grandfather apparated to Romania.

"You seem quite chipper." Severus' deep voice rang in her ear she they landed outside of the gates.

"He agreed to six months...so now I just have to figure out a way to convince him that his life is worth staying." Patrick looked as though he might cry, but pulled himself together as she looked between them.

"Patrick, I'll need your help. My first thought was to move him here." Severus cocked an eyebrow. "Not here, to Hogsmeade and involve him in something that will keep him busy...potions, research, another cause? What do you think?" She stumbled over her foot as they went through the gates, her mind obviously lost to her task.

"Archiving? He is incredibly interested in history and historical documents, I mean you've seen the archive. Maybe we can get a space to move all his material?"

"Yes, and move all the Black family material that Harry has been trying to rid at Grimmauld Place since he became owner. Brilliant." Both men could see that she was determined as she walked ahead of them, so quickly she passed professors offering greetings and said nothing, winding her way down to her and Severus's quarters, where Minka was delighted to see her. Going straight to her desk, she wrote to Stieg, who she assumed would be home, and told him she'd be around in July to collect his archiving material but really needed his help organizing it. She then wrote a quick missive to Harry, who she wanted to warn before they showed up for James' third birthday, to have his materials ready for her to transfer. Lastly, she made a reservation with Madame Rosmerta at the Three Broomsticks so she could discuss real estate and a potential residency for Stieg if she could convince him to come to Hogsmeade. Absolutely besotted with herself and Patrick's quick thinking, Hermione didn't notice Severus come in or place his things in their bedroom, take a seat on the sofa and begin going through his correspondence; it wasn't until she finished her daydreaming that she finally saw him sitting across from her desk, lost in thought as she had been, but for the first time in a while, far more foreboding and severe than she'd seen him in months.

"Join me for dinner? I'm walking to Hogsmeade." But he it took him a moment to register that she'd spoken to him at all, his own mind as lost in thought as hers had been. When he finally met her gaze, she could see he was in no mood for a dinner in public, so she decided to go on her own.

"Eat something, at least." Kissing his cheek, she changed her shoes and went down the long pathway into the village stopping only for a moment to admire some particularly beautiful plants in front of Madame Malkins shop, then going into the Three Broomsticks were Rosmerta was waiting. They had pleasant conversation and it was settled quickly that Stieg would be able to stay there in the best lodgings they had until a flat could be arranged and that there were two store fronts that could be converted to a book shop or storage quite easily, depending on whether they wanted a business venture or simply to house things. It struck Hermione that if her plan actually succeeded, not only would she save him from, in her opinion, a terrible fate, but she would bring him closer to his grandson and possibly family when Patrick got married at some point. Finishing her firewhiskey, she thanked Rosmerta for her company, paid, and walked back to the castle, Severus nowhere to be found and only a small candle burning in their quarters. When she looked to the ominous stack of post on her desk, she sighed and decided to worry about it in the morning, more concerned about her fiance than mail. At some point in the night, he came in and fell into bed, fully clothed, waking her as he did.

"Want to talk about it?" She asked, rubbing her eyes and rolling towards him.

"We're getting another hundred new students in Autumn, on top of our normal allotment. Apparently the raids and other issues concerning Durmstrang have scared off more students and parents."

"It went very well this year and you did remarkably helping them find a home here, you'll do the same again. Filius needs an assistant, you can advertise but I bet Luna would come back, she and Rolf are coming back from Tanzania for the Potter birthday party, so you can speak with her." Reaching over to him, Hermione placed her hand on the one he had at his chest, tugging at his cravat and unbuttoning his frock coat.

"Thank you." The timber of his voice made her sad, he seemed completely dejected, which he rarely did, his voice normally betraying none of his actual feelings.

"For what?"

"Your optimism. Bjorn is disgruntled about his students leaving, but until things are settled in that part of the world, the students can choose to come here or to Beauxbatons. His letters are laced with insults, as though I am actively in his territory, recruiting." Running his thumb across her palm, he suddenly stilled and turned to her.

"Let him have righteous indignation, we know the truth. His reputation is so besmirched, no one would believe you were actively recruiting students away from Durmstrang when we are at the highest allotment we've had since the first war and it's only going to climb with all the survivors of the second having so many children. The castle has room, the professors all have assistant teachers or will, and we will have more funds due to enrollment; we'll make it work, I promise." He pulled her close, his chin resting on her head and she wrapped her arms around his waist.

"I should've gone to dinner with you." Grinning, Hermione thought of her plans for Stieg.

"You should've, Rosmerta had fresh scallops. I've taken temporary lodging for Stieg there and I am meeting with a realtor tomorrow to look at two spaces, one has potential for commercial use as well as storage, I don't know what it would be, but it's something to keep him occupied should he decide to stay." She could practically feel his lip curl and his eyes roll.

"Do not let yourself get too optimistic, he mind is not so easily changed."

"You cannot celebrate my optimism and then challenge it, you know. I am merely providing him with an alternative; if he decides...if he...I can lease the space for six months." The immediate sting of tears hit her, but she didn't wallow, she wiped them and pulled away, bringing her mouth to his, languishing there as though it was the last kiss they would ever share. "I have to convince him, I can't lose another person like this." The question was obvious across his face when she pulled away and looked into them, swimming in his obsidian eyes as she was wont to do.

"What do you mean?" The immediate scowl and question on his face told her he didn't know about her parents or the truth surrounding her father's death.

"After the war, when my mother was killed, my father took his life, I thought you knew." And then, as though the world's axis shifted, he understood why she couldn't let it go and why she wanted so desperately to save Stieg. It struck him that she was just as abandoned in the world as he, though was much better at forming relationships and a family than he was. Wrapping her tightly again, he kissed her forehead softly and said, "I thought they were killed in a car accident, that's what Potter said."

"No, my mother was hit by a drunk driver on her way to the market, and my father, he just couldn't handle it...I guess having a witch for a daughter, sending them to Australia, taking their memories, and then when she died, he just…I haven't told Stieg, I don't want him to think I'm only doing this because I've lost my father." While she'd spoken, he'd cupped her face in his hands, willing her to look at him and not be embarrassed .

"He would be moved by this, I think. I'm not saying this to be crass, but it is something you should use when it seems like all hope is lost."

"Slytherin tactics."

"True, but I would've understood you immediately had you told me this." He nipped her lips as he finished his words, pulling her as close to him as he could.

"I thought you knew, it makes sense now that you didn't." Curling against him again, she closed her eyes and let him play in her hair, smooth it from her face and ears, and then she was asleep, dreaming about the sweet little girl she who looked more and more like herself as a child. Hermione had to believe people could be redeemed, that her father could have been saved, that Severus was saved.


	18. Chapter 18

**AN: I've played with Teddy's age and also his relationship with the Potter's since the beginning, hope you all forgive me but I needed him to be a year older and for his relationship with the Potters and Hermione/Severus to be stronger. No major warnings for this chapter aside from continued conversation regarding suicide/senicide and one intimate scene. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

 **Chapter 18**

After meeting with the two landlords, Hermione decided to let the space with the commercial space in case any of them wanted to turn the space into an actual apothecary or book shop. It was also incredibly suited to their needs because it had lodgings, two apartments. The lease was six months with an option to buy and gave Hermione the immediate knot in her stomach she was sure it might. Although as a colleague, she understood why she wanted Stieg Davenport around; he was a fount of knowledge and experience and between the three of them, Hermione, Severus, and Stieg, no potion research had most likely gone untouched. But, it wasn't his knowledge or experience that made Hermione's heart break when she thought of him taking his life, something about him had endeared himself so completely to Hermione that she couldn't possibly give up on him. It wasn't just losing her own father or thinking about losing another person to the effects of the war, it was more than that and she couldn't quite put it into words.

Taking her copy of the lease back to Hogwarts, she packed a few things and looked around the quarters she shared with Severus and recalled a time when she didn't; the longing need, the constant worry. It worried her that in all the years she'd been at Hogwarts, there seemed to always be something to challenge her or make her anxious, while a student and as a professor. Was it always an outside impetus or was she prone to anxiety, she wondered, shrinking her presents for James into her beaded bag, ignoring the mail again for the comfort of her sofa. Severus would stroll in at noon and they'd leave for Grimmauld Place and James' third birthday. Looking back at her desk, the frame of pictures barely visible amongst the mail, she saw the most recent images of James and Albus, their sweet faces so much an amalgamation of Harry and Ginny, her sensibilities got the best of her and her eyes misted, thinking that perhaps she might never be able to change Stieg's mind or Severus' regarding children. Even though she felt like her plan to give Stieg an occupation, to put him around witches and wizards again, the stone in her stomach told her that he was as stubborn as Severus had warned her and that her machinations might be completely futile. Wishing she could get a handle on her emotions, she went to the washroom and splashed her face, how many times had she cried in the month? Walking immediately to her mail, Hermione found the reminder for her appointment with her gynecologist to remove her IUD, ten years had passed and it was time. The subject needed to be broached with Severus and she just didn't have it in her to bring it up while she was so emotional, so she tucked the letter in her pocket and made a mental note for the appointment. Perhaps the waning hormones from the IUD were wreaking havoc on her mind and body, or perhaps it was simply everything that had already happened that summer; either way, Hermione longed to feel like herself again.

"Are you ready to leave?" She heard from the door, Severus walking through almost soundlessly, until his voice broke the silence.

"Yes, now that you've made my heart race." Changing from his frock coat into appropriate clothing for a barbeque, Severus followed Hermione out of the castle to the gates where they apparated to the stoop of Grimmauld Place, greeting the Potters with open arms. It took Hermione no time to find her happy place again, to feel the barge resting on her back lift and make it possible for her to breath easily, at least for the afternoon. She played with the boys, helping James blow bubbles with his new toy from his Uncle Ron and then reading to him from the dragon books his Uncle Charlie had sent from Romania, before they ate cake, then took Albus upstairs for his nap and found that just watching him sleep made her optimism return. A child had little concern and knowing how freely and easily they loved, she formulated a plan; she would be sure that when Harry brought the Black papers to the new archive, he would have to bring the children, they would help influence the part of Stieg that had relished being a grandfather. The Potter boys did look remarkably like his own son and grandson, so it made sense to her that he might have some nostalgic feelings if he spent time with him; it was definitely a gamble, but Hermione hoped it would work.

Later that evening, after the kids were asleep and Teddy and Severus were two games into chess, Hermione laid everything out for Ginny and Harry regarding Stieg. Absolutely every detail, from the beginning, everything she knew about his time with Severus and Voldemort, all the research, and how she'd come to esteem him. Her tears came when she told them that he wanted to end his life and how she'd talked him into giving them six months, because Harry had been really surprised by her letter about the archival material that the Black family had left in the basement.

"So my plan is to get him involved in the community there, to find new colleagues or contacts for his brewing, or at least his research. I believe if he made a friend or even saw Patrick more, he'd want to forego his...choice...I mean, he's already put it off once, he can't be that serious." Ginny and Harry exchanged a look.

"Hermione, what if he is and he's just humoring you, you are rather persuasive and intimidating." Ginny remarked, putting her hand on Harry's arm, trying not to sound cruel.

"I can't think about that right now; if I focus on that, everything else will crumble and I'm barely holding it together, honestly." They were both unnerved by her admission, both knowing that she had been stressed about finishing her mastery project and balancing work, her project, and her personal life, they hadn't realized how affected she really was. Ginny walked to the kitchen, grabbing the wine and glasses for them before checking on Teddy and the boys.

"Here, drink this...it's infused." Harry poured Hermione a drink, almost spilling some on the table as he did. "Look, you know I'll help, I've actually read his file at the Ministry already, you're right, he's done some things...but he was cleared, just as Severus and Draco were. It may make less sense to others, but with your parents gone, I get it." As soon as the wine touched her lips, Hermione knew it had some calming draught in it, and it made her feel lighter, as though she was floating above the table and Harry as he spoke.

"It's just, I think I worry that someday Severus will feel the same and somehow saving Stieg means saving him." Harry almost couldn't handle the pain in Hermione's voice, her heart practically bleeding on the table before them as Ginny came back into the room.

"You cannot think that way, though...their decisions and choices aren't yours. I know that's not what you want to hear, but it's true. I think that's the part you cannot handle, you cannot control them or make them value life as much as you do...though I wouldn't be lumping your future husband into that, he seems happy, for him at least." Ginny argued, sitting next to Hermione this time and forcing her to look at her.

"I know you're right, but…" Her voice faltered as Severus and Teddy came into the dining room from the library, both wide-eyed upon seeing Hermione upset. Wiping her eyes quickly, she held her arms out to Teddy, so much taller than she remembered.

"Are you excited to come to Hogwarts this year?" She asked him, ruffling his hair and pulling him tight.

"Yes, though I wish I was going to have you for potions, what is Professor Davenport like?" His hazel eyes looked worried, almost like her own for a moment.

"He's wonderful, you'll love him. He loves quidditch like you and his dad was a werewolf just like yours. Would you like to meet him before term starts? I could invite him over."

"Sure, thanks, Aunt Hermione."

"But, don't tell anyone about his dad, okay, unlike yours no one knew he was a werewolf and it might cause some problems." She watched him nod, his face morphing into a smile quite like Remus's, almost frighteningly so. "So, who won?" She finally looked to Severus, who was sitting next to Harry, trying some of the wine.

"Severus beat me twice."

"But you almost won the last round." Severus tipped his glass at him, making Teddy wonder how long it would take for Severus to notice that the wine was laced with a calming draught.

"Will you play me at Hogwarts or is that kind of thing against the rules?" They all looked to Severus, interested to see how he would respond. The pensive look on Severus' face reminded Hermione of her student days, when Severus had been playing a constricting role, one orchestrated by two masterminds who controlled him; she longed for him to remain free of that pressure, and when he finally answered Teddy, she could see that he was enjoying himself with Teddy and the Potters.

"Although it is not typical for the headmaster to play games with students, especially first years, I don't see why a friendly game every now and then would be inappropriate; although, you should know it won't help your image with your classmates to be a known associate of mine." Giggling broke out as he said associates.

"Why would that bother me?" His sweet and kind nature shown through, he was truly his parents' child.

"And that is why you will most likely be in Hufflepuff house." Severus added, refilling his wine, eyeing Hermione's puffy eyes, her arm tight around Teddy's shoulders. For a moment, even if it was beyond his capabilities, he wished he could freeze the moment, whisk her away and help her find relief. Teddy gave them all hugs except Severus, whose hand he shook, and then ran up the stairs.

" Stieg is coming at the end of the week, can you bring the papers on Friday? Here's the address." Hermione handed the paper to Harry, who was becoming quite tipsy from the wine.

"You've been roped in, too, ehhh Potter?" Severus sloshed, as intoxicated as she'd ever heard him and as calm, the slightest crimson hinting around his cheeks.

"Yes, I told Hermione she was intimidating."

"There aren't words, but we don't love her less for it." Severus stammered back, finishing his wine, looking as calm as Harry felt hearing his former professor, the man who'd saved his life many times, admit freely to all of them that he loved Hermione. Although it had been obvious for years, hearing him actually say it made Harry feel the words he'd said to Hermione earlier were true; Severus was happy, saved as she'd put it. He watched Hermione looking at Severus, her eyes swimming with tears of happiness, he assumed, from the day, and then turned to his wife.

"Ginny, why aren't you drinking with us?" Suddenly, Harry's face was red, redder than it had been and he laughed loudly, almost startling Severus who was to his right.

"We were going to tell everyone at our birthday celebration, but since you always figure it out any way, we're expecting." Hermione immediately drank the rest of her wine as Harry poured them all another, and they toasted, and though she could feel herself a bit jealous, she also felt happiness she couldn't describe.

"Congratulations! That's brilliant news, the best news." Even Severus looked happy for them, which was most likely due to the wine, as he put a stiff hand on Harry's shoulder, it finally relaxed after a moment as Hermione beamed with joy at their news.

"I'm due in February, so we'll have a winter baby this time." Hermione threw her arms around Ginny and then walked over to Harry, who she couldn't believe had kept it from her all evening, he was always first to crack. Sitting between Harry and Severus, she put an arm around each of their shoulders and squeezed them both close to her, forcing Ginny to roar with laughter. Ginny and Harry quite enjoyed slightly drunk on calming drought Severus and Hermione.

"We'll wake the boys at this rate and I don't fancy a screaming toddler right now."

"Three children, you two are nutters." Hermione kissed Harry's cheek and took Severus' hand, leading him out of the dining room and up the stairs, she finally felt calm enough to sleep when he returned from the loo, fresh from a shower, his hair slightly damp as he curled around her, imagining for a moment what it would be like for her to tell him that they were expecting a child together. Though he knew it was most likely the wine and calming drought, for the the first time in his entire life, he was not afraid to be a father, to love Hermione without fear of damaging her as he had so many others, to begin letting go of past hurt if it meant she would be happier somehow.

((((()))))

At the end of the week when Stieg arrived from Romania, Hermione invited him first to the castle to make sure when she laid out the plan for the storefront/archive in Hogsmeade, he wasn't completely overwhelmed by the idea. She knew she'd have to accompany him back to Romania and wanted to be on as good of terms as she could be, and was pleasantly surprised when he was completely congenial.

"So for now I have you in guest quarters, but I have a surprise, if you don't mind. I have lunch for us, first." He nodded, leading her to the Great Hall where Severus and Patrick were sitting, as well as other staff, eating and discussing classes and quarters before staff were sent home for their holidays. Patrick immediately excused himself and walked towards them, motioning to Violet as he did.

"You made it." He remarked, embracing his grandfather and kissing his cheeks in greeting.

"I'm old, not dead….sorry, poor joke." Hermione pinched his arm, then smiled as Violet Churchill came over to them, sitting next to Patrick.

"Grandfather, this is Violet Churchill, Violet, this is the illustrious Stieg Davenport." Offering her hand, he immediately took it and kissed it gently, ever the charmer.

"So my grandson has told me you teach Astronomy, how did you come to choose that subject? I've always been quite interested in it, myself." Conversation was easy and delightful, every once in a while Hermione caught Severus' eye as he continued his discussion with other staff members, rather content not to be part of her machinations for the afternoon.

"Now, for the surprise, come with me, please." Stieg said farewell to Violet, but Patrick came with them, talking about the course changes he and Hermione were planning for the new term as they walked into Hogsmeade, trying to distract Stieg as they went and finding him easily distractible.

"So, to make things easier for the continued research and also so Severus and I can retire someday, we decided to take this space...I want to move the archive materials here, but I need someone to help me, especially since we'll be taking in more materials from other sources. Come in, and there are two flats on the upper floors." Hermione opened the door and led the two men into the space, it was nothing special at the moment, rather dusty and dry, but even Patrick could see the potential.

"We thought we might sell potions here, a real apothecary but also other things, like journals and texts, perhaps hold informative classes or lectures...but the back would be for research." She opened the doors to the rest of the space, a vast room with cabinets in some spaces and then completely empty in others, leaving rooms for all the filing cabinets and boxes in Romania. Just as she was feeling less confident in herself, though, she saw Stieg's eyes brighten even if he didn't say anything. She immediately cast a few cleaning spells and then moved a few pieces of furniture out of the way.

"What do you think?" His brows furrowed into a thousand questions.

"You want me to move here and run this shop...so a six month's lease?" His eyebrow shot straight up, reminding her of Severus for a moment, though his eyes twinkled far more than Severus' ever would.

"Well, longer than that, really, but to get it up and running, that way we would eventually be able to take over when Severus has grown tired of his life up at the school...it would be a big commitment, I know, and I'd come down weekly to help, of course, and Patrick has agreed to help as well." She studied him as he moved through the room, no sign of age or infirmity in his steps, he looked almost a new man. A bell rang and she turned to the door, knowing Harry was meant to arrive at just that time. Excusing herself, she left Patrick and Stieg in the back rooms.

"Thank the gods you're here, I think I'm losing him." She immediately took the shrunken packages and noted the presence of Ron, carrying Albus and James. Smiling, she kissed them both on the cheek and took Albus from Ron, who set James down. Although things with Ron still weren't like they had been when they were younger, she was glad they were finally friends again, able to be around each other without sniping or passive-aggressive comments; it was nice to have him as a friend again after so long.

"I need to cast a few more cleaning charms, hold on James." Harry instinctively put an arm around James as Hermione removed the dust and cobwebs from the room, leaving it basically clean and far better for toddlers to be playing in.

"Here, let me take this to the other room, why don't you look around, test the wards." Hermione, Albus on her hip, walked back into the back rooms with the shrunken package.

"Will you enlarge this package on the table over there?" She asked Patrick as she came back into the room, Albus' eyes steady on Stieg as they entered the storage space. Immediately the box multiplied several times, taking a large space in one corner of the room, each new box labeled, 'Black Family Archives'. It took seconds for Stieg's eyes to shift and Hermione saw not only that he was intrigued by the boxes, but the child on her hip whose hand was curled expertly in her hair. As she was about to explain the materials, Harry and Ron came through, James running in with his arms wide, pretending to be a dragon.

"The wards are strong, but there's a spot in the loft above the flats that needs looking at, leaking roof I think." Ron said, stowing his wand away.

"Introductions are in order." Hermione motioned to Stieg and Patrick. "Patrick and Stieg, these are my best friends, Harry and Ron, and Harry's two boys, James, over there, and this is Albus, he's also my and Severus' godson." Harry and Ron extended their hands, all men shaking, Stieg continuing his keen observations of Harry's sons. Hermione hoped he saw the obvious likeness between the Potter boys and his own son and grandson, even if just to reminisce for a moment.

"James is currently obsessed with dragons, don't mind him." James was pretending to breath fire all over the boxes, one edge actually catching fire.

"Harry, his magic!" Hermione immediately put the fire out, turning to Ron and Harry, both amused.

"Yeah, for some reason it's always fire with Weasleys." Ron joked, for a moment reminding Hermione of a time when they were easy friends; she hadn't realized how much she missed him until then.

"Ginny is going to freak." Harry added, motioning James away from the boxes, pulling some toys from the bag on his back and taking him to the front room. Hermione shifted Albus to her other hip, using her wand to move some of the boxes into a safer configuration, feeling Albus' tiny arm circling around her neck, his head resting on her shoulder.

"As you can see, this haul is the entire history of the Black family. Harry inherited it when Sirius passed away, but we haven't had time to go through it all, really, and as Teddy, Harry's ward, is the most direct descendant, aside from Harry named in Sirius's will we know it'll be a while before he's old enough to care about this as much as we do. We'd like help, if you're willing." Rubbing Albus' back in circular motions, Hermione turned to Stieg, who looked like a kid at Christmas.

"I agreed to six months, if this is how you wish to entice me, so be it." She heard the joy in his voice, though his words sounded cruel. "I only question how I am going to do this from Romania."

"Well, I have secured your residence here, as well, if you're two flats upstairs could be made into one or you could rent it for extra income, it's really up to you. There's a garden on the roof, for potion ingredients, as well." Stieg clapped Patrick's shoulder, looking between them as though he finally understood what they were trying to do. Leading them all back to the front room, Hermione found Harry and Ron casting more charms to brighten the space up and clean, moving the furniture so there was a quaint sitting area and moving the books around on the shelves. It almost looked like a real shop, though barren, for a moment. James ran up to Stieg with his book, forcing them all to look their way.

"Do you like dragons?" James asked him, his large hazel eyes and unkempt hair reminding Hermione so much of Harry.

"Yes, I do. I live near many, would you like to hear about them?" Stieg moved over to one of the chairs that Harry and Ron had cleaned, sitting with James on his lap; James, who had never met a stranger, was immediately enthralled by Stieg's stories of living in Romania, even remarking that his Uncle Charlie lived there, too. Albus perked up as well, hearing the stories about the dragons, so Hermione sat next to Stieg in another chair, Albus bashfully listening with his head on her shoulder.

"I see what you're doing." She heard from her other shoulder, when she turned and saw Severus, she was surprised, not remembering him coming in. The pressure from his fingertips on her shoulder made her shiver with anticipation, and for the first time in she could recall, she saw the same optimistic grin she normally carried in Severus' eyes.

"Whatever it takes." She replied as Albus leaned back, looking up to Severus and reaching for him as Hermione stood, letting Severus have the seat. When Stieg looked over to Severus, Hermione was sure she saw pure shock. Albus had curled himself into the crook of the chair and Severus' arm, one arm around Severus' neck and the other on his buttons as he normally did, glancing between Severus and Stieg in a shy snit. It amazed Hermione how comfortable Severus had become with his godson, not as stiff or awkward as he had been when James was first born, almost as though he was now completely comfortable in the role Harry had thrust upon him. Remaining a few more seconds to watch Albus, Hermione followed Harry and Ron to the loft to check on the wards and possible damage, finding nothing they couldn't repair. By the time they returned to the main room, Albus was completely asleep and Stieg was drawing a dragon he'd seen as a child in Bucharest, James enraptured and attentive.

"Well, unfortunately, we must be going. Ginny will have my head if I don't have the boys back before Molly and Arthur come for dinner." He put his hand out to Stieg again, shaking it firmly. "I look forward to working with you, professor."

"Call me Stieg, please, and I look forward to Hermione's little venture, as well." Hermione tried to look like her plans weren't actually schemes, kissing her Potter boys and giving them tight hugs, then walking Harry and Ron out, each holding a boy.

"Thank you so much, I owe you both." Stepping up, she kissed them both goodbye and watched them apparate away, before turning back to the store. She found Stieg showing Severus the property, explaining where he would put the potions display, taking him into the basement where they scouted possible lab space.

"You are brilliant but scary sometimes." Patrick finally said, putting his hands on his hips.

"So i've been told. Do you think this is going to work, honestly?" Hermione hands went to her face, rubbing it and then her hair, smoothing errant curls.

"Honestly, this is our best shot...bringing Harry Potter and his sons here, he wasn't expecting that at all and knowing he's going to be getting his hands dirty in the Black family archives...like I said, scary." Hermione watched as Patrick's blue eyes brightened as Stieg's had when he'd first seen the boxes.

"I knew James would ask him about dragons, I purposely told Harry to bring those books and Albus, well, he reminds me of your baby pictures...I just hoped it would remind him that he's a grandfather, that he might be a great grandfather someday, if you marry Violet." She teased, smiling at him sideways as Severus and Stieg came back up the stairs. Patrick visibly blushed and Hermione was secretly quite delighted to see him so enamored of Violet Carmichael.

"How is the basement?" She hadn't been down there since she first let the space and wondered if it was adequate enough for the two Potions Masters before her.

"Tolerable, we'll have to take down a wall for venting." When Severus came to her side, she was surprised to find his arm at her waist, leading her towards the front door.

"Let's get back to the castle, there is still much to discuss." All four left the shop, wards immediately in place as they turned towards the castle.

"I'll show you the flat tomorrow, okay?" Hermione said to Stieg, who looked as preoccupied as she'd felt all day. His head tipped towards her, his blue eyes reminding her so much of Albus Dumbledore's sometimes pleading when you least expected it. The more she looked into them, the more she saw his hurt, and thought of her own father, his peridot eyes pleading with her the same way. Except, this time, she wasn't going to ignore that hurt for her own; never in her life had she felt as selfish as the day her father silently begged her not to return to the ministry after lunch, but she had any way and he'd taken his life that very afternoon. The guilt she'd suppressed for years was now bubbling up within her again, replacing the stress she'd felt completing her mastery projects.

((((())))

After dinner, in their quarters, Hermione and Severus stretched together on their bed, Hermione asked him what they spoke about in the basement.

"Potions, nothing more. He and I will never be friends, Hermione, but I can work with him in a professional manner." Hermione had hoped for more, but knew that it would ages for the two men to come to an understanding beyond professionalism, if they ever did. Snaking his hand through her hair, Severus felt how tense she was, but felt inadequately prepared to handle her disappointment. If things with Stieg were unsuccessful, he worried for her mind and sanity, he worried she'd crumble and he wouldn't be able to piece her back together. They both lay quiet but alert for hours, both minds destroyed by webs of through continuously building and breaking, when she finally heard him fall asleep, Hermione left the bed and went to the sitting room where she found a book and read, Minka curled on her legs as she mindlessly read words that calmed the myriad of thoughts in her mind. Eventually, Severus found her on the sofa and brought her back to bed, curled her in his arms as she whimpered in her sleep.

The next morning, Hermione went with Stieg and Patrick back to the new store to tour the flat and clean up a bit more, determining where to put archival materials and how to shelve possible potions Stieg and Severus might want to sell in the apothecary portion of the shop. She immediately decided to host an informal lecture about the new cure for Lycanthropy to bring potential customers into the shop and then probed Stieg for other series or ideas he might have regarding the lectures they could hold. He seemed as keen as she was to make it a worthwhile venture, to bring the kind of academic culture to Hogsmeade that had been missing for many years. When they finally went up to the flats, Hermione noted that it would be nice to live in the one closest to the roof as it was proportioned most similarly to her quarters with Severus and had the best access to the terrace and garden on the roof. Her mind wandered as they walked through the rooms, seeing the little girl of her dreams playing on the threadbare rug currently in place in the sitting room, and wondering if Severus would ever retire from Hogwarts. Stieg caught her lost in thought and put a hand on her shoulder.

"I will take the lower flat so you and Severus can use this one in the future." Could he be planning to stay, she wondered as she contemplated his words. Trying to play it off as though she wasn't over thinking his meaning, Hermione turned to him and replied..

"That's not necessary, you know he may never retire, we will probably live in Hogwarts for the rest of our lives." Glancing down at her ring, she wondered when they'd get married, if they would at all, and if they'd ever live in the flat; she wasn't sad, just reflective; she'd had no idea just how much everything with Stieg and her own stresses would boil over simultaneously and force her mind into the disaster it currently was. "Plus, it seems a shame to leave it empty for so long. If you will live downstairs, we'll figure out something else for this space." Patrick came out of the loo and found Hermione and Stieg looking out of the window towards Hogwarts.

"It looks small from here." He said over them, but Hermione and Stieg just looked on, both lost in thought. It took a few minutes before Hermione turned back and went down the hallway and stairs to the first floor, her heart racing for a reason she couldn't explain.

"Well, you've certainly made this a lucrative offer, Hermione. I bet before long, he'll be so busy he won't even remember he's made a deal with you for six months." She smiled at Patrick as he spoke, dusting off a shelf as they placed books and a map on it before moving to another one.

"I sincerely hope so because, well, I don't know if I can handle it if he doesn't." Her eyes began to water before she even realized it, she dropped the magical feather duster and sat on the step going down to the basement. Flashes of her father filled her mind, his honey-colored curls sweeping across his forehead, his green eyes so like Harry's bright and happy to see her at King's Cross, the same eyes filled with dread and despair upon hearing her mother was dead.

"Patrick, there's something I need to tell you." He sat softly next to her, offering her a handkerchief. Taking it, she wiped her face, blotting her eyes quickly before she lost her resolve. It was no longer fair to keep her personal interest, aside from having simply gotten attached to the Davenports, cloud her judgement. Patrick deserved to know more.

"During the war, I was a target for Death Eaters, muggle-born best friend of Harry Potter made a fairly large target, so I moved my parents to Australia, removing their memories of me...and although I eventually brought them back, it wasn't the same. My father was always different after they came home, he was forever altered, so worried all the time and incredibly suspicious of me and everything I did. My mother was killed by a car, it struck her on the way to get groceries, and he was just sure I'd planned it somehow or something related to me forced it to happen...my dad was a brilliant man, a dentist, he had become someone I didn't even know and if I had known how serious things were, I would've tried…" Her tears consumed her, her voice quivered and she could barely enunciate her words. "He took his life and I couldn't save him." She finally whispered, her voice faltering. Patrick understood her, though, even through her tears.

"Hermione, I'm so sorry...we had no idea." His arm went around her like a reflex, forcing her to rumble against him. When she heard Stieg rummaging around in the basement, she knew she didn't want to tell him yet, so she covered her face as much as possible and tried to muffle her voice

"Why would you all? I was a stranger before I met Stieg at the potions conference and after that, well, who talks about suicide in pleasant conversation. Please don't tell your grandfather." She whispered as they stood, her eyes pleading with him. "I don't want him to think it's the only reason I'm trying to save him." Hermione felt her eyes filling with tears again as she looked at him, imagining the pain he would feel if Stieg decided to take his life. Instead of making excuses or waiting for Stieg to come up from the basement, Hermione cast scourgify on the handkerchief and gave it back to Patrick, who's sparkly eyes reminded her of Stieg for a moment. Without a word, she left the shop and started walking back towards the castle, she could've apparated to the gates to save her time, but she wanted the puffiness around her eyes to fade before seeing Severus. With purpose, she walked back, her feet hitting the cobblestone path determinedly, her mind still a microcosm of things she needed to get done and events on the horizon. When she finally crossed the threshold of the castle, her tears had ceased but she knew her nose was red, her eyes sore from the tears. Luckily, she didn't encounter Severus as she walked to their quarters, she found Minka running down their hallway so she scooped her up and took a book from the shelf, finding herself too emotional to visit any of the remaining professors. Books were always an escape for her that and brewing potions, so she read for a while before realizing that Patrick and Stieg were most likely not coming back to the castle before dinner, so she went to her lab and started working on some of the stores for the infirmary. Minutes later when she was in the middle of pepper up, she heard the door open, but couldn't turn to look to see who it was because she was in the middle of stirring a particular number of times and didn't want to lose track and have to start over. In seconds, she could smell his cologne, the gentle sandalwood and bergamot melting together in her nose as his hands came around her waist; it had been too long since he'd held her that way.

"Patrick came to see me." Severus whispered against her neck, moving her hair away like he had the first time he'd ever kissed her in the lab, his sinewy fingers tracing her sides, moving up and down the fabric of her Oxford shirt, one hand traveling meticulously to her breast and the other to her hair, magically forming it into a bun. Suddenly, his thumbs were trailing her spine, massaging her as he moved them, his hands fanned out overwhelming her nerves with sensation as he silently cast a stasis charm on her cauldron and warding the door, pulling her away from the workstation and into his arms, still curled from behind her, unbuttoning her top as his kisses trailed her left earlobe, planting them with feather-like softness down her neck to her collarbone; he could feel her tense and relax, knowing her body well enough to know she was done fighting against him. A moan escaped her lips as his right hand found the waist of her slacks, his thumb teasing the hem of her knickers and then suddenly, as though beckoned by some invisible force, his hands pulled at her waist, pushing her pants and knickers to her ankles, planting desperate kisses on her hip and then the base of her spine, he felt her stepping out of the mess of clothes at her feet, her shirt and bra also gone. Without pause, he pulled her back into his arms, his full height towering over her, her own hands grasping his hips from behind and pulling him hard and flush against her as she bent over the armrest of the sofa. In a rush of fabric and limbs, his pants fell and he found her desperate for him, but he didn't see her face, the remnants of her episode at the shop or the tears that escaped as he entered her, her heart conflicted between her intense love for him and melancholy over her father and Stieg.

"I love you."He rasped; she felt his words on her skin, the heat of his love enunciated on her shoulder, a gentle bite accompanying words she so rarely heard from him and any other thought she'd had when he entered the room was gone, all she could think about was his warm, soft hands on her body and the rhythm of their bodies. When they were both sated and finally locked eyes, she saw an immediate look of shame cross Severus' face upon seeing her red nose and puffy eyes, the tears hadn't stopped; he'd been told by Patrick that Hermione was upset, but he hadn't expected to see her so ravaged, and not in the way he had intended when he'd come into the lab, desperate for her touch.

"Hey now, don't...don't be angry with yourself, you didn't know I was having a cry." As though reading his mind, she reached for him, taking his face in her palms. "I love you, Severus." Taking his hands in hers, she pushed to sit on the sofa, charming the cushions to warm as he sat and then joined him, curled in his lap, her head on his shoulder and her arms around his neck.

"It was a bad morning, I told Patrick about my father, but you've…" Hermione paused, forcing him to look into her watery eyes. "I really do love you, you know, more than I've ever loved any man." Immediately, she saw his face soften and knew he was no longer chastising himself, so she rested against his neck, kissing him as softly as he'd kissed her and wished she could crawl even closer to him, wanting desperately to envelop every inch of his skin.

"Come rest with me, you didn't sleep last night." The rumble of his words made her smile.

"Yes, sir." She joked, hopping up and finding her clothes in a neat pile by the workstation. "Maybe next time you can take me here." Hermione added, tapping the wood of the table, eliciting a hiss from him as he found his own clothing. Triumphant in her tease, Hermione bent slowly to pull her knickers and pants back on, meeting his eye in her reverse strip tease, seeing the heat and hunger in his eyes again. Snapping her bra in place, she cast a spell to make her shirt button itself, then beckoned him to her side, "I don't know what's gotten you all riled up, Severus, but I'd very much like to spend my afternoon with you not sleeping." She felt him almost purr against her, then wrap her tightly against him, nibbling at her lips again before they went to their quarters, her potions completely forgotten. If any professor had passed them, it would've been painfully obvious what they'd done in the lab and what they were planning on doing once they arrived at their quarters.

Hours later, after having her way with him and taking a long nap in his arms, Hermione stretched padded to the washroom where Minka was curled up on the rug. Feeling a slight cramp, she noticed her period had come which explained her crazy hormones. Taking Severus' pleasant mood for what it was, she decided to bring up her doctor's appointment when she returned to the bed, sliding under the covers next to him, his skin nude against hers.

"Severus, I'm going to my muggle doctor this week." He paused the hand that had been curling in her hair and kissed her cheek.

"Whatever for?"

"I have to have my IUD removed, it's been ten years." It took a moment to click, for his mind to recall a discussion where he'd heard the term, "iud" before; she felt him tense against her.

"I can have another put in or we can discuss other methods...I…"She paused, she wanted to say she didn't want to wait ten years to have a child if they ever decided to have one. "I know we haven't talked about this recently, but…"

"Potions will do,there are three or six months potion options and they all regulate hormones better than muggle medicine, I've found." Pulling up on her arms, she gave him a curious and shy grin.

"You've been researching muggle birth control?" Her voice teased him as her fingers held his chin.

"You know I am naturally interested in research and do not immediately trust anything anyone tells me, even you, especially when we first began." Although she wanted to be annoyed with him, the cheshire grin of his lips made her laugh, so she pushed him softly away from her.

"Well, I will let you brew my potion then and administer it so there will never be a question of my trapping you with fatherhood, my dear." She hoped he would take her joke for what it was and was pleasantly surprised when his fingers tickled her side and then pulled her to him again, possessively draping his leg across hers, ready to sleep a while longer before dinner, languishing with her in his arms, finally looking happier and less the terribly sad and stressed woman he'd been seeing for months.

Hermione's appointment was quick and painless, much more so than when she'd gotten the IUD in the first place, so she met Ginny for tea at Grimmauld Place afterwards and played with her sweet nephews, flying around the garden, Albus in her lap for part of the tea. It made her heart incredibly light when she was with her nephews; they were carefree and happy, encased in a bubble created by loving parents and an extended brood of relatives content to ensure it remained so. Ginny seemed happier with this pregnancy than she had with the boys, convincing Hermione that she was having a girl. After a few hours spent with her Potters and Teddy, Hermione returned to Hogsmeade, going to the shop first and checking progress with Stieg and Patrick, who were finished with the main floor, so she found them in the lab, brewing something she didn't recognize by sight or smell, but she enjoyed watching them brew all the same, their movements so incredibly insync she could barely tell them apart. It was like watching she and Severus brew in an out of body experience. Staying only long enough to check out the progress and see how they were, she walked to Hogwarts and found Severus outside in the greenhouses with Neville and Hannah, whose Alice was digging in some dirt. Without concern for her robes, Hermione sat with Alice and played in the dirt, building small structures and trying to make them stand, before dusting her hands off an hour later, Hermione had built a structure looking remarkably like Hogwarts, though Alice was too little to recognize the shape, most likely, it was clear she was having fun. Every now and then, Hermione looked to Severus who was clipping herbs for the potion stores and found him as agreeable as she felt, she caught his own eyes a few times, soft around the edges, his brow also completely relaxed. It had been the most pleasant afternoon she'd had in ages, the weather warmed for Scotland, her skin slightly browned from the sun, and the family they'd been slowly building at Hogwarts enjoying themselves outside.

Weeks passed in the same tranquility, it had truly been the least stressful and happiest summer since the war, and Hermione found that her melancholy began to fade more each day, especially as the store was completed. Stieg and Severus had argued for hours over the name of the store, something that signified all it would encapsulate, a place to purchase potions but also learn to brew, a place to research or learn the history of a place, event, or group; eventually they settled on **The Gallipot and Tomes** , deciding either of their names would most likely detract the type of purveyors they wanted or invite the old kind they didn't. After the new sign was hung, she and Severus met Stieg, Patrick, and Violet for dinner in the flat, Stieg obviously content to cook again with his cookware from Romania. Stieg told them stories of his youth, meeting Daniella as a young apprentice in her village. There was something silky about his voice when he spoke of her, almost as soft as Severus' became, but not quite as richly baritone. Violet blushed many times during his story and Hermione wondered if she and Patrick had come to a new understanding, perhaps Patrick was teasing her beneath the table as her own fiance was.

"The Potter birthday party is tomorrow, were you planning on joining us?" Hermione asked of Stieg, coupling her foot around Severus' beneath the table.

"Yes, his invitation was most kind. I look forward to meeting his wife, I was familiar with Molly Prewitt before she married Arthur Weasley, her great uncle married my Daniella's great aunt, so we're related by marriage consequently, though they had no children."

"Good, we'll leave around noon, the house is still protected by many wards and the first time going there can be rather jarring, oh and bring your broom if you want to play modified quidditch." Stieg looked to Severus, who was sneering at her words. "Severus never participates, but I didn't know if you actually enjoyed life?" Severus rolled his head, not just his eyes, to her as they all laughed at her joke.

"Pardon me if I don't relish reliving years of teaching Weasleys and dodging their nefarious pranks." Hermione leaned over and quieted him with a kiss, her hand resting on his forearm before she rose to clean up, Violet and Patrick helping as Stieg and Severus retired to the balcony. Even though they rarely spoke about anything other than potions or the store, Hermione thought it was positively brilliant that they tolerated space together at all considering how ill and horrid Severus had been towards Stieg at the beginning of their mutual acquaintance.

As they walked back to the castle, Hermione's smile grew wider with each step, hoping that the positive feelings she felt about Stieg and his place in their lives would continue in such happiness. Severus noted the skip in her step, her effluent positivity radiating from her, like a magical haze, engulfing him as they walked. Taking her hand in his, Severus admitted to himself that her romantic nature had rubbed off on him some, he too wanted things to end well for her experiment with Stieg, not so much because he cared about Stieg, but because he loved her so much he didn't want to see her suffer, not more than he already had. And so, as they entered the castle, he made a silent promise to her that he would try to save Stieg as well, enveloping her in a demanding kiss, forcing her against the castle walls before they retired to their quarters, where he languished only momentarily before taking her to bed and showing her once more just how much he desired her.

The next day, after collecting Stieg and Patrick at the G and T, as she'd come to call The Gallipot and Tomes in her mind, Hermione and Severus apparated them to 12 Grimmauld Place, the chaos of sound hitting them as soon as they crossed the threshold into the home. She could see that Stieg recognized the home, but didn't pry, she simply led him out to the garden, passing Teddy and James who were playing exploding snap with Ron and his newest fling. Severus stalked over to Harry and Draco, who looked deep into a sparring match, while Hermione introduced as many of the guests to Stieg and Patrick as she could before Ginny snatched her away to finish icing the cake.

"You look so wonderful." Hermione glanced at Ginny's tiny bump, slightly jealous for a moment, then her selfish feelings disappeared and were replaced with joy for her and Harry, especially for Harry who had long wanted a large family.

"This one has been easy, no morning sickness, no fatigue; if all pregnancies were like this, I'd have ten more." Ginny joked, taking the red icing and smoothing it around the top layer of the cake, her arms moving so quickly Hermione felt a bit dizzy as she watched.

"I've had the IUD out, we're on potions now." Hermione shyly shared with Ginny, who stopped completely.

"That's good, a step for progress." Giggling, Hermione smiled, unable to admit to herself that things just might work out.

"I have high hopes." Hermione helped Ginny carry out the cake then found Albus and took him in her arms, kissing his cheeks and hugging him like she'd never see him again. As soon as Albus saw Severus, though, he reached for him, his tiny arms made a circle around Severus' neck, Albus' green eyes looking between Hermione and Severus.

"I've lost another one to you." She joked, tickling Albus' neck as he affectionately tried to fight her off, his little index finger resting in his mouth, eyeing her in a dare. In perfect timing, Teddy ran over and hugged her waist.

"Teddy, you're getting so tall, you'll be taller than me before the end of the year." She took his hand and walked him over to Patrick, who was standing with Neville and Stieg, talking about plants to sell at the G and T. Although he wasn't normally too shy, Teddy stood next to Hermione, but slightly back from her grasp as he extended his hand to Patrick and Stieg.

"Teddy will be a first year this year and he's been nervous about potions. His father, Remus, was…"But Patrick and Stieg knew immediately who the young fellow was, so Hermione stopped and let them fall into easy conversation on their own. Before long, Patrick and Teddy were talking about quidditch and chess, she hadn't known that Patrick was also an avid chess player. As they drifted towards the makeshift quidditch pitch, Hermione and Stieg sat together on the ground, a soft blanket beneath them, both glancing at Severus who still had Albus Potter in his arms, both looking rather sleepy.

"If I could freeze time, I would capture this moment and show it to Severus in 1978, though he'd never believe me." Albus' fingers were in Severus' hair, twisting it as Severus always twisted hers and she agreed.

"Severus wouldn't believe this moment if I showed it to him even three years ago, I don't think he knew his heart could fit all these people in it, especially Alby." Leaning back on her hands, she folded her legs at her ankles and continued to watch him, allowing their sweet godson to fall asleep on him, so fatherly without realizing it. Even if he would never admit it, Severus had always been far more caring than he let on, it was just circumstances of life that had kept him from being able to express his feelings or even agree that he held the feelings at all. He no longer had to guard his emotions, which was far more freeing than he imagined it would be when the war ended and he remained alive. Catching Hermione's continual stare, he came to rest next to them, handing Albus over to her softly, toddler limbs much more complicated than it had been when he was an infant. Before eating, she carried Albus up the stairs to the nursery and rocked him in the chair, falling asleep with him and sleeping through cake and presents.

"Did you know Professor Stieg can fly without a broom?" Teddy's voice roused her an hour later, her neck stiff, her arms numb. She smiled hearing Stieg's name from his lips, wondering how Stieg had settled on allowing Teddy to call him 'Professor Stieg'.

"He can? How marvelous." Hermione rubbed Albus' back, slowly waking him, finding the expected scowl and a soft yawn.

"Do you feel better about having Professor Davenport for class now?"

"Yeah, he told me all about his dad and I showed him the pictures I have of mine; he's brilliant, thank you." Teddy took Albus' hand in his and they left the nursery, she heard them taking the steps two at a time all the way down and then decided to freshen up in the washroom.

"You missed cake, but I saved you some." Hermione heard as she walked into the dining room, Severus and Teddy setting the chessboard up. Taking a seat next to him, Hermione reached for the cake and yawned again, before tasting the delicious concoction Ginny had made for their birthday party, eventually making her way out to talk to Harry about work and catch up. By the time they all left, Hermione could barely hold her eyes open and found sleep as soon as her head hit the pillow at Hogwarts, forgoing undressing or plaiting her hair as she curled against the love of her life, no longer as anxious about her future or his place in it.


	19. Chapter 19

**AN: At the end of the chapter this time. Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

Chapter 19

August passed in a rush, chugging as fast as the Hogwarts Express, the only time it felt relatively calm was the opening of The Gallipot and Tomes, the first lecture she held was widely attended and well-received by the general public, even finding Piers Devon in attendance, how he'd found out about a small, informal lecture on the uses of dittany, she couldn't fathom. After the lecture, she and Stieg sat down to plan the alternating lecture schedule, both surprised when Severus offered to help in October and December. Although Stieg had made quite a home in the first flat, Hermione still didn't quite know what to do with the other one, though Stieg did transfigure a new set of stairs to the roof independent of the second flat. Though she still spent most of her time at the castle, Hermione bounced between the G and T, the castle, and Grimmauld Place, soaking up time with the Potters and Davenports before school was in session again and their time consumed by teaching. Sunday dinners with Stieg had become a habit, Hermione and Severus brought the wine and pudding as Stieg would not allow them to contribute to the actual dinner. They talked, shared theories or articles they'd read, and just generally enjoyed each other's company; it felt so natural that Stieg and Patrick be part of their lives, Hermione didn't even think twice when she walked down to the store and into the flat. It was as though she'd forgotten about Stieg's predicament at all, that he had wanted desperately to take his life because the way he'd fixated himself in their lives seemed so permanent and real. She no longer worried she'd show up and he'd be gone, back to Romania to end things his own way, and that sense of security allowed her to let go of her other anxieties, allowing herself to feel free in her relationships for the first time in years.

Towards the end of August, Severus and Stieg attended a conference on business accounting while Hermione oversaw and worked on the most recent information regarding the new Wolfsbane cure, hoping to have it all sorted before students returned. She traveled to Romania with Patrick to visit Deva and interview the people of the village whose blood samples had shown the immunity. It took them an entire week to meet with the people, take their family histories, and more blood samples. When they returned to Hogsmeade, they left everything with Stieg in the archives, the bloodwork in the laboratory. Although she knew there was still much work to be done, she felt as though the hardest part was now finished- she could breath easy knowing she'd finally made it to Daniella and Anastasia's village, though she hadn't had to encounter Anastasia again surprisingly. While they were in Deva, Hermione spent a good deal of time getting to know Patrick as well, finding some interesting similarities between Stieg and Patrick, such as the way they held their tea cup, an odd palm technique she'd never seen before except with those two. It was the evidence of his love for Violet Carmichael, however, that made Hermione the most curious. Patrick had always been like Severus in that he rarely expressed himself unless prompted and even then, they both were difficult about opening up, so she was extremely surprised when Patrick freely discussed how much he cared about Violet, that he was so thankful he'd come to Scotland and that Severus had hired her. It seemed to Hermione that Patrick had spent most of his life in the shadow of his parents and grandfather, finally finding some independence and self-worth working as a potions professor at Hogwarts.

((()))

The night before students were to return, Severus and Hermione had dinner with Stieg who had obviously been working in the archives, his hands stained with ink. Patrick and Violet had gone to Hogsmeade for a romantic dinner, so it was just the three of them quietly eating the lamb Stieg had been cooking all day.

"Are you ready for students tomorrow, Hermione?" Stieg asked, uncorking the second bottle of wine and letting it breathe for a moment before pouring himself another glass and then filling hers.

"Yes and thankfully this year there's no looming potions project, just me and my students-"

"And the ministry." Severus added.

"Well, yes, the ministry, but St. Mungos is handling the practical work, I just review the paperwork when Tiberion brings it from Shacklebolt, although the last letter did say I would need to oversee one of the trials in November because the researcher in charge, Biddlesby or something, is getting married and he'll be gone. And they know it won't be done right without one of us there; I don't really care to repeat the same trial again." Twirling her fork in the noodles, Hermione lifted it to her mouth and found both Severus and Stieg eyeing her with the same expression, amusement. She could see they were both amused by her compassion and compulsion. "Make fun, you two, but you are both on the receiving end of my ministrations and I don't hear you complaining when it favors you."

"We wouldn't dare complain." Stieg laughed, his eyes twinkling at her again and she couldn't help but smile. The rest of the evening passed in the same easy conversation, eventually they moved to the roof and watched the stars for a while before it was time for Hermione and Severus to go back to the castle. Reluctantly, Hermione and Severus left Stieg at the G and T, and walked back to Hogwarts, both finding sleep elusive the night before students returned. When the students arrived, the first years sorted, Hermione wasn't surprised at all when Teddy was sorted in Hufflepuff and didn't hide her happy tears as he walked happily to his new housemates, his hair turning bright yellow as he did.

(((())))

On the evening of her birthday, Hermione found Teddy waiting for her at the door to the quarters she shared with Severus, a rather worried and despondent look on his face, one she'd only seen from him once before when he'd broken one of the vases that Molly Weasley had brought to Grimmauld Place for Ginny. Putting her arm around his shoulder, she ushered him into the sitting room and ordered tea from Winky, the light in loo glowing oddly as they sat.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Hermione implored, Teddy's hazel eyes barely meeting hers as she poured their tea and offered him a macaroon. Watching him fidget with the hem of his Hufflepuff vest, she wondered what could possibly be bothering him so much that he wouldn't talk. Like his mother, Teddy had always been boisterous and blessed with the gift of gab, adding his opinion to many situations before thinking. But, the boy before her looked as lost and tortured as she remembered finding Remus Lupin on the train to Hogwarts her third year.

"Some kids were talking about my dad and Severus...errr the Headmaster."

"What did they say, sweetheart?" Although she asked, she knew exactly the event they'd probably been discussing, but she wanted him to say the words. Setting her teacup on the end table, she turned her body on the sofa and faced him.

"They said that my dad tried to kill him...in the Shrieking Shack, and Uncle Harry's dad was there and my cousin Sirius...did that really happen? Did my dad almost kill Severus?" Teddy's tender voice tore her apart, truly loyal and loving, this sweet boy looked completely distraught. Neither realized Severus had been in the study at the other side of their quarters, so when he came to the door of the sitting room, he paused, listening to them.

"It's partially true, dear, but it's not really my story to tell." She saw his face fall and decided she had to say something to assuage him. "Your dad was kept in the Shrieking Shack when he transitioned, but it was your cousin Sirius who lured the Headmaster there, they were not friends, hardly...but your dad would never have wanted to hurt anyone, sweetheart, I promise. In fact, he…" They both turned as Severus walked through the room, finally deciding he needed to intervene to save the poor child from his remorse.

"Young Mr. Lupin, your father wouldn't have hurt a fly if given the choice, he was always the responsible one of his friends, though in the instance of which you are speaking, it was James Potter who saved me in the end. When Remus learned what happened, he begged Headmaster Dumbledore to send him away, he never wanted to be a burden." Severus took a seat in the leather chair across from Teddy and Hermione, one leg folded over the other, his hands forming a triangle as he spoke. "That doesn't mean he wasn't a competitive and fierce warrior, mind you, probably the only duelist who bested me, on more than one occasion." Hermione's head turned quickly to look at him, they'd dueled? She had no idea that he and Remus had ever been more than colleagues or acquaintances, hardly friendly enough to duel. More than that, she was surprised at his candid words to Teddy, so unlike him.

"Why were they talking about this at all, Teddy?" Hermione asked, smoothing her robes and trying her best to remain objective and impartial, though she wanted to reprimand the students who'd hurt him.

"We were learning about werewolves in defense, Professor Crowe talked about when my dad was teaching here, I guess he was a first year then and remembered him. They cornered me after class."

"I just don't know how they'd even know about the event at all, it's not as though it's generally known." Severus remarked, taking one of the macaroons from the tray and pouring himself some tea, though he knew they'd be heading to the Three Broomsticks shortly for Hermione's birthday dinner.

"I don't want them to get in trouble, Severus...I mean, Headmaster, I just wanted to know if it was true, is all."

"In these rooms, you may refer to me as Severus, terribly difficult breaking years of habit, and I understand your reluctance to incriminate your classmates, it's a quality of your house, but if things should become more complicated, you will tell either Hermione or me about the situation immediately, understood?" Teddy nodded, but still refused to meet either of their gazes, as though he was embarrassed or ashamed.

"Teddy, look at me." Hermione reached for him, taking his hand in hers, holding it softly between her cold fingers. "Your father was a good man, better than most, and he loved you so much, he would've done anything to protect you and he did, he gave his life so you could live in a world free of Voldemort. Don't let the twitterings of ill-informed students tarnish his memory." His shoulders fell and she could see that her words had somehow made the situation worse; gathering him in her arms, she remembered the tiny boy she'd loved so easily when Harry had first taken primary custody of him, the first little boy she'd given her mothering heart to. "I didn't mean to make things worse, Teddy."

"You haven't, I just wish I'd known them, is all." Looking over to Severus, Hermione felt at a complete loss for words, and found that he seemed as lost as she was in what to do next. Teddy had always been effervescent and lively, bounding from room to room, happy to play with his adopted siblings or even the adults, genuinely happy.

"How about you come with us tonight?" Teddy immediately brightened, wanting to see Harry and Ginny again, to feel like he was home again."But, we cannot make this a habit, first years don't go to Hogsmeade, understood?" Teddy nodded furiously.

"Why don't you go get changed into your regular clothes and meet us at the castle doors." He jumped up, spilling his tea as he did, immediately looking like his mother, even Severus had to grin. As Hermione cleaned the mess, Severus came to her side, and gathered her in his arms, his chin resting on her shoulder as she paused her turned to kiss his cheek.

"It must mean something that not only was Teddy desperate that his father had tried to hurt someone, but that it was you...he really admires you, Severus." Turning in his arms, she felt the weight of his inability to admit that someone actually admired him.

"The poor child is deluded."

"Don't diminish his feelings, you'll find that children…" But he stopped her, pulling her into a kiss, one he'd wanted all day.

"I will never deny him his feelings, Hermione or make him feel that he shouldn't see me as someone he can trust, but it's not the easiest reality for me." Smoothing his hair behind his ears, Hermione tilted his head down and took another kiss, nibbling his lower lip and tugging at the waist of his pants.

"Now imagine how much Alby loves you and him being here at Hogwarts, you'll have your own little fanclub, Potter boys to defend their Uncle Severus." His hands stilled, but not before gently smacking her bum as she quickly jumped from his arms.

"Let's go, before I lose all desire to eat for the next week."

Meeting Teddy at the castle doors, Hermione and Severus walked with him to the gates and then apparated to the Three Broomsticks where Ginny and Harry, Ron and his new flame, Neville and Hannah, Patrick and Violet, and Stieg were waiting on them when they arrived. For the first time in years, she felt like she was surrounded by family for her birthday. Teddy immediately went to hug Harry and Ginny, who seemed rather surprised that he was there at all.

"Here you are, madame." Stieg handed her a shot of firewhiskey, though she was reluctant to drink it in front of Teddy. Leaning down to kiss each of her cheeks, he hugged her tightly before taking a seat next to Patrick and Violet, his mug of ale sloshing a bit as he did.

"Happy birthday, Hermione!" They all shouted as her cake was brought from behind the bar, candles glowing and sparkling. Hermione looked around the people at the table, completely overwhelmed with love for them, well not Ron's new flame who she didn't know, but everyone else. As she tilted her head to blow out the candles, she wished for many things, but mostly for a happy semester, for Severus to have less stress, for Ginny to have an easy pregnancy, for Ron to finally find 'the one', for Stieg to find meaning and worth in his life, and for her own heart to be patient. Once the candles were extinguished, Severus gently kissed her, his arm at her waist as she sliced the cake and gave it to her guests, his thumb rubbing a bit of skin exposed at her waist.

"You'll stop that now if you don't want me to maul you in public, Severus Snape." She teased, leaning into him, her breath hot on his ear. Even though she couldn't see them, she felt his eyebrows arch, the hiss of his breath hitching, and suddenly she felt like the randy teenager she should've been during her teens, when she'd been studying or hunting horcruxes.

"You wouldn't dare." Breath hot on her neck, he completely stilled when her hand drifted to his thigh, her fingers crawling over him like a spider on a web, stopping only when she caught Ron eyeing her strangely, as though he knew exactly what they were doing.

"Filthy tease."

"If Teddy wasn't here…" The remainder of the evening passed so quickly, Hermione was sure some enchantment had been passed. When they made it back to the gates, she hugged Teddy tightly and reminded him not to discuss going to Hogsmeade or what he'd seen of his professors and headmaster. Gingerly, she and Severus walked back to their quarters, finding him far more agreeable than he'd been years before in September, Hermione took advantage of his pleasant mood and continued what she'd started under the table at the Three Broomsticks, happy to celebrate her birthday for the first time in years.

Brushing her teeth, she felt his nimble fingers at her waist, encircling her as his lips found the bare skin at her neck, and she knew he was trying to tempt her from their earlier flirtation at the Three Broomsticks.

"Don't start something you aren't prepared to finish, Headmaster." Hermione teased as he pulled away from her, rinsing her mouth from the toothpaste and eyeing him seductively through the mirror, finding has face wrapped in a wry grin, pulling her tight against him again, taking a moment to pull her hair into a bun.

"I'm quite prepared to finish what you started, Madame." Another kiss at the base of her neck as his hands pulled her robe from her shoulders and spun her quickly in his arms.

"What I started? I seem to remember your hands on my bare skin teasing me, sir." Without a pause, Severus lifted Hermione, thrusting her over her his shoulder and carrying her like a sack of potatoes to their bedroom, depositing her quickly on the bed as she giggled. Every now and then, Hermione felt like they were teenagers, or at least the young people they might have been had the war not made both of them grow up too soon. As he gently removed her clothes, she tried to stop giggling, but for the first time in ages, it seemed like he was freer, less constrained by his position and the stresses pulling him in so many directions.

"I must not be doing a very good job of seduction if you're so lost in thought." He sighed against her neck as he hands went immediately to unbuttoning his shirt, switching positions with him so she was in control.

"You want my full attention, do you? You might change your mind once you see what I have in store for you." As the last button was freed, Hermione pulled his shirt off, throwing it across the room and then planted kisses from the nape of his neck down to his belly button, stopping only for a moment before unbuckling his pants and pulling away suddenly, smirking as she did.

"Teasing again, are we?" Grasping her wrists, he lured her in, bringing her to rest beneath him.

"You know you love it." Nipping at his chin, Hermione shoved his pants off with her legs, wrapping her arms around him again as he leaned forward.

"I know I love you." It would have been the most romantic thing she'd ever heard if he hadn't immediately tickled her sides, growling as she gyrated almost kicking him in the thigh, but he more than made up for it moments later capturing her lips in a passionate, demanding kiss.

(((())))

The falling leaves of October were a welcome sight as Hermione and Severus made their way to Grimmauld Place for Albus Potter's second birthday. His green eyes lit up immediately when he saw them, running to Hermione as though they hadn't seen each other in months. Capturing him in a tight squeeze, Hermione refused to set him down until she filled her quota of kisses and hugs, reluctantly handing him over to Severus as James reached for her, his face smudgy from playing in the garden with his cousins, so she cast a quick spell and cleaned him up, taking his hand as he showed her the new pumpkins Harry had gotten them for Halloween. Suddenly, something tickled her throat and she had a good coughing session before Ginny brought her some lemonade. Hermione plopped down next to the pumpkins, finally catching her breath.

"Did you get these from Hagrid? They're enormous." Hermione put James on one of the pumpkins and took a picture with the new camera Severus had given her for her birthday, and then took pictures of the rest of the guests, the boys flying around the makeshift quidditch pitch, Ginny and Harry sharing a tender moment, Ginny's bump starting to show more, and Severus, in muggle clothes, helping Albus string his new kite and fly it.

"I wish we could've brought Teddy, but too many privileges will make the other students jealous. He will be sad to miss this, though." Hermione said, helping Ginny with Albus' cake, laughing as Ron tossed James into the air.

"Ron, you'll make him barf, stop!" Ginny called out, but it only made George join Ron in tossing James in the air. Hermione happened to look over to Severus and Albus, who were both wearing the same face, a look of annoyance and irritation, it took all of her will not to laugh at them as the kite finally raised into the air.

Hours later, they had dinner with Stieg for their habitual Sunday dinner, giving Hermione time to look around the store for new merchandise they'd been considering featuring, some household items to rid homes of pixies or other annoying beasts, and then giving them all time to talk about the lectures, featured texts, and the schedule for November, when Hermione would be required to be at St. Mungos for another set of trials of the Lycanthropy cure. Time seemed to be moving so quickly, Hermione worried she wasn't quite reaching Stieg like she'd hoped she would. Sure, the Gallipot and Tomes was already far more successful than she thought it would be; between potions and texts, they were already turning a profit, and given time, she knew the research portion of the shop would attract even more people, but she couldn't tell if Stieg was thriving like she hoped he would. October quickly became November and Hermione found herself completely fatigued, some days a struggle to get out of bed. When it was time for the trials at St. Mungos, she relished the break from students and the quiet sterility of the labs.

As November came to an end, Hermione found the balance between her classes, research, meeting with Stieg and trying to care for him, and working through her trials with St. Mungos had worn her down further, but she continued to take easy remedy potions and hope her fatigue would fade. She thrived on the thrill of being busy and that her time with Severus had been the most pleasant of their four years together, but she found her body fighting back against her. Although her face felt tight and her nose leaked incessantly, Hermione tried to power through as much as possible. Teaching classes the week before she went to the trials at St. Mungos, Hermione found that she couldn't talk for more than ten or fifteen minutes before a coughing fit would catch her off guard, leading her to take more potions and hope her allergies would calm down once she removed herself from Hogwarts, but nothing seemed to be working.

After her week at St. Mungos working with the lab and trial patients, she found herself continuously tired, unable to get a good night's rest. Though she took potions to help set her right, she was completely unhinged when she found herself almost falling asleep during her double potions lesson with seventh year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs. What was worse were the coughing fits that seemed to come out of nowhere, making her gasp for breath. After practically peeing on herself two classes in a row, Hermione realized she had a fever and took some pepper-up potion. The next day, when Harry was to present in the defense classes, Hermione was surprised to find Albus in her quarters with Severus.

"Ginevra took James with her to the doctor for her wellness check." Hermione held her arms out for Albus as Severus spoke, the blocks they'd been playing with tumbling immediately as she held him, her cough surprising them both as she scooped him up.

"I can watch him now, if you need to go." Snuggling her godson in her arms, she felt Severus touch her shoulder, his hand ice cold.

"Floo me immediately if you need to sleep, I mean it, Hermione." Rolling her eyes, she waved him off, then lit the fire, her eyes a bit fuzzy, her heart racing. Setting Albus down, she joined him on the carpet and helped him build the town he was trying to create, but her skin flared, sweating and making her feel like she couldn't catch her breath, a coughing fit hit her and for first time, she saw blood on her hands. Immediately, rational thought left her and when she would've normally called for Poppy or Severus, she took Albus' hand and left the room, thinking she should get to the infirmary as soon as possible, though disoriented and lost. Before she could make it to the stairwell leading to Severus' office, Hermione collapsed, hitting her head as she fell, her skin hot as fire and eyes rolling in her skull. Although quite young, Albus immediately knew something was wrong, so he ran up the stairs, his father had taken him to see his Uncle Severus' office that morning and he knew he'd be there. Severus couldn't have been less shocked to see Albus Potter come through his doors, tears streaming down the child's face as he ran to him.

"Albus?"

"Mynee!" The boy screamed, crying so hard Severus could barely understand him. Albus quickly took his hand and pulled him towards the door, but Severus didn't want him to hurt himself going down the stairs too quickly, so he grabbed him and held him tight as they descended the stairs, finding the last thing he expected at the bottom of the stairs- Hermione having a seizure, convulsing on the stone floor. He immediately sent his patronus to Poppy, alerting her that he was bringing Hermione and found the first student walking past to take Albus to Harry, hoping that he could make it to the infirmary before more students saw that their head potions professor was so gravely ill.

"Headmaster, what has happened?" Poppy met him at the door, ushering him to a cot, finding Hermione jerking movements difficult to control and seeing clearly the intense fear in Severus' eyes.

"She's been complaining of fatigue for a while and I've noticed she has been coughing quite a bit, but she took potions." Poppy forced him away from the cot as she cast a spell to create a barrier around the bed so she couldn't fall off and as quickly as it had started, Hermione's convulsions stopped and she opened her eyes for a moment, they were bloodshot and rapidly looking between Severus and Poppy."

"She is very sick, Severus, her temperature is too high. We may need St. Mungos." Severus kissed Hermione and squeezed her hand, leaving the infirmary immediately, finding SInistra and alerting her that he would be flooing to St. mungos, leaving a note for Harry so he knew why his son was most likely distraught, and sending another to Stieg to come to the castle. In less than twenty minutes, he returned with a healer, finding Poppy covering Hermione in several spells, one clearly to bring her temperature down. Stepping towards the cot, Severus watched as the healer and mediwitch cast spells, read diagnostics, and conversed in medical jargon he barely understood, until something in him snapped. He couldn't just watch her dwindle and it was at that moment, he felt Stieg's hand on his elbow, leading him away from the cot and back down the stairs to their quarters, ordering tea for him immediately.

"Thank you for sending for me, Severus. Patrick has taken the rest of her classes today and I will take them tomorrow, or until I am not needed."

"I can't just sit here." Severus said, unable to stop fidgeting with his robes, the tea burning his lips as he sipped, but he couldn't stop himself.

"I noticed she wasn't well at dinner last night, but I thought it was just exhaustion. Really, it's been a month since she seemed normal."

"We all noticed she was tired, but I should've known it was more than that, she hasn't been eating or drinking enough, I saw her stumble on the stairs yesterday, far clumsier than normal." Severus threw his napkin at the end table and then his teacup at the fireplace, Albus' blocks still in the shape of the little village he'd been building with Hermione. A knock at the door made both him turn quickly, but Severus didn't stand, he used his wand to open it and found Harry and Albus on the other side.

"Any news?" Albus went immediately to the blocks, ignoring the men as Harry sat across from Severus in the leather chairs.

"No." Severus sniped.

"I'm going to take Alby to the Burrow, do you need anything while I am out?" Severus sighed, trying not to think of Hermione's tortured face as he pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Files, on the idiots from the trial, one of them obviously had something." Harry nodded and reached for Albus who ran to Severus' leg and held it tight.

"I'm sorry he was with her when this happened."

"She loves him, it would be impossible to keep her away. Come on, Alby, let's go see Grandma." Severus lifted Albus and closed his eyes as his tiny arms circled his neck, hugging him as only a toddler could and for a moment, Severus let his anxiety wash away. As Harry departed, Severus went to Hermione's desk in the study and looked through her journals, finding only symptoms scribbled in the margins, things like, 'head hurts worse this morning' or 'coughed until I woke Severus' on another. Throwing them across the room, he wondered how he'd let it get so bad, but she'd never been sick before, he hadn't witnessed her stubbornly ignore symptoms, though he should've known based upon her behavior in the labs when they'd brewed together, ignoring her sleep for far too long.

"You won't help anything destroying her notes."

"Leave me be." Severus snapped back, dropping his frock coat on the edge of the chair and leaving the study. "I should've never left the hospital wing, they cannot tell me anything unless she is awake."

"Your mediwitch will update you, you may not be her husband yet, but you are the headmaster and they have to alert you about staff. Be patient."

"Don't tell me to be patient." Severus could barely find the words, he knew Stieg was right, but he felt useless.

"Come, let's walk to your office and we'll see if your Madame Pomfrey has an update." With little hesitation, Severus followed Stieg through the door; students were surprised when they passed the headmaster in his oxford shirt and pants, no robes or frock coat, but they didn't say much as soon as they might, his vicious scowl hit them like a hex. As the stairs turned upwards, Severus immediately resolved to marry Hermione as soon as he could, to make her a permanent fixture in his life, to prove to her how deeply he loved her. It was eating him up inside that he hadn't already done so, but nothing he could do at the moment could alleviate his fears that she was far more ill than he'd imagined. Images of her seizing, of the gash at her temple, the heat of her boiling skin, the fire in her eyes when she had opened them for a brief moment...all of it made him ill.

"Severus, sit down, the healer has gone back to St. Mungos." Poppy came through the floo.

"Don't look at me like that, she's being watched by Professor Longbottom." Poppy reacted to the same scowl on his face that he'd given the students they'd passed. "We've located the infection, it must've started as a simple sinus infection, she does get those around this season, but coupled with her pace and perhaps exposure at St. Mungos, she's progressed to bacterial pneumonia. Her lungs are so filled with fluid, it's a wonder she could breath at all when you brought her in." He felt all the air escape from him, unable to acknowledge what she'd said.

"We have her on potions and a port for her lungs, but Severus this is serious, there is potential damage done from her fall and the fever spiking so high. If we transport her to St. Mungos, the journey may complicate things, so the healer and I believe she should stay where she is, though we are going to begin a second course of potions in twelve hours to ensure her lungs drain properly. All of you will need to take this, just in case." Poppy thrust several phials towards Stieg, who took them and offered one to Severus, who took it without question.

"Is she going to live?" He croaked out, handing her the phial back, his hand trembling.

"I cannot say for sure, my boy, but there has been moderate improvement. Give the rest of the potions to the Potters and other professors, though it is unlikely contagious, we will proceed with caution." Severus nodded, wishing he'd been more vigilant with her.

"Can I see her?" He pleaded.

"Of course." He was surprised by her answer, he'd expected her to shoo him away as she normally did. Stieg left the office, finding Harry on the stairs with folders, offering him a phial of medicine, and then scurrying past him. Poppy quickly disappeared in the floo, leaving Severus and Harry alone.

"Patient 90 is the only one with elevated white blood cells…"Harry stated, walking across the office, but found his words lost when he finally looked up to Severus. In that moment, he knew he would never doubt Severus' love for Hermione, it was so plainly etched on his face, Harry couldn't deny it.

"It's pneumonia, most likely from a sinus infection, the trial didn't make her sick, though it certainly didn't help matters. Make sure your family takes the medicine, it's safe for Ginevra and the infant." Severus waved him away, but Harry couldn't leave him alone, knowing he would do nothing but brood until he could see Hermione. Setting the folders on his desk, Harry almost reached for Severus then decided against it, knowing he might make things worse instead of better.

"The students are worried about her and you, perhaps eating in the Great Hall would be good and maybe a word or two?"

"Diplomatic, as usual, Mr. Potter." Severus looked around his office for a set of robes and pulled them on, following Harry towards the Great Hall; as they entered, he couldn't be sure if the students were more intrigued by Harry Potter or himself, but he strolled to the podium without pause and got their attention. Clearing his throat, he looked around the room and saw genuine concern from the students, who obviously loved their potions professor.

"Good evening, students, some of you may have heard that Professor Granger has taken ill. Do not be alarmed, she is under the care of Madame Pomfrey and will return to the classroom soon. Professors Davenport will be taking her classes until then, treat them with the same deferance you would Professor Granger or the consequences will be dire. Now, tuck in." Severus went immediately to his chair and tried to eat the shepard's pie before him, but the eyes were still watching him and all he wanted to do was hold Hermione in his arms.

"Thank you for attending to Hermione, Professor Longbottom." Severus said, leaning slightly around Harry to speak to his herbology professor.

"We all love Hermione, she would do the same for us." Severus scanned the room, still hearing snippets of conversations about Hermione, and it finally pushed him over the edge. He pushed his food away and went to the hospital wing, unable to wait a minute more. When he finally made it to the edge of her bed, he saw her skin was still hot, beaded sweat pooling at her neck and on her arms, her eyes dancing beneath their lids. Taking her hand in his, he pulled the chair over and tried to imagine her well, her bright smile and infectious laugh filling the room, bringing her hand to his lips, he paused only briefly before kissing it. When Poppy checked on Hermione an hour later, she found Severus asleep next to her, his head resting on the bed, his hand buried in her sweaty hair. Waking him gently to save his poor neck, Poppy sent him to his quarters.

"You'll do her no favors if you fall out from exhaustion, headmaster." Reluctantly, he left her to Poppy and found that once he was in their bed, sleep claimed him quickly, though he did not have peaceful rest. He dreamt of the second war, the death around him, Nagini's bite and Hermione's delft hands saving him; he woke in tears.

 **AN: One of my best friends suddenly became so ill with pneumonia that she had a seizure at our job and it shocked me. When I first started writing this story, I wanted to include that point in my life somehow because it made me a different person, trying to care for my friend when it seemed like she would die. Her symptoms came on as oddly as portrayed in this fic.**


	20. Chapter 20

**AN: I edited and updated chapter 19 if you want to re-read. Thanks for reading. let me know what you think. So much happens in this chapter finally giving my favorite couple some squicky happiness.**

 **Chapter 20**

Chapter 20

The next week went by slow as molasses, Severus trying his best to run the school with students ready to go home for the holidays, balancing new students and old, staff who had questions about Hermione's health, and of course managing her as well. Although her fever continued to remain high, Poppy assured him the worst had passed, though he was having a great difficulty believing her when each time he went to the infirmary, Hermione was still delirious.

"Let me take her to our quarters, she'll rest better and I can administer the medicines she needs, they're only given every twelve hours…" Poppy cut him off.

"Not until she wakes and her fever is down, you know the rules, headmaster or not." But as he raised his eyes to protest, he heard the whipping of robes behind him and the tell-tale tapping of shoes.

"How may I be of service, Professor Sinistra?" He turned abruptly toward his deputy, refusing to drop Hermione's hand, feeling a bit delirious himself.

"The staff are worried about you, Severus, and I am concerned the school is the least of your worries at this point, four missives have arrived from the Ministry and you've answered none of them." Her arms folded across her chest, Sinistra tried to appear as severe as Severus normally did, but she was unsuccessful and knew it immediately when he stood to his full height.

"How dare you come in here and pretend to care for the school when it's obvious this is personal, Aurora. If you cared to notice more than owls flittering about, you'd know Kingsley has been sending information about the trials Hermione was working on and two patients are also curiously ill, and a new budget for the Spring transfers." His pause illuminated the silence in the infirmary, aside from shallow gurgled breathing from Hermione. "If you are so worried about the running of the school, I will resign, being with my spouse is more important than appearing at every lunch or dinner, at every classroom lecture...I have done all of the tasks required of me and I seek a moment's peace here, to ensure my…"

"She isn't your wife, Headmaster." Sinistra snipped.

"Just because your sad sack of a husband could care less about you doesn't mean I love her less because we haven't had an official ceremony. You are treading on paper thin ice here and I would recommend you either return to your office or quarters, or find an argument that actually concerns my title or actions, because complaining about the time I spend in the infirmary is not winning you any points." A loud gurgling noise broke the sharp silence that had descended again, forcing Severus to break eye contact and look to Hermione, who was obviously struggling.

"File a formal complaint if you must, take me from her side, I will not treat you any differently than I already do, Aurora, but know that I have not allowed my job as headmaster of this school to suffer for one second." Waving her off, Severus went immediately to Poppy's office and found her mixing the next round of potions for Hermione. When they made it back to her bed, her eyes were open but red like the first time he'd seen since she'd fallen ill. Taking the charmed cloth next to the bed, he softly pressed it to her forehead, feeling the instant heat, but found that her lip curled a bit, her hand met his momentarily before Poppy put her back to sleep with the potions. Severus went through his post as he waited for her calm again, but found her staring at him not thirty minutes later.

"Severus?" Hermione looked around the room, searching frantically for something he knew not, he could only tell because she was trying to raise herself on her elbows. Putting his letters down, he sat on the edge of the bed and tried to calm her, her face in his hands, still warm but not feverish.

"Where's Evie? I thought I heard her crying, it's time to feed her and my breasts are leaking, bring her to me, would you." Severus looked to the corner of the room where Hermione fingers were pointed, pretending to know what she was talking about.

"Evie?"

"Evangeline, your daughter, she's crying or can't you hear her? I want to kiss her sweet cheeks, bring her would you." Severus leaned down to kiss her lips, warm and soft as he remembered them, but not as hot as they'd been in the morning. He walked over to the corner and retrieved a pillow from the cot and took it to Hermione, who cradled it against her, pretending to smooth what he assumed were curls.

"How are we so lucky?" Her tears frightened him, joyous and happy, she reached for him, so he crawled next to her on the bed, holding her tightly against him, smoothing her own curls and kissing her cheek, wishing he could make her better.

"We are, Hermione, so lucky." In seconds, she was back asleep and left Severus wondering exactly what she'd seen in her feverish state. The thought of having a daughter, one so completely loved by Hermione, didn't scare him for the first time since they'd discussed having children at all. Instead, he was curious about the fantasy land Hermione was living in which made them married and parents. Sighing, he pulled away from her and returned to his chair only to be awoken himself hours later by Poppy, ushering him to his rooms. Although he knew he wouldn't rest, he ordered tea, drank it slowly trying not to let his mind wander to dangerous places, imagining losing her; finally, he forced himself to lie down and try to sleep, but his mind wouldn't stop long enough for him to get adequate sleep. Instead, he thought about her, how she'd feel lying next to him, imagining her breaths slow and even, the texture of her massive curls against his chest or arms, and at some point in his musings, he finally fell asleep.

That night, Hermione had many dreams, not only of her life with Severus but during the war as well, and then one extremely intense encounter with Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, and Lily Potter. Though she could tell, in the dream, that it was all in her mind, Hermione's conversation with Lily centered on her friendship with Severus, those memories Hermione had seen after the war she'd had to beg Harry to see after she'd saved Severus. Jealousy finally brought her out of her delusions early the next morning.

When Severus returned early the next morning, Hermione was wide-eyed and sipping broth.

"Look who decided to join the land of the living this morning?" Poppy smiled between them, catching the immediate relief on Severus' face as she offered him the spoon and retreated to allow them to be alone.

"You are a sight for sore eyes, Severus." Hermione reached for him, her hand on his left arm as he offered her broth with his right. He couldn't believe she was actually awake after a week of fevered delusions, he worried she'd slip away again and leave him to his misery.

"You have no idea what a fright you've given all of us."

"Poppy's told me how bad it got, I'm so sorry, I had no idea how bad things were and poor Alby, he must've been so frightened. I'm so sorry, my love, I really am, I…" Offering her more broth, he silenced her apologies and instead let the air hang between them, he didn't want to chastise her for being foolish because that would mean he needed to admit he'd not pushed her hard enough to seek medical help. When all the broth was gone, he toweled her face as he had done so many times while she'd been out and then transfigured the bed to be wider so he could join her.

"Merlin, it's nice to hold you." Her raspy voice and cough caught him off guard.

"Don't try too hard to move." Wrapped in Severus' arms, Hermione felt comforted and calm for the first time she could recall since being in the infirmary.

"I hope I didn't say or do anything too embarrassing, I had some wild dreams while I was out." Hearing Severus' snort, Hermione looked up to him, his onyx eyes boring into her with worry she never thought she'd see. "What? What's wrong?"

"I'm just...you're awake." Poppy picked that moment to come back through, finding the headmaster and potions professor locked in an embrace.

"Hermione, you may return to your quarters with strict instructions and an open floo. Healer Martin will be by in about an hour to remove the drain now that you can cough it up on your own. And Severus, no funny business." Hermione blushed as Severus lifted her from the bed and carried her to the floo, cradling her as tightly as he could against him, they arrived quickly in their quarters. He didn't hesitate before taking her to the washroom, he wanted her to have a proper bath after a week's work of scourgify had dried her skin out, he also wanted to wash her hair.

"It feels so good to be out of that bed, my sides are sore and my breasts, it's like a hippogriff has been sitting on them." He did note that they looked rather red and bruised, as though the coughing had destroyed the soft tissue. Smirking, he gently washed around them.

"What's so funny?" He pondered telling her about the hallucination, deciding it was the perfect segue into encouraging her to marry him sooner rather than later.

"Actually, the only time you spoke more than gibberish was last night, you asked me to bring you our daughter, Evie, because it was time to feed her and your breasts hurt." For a moment he contemplated running his hands over her breasts, but restrained himself and instead poured water on her hair.

"Evie? I've never given her a name before, how curious." Severus lathered her hair, running his deft fingers over and over her scalp, sending waves of pleasure through her body. Not only was she not used to the sensation, but she'd had very little human contact aside from Severus holding her hand or patting her face with a damp rag, and for most of it she had been completely unaware or unable to process the feeling. Now, she wanted to soak up every single sensation, to feel his love for her so clearly displayed. After musing on his hands in her hair, Hermione thought about the dream child, the one who she wanted desperately to exist.

"Before?" He continued to lather her hair from behind, unable to see Hermione's face as she spoke.

"I've been imagining our daughter for years, I don't really remember when she first appeared to me, but in my imagination she is running through a sunflower field and you wrap her in your arms, her curls are glorious and she has your lips...she must've been an infant in my fantasy last night, how interesting." Rinsing her hair, Severus touched her cheek to make sure she wasn't too warm, then drained the tub and dried her off, bringing her onto his lap surrounded by towels. It took only seconds for Hermione to see the worried look on his face return.

"Severus, tell me."

"I know we said we weren't going to plan our wedding, but Hermione, if I hadn't been headmaster they wouldn't have let me in the infirmary, I don't want that to happen again. I was thinking Christmas, since we have such a terrible history on that day, unless…" The desperation in his tone and facial expression was palpable.

"Christmas would be lovely, at Grimmauld Place, everyone will be there and we can surprise them." Hermione wrapped her arms around his neck as he carried her to their room, depositing her softly on the bed then pulling a nightgown from her armoire and warming the covers.

"They will not suspect it at all." Hermione was surprised he was willing to marry in front of so many people, though they were like family to her she didn't quite know how Severus regarded most of them.

"I don't want to sit in this bed all day, can I sit in the sitting room with you? If we transfigure the sofa, I can still spread out and I'll be able to read and see you." He couldn't deny her large, pleading eyes, so he lifted her again and brought her to the sitting room.

"Only because the healer will be coming through soon and I don't want him in our private rooms, and you'll read only one stack of letters or look through one stack of work, Stieg and Patrick have covered your classes this week, and have only left the special projects for you to grade."

"Yes, sir." She saluted him and opted for her mail, pouring through her post before becoming too tired to read and simply watching Severus as he read through his own post, both turning to the floo as the healer came through, charming the port near her lungs to dissipate and then giving Severus an ingredient list and samples. When he was gone, Hermione eyes shut and she didn't wake again until the evening, immediately unsure of her location or the date.

"Severus!" She called out, frantically trying to move from the sofa, finding her legs noodly.

"He's gone up for dinner, dear girl, he'll be back." Stieg's soothing voice calmed her and she fell back against the sofa. "Your deputy headmistress has been rather unkind to Severus, not to worry you, but he has been run ragged this last week."

"I didn't mean to be a burden." She cried, overcome thinking of Sinistra being cruel to Severus, and he trying his best not to cause a problem.

"Do not worry yourself, please, I didn't tell you to upset you, just to explain why I am here and he is there. He would much rather be with you, I know it." He wiped her tears and offered her the first of four potions she needed to take, his grandfatherly eyes making her feel better.

"Thank you for taking my classes and please tell Patrick as well, I'm sure you'll see him before I do. I cannot believe I was so foolish."

"I've watched you work for over two years and can say, without a doubt, I know no one who works as hard as you do; that being said, you cannot keep up that pace forever, something must give and this time it was almost your life. Here you are trying to save a ragged old man and you nearly died." Hermione's tears began again as Steig came to her side, helping her sit up, pushing the blankets around her to keep her warm.

"He won't be happy with me when he returns and finds you in tears." Hermione smiled at him, glad he seemed in light spirits and with her; it dawned on her, though she'd thought about it before that moment often, that Stieg truly had become family to her, someone she could rely on to comfort her, to live life with.

"Would you like me to read to you?" Closing her eyes, Hermione nodded, reaching for his hand as he read A Christmas Carol to her, one of her favorites for the time of year, and tried not to fall asleep, but she was not successful. Within minutes of him starting, Hermione was completely out, her breathing still gurgly and raspy, so it didn't take long for her to become uncomfortable, though when she opened her eyes again, Stieg was gone, she was in her bed, and Severus was lying next to her, staring intently into her eyes.

"You were asking for Poppy, has the fever returned?" His palm rested softly on her forehead as she tried to turn to face him, her body sore and fighting her.

"No, I don't think so, I know I needed the loo but you've charmed that and now I just feel tired." In one swift move, he was up and at her side, giving her three potions.

"I brewed these while you were resting, Stieg is brewing others for tomorrow. Have you eaten? It's past midnight, but Poppy will use an unforgivable on me if I don't keep you fed."

"Not since this afternoon's broth, can I have something besides broth?"

"Perhaps some toast? You know if I give you anything too rich, she'll know." Her laugh, though followed by a disgusting cough, made him happy.

"Who knew you were so terrified of Madame Pomfrey?" Pulling herself up on the bed, Hermione smoothed her nightgown and caught his expression, one she couldn't quite read.

"That woman has healed me more times than I can fathom, I have learned to have a healthy respect for her, as should you. Now, drink this and I'll fetch your toast." Hermione didn't think often about Severus' life before and during the war, his double life which required him to do unspeakable things often...she tried to think less of the memories he'd left Harry after Nagini practically killed him in the Shrieking Shack. Sometimes, when she did let herself think about it, she wondered if Severus still loved Lily Evans Potter as he once had, it would be changing his whole life not to. She didn't concern herself with jealousy or fear of losing him to a dead woman, but every now and then she did wonder. Having never brought it up in four years, she wondered if she should bother, but she couldn't deny she was curious, especially since she'd come across Lily in her dreams in the infirmary.

When he returned, toast with butter heaped on a plate, Hermione smiled at him, suddenly overcome with love and admiration for him. When he was close enough, she took the plate from his hands and then pulled his face to hers, desperate to feel his lips.

"I'll never be able to thank you enough for taking care of me." Her words were sincere, her kisses warm, and he couldn't deny how much better she looked in so little time.

"Eat your toast." He hadn't meant it to sound harsh, but it had come out that way. Immediately, he kissed her again, trying to fix his tone before he ruined the sweet look on her face, but it was too late.

"Hermione…"

"Do you still have...I mean, do you love...forget it, I'm too sick to talk right now." Hermione stuffed a piece of toast in her mouth and tried to hide that she'd been trying to ask him something at all, but he was intrigued.

"If you have something that bothersome, just ask. You've never been shy to ask me anything before now." His dark eyes softened as he spoke to her, thankful that she was improving and slightly curious about her line of questioning.

"It's just, while I was delirious, I kept replaying moments in my life, while I was in primary school or coming here the first, but also exonerating you, digging through those memories with Harry. In my haze, I had an odd conversation with Harry's mum." The plate Severus had been holding rattled for a moment then stilled, he knew someday she would probably want to talk about the memories, the life he'd devoted to someone who had been his constant friend in childhood.

"I'm not sure what you're asking me." His fingers fidgeted in obvious distress; she knew it would bother him to speak about his past, they very rarely talked about things before the war.

"I'm not asking anything, per se, just curious about her, that's all." His quirked eyebrow made her worry she shouldn't have brought it up at all, but if they were to be married in little time, she wanted to see how deeply he still cared about the first woman he'd loved.

"Lily is like family, she's always going to be a permanent fixture in terms of my early life, and now that I'm with you, Harry is like your brother, it's an odd extension to feelings I've held. But the romantic feelings, they've been gone for many years, before you were in school really, protecting Harry became an obligation to her memory, to undoing all the terrible things I did. I loved her, but that love became something else over time, a devotion." For a moment, Hermione truly regretted bringing it up, seeing the anguish in him and knowing that she was making things worse somehow, but then she knew it would eat at her if she didn't bring it up, so she leaned forward to touch him, finding his skin cool but soft. When she looked up at him, he seemed so incredibly uncomfortable, but she wanted nothing more than to give him peace about it; to know that she wasn't asking to make him feel badly or because she was jealous. She felt suddenly quite guilty for even mentioning her as she watched him fidget, his hands tapping continuously.

"Thank you, for loving me and her." Pulling him into a kiss, she noticed the crumbs of the toast falling on his shirt. "Sorry, I guess you were glad not to have your clothes ruined for a week."

"Unfortunately, your coughing, sneezing, and bathing ruined just as many clothes as your tea, coffee, and crumbs, but I'd rather my shirts be ruined than for you to be gone." Finishing her toast, Hermione snapped for Winky who looked positively giddy to see her awake, and then she begged Severus to join her in bed. He was being far more romantic than he'd ever been with her and she relished every moment. It was as though her illness had opened the gate to his emotions, until he spoke again.

"If you thank me again, I am going to hex your mouth closed." And Hermione knew her Severus was back, if he was being snippy with her, he must be feeling at ease and it also meant that he thought she was better as well. Wrapping an arm around his waist, Hermione pulled herself as close to his body as she could, resting her chin softly against his shoulder and kissing him as lightly as she could.

"I love you." Her words made him turn to face her, his hands in her hair, forcing her face mere inches from his.

"I hope you will never doubt that I feel the same, even when we have moments of difficulty or I cannot find the words." His fingers twisted her curls and when he spoke again, Hermione was sure she'd never forget his face, his terrified eyes, the tone of his voice, and how desperate he sounded. "I thought I'd lost you and though I will someday, hopefully in old age or after I've been gone a very long time, it cannot be now when I've barely had you." Stilling his hands for a moment, he cradled her against him, his chin on her head and his fingers rubbing her back. Words failed her as her heart beat rapidly against her chest, tears falling softly on her cheeks. He was gone when she woke, but his words took her through the day like a battle cry, moving her forward to being able to live without someone doing everything for her.

The next morning Hermione woke in discomfort, her body still sore from being ill and from lying about for weeks, but when she tried to stand, she found that her legs were still weak, so she rang for Winky for breakfast as she couldn't hear Severus milling about in their quarters. For a moment, she lay back on the bed and held his pillow tight against her chest, the smell of his aftershave still present. When Winky returned to her bedside, she ate her toast and drank her tea before trying to stand again, finally feeling strong enough to make it to the washroom. Turning the shower on, she undressed but found that the longer she stood under the warm water, her legs felt weak, so she turned off the shower and filled the tub, at least she'd get in another good soak as she felt rather grimy from being in the infirmary for so long. Ten minutes into her soak, she heard Severus come through and found him quite annoyed with her when he realized she wasn't in bed.

"Are you trying to slowly kill me, Hermione?"She tried to respond but found herself coughing instead, sitting up in the tub so she could get more air, trying not to splash too much water onto the floor as she struggled to breath. Severus immediately moved to her side, kneeling on the tile as she tried to breath, eventually running circles across her back and shoulders, lightly prodding her muscles then tapping her harder to help make her cough more successful.

"You shouldn't have taxed yourself, I would've helped you."

"I am capable of walking to the washroom, I only started coughing…" Severus cut her off with a scowl and tone representative of his years as a teacher.

"No excuses, seriously, you could've hurt yourself. Until you can consistently eat solid food and, " He leaned over her after rolling his sleeves up, taking the shampoo from the ledge and lathering her hair, "until Madame Pomfrey says you can, let me help you walk or at least call on a house elf." She was worried when he came into the washroom that he'd be cross, but instead his words sounded terse with no venom behind them; he showed nothing but pure concern and though she missed the independence of her regular life, it was nice to have someone take care of her and love her enough to worry.

"I'm sorry, I just want to feel normal again." Bringing her knees to her chest, she felt self-conscious for a moment as his hands worked through her hair again.

"Have you had pneumonia before?" He suddenly asked as he rinsed her hair and brought her face to his, touching their lips together in a soft, warm kiss.

"Yes, when I was small. My Mum made me chicken soup and toast for every meal and hot toddies at night with gobfulls of honey. It was the only time I ever slept in their bed, that I can recall at least because my Dad was adamant about our rooms being our sanctuaries, even when I was scared from a nightmare, he wouldn't let me in their room; he'd take my hand and lead me back to mine, always pretending to check the room for monsters before tucking me back in." Resting her face on her knee, she looked at him fully, her speckled brown eyes meeting his as he leaned over to her again, kissing her cheeks and mouth softly again.

"Let's dry you off and I'll pretend not to read over your shoulder? We never finished Persuasion, you know." Gingerly, he stood and took her hands in his, helping her rise from the warm water before wrapping her in a large, fluffy towel, helping her to their quarters where he found flannel pajamas and soft cotton knickers. He then helped her back to the sitting room where he collected Persuasion and her brush, taking a seat behind her as he worked through her hair, carefully brushing each section and then putting it all in one plait, allowing her to rest against his chest as she read through the book, he caught glimpses of the text but instead focused on the delightful pressure of her body, the soft vanilla of the shampoo she used wafting gently towards him, and the contented feeling of knowing that she was better, that she wouldn't die from her illness and that it had been something treatable. In his life, he'd never completely given himself to anyone, not quite like his devotion to Hermione. It was one thing to follow a leader, to give your life to someone in defense of a belief, but loving someone and letting down your guard was something entirely different. He had never expected to love again at all, little alone someone so optimistic and fearsome as Hermione could be, but he felt himself almost smiling as he teased the stray curls trying to escape from the plait, knowing that she would be his wife, that they would be united in a way he'd never expected, it made him incredibly contented to think of the future and what they would be able to accomplish, and the places they might go. It suddenly felt so freeing to know he wouldn't be doing it all alone.

(((())))

A week later, when students went home for the holidays, Hermione felt well enough to walk around the castle and even apparated with Stieg to the G and T to see the new display area for potions he, Severus, and Patrick had been working on for common illnesses and ailments. Although it was funny to think of Stieg and Severus being concerned about dust mites or other allergens that wizards often ignored in their homes leading to illness, she saw the practical need for it immediately. Additionally, she was planning on selling her focus potion, which she had tentatively named "incumbo" which was latin for focus, but that exact day she found Patrick and Severus in the basement brewing the potion, which both had consumed. Hermione recognized immediately that Severus had consumed the potion because he seemed far more focused on his task and less irritated by his former mentor than he would have normally been in the same situation as they came down the stairs.

"How is everything progressing, gentlemen?" Her voice brought both of their eyes to her, she found immediate relief in Severus and an odd look of appreciation and interest from Patrick; Stieg let go of her arm long enough to take one of the vials and drink the incumbo as well, she'd never seen his reaction and was quite curious to see if he was more like her, happiness flowing through her veins or more like her friends and Severus, a keen observation and hyper-sensitivity and focus. In moments, after Hermione had walked around the lab a few times, using her legs like a child learning to walk for the first time, she felt Stieg's hand on her elbow, finding him positively giddy.

"One thing we need to research further before we offer this for mass consumption is the specific factor which makes the potion unique for each person." She heard Severus mumble as Stieg lifted Hermione off the ground in a hug and dance, twirling her around like she would normally behave if she had also consumed the potion. When she floated airborne for a few seconds and crashed into him, Hermione found herself enveloped in the sweetest hug, as though her father had come back from the grave and was holding her tight before bed or in the market place where she might have run off; momentarily, she fancied herself a little girl again and allowed the fantasy to grow, looking to Patrick like the brother she never had, and she wished, if possible, that she could always find Stieg so amiable.

"Interesting reaction! I see you seem to tend more to my reaction than Severus'." Plopping her in a chair after practically breaking her ribs from the hug, Hermione giggled, watching him move to Severus, who under the influence of the potion could not sneer or react quite as sinisterly as he normally would, and bowing slightly, taking Patrick's hand next and dancing some folk dance she assumed was Romanian. Finally, he came to stand next to her again and paused only a second before pulling her from the chair and carrying her up the stairs, several flights until they got to the roof. Though it was cold, Hermione could see Hogwarts in the distance and the shops of Hogsmeade covered in snow.

"You've made it impossible for me to say goodbye, Hermione, even the days when I desperately want to- I yearn to say goodbye, but I don't because you've given me another life and I find I cannot piss it away again." Turning to him, she found his eyes watering and hers as well, freezing against her skin as they began to fall. WIthout hesitation, she rushed into his arms, holding him so tightly now he couldn't breathe; the air whirled around them as the snow fell, blanketing them in white glory, and Hermione found herself the happiest she'd felt in years, finally able to breath without fear that someone she loved might soon be gone.

"How will I ever repay you?" He suddenly asked, pointing to the areas of the roof where some ingredients were being kept in makeshift greenhouses charmed to warm and then to Hogwarts, where he was known and well-liked by students and could see his grandson every day.

"No payment required, just knowing you are...alive, that's all I wanted. I know we have no guarantee of tomorrow, but why help death along?"

"For once, I agree with you my dear." They both turned to see Patrick and Severus at the door, obviously they'd heard Stieg's admission as Patrick seemed as elated as she felt, her skin practically sparkling with magic in response. As Severus and Patrick walked over, Hermione felt her legs giving from the dehydration and fatigue, but Severus caught her as Stieg walked to his grandson, embracing as she and Stieg had been moments before.

"Who knew your potion had an element of truth serum?" Severus whispered against her ear, reminding her of the first time they'd consumed her potion together and the letter he'd written her, even if she didn't get the letter until far later it meant much to her to know his true feelings, especially when things were convoluted or tense.

"It's so unexpected...I honestly believed I'd have to beg him again in February, but no, it was as simple as getting bacterial pneumonia, finding this shop, giving him a purpose again, and you." The hand that he'd placed at the base of her spine stilled.

"What do you mean, me?"

"He needed you, more than me, you know that. He had many regrets about you, it was obvious when I gave him the cure that he had remorse, and how could he ever find redemption if you barely tolerated him? Plus, I've seen Sean Patrick, you could've been brothers, I'm sure there is a part of him that sees you like a son, as he sees me like a daughter." Pulling her into his robes, Severus kissed her lips softly and looked to his former mentor, years of anger had boiled beneath his skins for as long as he could remember, but Hermione was right, at some point he'd accepted Stieg in his life again. If people like Hermione or Harry Potter could forgive him, then he could forgive Stieg Davenport.

"Let's go in, it's too bloody cold up here." Stieg finally said, shivering as he trounced back into the hallway leading to the flats and then down the stairs, racing down them like a schoolboy. Patrick put his hand in Hermione's for a moment, squeezing in thanks for everything she'd done to convince Stieg not to take his life, and then he followed his grandfather down the stairs to the basement where potions were in stasis, leaving Hermione and Severus on the roof, looking over Hogsmeade towards Hogwarts. A few minutes later Severus helped Hermione back inside, holding her hand as they descended the stairs, finally carrying her down the last set into the basement where he finished brewing his potion as she read through some research on the effects of ginger on memory but fell asleep before they were finished brewing, leading Stieg to take her to his flat and allow her to sleep in his spare room. When Severus was finally finished, he flooed to their quarters from the newly connected floo and gathered all of their things for Christmas Eve, including the special present he was going to give her and their outfits for the special event. He reminded Stieg and Patrick to arrive at Grimmauld Place by half five the next evening, then he apparated he and Hermione, who was groggy but semi-aware, to Grimmauld Place where she finally crawled into her old bed and awoke on Christmas Eve an unmarried woman for the last time.

((())))

All that day Hermione had tried to act normally, though she was still feeling ill, she tried to play with the boys, visit with Ginny who was the cutest pregnant woman, and to see Harry and Ron like she many years before, catching up like they hadn't talked in weeks though they had. When it was time to get ready for guests and the Christmas party, Hermione found Severus in their room on the third floor, changing into his special robes. It took her breath away when she finally saw him, an air of complete calm encircled him and she saw for the first time in a while the stress of his profession, the errors of his past, the guilt of his life all melt away. Taking his hands in hers, she stepped up to kiss him and then changed into her emerald robes, the ones she'd picked just for him and for their wedding. She'd never wanted to wear white, the muggle custom, instead she wanted to honor her husband by wearing a color she knew he loved. When they finally descended the stairs, Hermione took her seat across from Severus, finding herself sandwiched between Harry, at the head of the table as usual, and Stieg, who seemed to have made many friends amongst her former school mates and Order members. After wishing everyone well, they tucked into the feast. Hermione had told only Kingsley Shacklebolt that they were going to be wed that night and only because he needed the official documentation for the Ministry, otherwise they would've kept it a surprise from everyone. His foot found hers as pudding was served and she smiled sweetly towards him, their gaze held longer than normal forcing Ginny to poke Harry in the rib, looking between them. It took presents and Teddy to break their gaze, Hermione made eye contact with Kingsley who nodded slightly and stopped everyone in the room.

"Excuse me, all, Happy Christmas. I have been asked to do something I've yet had the pleasure of doing during my time as Minister for Magic, to combine two souls in wedded bliss." Immediately there was twittering and the sounds of happy shock pervading the room and Hermione took Severus' hand in hers, squeezing it like she might never get to hold him again. Standing first next to Stieg, she kissed his cheek and then moved to Harry and Ginny, who were less shocked than the rest of the guests, and finally she stood with Severus under the archway of the sitting room into the dining room, facing him, their hands clasped and covered in cords Kingsley had presented from the Ministry.

"Hermione and Severus have chosen a simple set of vows, though ones that carries with them the full and legally binding marriage requirement of the Ministry, it is their wish for you all to stand as witness as they exchange vows." Kingsley took a step back from them as they turned to face each other fully, Hermione and Severus planned to say their vows simultaneously, but before they could begin, Hermione found herself almost entranced and unaware of all the people watching them. Hermione was still surprised that Severus had been willing to have the ceremony at Christmas, at Grimmauld Place with so many people in attendance. Finally, Severus brought her hands to his lips, breaking the spell and they began, their voices low and steady, her heart beating wildly against her chest as she looked into his eyes, the depths of which she felt she finally understood, and she saw saw not only their past but their future, the girl, the store, the love of the people around the, but most importantly his love, which surged through her skin like a heatwave.

"You cannot possess me for I belong to myself

But while we both wish it, I give you that which is mine to give

You cannot command me, for I am a free person

But I shall serve you in those ways you require

and the honeycomb will taste sweeter coming from my hand.

I pledge to you that yours will be the name I cry aloud in the night

and the eyes into which I smile in the morning

I pledge to you the first bite of my meat and the first drink from my cup

I pledge to you my living and my dying, each equally in your care

I shall be a shield for your back and you for mine

I shall not slander you, nor you me

I shall honor you above all others, and when we quarrel we shall do so in private

and tell no strangers our grievances.

This is my wedding vow to you.

This is the marriage of equals."

As soon as the words were finished, the cords tightened around them and rings appeared on their ring fingers, two silver bands and then as suddenly as they had tightened, the cords fell into Kingsley's hands as Severus pulled her face to hers and their first kiss was shared. Immediately, the room erupted in applause, she felt hands on her back but she didn't want to turn from her husband and look to them.

"I love you, Severus, and I endeavor to be the wife you deserve." Her words brought tears to her eyes, thinking of everything they'd been through in their four years together, but even before that, to the night she'd saved him and lost so many others, to her years as a student at Hogwarts.

"I love you, my wife, and though I know I will never be the husband you deserve, I will spend the remainder of my life beholden to you." Kissing him again, Hermione linked his arm and finally turned to Harry and Ginny, who hugged both of them, much to Severus' shock, and then offered them many years of happy marriage.

"Thank you all, we are so fortunate to have so many family members and friends who love us. We don't want to monopolize more of the night, so please, let's exchange gifts and Happy Christmas." Hermione announced, turning to Fleur Weasley for whom she had purchased three fine silk scarves which happened to be all the rage in Paris and then watched as people exchanged gifts and every so often, she found herself being hugged or kissed on the cheek. When Ron approached her, she worried perhaps she'd been insensitive, though it had been four years, to marry in front of them surprisingly, but if they'd had a traditional wedding, Hermione would've invited him regardless.

"Congratulations, Hermione." He bent down to kiss her cheek and she couldn't help but hug him, like she had years before when they'd survived the final battle except this time she was hugging him because she finally felt like she had her friend back, her brother really. Feeling a tap on her shoulder, she wondered who would be next to congratulate her but she found Severus at her side.

"Already tired of being congratulated?" She joked, but instead of finding him even remotely humorous, Hermione saw an odd look of worry and perhaps nervousness. "Severus?"

"I drew your name this year, before you were ill of course, and I didn't quite know what to give you. We have so much, so many fine things and with the store and your research, it seemed anything I could buy you would be frivolous, so I decided to give you something your heart desires." Hermione put her hand on his chest, over his heart and grinned at him.

"But you've married me today, you've already given me what my heart desires." Placing his hand over hers, he pulled it away and placed three vials in it. The potion was an odd orange color and warm in her hand, the vials had obviously been in his pocket for a while.

"When we are ready to have a family, these will ensure success implicitly." Clutching the vials, Hermione closed her eyes and saw the image which had stayed with her for years, the girl running through the sunflower field, her hair blowing wildly in the breeze and Severus holding his arms out for her, catching her and clinging to her tightly as they walked towards Hermione.

"Severus, thank you...I...why?"

"You were dying in the infirmary and I had dreams of the night in the Shrieking Shack, before you knew I was vindicated, you saved me...you saw something in me that I didn't see in myself until even a few weeks ago. Poppy forced me to leave the infirmary and I went to shave, hoping that you'd wake up that day and I didn't want to frighten you. I looked in the mirror and I saw someone worth saving, and now, I can have a wife and a child without fear I'll become my own father, push you away or worse." Curling his hand around hers, the one holding the vials, he enveloped her completely, taking in her softness, the feel of her in his arms. Her eyelashes tickled him as he dipped her slightly, planting an urgent kiss on her mouth. It was the most he'd ever showcased his affections in front of their family and friends; she remembered their first Christmas together, his odd behavior at Ginny knowing they were together, and now the man before her had said vows in front of all of them. She knew Severus would never be completely comfortable with the world knowing that he wasn't always a contrite curmudgeon, but she was pleased to see how elated he was as people came to congratulate them.

"I wish the boys had been awake." Hermione said, sipping her Christmas punch and staring down at the new ring on her finger.

"If I had known you were planning to marry tonight, I would've kept them awake." Ginny feigned annoyance then hugged Hermione tightly, the baby bump pushing against Hermione and making the baby kick.

"We decided when I woke up in the infirmary, I didn't want to jinx it, I guess. He seems so…" Hermione and Ginny watched as Harry and Patrick talked to Severus, their voices animated and though he still stood with his arms folded, she could tell he was enjoying their conversation. Before Ginny could continue their conversation, Hermione felt another arm on her waist and turned to see Stieg.

"You are full of surprises, my dear. I hope Severus understands how much faith you've placed in him and how much responsibility he now bears. If you ever need me to remind him, I will." Leaning forward, Stieg placed a kiss on each of her cheeks and then hugged her, adding, "Even if you were my biological daughter, I couldn't be more proud of you or happy for you." It was almost too much, Hermione thanked him, kissing his cheeks in return and then found herself overcome. Climbing the stairs to the nursery, she checked on James and Albus, no longer babies really, but still sweet boys in their sleep. When she opened the door, she found them both asleep so she closed it again and continued to the third floor, putting the three vials of conception potion in her travel case, secured with spells and wondered when they'd be ready for their own child. Replaying both Severus' and Stieg's words made Hermione's heart expand, missing her parents and wishing to secure the moment in her memory so that she could revisit it when she doubted herself or the life she lived. Wiping her eyes, she sat down on the bed and tried to catch her breath, the weight of the fluid still remaining in her lungs feeling heavier than a hippogriff, forcing her to lie down for a moment, which turned into an hour before Severus woke her softly by helping her out of her robes.

"We exhausted you today." Flailing like a drunk or tired toddler, Hermione moved out of her robes and into pajamas, curling around her husband who did not look like he wanted to sleep; feeling bold, Hermione willed her hand to travel over knee to his thigh and then down his pajama pants, but his own hand caught hers before she could find her final destination.

"Poppy said one more week…"

"Yes, for me, but not for you." There was an odd mixture of wanton innocence on her face, but Severus knew she was too tired to continue.

"Hermione, we are leaving tomorrow, I believe I can survive one night."

"But it's our wedding night, Severus." Pouting slightly, Hermione tucked part of her lip behind her canine and then pulled herself up, kissing him gingerly down the right side of his chin, then his neck, and then finally to the place where he couldn't help but hiss or moan, his collarbone.

"We can by extra gentle, please, I just want to make love to my husband." Toying with the waist of his pajamas pants, Hermione kissed from his collarbone to his belly button, watching him as she did, but looking away for a moment as she almost sneezed.

"Hermione, look at me." Tilting her eyes to him again, Hermione licked her lips.

"You are ill, wife, and I will not have our honeymoon ruined because you think if we don't consummate our marriage tonight it's all folly. Come here." His hands pulled her into his arms as he rolled her on her back, kissing her neck like she'd kissed him, but Hermione wasn't giving in, she wrapped one of her legs around him, pulling his body onto hers.

"I took my potions, I'm not running a fever, I haven't even coughed since breakfast, please, I've never begged before." It suddenly felt far more important that he didn't push away than it had originally, Hermione had to have him and she refused to take no for an answer, so she reached down to his waist, pushing her hands past his pajama pants and boxer briefs to grasp his bum, pulling him tightly against her.

"Merlin, you're relentless."

"I just know what I want, husband." She knew then that she'd won and what commenced what the softest, sweetest, and most intimate love making that had ever occurred between them, happening exactly as Hermione had wanted, no coughing or wheezing interrupting his ministrations, and his declaration of love, and hers, mingled together in a finality neither had expected years before when she'd walked into his office for her interview, sparring with him only momentarily about her credentials to teach his former post. If she had known after that meeting in May that she'd one day be his wife, perfectly sated next to him on their wedding night, she wouldn't have believed it, even after everything that had happened in her unexpected life. If she had known that one day he'd finally see himself through her eyes, the value of his life far greater than he'd ever known, and would want to commit himself so fully to her as no other person, she might've fainted from shock; as it was, Hermione still replayed his words,'I saw someone worth saving', and hoped he truly did, because she had seen him, the real him, all those years ago and was thankful he finally did as well.

Possessively she held him that night, her face in his hair, her leg over his, and when they woke, they showered, played with the boys and had Christmas breakfast with the Potters before leaving for St. Malo, a quaint bed and breakfast, and a honeymoon to rival any holiday they'd taken before together. It had been hard to leave Teddy, James, and Albus, but as soon as Hermione saw the shoreline, the gorgeous silhouette of Mont St. Michel, and the smell of fresh baguettes and nutella crepes, Hermione felt completely content to be on the arm of her husband in such a beautiful place. Although they had only planned to stay for one week, as the Sunday of their departure arrived, Severus and Hermione found they weren't ready to return to Hogwarts or to responsibility, so they extended for four more days, going south to Marseille where Hermione had her first glass of wine post sickness, allowing Severus an afternoon of genuine laughter, and altogether, when they did return to Hogwarts, it was under the agreement that every anniversary would be spent in travel, going places Hermione had gone with her parents or places Severus' parents had gone early in their marriage, ultimately to build new memories of places that often held sadness for either of them. Minka greeted them with exuberance, running around their quarters as though they'd been gone for months. Both ignored the post for as long as they could, opting for reading together on their sofa and tea, wishing every holiday could be so incredibly perfect.


	21. Chapter 21

**AN: A bit of fluff in this chapter; this one might get the same treatment as 19 and 20 in terms of editing. I'm still not completely happy with it. ! Thanks for reading and reviewing!**

 **Chapter 21**

News of their impromptu wedding on Christmas Eve spread like fiendfyre throughout magical Britain and they found new paperwork from the Board of Governors, assuring them that old standards would still be in place and that no favoritism would be shown to the newly married professor of potions. Hermione opted to keep her name, not only for her research but to keep things from being confusing in meetings with constant 'Professor Snape' references. She did legally hyphenate her name on their official wedding certificate and wanted to hyphenate the name of their children, should they ever have any. At first she'd worried that Severus was going to be adverse to the idea, but he seemed just as agreeable, not particularly attached to the 'Snape' name and certainly not old fashioned enough to assume she would take his name in the first place- he'd been surprised when he watched her sign the certificate, admittedly an odd protective sense invaded him when he saw her write 'Hermione Jean Granger-Snape', as though it hadn't been real until they both signed. The events of their wedding and honeymoon transfixed her whenever she had a moment to think, to take in all that had transpired while they had been together. From the very first kiss he'd placed on her neck, behind her ear, to the one he'd given her that very morning, Hermione was still shocked that they'd come so far. Inasmuch as she could, Hermione tried not to dwell on the darker parts of the previous four years, the misunderstandings and her own over-thinking, how much time she wasted being critical of her husband when he was learning how to open up to her, and even though she wished wholeheartedly that she could take the wasted time back, to allow herself rationality, she knew that it had molded them and made their relationship stronger, even if the misunderstandings had been hard to bear. When she looked at Severus over breakfast, their first day back from their honeymoon, she found she loved the gentle and soft look on his face, discussing the rotating duty roster and how she'd not be in the mix until she was feeling completely free of her residual issues concerning the pneumonia.

"You know the staff will think I'm getting special treatment." Smiling wryly across their table in the office, Hermione chewed an edge of toast and brought her tea to her lips, watching the myriad of emotions playing across her typically stoic husband's face.

"Bugger them, you aren't well. I will take the extra duties if need be." It endeared him to her, his duty to making sure she was well and taken care of. She'd never thought she wanted someone to take care of her, in fact when Ron had tried, she immediately balked. With Severus it was different, he wasn't trying to micromanage her life, he wasn't limiting her opportunities, he simply wanted to make sure she was her best self, and that was all she'd really wanted from a spouse, if she was being honest with herself.

"Patrick said he'd help and you know Neville will. I don't want your deputy angry at me for something else, love." Her hand split the chasm of table between them, and rested on top of his and she immediately felt the warmth she'd been seeking as she felt perpetually cold since she'd been sick.

"Your bevy of supporters."

"You are the only one I'd happily…" But she couldn't quite put into words what she was feeling, overwhelmed by the words of their vows suddenly replaying in her brain and how he'd said those vows to her, in his rich baritone practically velvet in her ears, and in front of all their loved ones. Suddenly, she dusted off her chest and lap from crumbs and came to his side of the table, wandlessly moving the table inches over so she could rest softly on his lap, her legs across his and her arms around his neck, planting kisses along his jawline before capturing his chin in between her thumb and index finger.

"You're rather chipper this morning." If it was possible, she felt his voice drop several octaves, vibrating against the soft skin of her cheek as she leaned into his ear.

"I'll show you chipper." Her reply sent obvious chills down his spine but she wasn't surprised by his reaction until he lifted her in his arms and carried her back to their bedroom.

 **(((())))**

Although he'd wanted nothing special again for his birthday as December faded into January, Hermione arranged a special dinner at Stieg's flat for him, inviting the Potters and Malfoys, as well as Patrick and Violet. When they walked to Hogsmeade for their usual Sunday dinner, she knew Severus did not suspect he would be celebrating his birthday, but as soon as they walked up the stairs to the flat, Draco opening the door with Scorpius in his arms, Severus turned to her with a fretted brow and she knew he'd caught on.

"Scorpius has gotten so big!" Hermione kissed Draco's cheek and reached for the blond boy, his face such a pleasant mixture of Draco and Astoria. As they went through the small mudroom to the sitting room, Hermione saw the Potter boys and Teddy, who were playing with Stieg, and found immediately a jealous look on Albus' face because she was holding Scorpius.

"Come over here, then." Sitting on the floor as Albus ran over, she held them both and gave them the licorice she'd brought them and watched as they giggled with each other, their little laughs like music to her ears. Looking back to Severus, she noted him in conversation with Harry and Draco, looking formidable and almost concerned, she wondered what had happened, but Ginny distracted her with a quick intake of breath.

"Contraction?" Hermione asked, reaching out to touch her belly and offer her a seat by the fire.

"Yes, but nothing to be worried about, even though they always come early, this one has some cooking to do, still." Hermione placed a hand on Ginny's stomach and searched her face for pain, hoping it wasn't the baby trying to come as early as her brother's had.

"Cooking? Babies cook?" Teddy joked, his hair turning a spectacular blue, his eyes the same.

"Joke all you want, Edward Remus Lupin, but you'll be wishing this baby was still cooking when you're helping change nappies." Ginny pulled him into a hug and ruffled his hair as she normally did when he was being silly and then led him to the dining room where Stieg had put out the bread and butter, the Shepard's pie and asparagus came through as Hermione took her seat. It was Severus' favorite meal, made with real veal which they didn't get at Hogwarts and for pudding, she'd ordered banoffee pies from his favorite pie shop in London, hoping he would be surprised by that at least.

"Happy birthday, Severus." Her words hit his ears as her mouth kissed his cheek, sitting next to her at the table, finding the children happily singing to him as though he was one of their peers. He hadn't had birthday parties as a child, nor as an adult, and found himself surprised at how much he enjoyed their happiness for him. For once, he didn't seem to mind the attention all directed at him, even if the singing was bad and the waiting for it to end made him slightly nervous. His birthdays had never been celebrated until Hermione came along, aside from a few outings with Lily Evans when they were children, which had all ended after he'd lashed out at her. For a moment, once the singing stopped, he looked to the candle on the cake and made a wish, no a promise really, to endeavor never to hurt Hermione, to never push her away again. As though reading his mind, Hermione leaned down to him and captured him in another kiss, assuaging his mind for the moment as conversation resumed.

"How are you enjoying the new job, Draco?" He'd been promoted from her old job within the Magical Law Enforcement division to controlling the division of creatures.

"I'll miss working with Arthur, but so far, it's been better than working with some of the rather simple ilk in that division. Did you ever work with Frederick Darlington from Ukraine?"

"Actually, no, but we've conversed frequently on potions ingredients many times and he's written loads about jarvies, his particular interest. Why?" Taking the asparagus as it passed, Hermione turned to Draco completely, almost whispering as she did not to annoy the others at the table of ministry talk.

"He's moving to Britain and is working with the department, at least for a few months. I've been running his name through contacts to learn more about him, but so far no one has been familiar with him." Hermione started to respond, but found her attention pulled by Severus over to the children's table where Albus and Scorpius were levitating their potatoes.

"Hogwarts will certainly be a dangerous place if those two remain friends." Harry and Draco acknowledged Severus' words, then returned to their food, though they'd buried the hatchet many years before, there were still old wounds that sometimes made it difficult to be friends. When Hermione turned back to Draco, she found him fretting a bit over Astoria who had excused herself to the washroom and dropped her opinion of Darlington for the banoffee pie.

"Did you get this at Moe's?" Severus asked her after sampling a bite of his favorite dessert.

"Of course, it's your birthday. It's not everyday my husband turns forty-eight and I know it's your favorite." His kiss tasted like whipped cream and bananas. "Besides, you never let me celebrate your birthday really, aside from a card or small present, I knew I had to be a little cunning in my tactics and assuage your annoyance with a sweet gift."

"You have my permission to celebrate my birthday this way in future." She threw her arms around him, practically knocking him back in his chair, but she didn't care, he seemed genuinely happy about his birthday surprise and it was the best gift she could give him.

"Newlyweds." Draco sniped, bringing Scorpius on his lap and sharing his banoffee pie. Astoria came to sit next to them and Hermione watched as Draco placed his arm gently around her, protectively like Severus did when he was nervous or worried about something. The thought passed when she heard Severus lightly snort, eating more of his banoffee pie.

"Tell me when you've seen your godfather so happy to celebrate his birthday and I'll throw myself at you, too." Hermione dared, but Draco relented, a satisfied smirk on both of their faces. The remainder of the evening passed in catching up, though not much had happened since Christmas, they drank cinnamon tea and watched as the kids played with charmed marionette dolls, Hermione listened mostly, watching the interactions between Severus and Stieg, Draco and Patrick, who had surprisingly similar upbringings, and Violet, Ginny, and Astoria talking about children. When everyone left, Hermione and Stieg found themselves in the kitchen cleaning up while Patrick and Severus transfigured the table back to normal size and rearranged the room, both sitting in quiet as Hermione hummed her away around Stieg, washing dishes and stacking them as the dried.

"You seem better, how have your lungs been?"

"Better, for sure, but every now and then I still feel fatigued, as though I cannot sleep enough for ten people, and I cannot seem to get warm enough. On a separate note, Kingsley sent me some paperwork on the cure, apparently the trials are ending by the summer and then the research team will compile the data, I guess I'll be presenting again with final numbers and it will be made public by the Autumn, though I think it's hasty. What?" Hermione paused, wiping her face as though she might have something on it, then folded her arms as he scrutinized her, looking at her like her father always had when she was being stubborn or overworked.

"You must take a break, Hermione, you won't heal if you remain this tightly wound. Perhaps Severus can present for you this summer? I can handle the review of the data for this month, if you would like me too. All you need to be concerned with are your classes and healing." Admonished like a child caught in a lie, Hermione tried to hide her annoyance at not being able to do everything she felt she needed to do, but knew he was right. In her entire life she'd never felt so exhausted or worn down, but the responsibility of her life took precedence in her mind over almost everything else, Severus being the exception.

"I'll be fine by June, but you know I am always happy to work on the data with you. Come to the castle this week and I'll show you what he sent me, or I can come here, I do need to tend the morning glory." Stieg grinned at her, before placing his warm hand on hers, his bright eyes examining her more closely now that they stood beside each other. He could see the stress of her illness in the darkened circles of her eyes; he knew she needed to stop working at full speed.

"You know I have taken care of the morning glory already, my dear, and I will come to the castle, the less you are in this weather the better for your lungs. Besides, I'll get to harass Severus about the new series we're going to sell in February, one of his former classmates has written some interesting essays about Grindelwald." Her interest piqued, Hermione watched as Stieg walked to his table and brought her the works, drying her hands on the towel, she read the first paragraph and then looked back to Stieg.

"You can only read these if you promise to rest tomorrow, no brewing and no research, just read and drink tea." As though they'd been in each others lives all along, Stieg knew how to handle Hermione.

"You're worse than Poppy." She meant it but still hugged him tightly and kissed his cheeks. Severus bundled her up, even though they were going through the floo, and they returned to their quarters. Though Hermione had read many works about Grindelwald, she had never paid much attention to his relationship with the Dumbeldores nor his influence on those like Voldemort or many in Eastern Europe. The images throughout the essay of Grindelwald reminded her of the Malfoys, though his hair didn't quite seem as platinum as Draco or Lucius' hair. Reading about Grindelwald's intimate relationship with Albus Dumbledore didn't quite shock her as much as she thought it would; instead she found herself saddened for her former headmaster, that he'd fallen in love with someone who, in the end, disappointed him. It was obvious that Dumbledore had never loved again or at least not to the veracity of Gellart Grindelwald. Severus finally broke her concentration, taking her hand in his and leading her to their bedroom.

"Did you have a pleasant birthday?" She asked Severus as they changed for bed, her hair in a tight braid and her skin still cool to the touch as though they'd been outside for hours.

"The best of my life." Hermione knew he wasn't being facetious but found herself studying him all the same, though his expression remained practically unreadable, his arms around her made it clear he was pleased with the day.

"You're frozen, here, take this." He pulled away and handed her the medicine she normally took at night, finding herself a bit anemic from being sick and still run down, the potions seemed to warm her right up.

"I'll be glad for Spring." His flannel warmed her before she finally closed her eyes, he remained awake for hours more, worried about her still feeling the effects of her pneumonia, curious as to whether there wasn't something else he could do to improve her health. When she rolled away from him hours later and Minka jumped on the bed, kneading the duvet at his feet, he decided it was no use trying to sleep. Looking back over the information about the trial patients she'd worked with and then her own scans, he could find no connection that proved she'd picked up something unknown from one of the patients, but he then thought about Patrick's natural immunity to so many illnesses and wondered if his rich white blood cells would do anything for Hermione. He sent a quick message to Stieg and then returned to bed, trying not to wake Hermione who seemed to be sleeping far better than she normally did, and finally finding sleep for himself within moments of closing his eyes.

 **((()))**

When students returned a week later, they were glad to have Hermione back as their professor, though it was obvious some missed Stieg's sense of humor, not knowing how lucky they were to have him as a professor at that juncture in his life and not when he was a young professor like Hermione. Although they were completely caught up and on pace, Hermione reviewed some of the material with them before moving on the new potions and theories. It felt good to be back in the laboratory, but it wore her down quickly, making her thankful for the help Stieg and Patrick had offered her.

Though it took them a few tries, Stieg and Severus formulated a restorative potion for Hermione after consulting with Patrick and Hermione's notes on the initial work she'd done for the wolfsbane potion. The infusion she'd managed to make when the potion was simply to suppress the effects of lycanthropy were key to making her feel closer to illness-free, but neither man wanted to admit it might not work.

"Hermione, Stieg and I have been working on something unique for you, but it might not be successful." Severus handed her a vial of restorative medicine he and Stieg had been working on for her, additionally he handed her their research knowing she wouldn't consume a potion she didn't know enough about. After reading through the paperwork, she took the stopper off and swallowed it whole, noting that they'd use the base from the potion she'd made for the cure for lycanthropy, but before she could even imagine to thank them, she felt her throat constricting, her skin burned and she passed out, writhing on the floor in pain and unable to breath. Severus and Stieg immediately jumped into action, both unaware as to why she was having such a dramatic reaction to the potion, though from the welts on her arms, throat, chest, Severus assumed it was an allergic reaction. Without hesitation, he poured an antihistamine potion down her throat, flooing her to the hospital wing as soon as he was sure she had swallowed the antihistamine.

"What in Neptune's name has happened? She was fine an hour ago." Poppy called out as Severus lay Hermione quickly on the same bed she'd spent over a week in.

"We gave her a potion we thought would fix her lung problem, but she's had a reaction." Poppy eyed him oddly, but she knew Severus and Stieg were careful brewers who would never purposely hurt a patient, little alone a spouse. Stieg came through the floo with their research and the ingredient list, putting it in Poppy's hands after she administered a quick dose of epinephrine to Hermione, whose eyes opened, but her throat was still so swollen she couldn't speak.

"Juniper berries? You've given her juniper berries, it's in her file, has been since she entered this school." Hermione nodded quickly, motioning to Poppy that she was correct. Hermione chastised herself for not realizing they'd added juniper berries to her base; she only used the berries for the cure and not for the initial potion, which she thought that they and used.

"But she works with them each time she brews this potion." Stieg countered, looking between Hermione and Poppy.

"She does, but she doesn't ingest them, she cannot even touch them. Have you been with her when she's brewed this?" Severus and Stieg both nodded. "You're both former spies, not terribly observant, though, it's a wonder either of you survived two wars." Hermione's eyes were watering, either from tears or the allergy, they couldn't tell, but she looked like her breathing had steadied.

"Actually, this infernal berry may be the key to her illness in the first place. Hermione, were you using this berry in October, getting ready for the November trials?" She nodded furiously. "And did something happen?" Reaching for the paper Stieg offered, Hermione quickly wrote.

'My gloves broke and even though I washed my hands, I must've touched my face.' Poppy smirked.

"The three of you have given me enough trouble for a lifetime." Hermione tried to wipe her eyes, but found she could barely raise her arms. "You'll need to stay, I'm afraid, until we get this swelling down and then we'll talk about treatment." Poppy ushered Severus and Stieg from the room so she could move Hermione to a cool bath of witch hazel and told them they could check on her a few hours later.

"Those two obviously care about you, Professor Granger, but perhaps a list of your allergies in the lab wouldn't be remiss?"

"I thought Severus remembered from school, I even wear a mask with the juniper berries normally. I guess in October, too much got in my lungs, I was so distracted. And I've been helping brew it recently for more trials, but I guess I didn't think…" Hermione felt foolish, not realizing that her mistakes, ones she wouldn't have normally made, were due to the level of perfection and dedication to all her tasks she'd placed upon herself.

"Obviously." But Poppy's tone was not as cynical as Severus' would be saying the same word. After her relaxing and relieving bath, Hermione returned to the bed and drank more antihistamine before Severus brought her papers to grade and some dinner from the Great Hall.

"I have to say until the hives are down." Taking the papers, Hermione sat with her legs folded and started combing through them.

"I will teach your lessons tomorrow." She noted the look of dismay and sullen tone of his voice as he sat next to her. It was obvious Severus felt incredibly guilty.

"Severus, what you and Stieg did was honorable, you wanted to help me and I sincerely appreciate that." Hermione put her hand over his, pulling at his ring as he finally met her gaze.

"I didn't remember your allergy, we never worked with juniper berries when you were a student."

"Well, I'm allergic to cedar and white oak, as well, just in case we ever need it for a potion or put it in our house." Her gentle laugh made him ease, but she could see that he was going to punish himself for a while before he let it go.

"Look, you tried to free me from my fatigue and gave me a day off, I'd say that's win." Putting the papers aside, Hermione hugged her husband, whose arm went reluctantly around her, the heat of her skin warming his hands instantly. "Now give me a kiss and go eat with the staff before your deputy comes in here and yells at us for caring too much about each other." Severus gave her a quick kiss and stalked out, his robes billowing as they had so often when she was a student in his classes. The next day, she returned to their quarters covered in a protective layer of witch hazel and calamine, and Severus found her lounging on the sofa, finishing her grading and ready to sleep next to him again, lungs clearing and skin finally improving.

Hermione's classes resumed not long after and she felt herself finally falling into a rhythm again. It had taken a few weeks, but she completely caught up on grading, planning, and brewing for the infirmary, all while finally feeling free of the residual effects of the pneumonia. Her energy returned almost full force as February arrived.

(((()))

Lily Luna Potter was born at 12:01 am on Valentine's Day, a week before her due date but long after Ginny Potter believed she would be born. Not only was everyone, except Hermione, surprised she was a girl, but to be born on Valentine's Day had been a real surprise. Hermione and Severus went to St. Mungos early before classes started, leaving the helm with Sinistra and Stieg respectively, hoping to see the Potters before they were released from the hospital. When they finally made it to Ginny's room, they saw that Molly and Arthur were leaving with the boys.

"A girl!" Hermione said, going into the room where Ginny was holding a tiny baby bundled in purple and yellow. Immediately, Hermione noticed the red hair and deep, corkscrew dimples, the same that Albus Severus had.

"Red hair, so much red hair." Harry laughed, hugging Hermione and shaking Severus' hand, as Ginny handed the bundle to Hermione, the immediate feeling of the newborn in her arms reminding her of the births of James and Albus. Happiness immediately pervaded any other feeling she felt.

"How have you done this three times?" Pulling the blanket back a bit, Hermione immediately noticed that Lily had the same expressions as Albus but her red hair stood out the most, red eyelashes and red eyebrows also caught her attention, and a perfect rosebud mouth. She looked exactly like Albus aside from the red hair. It was obvious to her that Severus was far more comfortable with newborns than he had been when James was born because after she'd held Lily for a while, he reached for her of his own volition. Standing and allowing him to sit, Hermione handed her over, kissing her sweet swath of red hair and watching her slowly yawn over Severus' shoulder.

"She looks so much like Albus."

"And her grandmother." Severus added, all knowing he didn't mean Molly Weasley. Hermione looked to Harry who had the same solemn expression on his face that Severus did- somehow having a girl made them both react differently this time. Hermione went to Ginny for a moment, hugging her softly and kissing her cheek.

"It's your turn now, you know." Ginny joked, loud enough to catch Severus' attention.

"When Hermione is completely well." Severus looked up to both women who were clearly shocked by his words, and then stood with Lily, bringing her back to her mother and regrettably handing her over.

"Congratulations, she's truly gorgeous. Did the boys love her?" Hermione asked.

"James asked if he really needed another sibling and Albus immediately kissed her, he wanted to take her to the Burrow to show her to Grandma and Grandpa, who were just outside the room. I have a feeling he will be her protector. Teddy is coming later with Neville, thanks for that, Severus." Hermione kissed Lily one more time and then hugged Harry tightly.

"It's not every day one gains a new family member, although in this family it does seem to be more frequently." They all had a good chuckle, then it was back to Hogwarts. Hermione and Severus stepped through the floo, going first to the G and T and then walking to Hogwarts slowly through Hogsmeade. Her steps were measured, her brain completely consumed by baby Lily Luna, as she tucked her arm into Severus'.

"Do you think we're really ready for all that?" Hermione asked when they were a few steps from the gates, stopping him for a moment as snow started falling.

"I did brew the potions for you, if that is an answer."

"Yes, you brewed me potions, but…"

"I meant what I said, when you are well and if you are ready, take the potions." He'd stepped closer to her and pulled her lips towards his. "I look forward to the day when you tell me the potions have worked." Hermione was shocked by his admission, but even more so by his kiss so close to the gates of the school. He rarely showed affection within viewing distance of students, who were most certainly awake and bustling around.

"Very well, then." Turning back towards the school, Hermione followed her husband with thoughts of Lily Luna Potter on her brain, completely lost in thought as she wound herself down the stairs to her classroom and eventually relieved Stieg, who promised her he would be happy to take her classes. Although Hermione had been thinking about her possible child with Severus for years, she wasn't quite sure how they would manage on between their work schedules and the store, would she have to take off a semester or more? Who would help watch the child when she did work and how would it be to have a child, an infant at Hogwarts? Trying to recall when Albus had stayed with them, Hermione fixated on the calm she'd felt when he left, knowing they'd made it work, though school hadn't been in session then. Turning to Stieg before he left the room, she motioned him over.

"If Severus and I have a child…" But she couldn't ask all of her questions without looking foolish, in her mind at least, so she waved him off. "I'm just hormonal, Lily is the sweetest thing and Severus said he was ready." Stieg smiled as only he could and Hermione was reminded it had been six months since his promise to her, to give life a good try.

"Then I will be happy man, if you two have a child. Children are truly a gift and a great responsibility, and I'll be happy to help any way I can. What is your concern?" His blue eyes twinkled like Father Christmas as he watched her fighting within herself.

"I only have about a thousand." She whispered as students filtered past them; Stieg took her hand and led her through the lab to her office, forcing her to sit and calling for tea.

"It's just, this is the closest we've ever been to actually trying, I'm worried we're too busy or we have too much going on...what if I'm too selfish now, that I've devoted my life to potions so much I cannot be a proper mother?" As an elf brought in the tea tray, Stieg poured them both a cup and offered her a chocolate biscuit.

"Ah, the plight of mothers. Rarely a man asks himself the same questions. Look, you and Severus will not be traditional parents, your child will be raised in a castle surrounded by more people than most children meet in a lifetime, but you will make it work as you always do. If you need to take a semester or two off, Severus can hire someone, and if you're worried about working, look at your schedule, your child would be in someone's care for three to four periods a day, that's far less than most kids and finding care for the child will be easy. If those are your concerns, you should feel at ease." Biting into another biscuit, Hermione nodded quietly and then sipped her tea, trying to take in his words.

"I'm just shocked, I think. I guess I never expected Severus to be ready, but he truly is...I mean he brewed me a conception potion as a Christmas present." Her hand shook slightly as she raised the teacup to her lips.

"If you aren't ready, he will understand."

"I am, I think, just nervous and completely terrified." Stieg chuckled and finished his tea, taking a biscuit from the tray as he watched her mind turn.

"That's completely normal, imagine how you'll feel when you actually get pregnant. When Daniella told me she was pregnant with Sean Patrick I drank for two straight days in terror, it's normal." Hermione finally smiled at him, imagining Severus' facial expression when she finally told him they were expecting...she was almost giddy with joy thinking about it.

"Thank you, I feel so much better."

"It's what I do." Hugging him tightly, she heard the next class coming in so she finished her tea and kissed his cheek, walking out to meet her seventh year Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, who were surprised to see her instead of Professor Davenport, who they must've expected from the previous classes rumors. Turning to them as they sat, she opened her notes to NEWT levels works, starting them on the practical uses of witch hazel, something she'd become all too familiar with over the previous weeks, and got them started on brewing an acne cure.

That evening at dinner in the Great Hall, Hermione watched as Neville and Teddy returned, both looking as happy as she'd felt when they left St. Mungos that morning, so she turned to Severus who was talking to Patrick about the new suppliers for glass vials they'd been ordering for the store, and waited for the pause she knew would come because Severus rarely talked at dinner if he could avoid it, but she was wrong that evening, he and Patrick conversed so long she excused herself and went to their quarters. She composed a quick letter to Harry and Ginny congratulating them again and then fell asleep on the sofa waking when Severus came through two hours later. Falling into bed after brushing her hair and teeth, Hermione completely forgot what she'd wanted to say to him until his pulled her close, his hand traveling up her shirt like a randy teenager.

"After the conference this summer, I think."

"What?" He had obviously not been dwelling on their earlier conversation quite like she had all day. Hermione did overthink things most of the time.

"I think that's when we should try, after the conference, that way I can take it easy over the summer and we'll have time to get things in order. Plus we'll have been married half a year by then." He didn't immediately reply with words, but removed her clothes painstakingly slowly, eyeing her the entire time.

"As you wish." He finally said, removing his trousers.

"I love you, Severus." Hermione pulled his shirt off, smoothing her hands against his chest before pushing him back on the bed and climbing on top of him.

"I love you more." He replied, making her smile wickedly at him. Neither knew it would be a short Easter sojourn to visit Grimmauld Place for an extended weekend wherein Hermione actually got pregnant, almost three months before she'd actually planned, her contraceptive potion corrupted by the treatment for her allergies Poppy had given her. Her hormones had been wicked that weekend surrounded by the love of her Potter family, the sweet boys and Lily, and her husband who continued to surprise her daily.

(((()))

The morning Hermione finally suspected she was pregnant was not due to morning sickness or even fatigue, it was Severus' smell. Normally, she loved the way he smelled and longed to be near him often just to smell his natural musk with the aftershave he used with bergamot and sandalwood, but the morning of the NEWT exams, Hermione knew something was off. She'd been quite off for a while, but she attributed it to her potions and the stress from getting students prepared for the exams, and though she'd missed her period for two months, that had happened to her before, so she hadn't even considered she was pregnant, in fact Poppy had to perform the spell three times before she could believe it was true.

"You'll be due at the end of December, perfect timing." Hermione blinked and nodded, completely in shock. "Your potions are all safe but you'll need to add these for gestational health and make sure Severus helps you in and out of a bath if you take one, don't soak for more than ten minutes unless it's infrequently. Any questions?" Hermione was still staring blankly at the wall, but looked at Poppy again when she heard the mediwitch cast an amplifying spell, the tiny heartbeat beating rapidly. Hermione's eyes filled with tears.

"Congratulations, dear." Without a pause, Hermione thanked Poppy and took her potions back to her rooms, wondering how she would tell Severus they were having baby; she was thankful it was Sunday, but knowing she had to meet Severus to walk to the G and T shortly, she decided she would tell him after dinner. He deserved to know before Stieg, but Hermione hadn't thought about the actual dinner or how differently she would have to consider things now that she knew she was pregnant. She'd had wine, soft cheese, and seafood since she must've gotten pregnant. As Stieg brought out the carbonara he'd made, she exhaled, thankful she wouldn't have to say anything about the food, but then he brought out wine, and she tried to avoid it as long as she could, both the wine and Severus' scent forcing bile to rise in her throat.

"Excuse me." She left the table barely making it to the washroom before throwing up the little carbonara she'd already eaten. Tears instantly flooded her eyes as they always did when she vomited. She turned immediately to the door as Severus came in, helping her wipe her face and smoothing the errant wisps of hair around her face.

"I've been waiting for you to tell me all evening." He whispered against her, pulling her hair into a bun and kissing her lips, even with vomit breath. "Poppy came to me before we left to walk, thinking you'd already told me."

"I wanted to tell you when we got home tonight by casting the spell to hear the heartbeat. It's glorious." Hermione pushed him away slightly and cast the spell, watching his eyes as the heartbeat reverberated through the washroom, the acoustics alerting everyone inside and out of the room to the new life.

"You are going to be a father, a little earlier than we thought. Are you pleased?" Stopping the spell, Hermione threw herself into his arms and held him tightly, though it was difficult because the aftershave was making her stomach turn again. When she pulled away, she saw how happy he was and how dearly he loved her, so clearly in his eyes that her hormonal heart burst.

"There are not words; I never believed I would have all this, at no point in my life." Severus kissed her again, holding her softly in his arms but flush against his body, feeling the tiny shaking of her crying.

"You two mind telling the rest of the flat so we can celebrate openly?" She heard Stieg say through the door. Severus took her hand and led her back to the table.

"We're expecting, due in December." Severus turned to her, he hadn't known exactly when she was due yet, and did the math in his brain. She was certainly further along that he'd thought she was at first.

"Congratulations!" Patrick and Violet said in unison, as Stieg toasted them, looking to his former apprentice with an air of fatherly love, how he normally looked at Hermione.

"We'll have so much to celebrate come Christmas." Severus still hadn't said anything, thinking she was much earlier in the pregnancy than she was, but grinned as only he could towards her and took her hand in his, running his thumb across her palm.

"I need to owl Ginny and Harry, they always tell us so soon." Stieg brought her a quill and parchment, watching as Hermione composed a short, but truly sweet missive to them, and then used the shop owl to send it away. By the time Hermione and Severus made it back to Hogwarts, they had replied as congratulatory as Stieg and family had been. Although she was still in shock, Hermione felt herself warming greatly to the tiny being in her abdomen and though she knew it was too soon, she looked at herself in the mirror, trying to see if there was any difference in her belly. Severus watched her from the washroom door, finally coming behind her and placing his hand on the small of her stomach.

"You are going to be glorious, let me hear it again." Hermione reached for her wand and the both waited for the steady thumping of the fetus' heart, it was still an oddity, one that Hermione could listen to for hours.

"We can see a muggle doctor to get a sonogram, if you'd like, it's a picture…"

"I know what a sonogram is, and St. Mungos does them now." Hermione jumped to kiss his cheek, and then pulled on her pajamas, slightly cold with the stone floor. Minka curled around her legs as she walked to their bedroom.

"I should've known at least a month ago, Minka has been sleeping on my stomach, like she slept on my back when I was sick. She knew...I wish you'd clued me in, cat." Crawling into bed with Severus, Hermione was too giddy to sleep.

"Do you like the name Evangeline?" She asked, curling her arm around his waist.

"I do, but don't you think we should consider that it might be a boy?" Hermione thought about it for a moment and then turned back to him.

"I am, I was just curious about Evangeline because I apparently chose that name for a girl in a feverish state and if we don't like it, I don't want to consider it at all."

"I'm partial to old fashioned names, not quite as old as mine or maniacal for example."

"Yes, Severus is rather severe. I assume you don't care to pass down Tobias?" He snorted and tickled her side, she was glad he was happy as she was, even if they were both shocked.

"How about Samuel or Matthias?"

"Let us allow the reality that we will be parents soon to sink in for a while and then we can decide on names, agreed?" But Hermione wanted to get the easy things out of the way, names didn't seem to matter as much to her as the actual logistics of having a child.

"Alright, but those are my suggestions, Headmaster Snape." Kissing him and hoping she could fall asleep at some point that night, Hermione turned away from him and stared at the wall, petting Minkas as she jumped up to join them and sighed contentedly.

"They are fine names, Hermione, now go to sleep. I won't have Poppy haranguing me for abusing my wife again this semester." Hermione turned back to him as he leaned over to kiss her.

"I love you so much, Severus, I didn't think it was possible to love you more and I know I sound ridiculous, but I do, I love you more than I ever thought I'd love another person." When he heard her words, he fell back on his elbow and tried to fathom how lucky he was to have her when he'd been so miserable most of his life. He couldn't respond in the moment, he simply held her tightly, kissing her lips and then her neck, wishing he had married her sooner, that he hadn't been so stubborn and fearful, but thankful she'd married him at all. Resting his hand on her abdomen, they eventually drifted off to sleep and awoke to a beautiful basket of gifts from Stieg and an invitation to tea for afternoon.


	22. Chapter 22

**AN: One sad event in this chapter concerning diabetes and kidney failure. I imagined it like the movie, Steel Magnolias, when Shelby died after having Jackson. We're getting into the home stretch folks. I have some editing to do to this one, but overall it hits all the points I wanted it to. Thank you for reading and reviewing!**

 **Chapter 22**

The remainder of May passed quickly, flowing easily and quickly into June when students departed for summer break and the professors finalized grades, made plans for the next term, and generally celebrated the quiet and peace that accompanied the empty castle. For the first trimester, Hermione was lucky not to experience typical morning sickness, but but find that her head ached if she didn't eat more for breakfast than she normally did, which made Severus eager to ensure she was taking care of herself. They spent most of their days in their quarters or at the G and T prepping for the conference and visiting with Stieg who kept them apprised of future opportunities not only for their potions but also for the academic side of the store, the hosting of leaders in the fields in intrigue and also his work in the research of the Black family. Often, Ginny would bring the Potter children to the store and they'd all have lunch together in Stieg's flat or on the roof, Severus erecting a barrier around the roof to make sure none of them happened to run off the edge or get too excited and fly too close to the ledge. Although she felt completely unprepared for the conference that year, it didn't overwhelm Hermione as much as it would have had it been any other year. She still planned and went through data with her typical veracity, she just didn't allow herself to obsess.

They decided to take a ferry to Belgium for conference in Bruges, though it was supposed to be safer for Hermione she found that the simple rocking of the boat made her queasy throughout, though she never actually vomited. The first hour they played cards in one of the many lounges, then ates bacon and cheese baps with potato cakes and tea for Severus and Stieg, juice for Hermione. It didn't take long for the food to disagrees with her, so she moved outside and watched as they moved steadily from Britain and towards Belgium. Standing at the edge of the ferry, Hermione looked over to the coastline of Belgium as they moved steadily closer after having been moving for over three hours, trying to keep her eye on the horizon and let the sporadic breeze cool her before they had to disembark and drive to their hotel. Severus brought her glasses of cold water and fanned her face, pulling her hair back into a loose plait, and gently blowing on her neck to keep her from vomiting. When they'd planned to attend the conference, Hermione hadn't expected to be pregnant, so it took a little logistical planning as she knew apparating or portkeying in the first trimester was dangerous. It had been years since she'd driven, but Stieg offered to drive them since he was more familiar with it having driven most places in Romania. Once they left the ferry, Hermione, Severus, and Stieg walked towards their rented car, Hermione laughed as Severus looked about as terrified as someone about to meet the guillotine once they started towards Bruges.

"I still think the Ministry is moving this all too quickly; we have a year's worth of data but some of the potions they've made marketable took five or more years." Hermione unbraided her hair quickly as they wound their way through the Belgian countryside and watched the men in the front seats.

"They are releasing it to make their job easier. It frees an entire department up and shifts positions; any way they can cut the bureaucratic fat, they will." Hermione agreed quickly and remained contemplative and quiet for the remainder of the ride. When they arrived at the hotel, all three freshened up and then went to dinner in the restaurant; for the first time in four years, Piers Devon was not the chairperson but he was still present and as smarmy as ever. As they finished their salads, he came over to their table, Hermione elbowed Severus in the side and then excused herself from the table to avoid him as much as possible. They had only told family and friends about the pregnancy and since she was still getting queasy from certain smells, she just didn't want his false congratulations. When she returned, he was still at the table, but she ate in silence and only nodded or smiled when he asked her things, lucky he was too immersed in conversation with Stieg to notice.

Later that evening after a quick stroll around Bruges to see the waterfront and peek in a few churches, Hermione and Severus made their way back to the hotel, lounging for a while on the sofa, Hermione reading through her notes for the last presentation she planned to give on the Lycanthropy cure and Severus looked over budgets for the next year, earmarking the money Hermione had set aside for potions fellows and then reminding himself to look through the applications for her junior 'd certainly need help now that there would be a baby in the mix of their planning. When the natural light was gone, Severus set his paperwork aside and pulled Hermione into his arms, thankful the fears, misconceptions, and drama of previous years was delightfully subdued this year and they could simply enjoy their passion for potions and each other. He held for for a half hour or so before she fell asleep against his chest, the soft cadence of her breath almost lulling him to sleep as well. Knowing they'd both be stiff and sore in the morning, he gently roused his groggy wife and helped her to bed, folding the covers back and folding her onto the mattress as though he had to do it every night, joining her shortly, her toes finding his as they usually did at some point during their slumber; he wished her feet weren't always so bloody cold. Before extinguishing all of the lights, he studied her face, her incredibly long eyelashes and freckled nose; her nose was pert and perfect, he loved how it suited her face, how she scrunched it up when she disagreed with someone, had a question she could barely contain, or when she wanted desperately to correct someone but held back. He traced the line of her face from her temple to her chin, going along her soft cheek and jawline, wondering how he could ever tell her no or their child, if it was anything like her. Severus was suddenly overwhelmed with affection for his wife and child and completely terrified. Trying to push his fears down, he leaned into her, pulling as closely as he could, and kissing the lin he'd traced on her skin, hoping his fears would dissolve before he inadvertently hurt her again. But he quickly became possessive and protective of her, the first faint glimpses occuring at the conference and continuing when they returned to Scotland.

 _ **((()))**_

The next day, Hermione presented the final data and findings with the help of Stieg who took many of the questions for her, making the task far easier than she had anticipated when they'd been planning the presentation at the end of May. Scanning the crowd, Hermione found some familiar faces, and after most of the people had left, Stieg introduced her to the elusive Frederick Darlington who had in fact moved to Britain and was working Draco Malfoy at the Ministry. They ate lunch together and then they all attended a conference on Egyptian cottonwood before departing early so they could get back to Britain for James' fourth birthday. It felt like a huge weight was gone from Hermione's life, four years of work and research completed and yet she still felt that there was more to learn from Patrick's immunity and the community of Deva, Romania. Perhaps when she was able to devote time to extensive research again, she and Severus could go to Romania and live amongst the villagers to understand their unique chemistry. On the ferry back to Britain, Hermione thought about the balance between their academic lives and personal lives, trying to avoid over-thinking and obsessing but finding herself still questioning how she would be able to balance it all when it was clear that even Ginny struggled with it.

That evening after getting ready for bed, Hermione wrote about the conference in her journal and then tried to find sleep, but her mind raced and she had a tune she couldn't get out of her brain, so she walked down to the kitchen for a late snack. Winky brought her some warm biscuits fresh from the oven and a glass of milk; Hermione had given up coffee and tea, unless it was herbal, and most of the time drank water or milk, though she did miss her coffee and tea tremendously. Rubbing her stomach, she went back to her quarters and found Severus awake on the couch. She'd noticed that he'd been physically distant from her for weeks, touching her only when necessary and even then, rarely.

"Sorry, I should've left a note." She remarked as his cold sneer hit her, obviously worried about her.

"Yes, please." Folding his paper, Severus motioned for her to take the seat next to him, putting his arm around her shoulder as she did and giving her a gentle squeeze.

"Trouble sleeping?"

"Yes, the baby must be growing or my hormones are changing because all I want to do is jump your bones or cry, there's no in between." Running his fingers across her abdomen, Severus stopped when she said she wanted to jump him, then pulled her up, helping her to their room where he used a combination of lavender and lemon balm, lifting her pajama top and having her lie on her stomach long enough to spread the mixture.

"That smells heavenly, thank you." But it wasn't the smell alone she enjoyed, Severus hadn't touched her intimately since they'd found out she was pregnant and she was getting rather frustrated. As first it had been fine because his smell repulsed her, but then she began to miss him and longed for more than sweet caresses of her belly or braiding her hair. She was beginning to think he viewed her as a fragile being.

"You know Poppy says I'm completely cleared for everything now." But she heard no response from him aside from a snort and then her shirt being pulled back over her shoulder. Turning her, he kissed her lips and then turned away from her, but Hermione was still too awake to rest and annoyed with him, so she rolled out of the bed and went to the sitting room, opening her post and pretending not to sethe. That night, when she finally fell asleep, her dreams were incredibly erotic, all the things she wanted to do with Severus and have done to her, but it was unfulfilled. Unfortunately, things didn't much improve before James' birthday and by the time Hermione was able to talk to Ginny about her frustrations, she was ready to boil over.

 _ **((()))**_

They flooed to Grimmauld Place as Hermione had been cleared by Poppy for magical travel, but to say things were tense would be putting it mildly. Hermione had snapped at her husband several times that morning before they made it to the sitting room at Grimmauld Place, where Albus and James greeted them as soon as they came through. Severus kissed her cheek before going to find Teddy and Harry out in the garden, leaving his wife fuming.

"He treats me like a child, I've never been told not to eat something or how long to sit or soak in the tub...I had no idea he'd be a dictator about this...and now, he doesn't even…touch me" Hermione swallowed her lemonade slowly looking around the gardens from her vantage point with Ginny at the chairs. She looked to Severus who was playing a game of chess with Teddy and Harry who was watching James and Albus fly on their brooms.

"Was Harry ever like this?" Lily made a sharp sound as Ginny shifted her on her lap, eventually handing her over to Hermione who was happy to hold the five-month old. For a moment, all was right in Hermione's life when she was holding Lily; the soft and sweet baby made her long to hold her baby.

"Only with James, but even then he was more worried about me because I was still playing quidditch, when that ended he was fine. Did you talk him about it?" Blowing raspberries on Lily's cheeks, Hermione laughed as well when Lily tried to copy her, blowing raspberries on her hand.

"Sort of, but he is so matter-of-fact about everything and he used to listen to my opinions before he shot them down, now it's as though nothing that comes out of my mouth concerning this child could possibly be correct." Hermione's eyes misted and Ginny could see that she was genuinely distraught and thoroughly overwhelmed.

"Well, you know my advice about him is almost always the same; talk to him, make Poppy talk to him, you know ignoring it or being passive just doesn't work." Sighing, Hermione lifted Lily up and twirled her a bit before snuggling her close again, eyeing Severus once again who was watching her from across the table where it looked as though Teddy was beating him at chess. Hermione couldn't help but feel resentful as he enjoyed James's birthday treats, sipped wine, and enjoyed the day without anyone reminding him several times to have a seat or to avoid certain foods. Even though she knew she needed to be forward, she wanted to give him a taste of his own medicine, so she sat and devised a plan; a plan to make him see what she experienced in one day of his henpecking.

"You look positively devilish, Hermione, what have you done?" Ginny's blue eyes glowed with possible mischief.

"I'm going to give Severus a taste of his own medicine." Ginny looked between them and laughed, Hermione was certainly determined to teach Severus a lesson, even if he had her best interest at heart.

They left the Potters after dinner so Hermione could make it to a quick appointment with Poppy about measurements and then she met Severus in their quarters. Although she had planned to work through some correspondence she'd been putting off, she found Severus comfortably lounged on the sofa, so she grabbed her journal instead and wrote down the information Poppy had given her about the baby, making sure to note that she was measuring on track and that all of her vitals were normal. An hour into writing, mostly expressing her desires to find someone appropriate to watch the baby for the semester after it was born, even if it was a few hours a day she knew it would be a task for sure if Severus was already so protective of them when she was pregnant. Finally, as they were getting ready for bed, Hermione began her plan of attack, commenting on Severus' teeth brushing, an area where she had more experience with dentists as parents, and found his response surly as per usual. Then, when they got into bed, she fluffed his pillow and made sure he was lying on his side.

"You know they recommend sleeping with a pillow between your legs because it helps with spinal curvature. Would you like one?" Hermione offered him her pillow and then stuffed one between hers, breathing deeply as she stretched her arms out and kissed him.

"You're awfully chatty tonight." He finally replied, refusing her pillow but placing a few fingers in her hair, making Hermione's hormones rage even more.

"Just read a few interesting things today. Did you see how big Lily is getting? I think Alby was jealous because I held her for so long, but she's just so sweet. By the way, who won your chess match?" Shifting so she could see more of his face, Hermione felt her back relax into the mattress and for the first time in weeks, she finally felt tired.

"Teddy won, I was distracted." His lip curled ever so slightly.

"Distracted?" Hermione teased, her hands playing with the fabric of his nightshirt.

"You and Lily." Severus saw only the baby's grandmother when he looked into her tiny face, Lily Evans was just as lovely, just as happy. He felt guilty for a moment, thinking of Lily while stroking his wife's hair.

"She is such a doll; it's so hard to remember the boys that small." Shifting her leg slightly, she pulled his closer,but found that he was still being obstinate about affection. Did he really imagine they would go six more months without being intimate? Miffed and unable to express herself without saying things she knew she'd regret, Hermione turned away from him. It was one thing for him to want her safety, it was another to be rejected physically; she worried it would just get worse as she grew larger with child. When he reached into her hair, Hermione squeezed her eyes shut, the dichotomy of it all taking her breath away. He could touch her for comfort, but when she did she noticed his physical wince. She almost couldn't take another moment of his hands in her hair, but she sighed and tried to stop her eyes from filling, from her fears spilling over and making her leave the bed.

The next day, Hermione continued her pieces of advice, reminding him about brushing, popping into meetings to remind him to eat, walking next to him down the stairs warning about twisted ankles and broken shins, finding him positively miffed by the time dinner came. But for every one of her pieces of advice, he had two, as though more prepared than her by half and ready to best her at every they went to bed, the same routine repeated like clockwork, Hermione reached for him and found his wince, the same sore expression as though her touch burned him.

"That's it!" She yelled, throwing her covers off and storming towards the sitting room, pulling her robe around her and then going to the spare room for a moment looking for the soft blanket she'd let Teddy use when he'd stayed with them the last night of term.

"Stop your pouting and come to bed, Hermione." He stood arms crossed and scowl with his white nightshirt glaringly bright.

"No, I will not. You are treating me like a child and I cannot take a moment more." Flipping through her journal, Hermione made note of the letter she received from the Board of Potioneers about her final formula for the cure and then an invitation to Scorpius Malfoy's birthday. "Standing there is not going to make me move, Severus." She continued writing, looking over her calendar, noting that she needed to go to the G and T and help Stieg organize the nursery in the top flat where he would help watch the baby when he was able. Finally, she felt Severus take a seat next to her, reaching for her hand, but she refused.

"Am I so repulsive?" She asked, her eyes starting to water, she could handle the advice, the constant reminders if he still acted like he wanted her every now and then, but it had been months.

"Hermione…"

"So I am? We are two days from the second trimester and Poppy completed my scans, my lungs are completely clear, all my measurements are good, and yet when I come in here, you barely look at me. I didn't even think to worry having a baby would ruin your attraction to told me I would be glorious and I feel fat and grubby from it right now." Shoving her journal and correspondence onto the end table, Hermione went to the washroom and washed her face which was littered with tears, blotchy and red. She felt foolish; what had happened to those words of her being glorious? Her hormones felt out of control as she wiped her face one more, trying to rationalize her feelings, knowing that she'd jumped to conclusions before that were incorrect, but it was undeniable that he'd shied from her touch many times. Finally opening the door, she found him still on the sofa, his thumb and index finger pinching the bridge of his nose, she hated adding to his stress and suddenly felt foolish. Why couldn't she have approached him in a calm manner? Why had she let herself get so riled up?

"Severus, I'm hormonal and I want you, I want you all the time. I haven't expressed myself well and I shouldn't have teased you all day, but I…" As though compelled by a magnet, Severus stood and took her hands in his, staring fiercely into her eyes.

"Please don't push me away." She cried as she released his hands and wrapped her arms around him. Hermione had never had to beg him for physical intimacy and now when things seemed uncertain, she felt incredibly small and unloved.

"I don't want to push you away but I didn't want to hurt you. Poppy told me to be careful with 's my job to protect you, the both of you."

"Meaning, don't take me against a stone wall or cane me, not don't touch me for six months. And I know you mean well, I really do and I love you for it, but if you tell me one more time not to sleep on my stomach or not to eat raw seafood or soft cheese, I will scream." She felt him tense and when she pulled back she could see his raw emotion, something akin to worry and devotion.

"You are stubborn." He finally said, brushing his lips against hers and pulling her tight again.

"I know I am, but I know my limitations, I will not endanger myself or our child, I promise." Hermione had never expected him to be so overbearing and though on some level it was endearing, she also felt pressure that was not coupled with the intimate part of their relationship, a certain recipe for disaster in her book.

"If you're really worried, Poppy told me to send you her way." Hermione teased the hem of his pajama pants and then nibbled his earlobe, hitting as many of his erogenous zones as possible.

"You filthy tease, you've been toying with me all month; get in the bed." He commanded, smacking her bum as she walked away, having finally broken through his fears. Undressing as she moved across the room, Hermione found him eager but still behaving like it was their first time, as though they were timid teenagers and he was worried he'd break her. And though, ultimately, he was gentle, the closeness of their bodies, the sounds and sighs of their coupling, eased Hermione's mind so completely that she finally slept through the night, waking only in the morning with Severus' hand lodged firmly between her breasts, which she promptly took advantage of since he seemed to be waking as well. When they finally made it to breakfast, Hermione could sense the smile that wouldn't leave her face and for the first time in age, she could even stand the way he smelled, in fact she craved it. The remainder of the day, whenever he was near, Hermione touched him, his arms, his hands, his face, anything he would allow just to remind herself that he did want her touch as much as she wanted his.

 _ **(((())))**_

Stieg was compelled to attend Hermione's eighteen week check up when Severus was called to the Ministry for an emergency meeting with the Board of Governors. Assuring her that they healers always took longer than they scheduled, Severus handed her off to Stieg and she watched him take the lift to another floor as she and Stieg took the floo to St. Mungos. Severus had been right, they did wait an inordinate amount of time to see the healer but when she was called back, she couldn't deny she was disappointed that he hadn't made it back in time. A healer came to collect she and Stieg, who she said was her father, and they were shown to a quaint room, normally meant for children as evidenced by the amount of toys strewn about. When her healer returned, she gave him all of the information Poppy had given her, including the early scans of her lungs and gestational scans.

"Everything looks wonderful and on track, Hermione. Do you have any questions before we do the sonogram?"

"Should I be worried that my body doesn't seem to be changing much? I thought by now my stomach would be a little different or even my breasts, it all seems the same." Hermione bashfully looked to Stieg, she needn't have worried about embarrassing him as he'd been through it all before. She'd asked Severus almost everyday to note any changes he saw; he'd pretend to exam her breasts, to move his hands gently across her abdomen, and tell her that she simply looked like she'd had a large meal.

"You will start noticing more changes, but every woman's body is different. Right now, the baby is positioned further back in the uterus, so someone as lean as you are might not notice much change, but soon you'll see a difference. All of your hormone levels and measurements are normal." Hermione watched in awe as his wand rested over her abdomen, projecting the image of the baby onto the wall. Immediately, Hermione could see the tiny heart beating rapidly, the hands moved like it was casting a spell, and then the profile, a tiny pert nose like hers and soft, pouty lips like his; it was all she could do not to cry. Stieg took her hand and squeezed it as the door opened, finding a stunned Severus coming into the room. He looked first to Hermione and then to the image on the wall.

"You just made it, Headmaster Snape. Your baby is measuring perfectly, exactly what we want to see for eighteen weeks and we're getting quite a show. Would you like to know the sex?" The healer asked, Hermione reached for Severus' hand.

"Severus?" Her voice pleaded, yes there were few instances in life wherein a surprise was likely, but they'd both had many surprises in life and Hermione was ready to know. He nodded, they both did and they waited.

"Odd, suddenly the baby has turned. Hold on." The healer repositioned his wand and pointed it to a different part of Hermione's abdomen, casting the same spell and projecting an image neither Hermione nor the gentlemen in the room could quite make out.

"Hmmm...it seems this little being doesn't want you to know just yet. We can check again in four weeks. Otherwise, keep taking your potions and eat and drink plenty of water." Disappointed for a moment, Hermione sat up and thanked the healer, relieved everything was still on track.

"Stubborn like the both of you." Stieg joked, helping Hermione put her light robes on and then walked with them out of the room. Hermione grabbed the moving images the spell had produced from the shelf and stared at them as they left, tucking them softly into her journal and then going through the floo to the G and T, depositing on of the moving images behind the register.

"I'm glad you were able to make it, what did they want?"

"Sinistra has resigned, I'll be offering her teaching position to Violet Carmichael but they made me pick a deputy on the spot, so I chose Babbling as Filius would like to retire at the end of this year and the others are too young." Hermione stifled a laugh.

"You were thirty-seven when you became headmaster, you know."

"Yes, against my will and none of you are close to thirty-seven, even. Longbottom would've been my next choice, but even he has a young family to consider. We've become a school of professors who marry and have children." Leaning between his legs as he sat on the counter stool, Hermione kissed him quickly and then laced her arms around his chest, balancing herself with her hands clasped.

"And why has Sinistra resigned?"

"The divorce went through, she wants to teach in South America, her mother's family are from Guyana as it were. It wasn't a surprise, really." Stieg brought two boxes through from the post to the archives where he was still combing through the Black family materials.

"Scorpius' birthday is tomorrow, but I cannot attend so I sent ahead a gift and our regrets. Ginny is taking the kids." Severus made a face and it reminded her of his birthday, when she saw Harry and Draco in deep conversation.

"What's going on?" She asked, as Severus' arms dropped, releasing her almost instantly, thankfully she was still holding on to him.

"We should find a way to go, Draco is concerned about Astoria." Hermione's face fell, wondering what could possibly be wrong with the woman who always seemed quite healthy and happy.

"Astoria? Stop being vague, Severus." He was obviously trying to avoid spoiling their afternoon, but he could see that Hermione wasn't going to let it go.

"Astoria has type-1 diabetes, she's had it since she was a toddler, and when they had Scorpius, it put an unbearable strain on her kidneys, she's failing and even though she's had a transplant, things aren't going well." Hermione released him and stepped back, feeling the weight of his words and finally understanding why, at least partially, he was being so protective of her.

"Poor Draco, no wonder he's been so distant. I have some research on kidney transplants from my time at the Ministry, when Dietrich Harrelson died, do you think he'd want to see it?" Severus nodded softly and watched as she immediately went to the door, beginning her walk to Hogwarts with a mission in mind. It worried her that Severus had hidden the information, but she knew he was like that often when he felt the information would do more harm than good. Immediately, she sent a note to Ginny asking to bring her gift even though they would be attending and then sending one to Draco saying they would be able to come after all if it wasn't too late, receiving messages from both within the hour. Ginny was happy they could go and Draco responded that she and Severus were always welcome. After that, Hermione poured herself into research, looking into the information she had from the Harrelson case and the other diseases she'd studied, diabetes acting much like other debilitating illnesses she had encountered while trying to cure lycanthropy. The library had a few texts that gave her answers about the possible failure of the transplant, but really even in the best circumstances, organ transplants were rarely successful in magical folks. Stopping for dinner when Winky came through, Hermione thought about the infection that had caused Astoria's diabetes itself, the virus that had ravaged her body enough to destroy an organ essential to life.

"Why didn't you tell me this was why you were so concerned about me?" Hermione asked as Severus cleared his throat from across the room.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't be thick. Astoria is dying because pregnancy ruined her kidneys, it doesn't take a mathematician to add those odds." Hermione tapped the quill at the edge of her mouth, reading about two insulin potions and one bypass if there was still a functioning kidney.

"Perhaps it concerned me." Severus knew he couldn't lie to Hermione, and truly he wasn't because there had been many reasons for his obsession with her safely.

"It's natural, dear, and I love how much you care, but I wish you'd told me. I could've been researching." He slammed his book shut.

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you, you're throwing yourself head first into this thinking, optimistically, that you may save her, but it's too late and you'll just disappoint and wear yourself out." Hermione scowled, one rivaling his own, and moved to face toward the wall and away from him.

"I know I am not a healer, but I can believe doing some research won't hurt anything. If I happen across something that might help her, wouldn't that be better than doing nothing? You know me better than that, I hope, I cannot sit idly by if I can be doing something. I'm not hurting myself and I won't be hurting your heir, I promise." Her tone was clipped as she wrote down the ingredients for a potion meant to help cleanse the blood faster with one working kidney, the scratching of her quill the only sound in the room for many seconds until Severus stood and put his arms around her, kissing her neck tenderly as he did.

"You are far more compassionate than I remember to give you credit for and a fool." Hermione waved him off, finishing her milk and taking the last bite of her chicken pie, working for another two hours before a quick shower and then off to bed she went, finding Severus curled like a child around her pillow. Unfurling his arms, she crawled beside him, wrapping herself around him in comfort, smoothing his hair and wishing, more often than not, that he would not carry the weight of the world on his shoulders alone.

 _ **(((())))**_

Although the birthday party had gone off as though everything with Astoria was completely normal, Hermione noticed that her movements were slow and constricted but tried not to think about it too much; though she didn't know Astoria well, Hermione had seen her often enough to see that she was in pain. While the kids played, Hermione pulled Draco aside and told him that Severus had finally told her what was happening with his wife and gave him all the research she'd been reading through, promising him that there were more options if he was willing to try some new potions. Falling into his chair, Draco looked suddenly at Hermione and she could see how incredibly upset he was, his face sullen and the lack of sleep evident in his eyes. Without thinking, considering their past or even what had occurred in the very rooms where she'd been all day, Hermione reached out to him.

"Severus tells me I am a fool frequently because I'm so optimistic, but I am realistic about this Draco, I know there is no cure for Astoria's illness, but there are ways to prolong her life if she is willing to try." He didn't respond, just patted her hand and opened the folders, looking through the materials. She left him in his office to read through her findings and returned to the party, Severus immediately stopped her, questioning her with his eyes.

"The fact that I even stepped foot in this manor again should mean something- I didn't want to be here and yet I am, so please don't be angry with me for giving Draco the research. He can burn it and forget it, but I've tried." Hermione felt the tingle of the etched words 'mudblood' and looked around the hall, seeing exactly the spot where the words had been carved into her skin, and thankful that she was far enough removed from the events that she could stand in the same room and not feel fear.

"I'm not angry." His calm words surprised her as they both watched Draco come out of his office; he nodded to her, his eyes almost hopeful.

Hermione received many letters from Draco about her research, how he'd given it to Astoria's healers at St. Mungos and the private healers he'd brought in from Switzerland. They tried blood potions, one seemingly as promising as they could hope to find. Astoria had the magical form of dialysis three times a week, but it was harder on her than they realized at first, and in one of the last letters Draco sent before things grew grave, Hermione could read between the lines and surmise that Astoria was failing, ready to move on and be free of pain. They attempted another transplant when she seemed well enough. But though they tried everything, the new potions and even after the transplant, Astoria's failing health continued and before school started again, she'd passed away, leaving Draco heartbroken and Scorpius quite confused. It was sudden, though not completely unexpected and in an odd form of cruelty, Hermione felt the baby move the morning of her funeral. Although she hadn't been a constant friend of Malfoys, especially not Astoria since she'd been years behind her at school, it still pained her to know that Draco had lost his wife so early in their marriage and for Scorpius to now be without a mother. Severus had been surprisingly quiet about the situation, but Hermione knew he was dealing with the death in his own way, walking on eggshells around her in case Hermione was more distraught or disappointed than he thought, but she tried her best to move past what felt like an obvious failure to her. She found that they began to invite Draco and Scorpius to more events, to have tea or even just babysit Scorpius so Draco could have a break. Hermione also noted that Harry had reached out to him, completely putting their past behind them in an effort to bridge Draco's pain.

 _ **((()))**_

A week after school resumed, Hermione found herself finally in the conundrum of her clothes starting to fit oddly, her robes were easy enough to transfigure but the pants she'd wanted to wear for her lesson, because they were protective, just wouldn't buckle. As Minka curled around her legs, Hermione threw her pants into the closet and then pulled on a dress and her robes, finding her husband's arms around her.

"We can get you some trousers this weekend, don't ruin your day because you're finally growing." It was at the exact moment he said the word 'growing' that Hermione felt the baby kick again and he apparently did as well because she felt his sudden intake of breath. Turning in his arms, Hermione kept his hand steady where the baby was kicking, almost feeling the actual foot beneath their hands. Elation and happiness filled her, the baby was still growing and now Severus could actually feel it move.

"What a wonderful feeling! I'm so glad you can feel it now." When the baby kicked again, his hand jumped a bit; they must've stood together like that for ten more minutes before either of them moved. Finally heading to the Great Hall for breakfast, Hermione nibbled her toast and laughed as Patrick made a joke about them being late for breakfast, Severus responding in tone that didn't surprise her at all.

"Now just imagine what it'll be like when the baby is actually here." And she instantly saw him calm and a smirk formed on his lips as he reached for her hand.

"I'll be happy to see you both safely delivered." It didn't happen often that Severus was affectionate towards her in front of the students, but she was thankful to have his affections that morning when she felt frumpy and still sad about being unsuccessful with Astoria Malfoy. And as excited as she was about seeing Stieg flourishing in Hogsmeade, the imminent engagement of Patrick and Violet, and of course her own impending delivery, she was feeling fear rising in her that something would go wrong. Gently rising from the table, Hermione thought about their child as she walked towards her classroom, wending her way down the stone stairs, eventually walking through the door of her labs, wondering what it would be like to have her child with her, learning about plants and animals, learning to mix and grind, and the benefits of understanding how it all worked together, the universe and magic. She couldn't stop herself from smiling, thinking of Severus helping the child pronounce terms, the latin phrases or wand movements; she was filled with such hope that she couldn't think of the possible negative attributes of their personalities on a poor child, perhaps Severus' cruel wit and her inability to recognize that she was pushing someone too hard or being critical. Without a doubt, she had to admit that she and Severus were both critical people, often quick to judge and offer advice or an anecdote. As students filtered into the room, she imagined what it would be like to teach her own child but then thought that perhaps it would be better if their child had Patrick for potions so that their would be no conflict of interest, no fear of being too critical or too lenient. Once the lesson on healing potions began, Hermione focused completely on her students and their actions, forgetting her own meandering thoughts.


	23. Chapter 23

**AN: The arrival of baby Snape! Only a few more chapters following this one- although I hate it to end. Thank you for reading and reviewing! Let me know what you think.**

 **Chapter 23**

Hermione had Stieg guest lecture for her seventh years students about three weeks into the new term to help prepare them for what to expect as they drew close to NEWT exams. She watched as he led them through a practical lecture, showing them how to tell the difference between different potions ingredients, and she felt nostalgic for the year she came back to Hogwarts to complete her NEWTs studies, having Slughorn for potions. Horace Slughorn was far more patient than Severus had ever been, but she never enjoyed watching him brew as much as she enjoyed watching Severus; there was a finesse to Severus' movements that was completely absent from Slughorn, and now Hermione saw more clearly where it came from. Stieg's movements were so similar to her husband's, the same perfect strokes of the knife, the same perfect tension placed on the stirring rod, and best of all, a perfect command of the students. Although Stieg had been in her classroom many times, she'd never quite scrutinized his work like she was just then. When the lesson was completed, she went with Stieg back to Hogsmeade and ate an early dinner with him in the flat above the store, enjoying the quiet of his flat unlike the constant hustle and bustle of the castle. Perhaps Severus' penchant for introversion was rubbing off on her, she surmised as she sipped the warm lemon water Steig made for her as they cleaned up from dinner. In the quiet moment with Stieg, she could easily remind herself of her time with her father and mother, how their discussions centered around academia, how much attention they paid to her success. Often when she was worried about her choices, anxious about teaching a lesson or fearful that she wasn't doing with her life what they'd intended for her, Hermione craved the praise they'd rained on her when she returned from school during holidays or for summer break; sometimes it made her insecure to think she still needed someone to placate her her, to give her the praise she craved infrequently. As Stieg joined her at his table, she realized that Stieg now fulfilled that role expertly.

"Thank you for coming today, those students are the most prepared group I've had in five years, but they still have some serious weaknesses." Hermione folded and unfolded the fancy napkin Stieg always used and then absentmindedly rubbed her belly.

"I am always happy to help, dear." Stieg watched as Hermione's hand stilled for a moment and her eyes jumped up to his, suddenly he saw fear and worry cross her face, as though she had a premonition.

"What is it?" His hand rested on hers for a moment before she finally relaxed her face and breathed deeply.

"I just realized we're three months away, it's all going so quickly."

"Just wait until the child is actually here. I went to sleep one night and Sean Patrick was an adult. Here, drink more of the water and I'll walk with you back to the castle before Severus comes looking for you." She finished her water and took his arm. The air was turning ever so slightly towards the autumn chill they always experienced in Scotland at the end of September, so she bundled her robes around her, chatted with Stieg about the store and a new potion he and Severus were considering brewing for those who had motion sickness from floo or portkey travel. In no time, she was deposited at the gates; she gave Stieg a kiss on each cheek then watched as he apparated away. Turning back towards the school, she felt a shiver overcome her senses and was glad as soon as she was through the doors that the fires around the castle were lit.

 _ **(((())))**_

Albus's birthday was a much more enjoyable event than Hermione had anticipated with everything that had happened since the summer. Although she felt like she was expanding exponentially every day, there were still guests who acted surprised when she told them she and Severus were expecting, namely some of Harry's co-workers who had attended Hogwarts who were surprised she was married to Severus in the first place. In a scowl that rivaled any she'd ever seen from Severus, she shut them up quickly and found a quiet spot on the ground next to Draco and watched the kids play. She'd written to him many times and even invited him to her classroom to speak, trying to keep him involved in things that promoted relationships. Ginny brought over lemonade to both of them gave Hermione Lily.

"Severus seems different." Draco finally said, looking over to his godfather and former head of house helping referee a modified game of quidditch, his hair pulled back and his shirt sleeves rolled up. As though he felt their eyes on him, Severus looked to Draco and Hermione, nodding.

"What do you mean?" She asked, though she knew what he meant.

"He seems more comfortable with people; when I was a kid, he visited the manor frequently, but he always looked like he would rather be anywhere else." Hermione smirked, thinking that no one would want to be at Malfoy Manor. He continued, "And now, he's playing with Potter's kids and mine, the Weasleys and even a Lupin, as though he enjoys them. I never imagined he'd get married, especially not to you and definitely not have a child."

"I never imagined he would, either, but then again when you were small, he was trying to avoid death on a consistent basis." Folding her arms around her belly and Lily, Hermione thought about how far they'd come together, so many instances where things were sure to fall apart and didn't. But she didn't dwell on those thoughts, she turned back to Draco instead.

"How are you faring, Draco, really?" Tentatively reaching over to his hand, she wondered if she should've let things lie when he met her eyes and sneered, but then he softened as Severus usually did when he saw that she was being genuine.

"Some days are good, Scorpius and I have been spending more time together, but today, it's one of the bad days. I know you didn't care for my mother, but I wish she were alive to help or that I'd been more involved with Scorpius when he was smaller, I feel like I'm just getting to know him." Lily pulled at Hermione's hair, causing them both to laugh; untangling Lily's fingers, Hermione looked over to Scorpius again.

"He looks happy and healthy to me, and that means you've done your job. And I may not be a parent yet, but you know you can stop in any time if you have questions or need a break. We have watched the Potters before and I know Severus would love to see you more." Shifting Lily from one leg to the other, she took the book Lily was looking through and opened it to read to her.

"You're not as horrible as everyone says you are, you know." Hermione was indignant for a second before she actually looked to him and saw that he was joking. At that exact moment, Severus appeared next to her with Albus' hand in his.

"You're godson would like to show you something." Trading off Lily for Albus, Hermione tried to stand but found herself stuck, until Severus offered his hand and she slowly got up, Draco snickering. Severus joined Draco on the blanket as he watched his wife walk away with his second godson, a child who looked more like his father every day but far more enjoyable in his opinion that he'd found his father as a young man. Lily curled herself around his neck, her tiny arms folded into a circle as she played with his short pony tail. He hadn't really noticed with James or Albus, but Lily had a particular smell; it was soft, fragrant, like sweet pea and honey. For a moment, though he knew he'd be just as happy with a son, he wished for their child to be a girl, to be able to cradle her as he was Lily Potter, to see Hermione in her features, and to know he could be affectionate with a daughter where sometimes it still felt odd to be affectionate with James and Albus, even Teddy. He cursed his father for making for setting a terrible example as to how a father could love a son.

 _ **(((())))**_

Hours later when they returned home, Hermione was brushing her hair when Severus came through with Minka, who looked annoyed because she was being carried.

"I think we should start including Draco in Sunday dinners. Like me, all his biological family aside from distant cousins are gone and he seems so lonesome right now. What do you think?" Minka jumped from his arms and scurried across the room to the washroom where she meowed until Severus turned on the faucet for a moment. He looked surprised, but she knew he was happy she was mending a bridge with Draco.

"I'm sure the invitation alone would make a difference." He finally replied, taking a seat next to her on the sofa, his hands immediately on her legs and feet, massaging them though they weren't too swollen.

"Well, I just know in the same situation, I would like to be included." The delightful pressure from his hands made her close her eyes and breath deeply; she never wanted him to stop.

"He didn't say much after you walked away with Albus, but it was clear whatever said to him made him think." Hermione peeked one eye towards him, he was fishing for the story instead of outwardly asking which was unlike him; he seemed almost a touch jealous. She couldn't deny Draco Malfoy was attractive, he'd grown into his large, fierce blue eyes, and like his father had grown his blonde hair, often wearing it in a pony tail. But for all his good looks, Hermione could only see eleven year old Draco when she looked at him most of the time, and not the adult he'd become. She prefered her dark-haired husband with his romanesque features, so much taller than the Malfoys and commanding. He brought her back to their conversation when he tickled her foot, causing an immediate laugh.

"You're incorrigible, you know. Anyway, I asked him how he was since I haven't seen him since the funeral and when he said he was having a difficult time adjusting to single father status, I told him to owl or floo us for help like he has been infrequently. I mean, we've helped Harry and Ginny often enough. Anyway, then I told him that Scorpius looked happy and healthy to me, which is what we all strive for. I think that made him feel good since Astoria did most of the parenting, apparently." Closing her eyes again, Hermione pushed the arch of her foot against his hands, not even trying to hide how positively wonderful it felt. "Which, by the way, I don't want to happen when this little one arrives. I don't imagine you'll be present for every moment, but I don't plan on parenting alone if I can help it." Before she'd even stopped talking, she felt his hands pull her up and into his arms.

"You will not be left to do anything alone if I am able, I promise." Kissing the top of her head, he wrapped his arms around her, and sighed. He hoped that nothing would part them so disturbingly, especially after he'd spent most of his life as a spy and had only, in the last eleven years, really begun living.

"I keep thinking about how different everything is going to be, even this...we'll have a baby with us. It's going to be so odd being in here next semester and not teaching."

"Yes, quite." Severus placed a hand on her rounded abdomen, feeling the baby moving as Hermione shifted a bit towards him, her bladder screaming as she did.

"I won't miss having to urinate every twenty minutes, that's for sure." As she tried to stand, his arms loosed and his face fell, he rather liked the feel of her body against his. "I'll be back in no time." Her legs shook a bit when she dipped down to press her lips softly to his, but regained their feeling the more she walked towards the washroom. Humming a sweet tune, Hermione suddenly felt far readier for the birth of their child than she had before, even though she knew they would never be completely ready, she felt like they were at least on the same page and that meant more to her than having a perfect nursery or a plan for every contingency readily available.

Draco and Scorpius quickly became part of Sunday dinners with Stieg,Patrick, and Violet. Sometimes Hermione felt overwhelmed by the Slytherin cunning present during their discussions, but she found that Stieg, Severus, and Draco were capable of having civilized conversations, even if they disagreed about policy or the way in which the Ministry was moving. By the middle of November, Hermione was often looking forward to speaking with Draco about matters in her old department at the Ministry and seeing Scorpius, who she sometimes couldn't believe was Draco's offspring. He was one of the kindest toddlers, gracious and giving; and his large eyes and sweet features made it hard for her to deny him anything, just as it was with the Potter children and had been with Teddy. The last Sunday before December came found them all around Stieg's table, feasting on lamb stew and new potatoes with a signature bread Stieg liked to make for his stews. Hermione held Scorpius on her lap as they ate and then played with him in the sitting room while the others discussed plans to add a primary school in Hogsmeade to serve the numbers of children born post final battle and also to help the students gain more skills before entering Hogwarts. Although she listened, she was too engrossed with Scorpius and the puzzle he was working on of Hogwarts, smoothing his blonde hair which had a slight curl to it. Scorpius stopped what he was doing and crawled onto Hermione's lap, putting a piece of the puzzle in place and then leaning back against her.

"You're soft like mummy." His tiny voice wounded her heart as he snuggled further into her lap, pulling one of her arms around him. Without looking up, she felt Draco's eyes on them.

"Mummy's are soft, aren't they? You know daddy's can hold you just the same. I bet if you went to your daddy right now, he'd snuggle you right up." Taking her hand, she tickled his little sides and gave him a quick hug before he sprang up and ran to Draco who immediately opened his arms for his little boy, pulling him onto his leg and into a tight embrace. She knew he hadn't grown up with they type of affection she had, or Severus or Steig either, so it was comforting to see that all of them were becoming more accustomed to the type of affection and closeness that most children craved. It was her heart's desire to Severus love on their child like he'd become more comfortable with as Harry's children had grown and multiplied. Closing her eyes for a moment, she felt the gentle rush of air as Scorpius returned to her lap.

"Daddy isn't as soft." She wouldn't begrudge him a snuggle, so she wrapped her arms around him and helped him find the next puzzle piece, imagining for a moment what having a son would be like. James and Albus were interesting creatures, far different than their sister Lily. Although she'd had the boys for longer and felt quite comfortable taking care of them, there was something about Lily's gentle nature that she adored. In the end, she knew she'd be happy with a child of either sex, but her dream of Evie, the dark-haired little girl, had remained such a constant in her daydreams that she wondered how much of an adjustment it would be if they were having a son.

On their walk back to the castle, Hermione burrowed into Severus' side, holding his arm tightly with hers as the wind whipped around them.

"And you wanted to walk back why?" She heard him tease as the wind picked up again.

"I need the exercise, you know. Besides, I wanted to talk about Draco before you go to your office and forget I exist for the rest of the evening." His steps stopped and the jarring motion made her stumble in the sloshy, partially melted snow.

"I do not disappear to my office and forget you exist." He had a concerned look on his face that made Hermione wish she hadn't teased him; he looked wounded.

"Severus, I didn't mean it that way, I was just…"

"Just what? Pointing out that I don't have time for you? Or anything else for that matter. I didn't need a reminder, Hermione, I know that things have been strained." His voice was as curt and cruel as she remembered from her school days. Brow furrowed, Hermione wondered where his anger was coming from and why he was suddenly unleashing. She hadn't mentioned anything to him about the amount of time they spent together in ages and she definitely thought they were spending more quality time than they had in previous years. Instead of waiting for him to say anything else or perhaps worse, she let go of his arm completely and walked off, stomping her boots on the rug in the entrance hall before continuing to walk to their quarters, unable to fathom where his behavior had come from, especially since it seemed so suddenly different from how he'd been when they'd walked down to Hogsmeade for dinner. Of course, she hadn't heard all of the conversation he'd had with Draco, but she wondered if it was Draco's continued sadness about losing Astoria that had caused his shift in behavior. She turned the door handle and went through, noting that he hadn't followed her into their quarters, she sat immediately down to write him a note she could send with a house elf, apologizing for what she'd said, even if she had meant it in jest. Rubbing her stomach, she curled up on the sofa with a book and tried to stay awake, waiting for him to return to her, but she couldn't hold out. Around midnight, she felt pressure on her arms, lifting her from her cozy position on the couch, and when she opened her eyes, she saw his vulnerable, searching eyes directly in front hers. When they made it to their bedroom, he helped her out of her robes and into bed, almost lifting her hips as she scooted in, her legs feeling almost numb as she tried to swing them over. For a moment, defeated because her legs were heavy and numb, Hermione's eyes filled with tears; between the exhaustion and fear that she'd hurt him somehow, more than just a flippant comment, she felt inadequate.

"Don't cry, I overreacted, my dear, I didn't mean to snap at you." His voice filled her right ear as he wrapped her tightly in his arms, pulling her taut against him.

"I'm sorry, Severus, I really didn't mean it like that...you always put me first and I love you so dearly, I couldn't possibly love you more." Her tears wetted her lips as she turned her head to face him, though she couldn't turn her body fully.

"You are not at fault, Hermione, I swear. Draco and I were talking and of course I let my mind wander, worrying about not being able to be as present in our child's life, like Draco was before Astoria died. I should've come straight here but I didn't want to say another word to hurt you." Finally , Hermione could completely feel her legs so she turned into him completely, letting his arms envelope her.

"We're a pair, aren't we?" He smoothed her hair down and behind her ears, wiping her tears away with his fingertips and then resting on his elbows, he studied her expression, the way her eyes blinked the tears away rapidly and hated that he was the cause of such tears.

"You are so precious to me, my wife, I hate that I caused these tears."

"You didn't, I did this to myself and I can't stop because of the hormones. Let's get some sleep, okay?" He nodded, pulling the covers up over his arms to his shoulder as she turned back towards the fireplace in their room. "Goodnight, my handsome husband." It took only minutes and Hermione was out, remaining in the same position for the greater part of the night and waking early enough to have a quiet breakfast with Severus before classes started.

 _ **((()))**_

November had rushed by in a flurry of plans, lectures at the G and T to help out Stieg since he would be pulling double-duty once the baby came in December, and the addition of a new room to their quarters. Hermione decided it was important to keep a guest room in case they had someone come visit them when the baby came, so she had Severus add a nursery between their bedroom and the private laboratory, accessible by a new door. She knew it would be impractical once their child was older, but also knew the child would be in their dorm by the time it was a teenager and therefore it wouldn't be necessary for another room to exist...unless they had more than one child.

As December rushed in and students left for the holidays, Hermione looked forward to their first anniversary, to the party at Grimmauld Place, and at any time the birth of their child. Sundays had become her favorite day of the week. Stieg had been quite kind in opening his flat to Draco and Scorpius, and in no time Hermione felt like she saw a huge difference in Draco's demeanor whenever they ate together and she loved getting to know Scorpius who was a tender, sweet boy who reminded her nothing of his father or grandfather, noting that the Greengrasses must've been gentler creatures than the Malfoys, even if they were all notoriously Slytherin. It had benefited Severus as well who hadn't spent much time with Draco as an adult, but whatever relationship they'd had when Draco was growing up had obviously improved and been strengthened. Hermione made sure her students were prepared to have a temporary teacher while she was out for maternity leave, most likely not returning to her post until the following Autumn. She hated to miss her seventh years in their NEWT practice, but then she figured she could go visit them if she found someone to watch the baby. She also made sure to leave her office and lesson plans in order, trying to leave no loose ends.

Christmas Eve came and Hermione and Severus planned to stay at Grimmauld Place instead of going off to France or somewhere else in case the baby came. Arriving early, Hermione trudged slowly up the stairs, holding the railing and trying not to laugh as her breath shortened.

"What are you doing?" She heard Severus call out from the bottom of the stairs.

"The healer said walking was good and it would help labor along, so climbing stairs is the next best thing. I love you and this baby, but I am ready to not be pregnant." She heard Ginny call out, something about the walking helping her with Lily, but it all sounded muffled to Hermione who was huffing as she stepped.

"Stop being so stubborn, the child will arrive when it arrives." He folded his arms and looked at his red faced wife.

"I'm not being stubborn, I am helping it along. The healers said being in better shape is good for pushing and stamina, I don't want to be so tired by the time the baby gets here I don't want to hold her."

"Her?" Severus smirked every time Hermione said her, but she was still convinced it was a girl. Rolling her eyes, Hermione continued up the stairs and ignored her husband.

Hours later when the rest of the guests arrived, they ate dinner in happy conversation as normal, people congratulating Severus and Hermione on their first anniversary and the impending parenthood. When it was time to exchange gifts, Hermione waddled over to Ginny and presented her with a new dictoquill and parchment as Ginny was going back to work part time for the Daily Prophet and was surprised to find Harry tapping her shoulder.

"Have we ever gotten each other before?" She asked, taking the soft present from him, wondering what he could've possibly given her. Tearing one side of the paper back, Hermione found an item she thought she'd never see again. It was her mother's quilt, the one her father had burned in a fit of rage after her mother had been killed. Immediately, Hermione's eyes filled with tears.

"Harry?" Her voice pleaded with him for understanding.

"You had a picture of your family on your desk and this was on the back of the sofa, so I found someone to sew a replica. Is it close?" Hermione could barely form words as she felt the fabric, looked to the pieces of the intertwined rings, and remembered how often she'd snuggled with her mother under the quilt as a child.

"It's perfect." She finally said, pulling Harry into a tight hug, wiping her eyes but she couldn't stop crying, between celebrating a year of marriage with Severus and knowing their child would be born soon, her senses were overwhelmed. A braxton-hicks contraction hit her as she hugged him, forcing her arms around him tightly.

"Serious?"

"No, false labor, but it does smart." Kissing both his cheeks, Hermione let go of Harry and held the quilt tightly to her chest as Severus came over to them, curious about her tears and the look of pain that had crossed her face.

"Not torturing my wife are you?" Severus teased, his arm resting around her waist, though possessively. Harry couldn't help but laugh at the accusation and the odd friendship they'd formed after all the years. Finding Ginny across the room, Harry turned to Hermione again, squeezing her hand and then went to his wife who was standing with Kingsley Shacklebolt.

"And what has you in tears, my dear?" He asked, brushing her hair off her shoulder as he bent down to her ear, causing a shiver on her spine before she felt another tight wave of pressure in her abdomen.

"Harry's had my mother's quilt redone, or rather recreated. My father burned the original one after everything happened, before he... I'm going to head upstairs, I don't feel so well." Hermione waved to Ginny and Harry, who were now talking to a crowd of her brothers and then Draco and Stieg, who were obviously discussing something that had caused them both to laugh. She knew how hard it would be for Draco to celebrate his first Christmas without Astoria and it made her even more grateful so Severus, who held her hand as they went up the flights of stairs to their room. He ran her a warm bath, massaged her lower back as they waited on the tub to fill, and then brushed her hair free of tangles so he could wash it for her.

"I'm going to miss all this pampering when it's been two days since I've had a bath and the baby has vomited all over me. Remember when Lily spit up all over your shirt? Imagine that soaked in my hair. Maybe I should cut it?" He stopped and turned her face towards his, his eyes burning with something she didn't recognize.

"I will wash your hair every day if it means you won't smell like vomit, please don't cut your hair." A devilish grin passed over his lips as he leaned down to kiss her and then help her into the tub.

"Deal- I had no idea how much you liked my hair." She lied, knowing full well that each night his hand became so entangled she woke to a bird's nest each morning. The pressure evaporated from her belly the minute she hit the water, so she eased further down and closed her eyes, only opening them a while later when Severus was lifting her from the water and drying her off.

"Let's go to bed." He curled around her, neither quite sure when the baby would come but they knew it would be soon as everything had shifted, there had been an obvious drop and sudden pressure.

"I love you, Happy Christmas." He whispered as she fell asleep, murmuring the same in kind, the feel of his hand in her hair lulling her to sleep as much as him.

 _ **(((())))**_

The baby did not come the twenty-fifth, Christmas day, instead the labor started on Boxing Day, December 26th and the baby finally arrived on the 27th. Severus had decided staying at Grimmauld Place was better than returning to Hogwarts so they'd be closer to St. Mungos when she went into labor, but it did mean several flights of stairs each time she wanted to see the boys or Lily, to watch Teddy fly in the garden or to eat. Although Harry and Ginny left for the Burrow, they didn't stay gone long in case Hermione went into labor, so the house remained abuzz with noise for most of Christmas and Boxing Day. Around dinner time, Hermione could feel a real change in her contractions, they were deep in her lower back and abdomen, far more painful than the others had been, so Severus repeated the actions he'd taken the night before, running her a warm bath, transfiguring the tub large enough to he could join her, though still partially clothed, massaging her lower back as contractions came. When it seemed like they were closer together, he wondered if they should leave for the hospital, but having little experience with labor, he cast a quick drying spell as he exited the water and flew down the stairs to consult the Potters. It was well after midnight, but Harry was sitting at the dining room table drinking tea with Ginny, as though they expected Severus to come to them.

"Has her water broken?" Harry asked, sipping his tea and staring at the unnerved man before him.

"No, but her contractions are coming consistently." Harry and Ginny exchanged a look, then grabbed her prepared bag and motioned to Severus that it was time. He took the stairs as quickly back up, helping Hermione out of the water and into a loose robe, eventually leading her to the floo and through the fireplace to St. Mungos. Although she labored another ten hours before they could even push, Severus was glad he took her when her blood pressure wavered a few times. Overall, her labor had been typical to what he'd read and understood from Ginny Potter, he did worry for Hermione as he watched her struggle, yet overcome. It had taken all his patience not to yell at the healers who seemed to be helping his wife very little, and instead he focused his energy on helping Hermione however he could. When their daughter was finally born, he could barely contain his fear and elation, unable to say anything to her or the healers who congratulated them both on a healthy girl.

"Severus?" Hermione's voice quivered, she was shaking terribly as the healer brought the baby back to them after cleaning, weighing, and measuring, but Hermione worried her arms would give, so she pointed to him, using wandless magic to unbutton his shirt. Without another thought, he sat next to her on the bed, the healer handing their daughter to him, resting her against his chest. Hermione reached up to them, her hand still shaking as he enveloped the baby in her tiny nappy in his shirt.

"You were right, love, we have a daughter." Hermione tried to get a better look at her face, seeing a tiny button nose and his lips, ears that were still scrunched from the birth canal, and the faintest hint of hair, his long, dark eyelashes. Shifting a bit, he put one arm around Hermione and leaned over so Hermione could give their daughter kisses, her eyes watering in sheer joy.

"Evie, I've dreamt of you for years, I'm so glad you're finally here." The healer came to Hermione side and cast a few spells, helping the shock wane so she could finally hold her daughter, though she hated to take her from Severus who looked rather pleased and comfortable with her, she did want the same skin-to-skin contact with her.

"So what will her middle name be?" Severus asked as he handed her over, placing her softly on Hermione's chest, though it was still odd and awkward to handle such a tiny being.

"I had a monopoly on her first name, so it's completely up to you, Severus." Closing her eyes for a moment, Hermione enjoyed the gentle weight on her chest, the fidgety fingers and toes of their daughter who seemed so perfectly a combination of them, peacefully making sounds, finally calming down from her birth. When Hermione opened her eyes again, Severus was reaching over to them, delicately putting his hand, which appeared rather large next to Evie, on her back.

"Rose?" He finally said as Hermione looked away from Evie long enough to kiss Severus deeply, overcome with by the tenderness of his voice and the way he was looking at them, she could never doubt for even a moment that he loved her, it was so plainly written in his expression.

"Evangeline Rose is a perfect name." Came her quiet reply, as she snuggled deeper into his embrace. Ten minutes later, Evie was bundled and Hermione helped into a comfortable gown, both presentable for guests. First Ginny and Harry came in, their children quietly subdued for the first time she'd ever witnessed.

"Congratulations!" Ginny exclaimed, kissing Severus' cheek and reaching for Evie, handing Lily to Harry as she did. Albus and James looked shyly to their new cousin as Ginny sat in the chair of the recovery room, showing Evie's tiny face to them.

"She has no hair, I wonder if it will be curly?" Harry asked, but Hermione could barely register his comment as she stared at them. Albus turned away from Ginny and walked over to Severus, lifting his arms up so he could see Hermione.

"She's pretty." Albus remarked as he sat next to Hermione on the bed. Exchanging Lily again, Harry took a turn holding Evie as Ginny sat at the end of the bed next to Hermione, looking between them.

"I know you're exhausted, but she really is lovely. Have you decided on a name?" Hermione grinned.

"Evangeline Rose." Severus answered for her, as it appeared Hermione was incapable of coherent thought with one of her favorite boy's in her arms and their daughter in the arms of her best friend.

"We're going to call her Evie." Hermione finally added, pulling Albus into her arms and kissing his head.

"A beautiful name for a beautiful girl." It was Harry's voice that pushed her back into tears, Albus looked to her with the same concerned expression that Harry had gotten when they were younger and full of adventure, meeting fearsome events.

"I don't know how you've done this three times, my heart feels like it's going to explode." Harry stood slowly and handed Evie to Severus, who tucked her quickly in his arm, glad to have had many years of practice with the Potter children.

"Where's Teddy?" Hermione asked, noticing he wasn't with them.

"He's waiting with Patrick and Stieg, he was talking to Patrick about some project he assigned before classes let out." Ginny responded, shifting Lily to her other hip and then taking James' hand, nodding to Harry who walked over to Albus.

"We'll visit this weekend, if that is okay? Unless you need us before then." Hermione kissed Albus goodbye and nodded to Ginny.

"I'll owl if we do or floo if we're desperate." Waving them off, Hermione beckoned Severus over with Evie, still not completely coherent as the Potters left as the Davenports and Teddy came in. Stieg immediately reached for Evie, who had woken slightly, showing him her eyes first. Hermione and Severus hadn't even seen her eyes open yet.

"Your girl is alert right now." Stieg remarked as Evie let out a tiny cry as she stretched, her arm escaping the tight blanket, meeting Stieg's expression with a furrowed brow. "Well, hello baby Severus." Hermione chuckled as Stieg turned and showed them the expression the baby was wearing. "We will be great friends, my little one, I promise you have no reason to scowl." Motioning for Teddy to sit, Stieg smoothly placed Evie in his arms and then shook Severus' hands and went to Hermione's side, handing her a present from his pocket and kissing her cheek.

"Open that later." Hermione thanked him and turned towards Teddy, the first boy she'd loved so dearly, looking more and more like Remus Lupin each year and for a moment hoped he knew just how much she still loved him after all the years. When they said their goodbyes, Hermione hoped that the Weasleys visit would be quick, her body was tired and her mind was failing the longer she tried to fight sleep. Molly, Arthur, and surprisingly Ron came in after Teddy and the Davenports left, oohing and ahhing over the tiny girl. To add further surprise, Hermione found that Ron had brought her flowers, beautiful tiger lilies he placed in a vase on the table next to her bed. She knew it had taken much for him to be there, even if it had been five years since she'd turned him down, they'd not been the easiest years. Watching him hold her daughter made her wonder for a moment if she'd stayed with him how different her life would be. Evie would be James' age most likely or Albus' and they might have already had a second...but she stopped that train of thought as Severus sat next to her, his arm possessively around her shoulders as they left. She wondered if Draco was coming, but then thought perhaps it might be too much for him. As if reading her mind, Severus handed her a note.

"Astoria's family had Scorpius today so Draco had to go retrieve him, he apologizes that he won't be able to visit until tomorrow."

"I'm rather tired now, anyway, do you think she'll try to nurse?" A healer came in as Severus deposited Evie back in Hermione's arms. Although she understood the general mechanics of breastfeeding, Hermione knew it took babies a while to learn a good latch, so she asked her healer many questions, knowing they'd be released within a few hours and though she'd have Madame Pomfrey at Hogwarts, she didn't want to constantly bother her. Finally, Evie latched for a while, though Hermione wasn't sure she produced much, Evie seemed content with the situation so it seemed like a success. Severus watched in gentle wonder as his wife and daughter bonded. Suddenly, Evie's eyes opened and Hermione finally got to see how large they were and expressive.

"I think she'll have your eyes." Hermione pulled her gown back closed and sat crossed legged with Evie on the bed, tilting her up towards them. "And your mouth- she will never be spared from kisses."

"I do find her compelling." She turned to him, seeing a look on his face she'd never seen before and she couldn't quite describe it.

"So what do we call you, Severus? Dad, Daddy, Papa, Da?" Severus looked thoughtful and she assumed he was thinking of his own father, so she added, "I called my dad, Dad, but many of my friends had different names for theirs."

"Dad will suffice, unless she comes up with her own version when she can talk."

Hermione leaned into him, locking lips again, and whispering, "You are going to be a fantastic father, Severus, I can tell already. We are both incredibly lucky to have you." Evie closed her eyes and they continued to watch her, Hermione almost falling asleep where she was sitting. An hour later, with a clean bill of health, Hermione and crew were released. When they arrived back in Hogwarts, Severus immediately called for Winky who would be helping with Evie and then helped Hermione to sleep; thankfully, Evie slept for four hours before waking in a terrible fit of hunger and her first dirty nappy, rousing her parents from sleep reluctantly but with a sense of duty. It still took many attempts for a good latch, but once she was nursing, Hermione felt her hormones surge, filling her heart and mind with love. She knew it wouldn't always be so peaceful and lovely, but for the moment she cherished each second Evie was in her arms. And when she finally remembered to open the gift from Stieg, she found a beautiful silver necklace with Evie's birthstone, so sentimental for someone who she'd almost lost.

The first week home in their quarters was a major adjustment for Hermione and Severus who had several visitors throughout the week before students returned. Although she was completely exhausted, Hermione found that she couldn't hold Evie enough or see her enough throughout the day, especially when she saw Severus checking on her or holding her before she could get to her. There had been times before Evie came that Hermione wasn't sure how comfortable Severus would be taking care of their daughter in a more consistent capacity, even if he'd been more comfortable now that he'd been around the Potter children, but she needn't have worried at all. Severus took to his daughter as though it was their fourth child and everything was old hat; he helped bathe, feed if Hermione pumped, change, and rock his daughter whenever possible. When he couldn't help with feedings, he still attended his wife when he could, making sure she had plenty of water and snacks, he noticed she was losing her pregnancy weight rapidly due to her breastfeeding and didn't want her to waste away. Often when he found them in the nursery, Hermione's legs tucked beneath her or cross-legged in the magical rocker he'd found for her in Hogsmeade, he could barely contain his admiration for her, how his wife bonded with their daughter, cradling her with such joy. He knew her hormones were still erratic and he often found her crying when looking at Evie; he hoped they were tears of joy and not exhaustion, so he looked for other signs that she might have been experiencing postpartum depression, but found that she was just happy and tired.

At their one month wellness check, Hermione was given a clean bill of health and Evie met all the measures for adequate growth, which made Hermione quite happy since she had been worried exclusive breastfeeding might not be enough for her sweet pumpkin. Making her way back from St. Mungos to Hogwarts, Hermione charmed the baby carrier to shield Evie against the grime of the floo and then arrived steadily in Severus' office within seconds, finding him in conversation with his deputy, Bathsheda Babbling, and an obviously tense one at that as his eyebrows furrowed and his words flowed freely, stopping only when he saw Hermione. Babbling turned to the fireplace, rolling her eyes at the young Potions Master forcing Hermione to stop in her tracks; Babbling hadn't always been welcoming, but she'd thought they had an understanding and Hermione had always enjoyed Ancient Runes, almost as much as potions. Yet, the look she was receiving from Babbling made the elation and relief from Evie's clean bill of health fade away immediately. Instead of immediately retreating to their quarters, Hermione cast a quick cleansing spell and walked to her husband's side.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, Professor Babbling, Severus." But Hermione was not actually sorry, for an irrational moment, she felt jealousy looking at the beautiful Ancient Runes professor, her long legs and sparkling eyes, the curves of a body that hadn't just carried a child for nine months, no obvious signs of exhaustion or fears of lactating through robes. Rashly, she dipped down to her husband, one arm possessively around the front of his chest, her hand resting lightly on his shoulder,yet, still gripping him as though her life depended on it, and her other arm holding Evie in the carrier. Without hesitating, Hermione leaned into his ear, facing away from Babbling, whispering that she was cleared for all activities, kissing his cheek before turning away from them and continuing to their quarters. Although it happened quite rarely, Hermione had felt the need to claim her husband in public, but as she entered their quarters, she wondered if she shouldn't have done that in his office. Until he arrived to check on them twenty minutes later, Hermione let herself obsess about embarrassing Evie from the carrier, she changed her nappy and tried to wake her to feed, still trying to get into a routine, hearing Severus come through the door and then turn down their short hallway, his boots making a soothing clicking sound. He didn't say anything as he came through the threshold, just took in the scene. Hermione's hair was pulled into a loose plait, several of her curls framed her face trailing down to the open, plum-colored blouse, Evie's tiny head blocked his view of her breast, but he heard his daughter contentedly enjoying her afternoon meal, her tiny sounds like music to his ears. When Hermione raised Evie for a burp, Severus caught her eye, finding her a bit reserved almost fearful as he approached.

"How is our girl?" He asked, leaning down to kiss Evie's head, watching as Hermione's hand made gentle circles on her back.

"Perfect." Hermione's words hit his lips as he moved to her next, coming to stand next to them and watching as Hermione switched to her other breast, cradling Evie tightly again as she latched.

"I'm sorry if I embarrassed you." He could hear the quiver in her voice; it was true, Hermione had always been more outwardly affectionate than he was, but not in front of the staff.

"You didn't embarrass me, though it didn't help things with Babbling. Unfortunately, she has the same concerns that Sinistra did about my dual roles of headmaster and husband. What is it with these deputies? I'm not the first headmaster to have a wife and child at the school during term." He was whispering but she could still hear the inflection in his voice, the annoyance that his deputy would dare question his devotion and ability to do his job.

"I don't know what came over me, I'm sorry. I'm not usually so hormonal, but I guess I have been for a while now. I really did get a clean bill of health and so did she." Hermione's fingers smoothed Evie's peach fuzz, a lighter shade than she expected, and then she took her tiny hand in hers, running her thumb over her tiny fingers and smiling at her sweet girl.

"Don't apologize, Hermione." He kissed her again, his lips warm against the coolness of her cheek and Hermione felt assuaged of her guilt, focusing on the gentle thrum of Evie's sounds and Severus' hands massaging her shoulders. When Evie went down for her nap, Hermione curled up with Severus in their bed for a rare afternoon nap, falling asleep soundly as he continued his massage, eventually pulling her close to him, burying his face and hand in her hair, twirling her curls through his fingers and then finding sleep as well. There was something erotic about the possessive way she'd marched over to him in his office, her determined face, the sheer control she exuded as she stalked over, gripping him so tightly he could've melted in her arms. Although she'd been cleared by her healer, Severus knew Hermione wasn't ready to resume activities, so he stowed his arousal away for when she was, storing the image of his fierce lioness in his mind.


	24. Chapter 24

**AN: Finally updated, though there are still some things I want to fix about this chapter. Thank you for all your reviews, favorites, and follows- this story has been cathartic to write. Let me know what you think!**

Chapter 24

The first months of Evie's life went by so quickly that Hermione felt as though she blinked at St. Mungos and Evie was two months old. Lily Potter's first birthday party was their first outing, though she had been to Hogsmeade once, Hermione had kept her bundled to tightly, she hadn't met anyone new or even gotten to see the sights, not that a newborn would really care.

They flooed an hour early so that Hermione could make sure to keep her schedule, which had finally become as regimented as it could, and so she fed her upstairs before the other guests arrived and then came down. Although she still had little hair, it was clear that Evie was going to have her mother's hair, wavy and honey-colored. Coming into the sitting room, Hermione felt tiny hands at her legs as Albus jumped out from behind the sofa with James and Scorpius. Lily tried to toddle after them, but Teddy followed trying to make sure she didn't hurt herself.

"I had hoped one of these children would wait to walk, but nope." Ginny joked, following all of them into the kitchen where Molly was finishing icing the cake which was alarmingly pink. Neville and Hannah arrived about the time Hermione took a seat, Alice running into the kitchen with the boys.

"I'm so thankful for heating charms, the kids can play outside." Harry said to Hermione as he opened the door to the garden for them, rushing out like herded animals. As Hannah took a seat next to Hermione, she reached for Evie.

"How much longer do you have?" Hermione asked, pointing to Hannah's pregnant belly.

"Three months, I don't think I can make it, but seeing her helps." They both cooed over Evie, who woke long enough to make her own cooing sounds, almost smiling when Severus walked over to them and touched her little cheek. Despite all of the other ways in which he had changed over the years, Severus had changed more so since the arrival of Evangeline Rose. He was still protective and possessive of them, but his affections had changed- he didn't temper his love for either Hermione or Evie, kissing or hugging both whenever he felt the impulse, which was often. Though he was still not verbose and did not overly share his feelings aloud, he found he could finally express himself freely with touch, at least with his girls. It was obvious to Hermione that his sensibilities had changed a bit when she found him standing next to the bassinet where Evie was sleeping, watching her for longer than just to check that she was breathing. She watched him bend down and kiss their daughter's cheek, her fingers, and then smooth her non-existent hair on her head, almost refusing to step away as though it meant she would disappear. It made her heart happy to see him bond with her, just as she had. A few nights following that one, she found him holding Evie tightly in his shirt again, though they weren't skin-to-skin, it mimicked what she'd seen right after she was first born. Although he didn't hum like she did, he was swaying with her and trying to calm her; it was a sight Hermione never thought she'd see, Severus completely give himself to another being.

"Hermione, what in the world are you thinking about?" Ginny asked handing her a cup of tea.

"When Evie first came home and how different Severus was, is."

"Harry was saying that too, the last time he visited Severus changed her nappy and he was shocked." Hermione laughed, taking a sip of her tea and looking over at Severus, deep in conversation with Draco.

"He's very hands-on, I can hardly get her before he does some nights, and during the day he stops in and checks on us. Sometimes I walk up to his office just to get out; the staff have been so kind and helpful, too, well most of them."

"I can tell you're coming out of the hardest part, you don't look as tired as you were." Cradling Evie in her lap as Hannah went to check on Alice and Neville, Hermione tried not to think about how tired she'd been the first few weeks as she was learning how to be a mother.

"Well, we're both eating better now. I don't think I realized how difficult it was going to be breastfeeding, but we've got the hang of it now and so far she's growing well."

"Her legs are so long." Hermione tugged at the fabric of romper, finding that Evie kicked her little feet.

"Her feet must be ticklish. But you're right, her legs are long. This outfit it for three to six months and it's almost too short. Winky has been making not so subtle hints that Evie needs bigger clothes." Pulling her up and resting her on her shoulder, Hermione slowly rubbed Evie's back and sighed, it was as content an afternoon as any could imagine.

((()))

Much of the rest of the semester continued in a balance between helping her temporary replacement grade, walking to Hogsmeade to help Stieg as often as possible with the store and allowing him to visit with Evie who he loved, and trying to make sure she didn't spend all of her time marking or taking care of Evie and neglecting Severus. Although a balance had been achieved, the transition to parenthood hadn't been entirely easy for either of them, Severus especially who wanted to be involved as possible but found having a new deputy headmistress more difficult than he had imagined. Most evenings he came back from dinner to find Hermione feeding Evie, he was thankful as Evie grew he could help when she started eating some solid food towards the end of the term. In the mornings, he kissed them both off, checked in when he could or invited them to his office for tea, but found that he spent significantly less time with his wife and child than he'd hoped when they first found out they were expecting. Between the pressure of training new teachers, having students pouring in from the East continuously as things hadn't quite settled in the region, and the wonderful complications of parenthood, Severus felt pulled as thin as fairy floss, and though Hermione never asked much of him, he saw her sullen expression every so often.

James Potter's birthday crept up on them and though the students had left hogwarts, Severus found himself quite busy with paperwork, mostly correspondence with the Ministry and Governors about having to replace the Charms professor and add another professor in Arithmancy and Astronomy as the Arithmancy classes would be required for all grade levels when the new school year came. In his annoyance, he penned a letter quickly to one of the board members about the striking changes to the curriculum at Hogwarts, Hermione and Evie at the table they'd transfigured in the office to provide them a place to eat together and for Hermione to feed Evie soft food now that her teeth were coming in.

As though a switch flipped, Severus roared at Hermione, who was trying to calm their daughter who seemed irritated by her teething and though Hermione had pulled Evie from her enchanted chair, she was still fussing. Tiny curls shook as Hermione held Evie against her, patting her back and swaying as she walked, shushing her ear and then humming. At first, Hermione felt his eyes on them and then she heard his quill snap, turning on them again, Severus slammed his fist down without saying anything at first, he cast a quick spell on Evie, some calming spell that didn't work. Finally, he stalked from the room, muttering things under his breath and stomping like an angry teenager from a fight. Finally, Evie calmed and Hermione took her to the washroom to clean her face from her baby cereal and then nursed her on the sofa before they needed to leave for Grimmauld Place. Though he'd been tense and stressed for a while, this had been the first instance where Hermione was genuinely concerned about her husband and his obvious annoyance with them. She'd thought he wanted to spend more time with Evie now that the semester was out, but it was clear that he was being pulled in too many directions. So, without waiting on him, she flooed to the G and T, leaving him a quick note so he wouldn't wonder where they were, and went with Stieg to Grimmauld Place, unable to process what had happened that afternoon. Hermione didn't begrudge him his impatience, there had been many moments as Evie grew that she'd lost her patience as well, but she did worry that he seemed more angry with their daughter's tears. Smoothing Evie's curls, which now framed her sweet face, Hermione gave her several kissed as they stepped out of the floo in Grimmauld place, immediately seeing the Potter boys and Lily, who were painting pictures at the table.

"Hermione! Bring Evie into the kitchen, I want to get a picture of her before we have snacks." Harry called out and Hermione acquiesced, finding him with a fun little photo booth with props.

"Her eyes, they've changed." Ginny called out as Harry put a silly hat on Evie's head, forcing Hermione to look at her again with new eyes. Evie had changed quite a bit since she'd been at Grimmauld Place last, her eyes were now hazel with flecks of amber and olive, like Hermione's father's had been, but the greatest change had been her hair. It grew so quickly following her three month check up, a curious shade of light brown, not nearly as dark as Severus' nor hers, almost as though she inherited their recessive genes.

"She was so fussy earlier, I'm glad you're getting her to smile. Her front teeth are pushing through to match the bottom ones and she's so pitiful." Ginny, who'd been icing the birthday cake, paused and looked over at Hermione who was waving at Evie and laughing.

"Lily was fussy like that and Albus, but James seemed to tolerate his teeth coming in much better. We used some potions, I'll get you that book Mum gave me, it saved many sleepless nights." Hermione nodded, almost shyly and then collected Evie, bouncing her a bit, grinning as she heard her tiny laugh.

"Where is Severus?" Harry asked, seeing Stieg come through the door but not his former potions professor.

"He was busy with work related things, so we came ahead, he'll…" But as she said the words, she heard the front door open and saw Severus walk through, Draco and Scorpius trailing them. Scorpius immediately went to the table with the kids to paint, so Hermione walked into the dining room and sat next to Lily, in her enchanted chair, easily covered in several layers of paint.

"What would you like to paint, Scorpius?" The little blonde looked over to Albus who was painting a zoo full of animals and then at James' picture of what looked to be the Potter family.

"Brooms and flying." He replied, reaching for a paint brush and paints, Hermione moved a water cup closer to them so she could help, Evie reaching for anything she could touch.

"You'll get your turn, poppet, hold on." Hermione cast a spell on the water cups to keep them stationary and then moved some paint closer to Evie so she could put her hands in it, thankfully Ginny had found paint that could be ingested because Evie was immediately covered in blue paint, though she did manage to cover a paper with several handprints, something precious for Hermione's office. At some point, Severus had come behind them to look at their artwork, bending to her to kiss the tops of both of their heads, and though Hermione felt any bitterness from their earlier encounter melt away, she wondered if he would bring it up when they returned home. If he had needed to be left alone, she wished he'd simply said that instead of making her feel like a bad mother, even if that hadn't been his intention.

After the kids were cleaned properly, the cake eaten and presents opened, Hermione took Evie upstairs to nurse, passing Stieg on the way who gave her an odd look, but said nothing. The familiarity of the nursery soothed her soul, the hours she'd spent rocking Potter children or soothing Teddy Lupin who was now seemed far too grown up, only visiting them rarely and not nearly as often as he had when he'd first come to Hogwarts. It didn't take long for Evie to grow sleepy while nursing, but Hermione tried to keep her awake long enough to nurse completely and not wake later too hungry. As she rocked, she thought about her husband and how stressed he'd been recently, and how much she wanted to take it away from him. Not working full time meant she'd had more time to see how truly busy being headmaster kept him and though he had handled things with the same regimented precision he always he did, he seemed unhappy. Lost in thought, she didn't hear the gentle opening of the door until he was already in the room and at her feet, kissing his daughter's head as she fell into gentle sleep, and then took her from Hermione's arms, holding her against in him appearing almost in prayer and then took Hermione's hand as she fastened her top again, following him from the room.

"I lost my temper…" He tried to say more but Hermione put her index finger on her lips.

"You have been consumed by work for months and I should've seen you were already at your limit.

"There is no excuse for how I behaved, I should've just left the room, I felt like my bloody father and I don't want our daughter to ever think of me as I think of him, or you. I would never hurt either of you." Hermione folded herself into his arms, having missed his embrace greatly during the preceding weeks.

"You need a break and if Babbling cannot handle the school, she doesn't need to be your deputy. I know we discounted Vector because she had some issues with me before we were married, but she would clearly handle the position. We need to go away or you do, on your own." This time, Severus stopped her.

"I do not want to spend less time with you and Evie, I already feel like I've missed the entire last month. I didn't even realize she was teething again until Ginny asked me about it, and I felt like a fool not knowing." Hermione didn't quite know how to respond at first, so she brought a hand to his chest and kissed him giving herself a moment to think about a plan of action.

"Severus, I didn't want to bother you…"

"You and Evie are never a bother, I swear." He voice was pleading.

"Still, you have things far more important than a bit of a fuss over teeth." The hand that had been rubbing her back stopped and came to her face, catching her chin.

"Our daughter is more important."

"Of course she is, but you have many children Severus and while she is genetically yours, they matter, too. It's clear you are trying to do what is best for them and that matters." Stepping up, she brushed her lips against his and had a thought. "What if we used a pensieve? For events you miss or to catch you up, or even legilimency, you'd see it from my perspective of course, but it would be better than nothing. And I can leave notes, like I am sure she is running a low grade fever from the teething, so you don't worry when you pick her up." She could see the contemplation in his eyes, agreeing that it wasn't his perfect solution to missing Evie and Hermione, but still better than feeling uninformed.

"Still, I'd like to do more, like when she first came home." Shutting his eyes for a moment, she remembered what it had felt like to hold Evie against his chest, her tiny breaths against his skin, her tiny hands.

"We'll have time this summer and we'll figure more out before school resumes and I go back into the classroom full time. Now, let me hold myself against you a bit longer before we both fall asleep in exhaustion." His lip curled instantly, following her up the stairs to the third floor and their room, foregoing the remaining guests and the Potters. Hermione relished the comfort of his arms and feel of his breath on her skin, the way he whispered her name in a rush of tongue on her throat, and then finally, the heat of his arousal, reminding her so keenly how their bodies fit together like puzzle pieces.

When Evie woke with a slight temperature several hours later, Severus rose to go to her, though he knew he'd simply bring her back in case she needed to nurse. When he entered the nursery, Lily was still asleep, the boys in their tiny beds quietly snoozing as well but his little girl was staring at him, wide-eyed and pouty-lipped. Gently lifting her from the crib, he felt the slight warmth of her skin and kissed her soft cheeks, and like her mother always did, she curled her head into his neck, her soft hair almost tickling him as he carried her up the stairs, one of her hands playing with a button on his nightshirt.

"Was she awake?" Hermione asked, getting her answer as Severus came through the door with Evie in tow, her tiny hands immediately reaching for Hermione.

"Come to mummy, my little love." Lying on her side, Hermione undid the buttons of her shirt and pulled Evie close, nursing her and smoothing her curls, wiping the tiny tears that were almost dry, taking in the moment as much as possible while Evie was still awake. She couldn't deny the connection she had with her daughter, especially when their eyes connected while nursing, as though Evie instantly became connected to her brain and heart. She felt Severus lie next to them, the mattress dipping slightly, then she saw his fingers tracing a pattern on Evie's back, breaking her eye contact with Evie for a moment, Hermione looked to Severus who was engrossed in the moment.

"We have been greatly blessed, Severus." Hermione whispered, seeing a flash of a smile on his lips. Looking back to Evie, Hermione saw her eyes dipping slowly towards sleep again, and then felt her tiny hand go into Hermione's hair, just like Severus loved to do. "She is truly your daughter."

"We can't help it if your hair is the perfect texture." Severus leaned over and kissed Hermione, casting a spell to keep him from rolling too far towards Evie when he fell asleep, kissing the baby one more time as he began to fall asleep himself. Hermione waited another ten minutes before pulling Evie up, buttoning her top again and casting a separate spell to protect Evie from Hermione rolling as well, effectively putting Evie in a bubble. Finally, Hermione drifted off to sleep, waking only in the morning when Evie giggled loudly enough to wake her, finding Severus blowing raspberries on Evie's stomach, he'd just changed her nappy and was changing her onesie. Smiling at them, Hermione tried to remember what life was like without Evie, without Severus, but she couldn't even remember what it felt like to love anyone else except Severus or to not be a mother. Putting her hair up, Hermione stretched and kissed them both, walking to the washroom and then after nursing Evie, meeting Severus in the dining room for breakfast where the Potters and Teddy were already elbow-deep into pancakes and bacon.

"This one looks much happier this morning." Harry remarked, ruffling Evie's curls and receiving an immediate scowl worth of the legacy of Severus Snape.

"She just needed her daddy, like all little girls." Hermione teased, handing Evie to Severus, who immediately tucked her into his left arm, bouncing her on his leg and trying to keep her from his bacon as Hermione finally ate some breakfast, forgetting how famished she was in the morning after nursing.

"What's on the agenda today, James?" Hermione asked, looking over to her sweet nephew who looked impossibly covered in syrup.

"We're building a castle." He said, pointing to Albus and Teddy.

"Well that sounds like a lovely day, can I come see it when you're finished?" Stuffing bacon into his mouth reminiscent of his Uncle Ron, James nodded furiously.

"Yes, Auntie, and Lily and Evie." Hermione loved the way James and Albus pronounced Lily and Evie, more like "Wilwy and Ebee", something so precious about the innocence of their voices.

"Will you have time for chess today, Severus?" Teddy asked as Harry filled the plate of bacon from the kitchen.

"I'm sure, we aren't heading back to Hogwarts today."

"Good, I'd like to see if my winning streak will continue." Teddy's smirk rivaled Severus', making everyone at the table laugh. Ginny handed Hermione the potions text on children, then they started talking about Ginny's coverage of the Quidditch World Cup and the boys and Lily visiting Hogwarts while she was gone.

"And it'll give you some good practice for when number two comes." Ginny joked, causing Severus' head to snap towards them. "Oh, don't worry, Severus, Hermione isn't a Weasley; it just never hurts to be prepared, is all." He immediately released the breath he'd held in and turned his attention back to Evie, happily bouncing in his lap as Hermione and Ginny laughed about his reaction. Hermione was sure, if they could, they'd have another baby at some point, not wanting their daughter to be an only child as they had been, especially not when she saw how much James, Albus, and Lily got on. And just like the image of Evie, before she knew Evie would ever exist, plagued her thoughts, Hermione saw flashes of another baby, a boy with dark eyes and pale skin, dimples so deep they looked like they'd been made with corkscrews, and lips, just like Severus' being kissed by Evie in the potions laboratory. It made her heart thump wildly again, imagining how her love would multiply, and how she hoped Severus would be happy to have a son, someone to carry his name, another being to love him as much, if not more than she did. Smiling over at her husband as their daughter reached to his chin, bringing his face down for kisses, she wished she could freeze the moment and play it over and over until she exhausted herself in happiness.

Neither knew it was this exact passion, which carried over through the month, which created their second child, Samuel John.

 _ **((())))**_

Hermione thought she heard Samuel cry from the nursery but before she could get to him, she felt her husband rise from his side of the bed, put his feet in his house shoes and then shuffle through the door he'd charmed years before to find his son rooting his fist around his mouth, his cries tapering off into whimpers as large hands grasped him beneath his arms and then tucked him away safely. Unlike Evie, Samuel rarely cried so both parents knew if he was crying that there was something amiss. Walking back through the door, Severus found Hermione sitting up, slowly unbuttoning her night shirt and reaching for their sweet boy, but not before Severus came back into the bed and cradled Samuel a minute more. Even though he'd been comfortable with Evie and still held her when he could, there was something about Samuel that made him want to cuddle him close whenever possible. Perhaps it was the fact that he was most likely their last baby or that he finally felt all the constrictions from his former life melting away when he held his son; regardless, it took much for him to hand over the now subdued infant into his wife's arms. For a moment, Samuel opened his eyes completely, staring between his mother and father with such piercing dark eyes Hermione felt she could get lost in them, finally settling on Hermione's as he began to nurse, his finger holding strong to Severus' as he did. Moments later, Severus heard Evie stir, but tried to wait before getting her, knowing she would want to lounge in bed with them if he grabbed her. He remembered having a tense conversation with Hermione about bringing the children, or child at the time, into their bed; he was afraid Evie would never leave or would never appreciate her space, but Severus found over time that having Evie or Samuel on the bed every so often was a comfort. Sure, he didn't love having a tiny foot pressed into his spine for the duration of his rest, but he did miss them when he left in the morning, finding himself far more afraid of losing them than he'd ever been about losing his own life.

When he walked back into the nursery, Severus found Evie pretending to read a book in her crib, for which she was getting too big, so he scooped her up, her arms going immediately into his hair around his neck. She murmured over and over in his ear, some unintelligible words and then his favorite, "Da,". Climbing back into bed next to his wife and nursing son, Severus plopped Evie in his lap and immediately ran his fingers through her hair which was still growing with no signs of slowing down, braiding it deftly into two braids and then taking the book in earnest and reading it to her, as though he hadn't before, doing voices and acting out some of the scenes with her. Like Hermione, Evie's eyes danced with anticipation, her little face full of wonder and excitement as his rich voice, perfect for storytelling, filled her tiny ears. Suddenly, though, as he was getting to the part where the ogre eats the small child, Evie stopped him, turning around fully to face him and pointed at the tattoo on his forearm, the phoenix he'd tattooed over the dark mark years before.

"Da? This Fawkes?" Pushing the book from his hands, she looked at his other arm, then lifted his shirt looking at all of his tattoos, catching Hermione's attention as well when she shifted Samuel to her other breast, watching her curious daughter. It occurred to Hermione then that all those years before when she'd been so curious about the tattoos, she'd only discovered the meaning behind three or so and then she'd decided to let him tell her when he was able, and neither had brought it up again as though his tattoos were just part of his skin. As she watched Evie trace the shamrock above Severus' right nipple, she had to stifle a laugh, remembering that they'd gotten that one together, her shamrock being in the same place, though larger now that she was breastfeeding again.

"Yes, goat, that is Fawkes and this is you, silly thing." Hermione had hated it the first time she heard Severus call their precious daughter goat, but then when she heard Evie protest the first time, stomp her foot in anger at being told no, she understood why Severus had given her the moniker. Though she was exceptionally sweet natured most of the time, Evie had a serious stubborn streak, just like a goat. He'd gotten the tattoo for Evie on her first birthday, when Hermione was swollen with child again and unable to attend the tattoo session, though when he came from, she found her love for him had increased that much more simply because he loved their daughter more than she would've thought possible when they'd first come together. Although she'd never gotten around to covering the 'mudblood' she'd been gifted by Bellatrix LeStrange, she did have plans once she was no longer nursing Samuel, something for the perseverance and determination she'd only known as an adult, something for Severus and the family they'd created together.

"Goat!" Evie shouted, pulling Severus' shirt over his head to look at his other tattoos littered across his body like freckles. He held a finger to his lips and pointed at Samuel who was slowly falling back asleep.

"Good goats know when it's time to use inside voices, Evangeline Rose." Immediately, they both saw their daughter's face fall; they could see her processing his words, hating to disappoint Severus already.

"Sorry, Da." Jumping from her spot, Evie went to Severus' back and wrapped her arms around him, tracing the myriad of dragons, mythical creatures, maps all leading to Evie's favorite tattoo which was Hermione's handwriting vertically on his right side. Evie traced the letters over and over, unable to read the text. Severus pulled her into his arms and lounged back, taking in her sweet smell and the soft sound of Samuel nursing, and thinking about Hermione's words, the ones tattooed painfully on his side. * ** _'Without you everything falls apart',_** words from her journal, words never meant for his eyes, but he'd read them anyway with her permission. It wasn't that he doubted her love, he could see her love in every moment of their lives together, but when he thought back to those early days, it was hard to remember the struggles they endured to be together, the misunderstandings and miscommunication. Her words reminded him how much he wanted her, needed her, in his life. Truthfully he knew he could live without her, without the beautiful life they'd built together, but he didn't want to, in fact he didn't want to imagine the pitiful existence he would endure if she had never come into his life.

"Da read?" Evie pulled the book back onto her lap, lost in Severus' arms again and when he started reading where they'd left off, Evie's eyes immediately started to droop closed, fighting sleep while comfortably lounging in the crook of his arm, her hand reaching tenderly to his hair as Hermione's was too far away. When her fingers stilled, he dared a glance down and saw that she was asleep, taking the book from her tiny hand and placing it on the nightstand before inching down on the bed and casting a charm to put a bubble around her and he pulled her close, facing Hermione and Samuel who was finishing up his midnight snack.

"Not afraid to spoil her?" Hermione teased, bringing Samuel to her shoulder, light patting him and running concentric circles across his tiny back, facing Severus completely on the bed and watching as their daughter snuggled against him.

"It's too late for that." He replied, reaching across Evie's sleeping body to hold Hermione's free hand as Samuel came to rest in her lap and her shirt was re-buttoned.

"Maybe I'm part Weasley after all." Hermione joked, looking between the sleeping faces of their daughter and son, similar yet incredibly different.

"You can't possibly mean…" Although she could hear the fear in his voice, across his face Severus looked merely curious and a tinge worried.

"No, no, Severus, you know we are finished. I just meant, because they came so closely together and so easily. I thought we'd have to try for ages after my issues with the hex Dolohov used." Reaching to touch Evie's curls with one hand and then Samuel's, Hermione wondered if Samuel's hair would lighten as Evie's had or if it would remain as dark as Severus'. They both seemed to have hazel eyes, though she still wasn't quite sure about Samuel's because Evie's had changed so dramatically at six months.

"I never thought I'd love this stage so much, when they're so small. I love how curious our girl is, but there's something about how stationary and sweet they are at Samuel's age; I don't know, I just want them to stay small forever." Hermione cast a cushioning and bubble charm around Samuel as she repositioned them, lying next to Samuel on the bed, resting her head on her hand and staring at Severus.

"I'm sure you miss sleep, though. Imagine what it will be like when he sleeps through the night." Words meant to soothe his wife backfired when he saw tears forming.

"I'm still hormonal, sorry, you're right." Wiping her eyes, Hermione tried to think of something else, how happy she was, how long it had been since they'd fought, how much she loved teaching still and seeing her students grow. She thought of her niece and nephews, the Potter children who made her an aunt first, and how her life hadn't taken the path she'd assumed it would when she was young. Looking over to her husband, still shirtless from his daughter's exploration of his tattoos, she wondered how different her life would've been if he'd never kissed her like he did in the potions lab. Instead of drying her eyes, the thought made her cry harder, every emotion of their lives together hitting her like a wrecking ball, quickly destroying any resolve she held to hide her emotions, instead opening the chasm and making it impossible for her to stop. Afraid to wake their children, she stood, weaved her way passed the teddy bears and other children's toys as she went to the washroom, passing Minka who looked surprised as she went, and immediately casting a silencing spell, letting it all out.

"You don't have to hide from me in the washroom, wife."

"I am being silly, I don't remember being this emotional after Evie." Severus pulled her against his shirtless chest, wrapping her tightly in his arms.

"You are entitled to your emotions, my dear, let it out." Hermione pushed her magic towards him without thinking, as she'd done for Stieg all those years before, a bright yellow aura filling the room as she did. Severus let her go and stepped back, feeling the weight of her emotions envelop him, forcing him to feel everything she felt, buckling his knees.

"I'm so sorry, Severus! I didn't think it would do that." Overwhelmed by her emotion, Severus sat on the floor for a moment longer and then brought her down to him, immediately pulling her against him. It was stronger than any legilimency he knew, stronger than any vision; what Hermione had given him was pure love, pure joy and he felt for the first time in his entire life her constancy, her devotion, and he knew that she was right, without her everything would fall apart. Even if he could live without her, he never wanted to, never again.

"Severus? Are you alright, I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize, you've given me a gift, if this is what happened with Stieg, it's no wonder he couldn't refuse you. I can't put it into words, you've just given me…" He took her face in his hands, staring into her watery amber eyes, unable to process all the emotions he suddenly felt. It wasn't as though he didn't love his children or her, for that matter, but her love was another level he'd never experienced before, as though her aura had breached the last dam of his emotional wall.

"I don't even know how it happens, it's only been twice now." Hermione giggled against him as he pulled her close, kissing her neck and trailing kisses across her chin.

"You are a phenomenal witch, Hermione, what have I done to deserve you?"

"I don't know about deserving me, but you love me as I am, Severus, and that's all I ever wanted." Pulling him up into a standing position, Hermione led him to the sitting room, pushing him onto the sofa and then placing herself across his lap, casting a charm on the bedroom to alert them if the kids woke since their other charms were still in place.

"Will you still want to cuddle with me when the kids are grown? When I'm old and gray?" Hermione drapped a soft blanket around Severus' shoulders and then circled her arms around him, resting her head on his chest.

"If I'm lucky; I imagine you'll be just as glorious when you're gray, my dear."

"If you're lucky? Planning on leaving me, headmaster?" Hermione nipped his bottom lip, tugging him a little closer, taking in the smell of sandalwood and bergamot.

"As though you would ever loosen your grip long enough for that to happen." Twirling her curls between his fingers, he brought her hand up to his mouth and kissed her knuckles before resting his arms around her legs, and letting her play in his hair for a change.

"Our vows said nothing about ownership, my love, you're free of my grip whenever you'd like." They both thought back to their wedding night a few Christmases before, and how much their lives had changed since they'd exchanged vows.

"You're being awfully cheeky tonight. Perhaps we need to visit St. Malo again? When Samuel is weaned, of course, I don't want you worried about leaking." Hermione's eyes brightened immediately, thinking about her husband on the city wall and how glorious he'd been the night he asked her to marry him.

"You spoil me; you know I will never turn down a trip to St. Malo." Yawning, Hermione tucked her face into his neck and sighed deeply, wondering if she could still project her emotions onto him, steeling all of her emotion again she imagined their wedding, Evie and Samuel's births, the night he first kissed her, saving him in the Shrieking Shack, and without realizing it, they were swirling in her energy, bright yellow and chirping almost like a bird, Severus looked between her and the aura in wonder, they both looked to their bedroom door as Evie scampered through.

"Mummy! Birdies!" Taking one last deep kiss from Hermione, Severus gathered both of his girls in his arms and held them tight before they all went back to the bed, finding Samuel still asleep and unaware of the ruckus in the sitting room.

"Close your eyes, Evie, and dream of birdies and butterflies, like we see at Uncle Harry's house." Hermione smoothed her daughter's hair from her face and then reached for Severus' hand, patting it as he pulled Evie close again.

"I love you." Hermione whispered, kissing Samuel's soft forehead.

"You have no idea how much I love you, Hermione." She didn't care if she woke with a crick in her neck, Hermione couldn't help but watch her loves sleep, feeling blessed beyond measure.

*this lyric is from the song, 'The Perfect Drug', by NIN. This song lit a fire under me and this story came from that fire. I know this last bit is a tad fluffy and romantic, I couldn't help myself.


	25. Chapter 25

**AN:I updated chapter 24 so you might want to check that out before reading this . Thank you all so much for supporting this fic and for all of your reviews, pms, favorites, and follows. Although I will never be finished writing for SS/HG, this little fic is finished...for now. I hope I was able to accomplish the things I set out to do, a believable romance between SS and HG that didn't happen overnight, fraught with real life happening along the way. There are still a few plot points I want to fix, as well. Thank you again for reading and reviewing!**

 **Chapter 25 Epilogue**

"Care for a friendly wager?" She heard Neville Longbottom ask of Severus, as the first years came into the Great Hall, their nervous faces fascinated by the floating candles as they followed Deputy Headmistress Vector between the long tables.

"Depends on the terms, Professor Longbottom." Severus replied, placing his hand on Hermione's as their son walked with the first years. Samuel always stood out amongst his peers because he was so tall for his age.

"I wager chaperoning duties for all Hogsmeade visits that Samuel will be in Hufflepuff." Severus immediately sneered, wondering how he could have possibly produced a child who could even be thought to be sorted into Hufflepuff. Though he didn't normally buy into house rivalries, he couldn't imagine his child being in Hufflepuff, even if Samuel was kindhearted and loyal to a fault.

"I cannot take that wager as headmaster, but you might make it with Professor Granger, here." Hermione snapped to both of them, rolling her eyes and waving at Evie, sitting with her classmates in Ravenclaw, her long dark hair plaited by Severus merely minutes before coming to the hall to welcome new students.

"I refuse after I lost over Lily, who knew Harry and Ginny would have two kids so completely unlike them?" They snickered looking over to Lily and Albus Potter, in Ravenclaw and Slytherin respectively. Severus had admitted as soon as Albus was sorted that he was proud his godson had been placed in Slytherin, his friendship with Scorpius Malfoy had only grown over the years. It was Lily Potter that had truly surprised them, but then again she and Evie had always been incredibly creative and intelligent.

As Vector moved the stool and sorting hat, she called out names and cheers rebounded from the stone walls until finally, Samuel was called, walking confidently to the stool, his curly dark hair and pale skin made him look far more a Snape than a Granger, but in his behavior, he never showed a hint of malice or cunning, he was far too kind and empathetic than Severus had ever thought to be in his entire existence. The hat was mulling things over, but it went on longer than any of them thought it would. Neville and Patrick thought for sure it would place him in Hufflepuff instantly, but even they eyed him oddly, then Severus and Hermione who looked concerned. Finally, she heard her son's voice say something, as though arguing with the hat; she knew his voice in defence easily, he and his sister didn't fight often but when they did it was like watching a fencing match. They never raised their voices, simply sparred like she and Severus had always sparred. Considering this, she wondered if that was why the hat was having trouble placing him.

When Samuel John was born, he never cried and it took hours before he made any sound, he simply stared at them with his large, dark eyes, and his first smile was saved for Evie who doted over him more than anyone else. And though he had never been cunning or conspiratory, he was exceptionally quick witted. Glancing over to Evie, Hermione shrugged her shoulders and waited with everyone else, images of his early life flashing through her mind. Finally, the hat hummed loudly, a sound she'd never heard from it and looked down at her watch, it had been ten minutes.

"Severus, what if it's a true hat stall?" Hermione leaned over, never thinking for a moment that their son would be such a strange fit. She could see hints of Samuel's curls at the base of his neck as the hat continued to mull things over. In her mind, she could smell that exposed spot, the line between his hair and shirt collar, the musky smell his father also bore. She wanted to reach for him and pull him close, as she had so often when he was small and wanted her affection.

"His decision will override the hat's in that case, unless he's that unsure which seems unlike him." As soon as he finished his sentence, he heard Samuel's voice, rising for the first time in his entire life to levels that he and Hermione had never heard. Vector turned to them, red-faced and suddenly, as though all the air went out of the room, the floating candles all extinguished, a great whirling noise filled the hall, and the hat roared, "Slytherin". Shocking everyone, especially his parents who were still in awe of the raw magic shown, reminding Hermione of the moment when she'd convinced Stieg to give life another chance with her raw energy. Immediately removing the hat, Vector watched as Samuel went to the Slytherin table, sitting immediately next to his cousins Albus and Scorpius, looking to his parents.

"Perhaps we've underestimated our son all these years, Severus." Hermione clapped for Samuel and waved to him as he finally looked up; she saw the determination on his face. Severus replied, but Hermione didn't hear him. After dinner and Severus' speech to the students, she caught up with Evie and Lily, both full of delicious food.

"Can you believe Sam is a Slytherin? I almost choked on my pumpkin juice." Lily said suddenly as Hermione looked over to her son, smiling with Albus and Scorpius, and thought perhaps he would be just fine in Slytherin, though she worried he wasn't quite as ambitious as his housemates, he was definitely resourceful. Finally, when the girls walked off to their common room, Hermione made it over to her son.

"I'm so proud of you, Samuel." She said, putting her arm around his shoulders and squeezing him.

"I know it took a while, but the hat kept throwing different ideas out, like I could be in Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff, I thought I wanted Hufflepuff, but then it started arguing and I kept giving examples of people I knew who could've fit in many different houses, anyway, I guess I'm more like Dad than I thought." He turned his sharp chin towards her, almost as tall as she was now, and she saw that same drive and desire to prove himself that she'd in Severus so often. They had been so clearly wrong about Samuel.

"What are you worried about?" Hermione asked suddenly, seeing a hint of fear in his eyes, much like she'd seen when he was small and they were traveling or flying.

"I won't fit in...I didn't feel like I fit in anywhere, really." As though summoned, Severus appeared at their side, hearing the tail end of what he said.

"Your mother is an amalgamation of all the houses and like her you would fit in any of them, now go to your common room and unpack, Alby and Scorpius are waiting at the doors." Samuel nodded, hugging Hermione tightly and tell her he loved her, and then moving away from them, his father's words settling in his brain like tea at the bottom of a cup. Hermione knew she'd have to check in on him again before long, but she let him go. Since he'd been placed in Slytherin, she knew hanging out with his mum for too long would do him no favors. When he reached Albus and Scorpius, they ran off much like she, Harry, and Ron had after they'd become friends; she was thankful he'd have them at least to introduce him to the house, even if they were years ahead of him.

"We've tea with Stieg, meet me at the gates? I fancy a walk after this evening." Hermione placed her hand on Severus' arm, waving to a few professors as they retreated to their quarters for the evening.

"Yes, let me make sure the students have made to their common rooms and I'll meet you." Winking slightly at him, Hermione left the Great Hall and walked to their quarters, enlarged to accommodate their two children who were now housed in quarters for their respective houses, she knew it would be an adjustment for her not seeing them as often, but they did eat lunch together most days and on the weekends they stayed in their old rooms. Grabbing her light sweater, she met Patrick and Violet at the gates, their son, Sean, who was six, told her all about some dragons Stieg had shown him in Romania over the summer. It made her wish Samuel was still so small. He'd loved, still loved, Stieg so much when he was small, hanging on his every word. When they'd waited for fifteen minutes, Hermione decided to leave without him and they walked, finding Stieg incredibly happy to see them as the door opened. Draco was pouring everyone wine as she and the Davenports came through. Although she was used to seeing him every Sunday, Hermione was surprised to find Draco in Stieg's kitchen.

"You'll never believe it, but Samuel is a Slytherin." Patrick called out from the kitchen, eventually carrying a tray into the sitting room. Hermione hugged Stieg tightly and kissed both his cheeks.

"I'll be damned, a Slytherin. Well, that shouldn't really surprise us, he's inherited your resourcefulness and wit, Severus' logical mind, who knows, maybe he's more cunning that we all thought." Hermione sat next to him on the sofa, enjoying the familiarity of his comforting arm around her shoulders. In the years since they'd made their first acquaintance, Stieg had truly become a father to her and a grandfather to her children.

"Evie gave me this letter for you, as though she didn't see you yesterday." Hermione reached into her charmed bag and pulled the letter, heavy parchment and an appropriate seal.

"Ah, yes, she and I have been exchanging riddles, so she must've solved mine. Clever girl, but we always knew she would be." Stieg's bright blue eyes sparkled as he spoke of Evie, his only granddaughter.

"Well, she loves her Bunic dearly." Sean looked over to her as she said the Romanian word for grandfather and began singing a Romanian folk song Stieg must've taught him.

"Where is Severus?" Stieg finally, but though as on cue, Severus walked through the door looking quite annoyed.

"Problems already?" Hermione heard Stieg ask as she stood to kiss her husband, finally free from the many eyes of their students.

"I had a guest who couldn't wait." Severus responded as Teddy came in through the door with Victoire Weasley, his new wife. Hermione immediately released Severus and hugged them both, Stieg joined them in their hugs, Teddy had become a fixture in his life as well.

"What brings you all to Scotland?" Patrick asked, helping Sean with a puzzle at the table.

"I've been offered a job here, but we couldn't get back before this evening." Teddy's hazel eyes sparkled like his father's had.

"Severus?" Hermione looked to her husband who had kept it all a secret.

"Welcome our new Charms professor, officially ending the terrible streak of fools who've held it since Filius officially retired."

"This is fantastic news! Evie and Samuel will be so excited...speaking of, did Severus tell you?" Hermione pulled Teddy into the sitting room, locking her arm in his.

"What?" Teddy poured some wine for he and Victoire, as he looked at Hermione incredulously.

"Samuel was sorted in Slytherin." Severus said before Hermione could, pouring the rest of them wine from the exquisite glasses set Stieg used on Sundays.

"Impossible, I thought he was Hufflepuff for sure." Incredibly, Teddy's hair turned green as he thought about it.

"It took ten minutes for the hat to make a decision, I thought Vector was going to have a heart attack." Hermione laughed as she thought about it, about her son sitting calmly though with clear intent as the hat mulled over the choices.

"So Victoire, what will you be doing?" Hermione looked to the blonde beauty, a Weasley but a Delacour all the same.

"I'll be finishing my training with Madame Pomfrey since she is retiring next year and then the headmaster has offered me her position." Severus immediately nodded to Hermione, who looked shocked. The remainder of the evening passed in pleasant conversation and comfortable catching up, which Hermione enjoyed though she wished her children were with her.

"Draco, did they finally fire that horrible secretary of yours, what was his name, Bluffton? Bullard?" Hermione sipped her wine and looked around the table at the charming and odd family they'd created for themselves.

"Yes, finally. I only had to write him up six times. And it was Brighton, Granger. You used to have a good memory, being married to this old codger has ruined you." Severus scowled at his godson and then possessively put an arm around Hermione.

"You should be thankful she talks to you at all after snubbing that girl she set you up with." Severus retorted.

"She was a troll." Draco countered, trying to temper his words in front of Sean, though all the adults were having a nice laugh.

"See if I set you up again, she was no worse than Millicent Bulstrode or Pansy Parkinson, and you dated both of them." Hermione countered, her determined brow meeting an equally ardent one.

"I don't recall dating either of those trolls. But if I have, I guess that makes sense as to your choice...now the lovely tart...erm…lady Ronald Weasley introduced me to last week, well we'll see about her." It made them laugh again, especially when little Sean asked his father what tart meant. They ate between pleasant conversation and jokes, all catching up after a few missed Sundays due to family vacations. Every now and then Hermione thought of her son and his adjustment to being a student at Hogwarts and not just the child of the potions master and headmaster, hoping his cousins and friends were helping him settle in.

Later, when Hermione and Severus left the G and T, where they both spent many evenings as things at the store were always busy and potions in high demand, Hermione curled her arm into his, thankful he was able to make it to Stieg's. Looking towards the castle, she wondered how much longer he would be headmaster before it was time to step down and live freely, but she didn't ask, instead she thought about Evie and Samuel, the children they'd produced in their thirteen, almost fourteen year marriage. It hadn't been fraught with the tumult of their early years together, indecision and misunderstanding, but there had been tense times when they were learning to balance two children, especially ones close in age. Samuel had been a complete surprise arriving four months after Evie's first birthday, shocking Hermione far more than Severus. It had been the first time in their marriage that she'd been truly afraid to tell him something, as they'd already discussed waiting to have another child until Evie was older and their life had calmed, but Samuel came regardless of their intentions.

 _In that moment, she recalled walking into their office where Severus was feeding Evie at the table, she was just over ten months old, her hair still growing wildly and Severus completely wrapped around her finger. She'd just come from Poppy who had confirmed her suspicions quite easily with a spell, just hours after Albus' fourth birthday party where the smell of Severus' after shave had caused her to vomit. Taking a seat next to Evie's enchanted chair, Hermione pushed a few curls from her daughter's face and then met Severus' gaze._

 _"How was Poppy?"_

 _"Good, it was busy up there, I guess the Weasley's new chocolates induce vomit so rapidly Poppy ran out of beds." Hermione fidgeted with her sleeve and then smiled at Evie, who was babbling and singing, a tune Hermione often sang to her._

 _"Hermione?" Slicing some strawberries, Severus' raised brow caught her off guard, it had been tucked away for a while but not she could barely look at him. Rising, she went to washroom and washed her face, wiping it dry with a hand towel and imaging what it was going to be like having a baby in June, being heavily pregnant through exams. Shuddering, she started to cry, she felt the stress of caring for Evie, being back in the classroom, making sure things at the G and T were going well, and trying to keep things less stressful for Severus. Suddenly, his arms were around her and then he turned her, running his hands up and down her sides._

 _"What has you so troubled?" He asked, wiping a tear from her cheek as it fell._

 _"Severus, I…" But she lost the words, so she took his hands and put them on her stomach, which had really just returned to the size it had been before Evie was born. "I know we said we'd wait, but I guess fate has other plans for us." It finally sank in and she saw his grin, the curl of his lip a surprise._

 _"Then we are greatly blessed, Hermione. When are we to become parents of two?"_

 _"June, near James' birthday." He kissed her ardently, his lips crushing hers in happiness._

 _"Quite possibly the best news I could hear today." He whispered against her, confusing Hermione greatly._

 _"Really?" Pushing some hair behind her ears, Severus kissed her again, nibbling her lips and pecking her cheeks._

 _"I thought you were sick again or worse." She folded into him, then heard the clinking of a spoon, realizing Evie was still in the office. "Winky is with her, don't worry." And she didn't, instead she kissed her husband again and thought of their daughter and the new life they'd created._

Back on the walk to Hogwarts, Hermione wiped away a tear.

"What has you so emotional?"

"Just thinking about Samuel, when I found out we were expecting. You never fail to surprise me, Severus, even now with Teddy. Thank you." She stopped him, holding the collar of his frock coat and buttons beneath her hands, and stepping on her toes. "Even after almost fourteen years of marriage, I can't get enough of this." His arms came to her waist and he agreed, they were certainly as compatible as they'd ever been, their chemistry still strong- he knew they were lucky, especially that time had not withered away their affections.

"Let's go in before we freeze." She finally said, after they'd stood that way long enough for Patrick and Violet to catch up. Once in their quarters, Hermione stretched on their sofa, her legs across Severus' lap as he read through post and she through material for her first lessons. Although she missed their children, whenever she looked over to Severus she was reminded of the capable hands they were in. As if sensing her eyes, he looked over to her, a gentle smile crossed his mouth extending to his eyes, then he tickled her foot as if they were teenagers, causing her to laugh so hard she almost fell from the sofa, but he was quick to catch her, kissing her before going back to his letters. All the years she'd struggled with her grief, letting go of those they'd lost in the war, her parents, knowing that people she loved like Teddy Lupin had to grow up without their parents, seemed to melt away when she snuggled up to her husband on the sofa where they'd spent years learning more about each other and learning to love unconditionally. When she looked at Teddy, she no longer thought sadly of his parents, people she'd loved dearly, being gone instead she saw how they'd all enveloped him in love and raised him with an honest admiration and knowledge of his parents. His childhood had been nothing like Harry's and even though the extended family they'd created wasn't perfect, it was better than any family Hermione or Severus had ever known. Their children had adopted grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins, they would never had known otherwise, and by extension, Hermione never lost her empathy and belief that the majority of people could be redeemed. For his part, Severus had finally learned to let people into his life, his son and daughter teaching him more about unconditional love than he could've ever learned from his wife, even if she tried harder than any other human being he'd known in his life. All in all, they had been able to build a life together mostly free of the early fears and miscommunications of their lives together, even if she still pushed too hard sometimes and he sniped at her without cause.

If someone had told her when she first arrived at Hogwarts six years after the final battle that she'd eventually marry the headmaster, become a Potions Master, cure lycanthropy and have two children, she wouldn't have believed them, but looking over at Severus, she was certainly glad it had all happened that she got to spend her life with him, even when he was being cantankerous or foul, he was her curmudgeon and she his insufferable know-it-all, unwilling to settle for anything but the best she could give him.

AN2: I don't normally explain the names of my story, but for this one I feel like I need to. The perfect drug refers to the healing and time needed for HG and SS to move on, in reality I don't know if SS could ever really live a normal life after everything he went through and did. He is redeemable, to me and in my mind to HG. She seems to me a fearless, compassionate woman and that is why she surrounds herself with those she feels the need to "save"; in essence, HG is the perfect drug for those people. Obviously I created Stieg, but he was meant to be a tool to show HG's belief in redemption; I guess I failed in that for some of you but in my mind, he became to important to her to let go. I hope that clears some things up for those of you who had questions.


End file.
